


Tea'sing All The Way Through

by Defenestrated_Nutter



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And so does Law, Anxiety, Blood and Injury, Depression, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Luffy deserves a hug, M/M, Minor Character Death, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Self-Mutilation, Slow Build, Slow Burn, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2020-05-19 16:25:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 155,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19360531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Defenestrated_Nutter/pseuds/Defenestrated_Nutter
Summary: The coffee shop that had become Law's second home just closed and he was forced to find another one to survive. In between all the madness that is college, he found himself tangled with his barista's personal life, his dog and his really bad food puns as if he didn't have enough of his own problems already.A journey about self-discovery.Lawlu. Slow burn. Like, really slow burn.Warnings inside.





	1. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there^^
> 
> Firstly published on my Fanfiction.net account, which is run under the same name, I now publish it here, as it is the platform that I most use nowadays.
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTES: this story will deal with some issues that you might find triggering, such as references to minor character's death, references to grief and mourning, some signs of depression, anxiety and panic attacks, references self-harm and self-induced injuries, graphic descriptions of blood and injuries, injury recovery, sexual content. Although I'm by no means expert in any of these matters, please be aware of this.
> 
> Please have in mind that English is not my first language ^^'
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to One Piece.
> 
> I hope you like this piece.

The day Law discovered his new favorite coffee shop was a day just like the others. The sky was a bit cloudy, with the sun already out of sight, and he was making his way towards his apartment building, deciding to make a shortcut that ended up not being a shortcut at all. He grabbed his phone to know where the hell he was before he could get even more lost, almost as if the three years since he moved and started his current college life weren't enough for him to get fully adapted to the town, him still getting lost more often than not. He told himself that it was mostly due to the fact that he was only on his own apartment, at college, or inside the coffee shop that had welcomed him since the beginning and therefore he never actually decided to go for a walk, to go explore on his own his surroundings.

That was, however, until that same coffee shop decided to close without any previous warning and Law saw himself obligated to walk around town in order to find a new spot with free WiFi and a coffee strong enough to have an actual effect on his sleep-deprived brain. And goddammit, didn't it turn out to be just an impossible task. Every coffee shop he entered ended up having some sort of problem. The coffee was bad, the place was loud, the baristas were annoying, the place sucked, the internet was shit. Every single one had to have at least one of these flaws, if not more, and sure, it was probably Law's problem more than anything else, but it wasn't like it was his fault that he had high standards when it came to coffee shops, he was used to be a regular customer at one of the best ones in town apparently after all.

So yeah, the day Law discovered his new favorite coffee shop was a day just like the others, and it was totally unintentional too. The moment he found out he was on Cocoyashi Street was also the moment his phone warned him about a nearby WiFi network named Bell-mere. He looked around, hoping for it to belong to a coffee shop and there it was, right in front of him. From the outside, it didn't look like a coffee shop at all, and Law was sure that if it wasn't for the WiFi warning he would've, for certain, walked right past it without acknowledging that the place was even there. He decided to give the place a try, after all, he doubted it could be that loud or that crowded since most people probably wouldn't even know it's there. And he also needed a coffee, badly.

When he opens the door, a small bell jingles just above him, causing everyone sitting inside to look at him, and well, it actually a good amount of people, considering Law was expecting a small and deserted place. He walks towards the counter where only a man was in front of him in line, being served by a young red-haired woman not older than Law himself. The woman smiles politely and gives the man his order before looking at Law with an expectant and curious look as if trying to remember if this was the first time Law has come in or not.

Law orders just an espresso, the strongest she can manage to make, and asks for the wifi's password. She looks at him funny in response, then noticing the bag hanging on Law's left shoulder and snorting before turning around to make his order. When she turns back again, she hands him his coffee without any ceremony along with a small yellow piece of paper with the password written on it, and then takes the money avidly.

He nods and walks towards the corner where he gets himself installed. From there, he has the perfect view of the street where he was just a few minutes ago, but he doubts he will be looking through it much. Instead, he grabs his computer from his bag and places it on top of the dark wooden table, connecting it to the plug he saw when he was still by the counter, just in the wall behind him. From the corner of his eye, he can sense the woman still staring at him, but he forces himself to not look back at her with one of his glares, forcing her to look away, to stop, to mind her own business. For the first time since he started looking for a new coffee shop, he actually found one that he more or less enjoys all things considered, and so he doesn't want to start the relationship with the barista on the wrong foot right on the first day and before he even tasted the coffee.

As it turns out, the coffee is good,  _really good_ , if not way better than the one he was used to order just a few weeks ago, so he calls that accident a win. And that was how Law discovered his new favorite coffee shop, was how he discovered the place where he would spend most of his free time and money, where he would cry out of frustration and stress with work, and where he would probably lose a lot of years of life while doing so.

Law officially became a regular after two weeks of going there every single day and after staying in the corner for a good couple of hours straight each time, his eyes glued to his computer's screen and surrounded by a pile of papers and books. He finds out that the red-haired woman is named Nami on a day where he was unusually chatty and she had no more customers to attend, and ever since then she does her best to chitchat with him whenever he approaches the counter to order, although that never lasts long, as he grabs his coffee mug and basically sprints to his table in the first chance he gets to do so. Luckily for him, she never once tried to initiate a conversation with him after he settled down, quickly losing interest on him then. Once or twice, she tried to sell him one of the baked goods on display, stating they were made by her sister and the best ones in town, and damn, didn't they look good and mouthwatering, with bright colors and funny shapes. After that incident, he caught the habit of always telling her how good they looked whenever he saw a new variety on display, which was basically every day if he's being honest, but he never actually bought one, much to Nami's dismay.

"My sister likes to experiment new things," Nami had said once when she caught Law staring at one very good looking muffin. He didn't buy it though, and the change of Nami's polite smile to a sulk was totally worth it.

.

.

.

On the Monday of the third week, it was raining so heavily that Law ended up getting soaked to the bones the second he walked out of his class. He didn't bring an umbrella in the morning, mostly because he doesn't exactly own a proper one that actually covers at least half of his body, and didn't have enough time to buy one on his way to college, as he was already running too late.

He opens the Bell-mere's door with probably more force than necessary, the bell jingling just above him, and goes directly to his table before ordering. He opens his bag and takes everything out, praying for his computer to still be working properly and his books to still be dry. He's lucky, and couldn't thank the gods mentally more even if he tried to.

He puts his bag in the back of the chair, adjacent to the one where he usually seats, to see if it dries a bit before he has to leave, and it's only then that he makes his way to the counter, it's only then that he realizes how Nami and her judging expressions badly hidden behind her polite smile aren't anywhere to be seen. Instead, there is a guy on the other side of the counter, looking at him funny, and not in a Nami-kind-of-funny-stare that she used to have when he first entered through the Bell-mere's door. No, his funny stare is way different, as if he's trying hard not to bust up laughing right in Law's face and be polite and welcoming at the same time. Law has never seen the guy there before, hell he has never seen anyone taking orders other than Nami before, and it makes him wonder if maybe the guy is new, or if perhaps he's just covering Nami's shift, or if maybe he was on vacation.

Law tells him his order, his voice rough due to the bad weather, although the cold and the unexpected bath could also be to blame, but he decides to ignore it, instead putting the money on top of the counter and waiting for the guy to finish his coffee. He realizes then how he wished the baristas there wore name tags, like everywhere else, so that he could know to whom he's referring to mentally, and maybe he should tell that to Nami the next time he catches her working since he already knows she and her sister own the place. He wonders then why she decided to not use name tags, she seems smart so she probably has a reason for it.

Law stares at the guy's back as he does his order. He seems experienced with the machines so Law isn't too worried about his coffee tasting differently than the one Nami does, although he does seem a lot more clumsy, making a mess on the floor just by refilling the coffee machine. When he turns around, he hands Law his coffee with a big toothy grin that makes his face bright weirdly and then grabs the money from the counter as Law turns around to return to his table, almost tripping in the puddle he made just by standing there waiting.

"Would you like a towel or something to dry off?" The guy asks, his voice so high pitched that Law's surprised to notice how it actually doesn't annoy him as much as it usually does, as much as it should, but the way he clears his throat right after tells Law that that's not his usual tone of voice either.

"Yeah, if you might," Law mumbles and glares at the water underneath his feet. "Sorry about the puddle," he adds and scratches the back of his neck with his free hand, then turning around and noticing the trail of muddy footprints that goes from the door to the table and then to where he's standing, "and the trail."

"Don't worry about it. Go sit and I will bring you a towel in a minute," the guy says and disappears into the door that Law supposes leads to the kitchen area since he has seen Nami bringing the baked goods from there whenever a variety was out on display.

Law does what he is told and goes sit, being careful not to make any more mess than what he has already done and also thankful for the fact that Nami wasn't there to give him a lecture and make him clean everything with his own bare hands or to charge the extra service. Law takes off his soaked hat then, hanging it near his bag before putting his coat in the back of his own chair. His hair is dripping wet, soaking his sweater that managed to remain dry underneath the coat's protection and making him uncomfortable.

The guy comes back and stares at Law's messy and wet hair for a bit before handing him a small towel, then turning around to start cleaning the floor with a mop. For a moment, Law almost feels bad for him, but then he notices the smirk splashed across the kid's face as he cleans all the mess on the floor, obviously amused by Law current state and misery. He watches as the guy talks to a few people while mopping, the shop being more crowded than usual and a few some of them resembling Law, with small towels on top of their shoulders and just trying to dry their things, although Law's sure he looks a lot worse than any of them. He wonders how many times the kid had to clean the floor that day, how many times that floor has seen a muddy foot trail.

When the guy returns to his place behind the counter, he catches Law staring at him and returns it with a lopsided smile that takes Law off guard, deciding then that it's time for him to get his work done and quickly redirecting his stare from the guy to the computer's screen in front of him. He has an important essay that he still needs to finish and to revise, so that's what he does, what he focus on, what he gets absorbed into. He sits there, in his peaceful corner, occasionally looking at the rain that hits the big window next to him, the noise it makes being surprisingly relaxing and helping him get focused. He avoids looking in the guy's direction every time he hears the bell tingle and, within an hour, Law basically forgot about his existence altogether, forgot that there were other people around him. The heat of the place helped him get dry in no time, but he's sure his hat and bag in front of him are still quite wet. He's can see how messy his hair is in the reflection on his computer's screen every time it gets darker and his clothes feel weird against his skin, making it hitch. He feels exhausted and his eyes start to hurt by the time he's halfway through his essay. As he looks at the now empty coffee mug on top of one of his anatomy books, he considers ordering another one, but he reluctantly decides against it, having already abused caffeine during the previous night as he needed to stay awake and ended up not sleeping at all.

Law doesn't hear the guy coming in his direction, doesn't see or acknowledge his presence, doesn't sense him getting closes. In fact, Law only snaps out of his bubble when he hears him laughing with two other customers in the table right beside him and, by that time, a sweet smell fills his nostrils. When he looks to the place where is empty coffee mug was supposed to be, he's surprised to see that it has been replaced with a small blue plate and another mug. He glares at the brown waffle and at the coffee mug that he's sure contains more milk than coffee due to its appearance for some good two minutes before looking in the counter's direction, noticing how by then the guy had already returned. He doesn't look back at him and Law's sure as hell that he's avoiding looking at him and is pretending to be busy cleaning the machines, it's quite obvious really.

So, instead, he glares at the food in front of him again and just wonders the reason why it's there in the first place. Law didn't order anything aside from his first coffee two hours ago, and he's sure the guy isn't that incompetent to have mistaken another customer's order and thought it was his, so it terribly confuses him. It's only then that he sees a small yellow paper near his waffle plate, the same kind of paper as the one Nami used to write the WiFi's password the first time Law entered through Bell-mere's door.

He stares at it before grabbing it to read and then he honestly doesn't know what he's supposed to do or think with the information written on it.

**_I know youve just ordered a coffee but that was two hours ago and you look pretty waffle._ **

Law looks at the guy again, but he's still shamelessly ignoring him. He decides then that he prefers Nami as his barista, since at least she knows how to respect the boundaries he has made and knows when to stop pushing him to eat. In fact, in protest, he refuses to eat or drink, deciding to ignore the food completely and starts working again, typing angrily on his keyboard. But, in the end, he isn't able to resist that delicious smell of chocolate for more than ten minutes, and he eats the goddamn pastry like a caveman that hasn't seen food for days.

By the time he feels the guy finally looking at him, Law sees how he has a grin cutting his face in half. The plate is now empty and the mug could be refilled one more time if Law wanted to, which he doesn't. He won't fall into temptation one more time, he won't be making a fool out of himself for the guy again.

Law decides then that it's time to go, it's time for him to sleep and clean his mind. He packs everything inside of his bag again, it being more or less dry by now. He hasn't realized it had stopped raining until then, so it was safe for him to go and only come back when he sees a redhead instead of a brunet on the other side of the counter.

Law brings the plate and the mug with him to the counter and then puts both things on top of it. The guy asks if Law liked it or not, to which he only responds by asking how much it is for him to pay. It shouldn't make the guy's grin grow bigger as it did.

"On the house," the guy says, "you didn't order it after all."

Law stares at him for a bit and suppresses the then  _why did you put it on my table_  that wants to get out of his mouth, mostly because he's sure as hell he would just receive an  _if you didn't want it why did you eat it?_  in response. When the guy looks unfazed by Law's stare, he decides to look for the price tag on display and leaves enough money to pay the way too fancy Chocolate-Hazelnut Waffle with Frangelico brown butter syrup and the coffee inside of the tip jar before leaving.

He decides then that he likes Nami the best for sure, she would've never given him free food, insist on him buying something other than his usual coffee sure, but free food? Never.

.

.

.

A week passes by before Law sees the guy again but, unfortunately, he sees him two days in a row. The weather is reasonably good enough but Law couldn't be more stressed with all the college shit that he still needed to get done due that week. He has a headache by the time he stands in the surprisingly long line to the counter and, the backpack that he brought along with his usual computer bag adds a lot more weight to his back.

Law looks around while waiting, keeping his mind occupied and noticing how he place is crowded and has more people than what he has ever seen since he started going there, even his table being occupied by an old looking couple, preventing him from throwing all his shit to his usual corner before ordering like he normally do. He couldn't be more pissed off but, by the time he leaves the line with his coffee on his hand, the table is already empty and so he doesn't waste time, making his way towards it before anyone else can.

And it happens again. Two hours later, his empty mug is replaced by another one and a plate, only this time, Law catches the guy doing it.

"I didn't order anything," Law says looking away from the words on his computer.

"I know," the guy just simply responds and walks away before Law can say anything else, leaving the plate and coffee behind like Law didn't just complain about then.

The coffee is good but it isn't as strong in caffeine as he would like it to be, but he guesses it's for the best really, it helps him get a bit more awake but doesn't send him to the grave earlier. Today the plate contains a small square piece of cake instead of a waffle, brown with white cream and what seems to be diced walnuts on top. It looks good, but Law still tries to resist the urge to eat it, despite the temptation, although he doesn't last longer than last time, the only difference being that now Law doesn't look in the guy's direction as he gives a bite on the cake, feeling the carrot flavor and what appears to be raisins inside of his mouth, the cream tasting like some sort of cheese, the whole combination being moist and surprisingly good.

By the time he has to leave, he packs everything inside of his bag and backpack, including the guy's note that just simply says,  ** _I know I'm not your friend or anything but as the good employee as I am I carrot about my customers and you look like hell._**  He takes the plate and mug with him again and then puts enough money to pay the coffee and the carrot cake inside the tip jar before he leaves.

.

.

.

The next day, when he enters through the Bell-mere's door again, he isn't surprised to see the guy at the counter again instead of Nami. He may be a bit annoyed because he knows he will get interrupted after two hours of work, but he's not at all surprised by the fact the guy is there anymore. Law hasn't brought his computer this time, and instead his backpack is full of books and notes that he has already written when he was at home. He has no exact reason to be there actually, as he doesn't need internet for the work that he needs to get done and his apartment is sure as hell quieter and more comfortable. And yet he's still there, sat on his own and private corner with his coffee mug already half drank, carefully positioned in between two piles of notes of medical genetics. Law could hear the guy going in and out of the kitchen every five minutes, sometimes being quick and bringing new baked goods to put on display while others he ends up taking more time and comes back still chewing something, his cheeks and hair white with flour, the coffee shop being quiet and without having customers to attend, therefore the guy basically just needing to come out from the kitchen whenever the bell tingles and to make sure everything is alright.

Law finds it hard to concentrate on the papers in front of him then, and it doesn't take long for him to start filling frustrated, it probably being reflected on his face if the sympathetic smiles the old lady sat in the table next to him are anything to go by. So, by the time he sees the guy making coffee when there's no one in line and then choosing something that Law can't see from the display to put on a blue small plate with already a note on, Law couldn't feel more relieved. He sees the guy doing his way around the counter then and makes some space among all the notes spread on top of the table for him to be able to put the food on, then leans against his chair and waits for him to come, his arms crossed him from his chest.

"Taking a break?" The guy asks when he's close enough for Law to be able to hear him talk without it being too loud to disturb the other customers.

"Yeah, I guess," Law says and watches as the guy puts the plate in front of him and switches his empty mug for the full one. "So what am I eating against my will today?"

The guy actually laughs at that, softly. "Well, it's Caramelized Macadamia Camembert. It's brand new, just came out of the kitchen," he explains, holding the empty mug with both of his hands in front of his chest. "And I don't remember ever making you eat against your will. I wouldn't do such a thing."

"Don't play dumb, you know it would be hard for me to resist," Law says, leaning to the table, and the guy just snorts in response. He brings the plate closer to him and takes the note out so he can eat without dirtying it. He puts it carefully next to the book he was taking notes from, just for the guy not to think he's dismissing it completely. He will read it when the guy is back on the other side of the counter. "So, you're telling me I'm the guinea pig?"

"More or less, yeah. Nojiko likes to hear criticism on her food, not the bad ones though," the guy says and smiles sheepishly, but frowning momentarily with the last part.

"And doesn't that make my day," Law mumbles sarcastically and then proceeds to try the cheese in front of him. It's weird if he thinks about it, after all, he was just there, burning his brain off with genetics, and then the barista brings him a well-ornamented plate where the principal ingredient is cheese, but, well, it does taste amazing and the caramel on top gives the cheese a bittersweet flavor that actually works well. "You can tell her it's good."

"Yeah?" The guy basically beams, making Law to want to beat the shit out of him for all the energy and excitement his body is irradiating. "Good, okay I will tell her that, hum-" he stops, motioning vaguely with one hand.

"Law," he says before taking one more bite and fighting a smirk from taking over his mouth in the process.

"- you liked, yeah that," the guy says and bites his bottom lip, hard. His eyes are all shiny and his cheeks are flushed, and it's weird and mesmerizing at the same time. The guy then takes a few tentative steps back, Law's empty coffee mug still being firmly held in between his hands. "I'm gonna tell her and- I'm Luffy by the way," he adds, awkwardly.

Law nods and watches as the guy, or Luffy apparently, does his way back to behind the counter where he was supposed to be in the first place and then proceeds to enter the kitchen, to tell said sister about Law's opinion probably. Law finishes his food minutes later and starts working again, he decides to ignore the fact that Luffy only comes out of the kitchen when the sound of another customer entering Bell-mere's can be heard and, by that time, he's even more flushed and his hair is in such a mess that Law wonders if he and Nami's sister were making out in the kitchen. He doesn't let his mind wander for long though, because it's in that same kitchen where the baked goods he's been eating lately are made, and so he prefers to think that nothing happens there.

He leaves not long after and avoids looking at Luffy's face as he puts the money in the tip jar like he always does. He sticks the piece of paper where it can be read,  ** _Hey I camembert the last time I saw someone as focused on something as youre in your papers to be honest_** , inside of one of his books before shoving it inside of his backpack.

.

.

.

The next time Law enters the Bell-mere's, it's been three days and he's way more than pissed off with his life and the world in general. He hasn't slept the night before and has already told Shachi and Penguin to go fuck themselves more times than usual. He orders a bottle of water just because he needs to order something if he wants to be sat there and not really because he needs it, and Luffy just looks at him with a weird look because, of course, he's there again, of fucking course.

"So, you don't want anything else?" Luffy asks, confused, after handing him the bottle that Law is almost sure he won't even drink. Law doesn't respond and just hands him the money. "Okay, so we have new things today," he tries again, his voice sounding unsure, "anything you might want in two hours?"

"No, I don't want anything more than this," Law grunts, shaking the water bottle in front of Luffy's face, just to make the guy understand better. Law knows he's being a douche but he couldn't care less. "And I don't even know, I mean, why do you keep insisting on put food in front of me?" He snaps before going to his corner, hopefully irradiating enough bad vibes to everyone stay the hell away from him.

Luffy doesn't say anything more, but Law can feel him staring and that only pisses him off even more. He contemplates the idea of going somewhere else, another coffee shop where the coffee may not be that good but where the ambiance and internet are tolerable enough. Coffee is not his priority today, not when he already drank way more than what he should've for the day, hell for the whole goddamn week. He knows his bad mood is a combination of the lack of sleep, stress and the coffee addiction that he knows he already has, but there's nothing much he can do right now other than try to resist the urge of ordering a coffee and be stuck with a bad headache for the rest of the day. He opens his computer and starts doing his researches and taking notes that he can order later on once he gets home.

His bad mood gets better as the times passes by productively and he even drinks a bit of the water he brought just for the sake of it. He feels a slightly bad then, when his mind reminds him more often than not of how much of a douche he was to Luffy when all he was doing was his job, and so Law decides he will apologize to him when he has to leave.

Only, he doesn't. Because Luffy comes to him first, even though Law shook the bottle of water in front of him like a lunatic and stated he did not want anything else other than that. Once again, Law doesn't see him coming, only notices him when the guy is right there, moving away some of the books so he can put a plate and a mug on top of the table without ruining anything. Law stares at him as he does so, without helping him, and stares at him some more when he walks away without saying anything, his face black and with no expression for Law to be able to read.

This time there's no coffee inside of the mug, it instead being filled with what Law assumes is tea, something he's actually thankful for, while on the plate there's nothing more than a good looking crepe with a single orange peel for decoration. Law wants to smile then, because Luffy seemed to have ignored all the shit he had said, but he also wants to scream and punch the wall for the exact same reason.

Law turns his computer into suspension and puts it aside, then grabs the small yellow paper before anything else and reads it, the want to smile what it says taking over his want to scream and punch.

**_You didnt let me answer your question before so, yeah I guess the reason Im doing this is cause Im a crepe. And Im also annoying and insufferable most of the time, but apparently so are you so can we get oolong?_ **

Law eats the crepe and drinks the tea. He looks in Luffy's direction more times than what he wants to admit but the guy never looks back in his direction, too busy taking orders of a big group of tourists that decided to enter. Law watches as he seems to have some issues understanding their orders, but a huge grin never leaves his mouth and the group formed by a majority of old ladies seem to be delighted with the joy and the energy he constantly irradiates. It's a cute image to see while sipping a cup of tea actually.

When the whole group is served and sat, occupying the opposite corner where Law seats, Luffy has the break he seems to be needing. He grins in the group's direction before turning his head to Law, who has only been looking at him the whole time, even after he finished his crepe and tea, which is ridiculous really, he has work he needs to get done.

Luffy's grin fades a bit when he catches Law staring at him, only to come again in full force when Law waves at him awkwardly.

Law hopes that counts as some sort of an apology.

.

.

.

It takes Law a whole week to see Luffy again behind the counter with his stained uniform and a way too big smile on his face to be considered normal. Law knows quite a few people who would think the guy is just being overly polite, but it's not like the opinion of those people really matter to him, after all, Law is almost sure that fucking smile -or grin, or smirk, or whatever the hell the guy's mouth decides to twitch into- isn't faked. Well, that or the guy should be fucking working in Hollywood instead of working in a place where it doesn't matter how friendly or professional at doing said job one is, there will be just those customers coming in every once in awhile that bitch about everything, just because they're frustrated and stressed about something and want to release anger on someone they don't know. Figures.

Not that Law is saying that the guy is a professional at what he does, because he isn't. Sure, he can handle those weird looking coffee machines that look like fucking train engines and talks to everybody as if talking to a close friend, which makes the ambiance of the Bell-mere's a lot nicer, but he's also way too clumsy, even though he keeps insisting on carrying three or more plates full of pastries on top of his hands, talks way too much even though he probably just met the person he's talking to in that exact same moment, and Law always sees him chewing whenever he leaves the kitchen, which is every five minutes if there isn't a line that needs to be attended. Not only every five minutes, as Law has also seen him picking up pastries every now and then from the display when he thinks no one is watching and he always bends to pretend to pick up something from the floor so he can eat without being seen. The guy may be a good actor, but he sure as hell isn't discreet.

Plus, he still does that weird thing where he just puts food in front of Law without saying anything and practically forces him to eat with just a pointed look between Law and the food, like some old grandma feeding her skinny little grandchildren, and it happens  _every_  time the guy is behind the counter, which has been more often than not, aside from the past week where Law actually had a break and decided to save some money and sleep instead of drugging his sleep-deprived brain with caffeine. Anyway, Law's sure there must be some kind of rule that states how anyone that works in a place that serves food is prohibited to force people into eating their shit. There must be, so no, not professional at all.

And speaking of breaks, Law's not entirely sure why he's sitting in his corner spot at Bell-mere's right now. He guesses it may have been instinctual since he's so used to coming in almost every day, but he suspects the headache that has accumulated on his brain due to the lack of caffeine during the week, because he actually slept more than five hours straight per night and didn't need help to stay awake, is the most probable cause of that involuntary act instead of his regularity as a customer.

He hasn't brought his computer though, and he's not exactly in the mood to grab one of the books that are inside of his backpack and start writing notes for the future college shit he doesn't want to acknowledge is coming, so he decides to use his phone and the eighty-five percent of battery it has to do some random searches on the internet, since it's not like he has other things better to do and so his options are really just to screw around on his phone or stare at Luffy from his place as the guy fights to remain calm while one very rude old lady talks nonstop about how this place used to be a good store where she usually bought her favorite fruit before two crazy women, also known as Nami and her sister, decided to turn it into the coffee shop it is today. It's kind of hilarious to see actually, considering the old lady barely stands taller than the counter and, since Luffy isn't that tall either, he basically has to lay on top of it while explaining to her how the crazy women are actually the daughters of said store's owner and so they have full permission to do whatever the hell they want to do with the place. The old lady does not look impressed by his explanation and leaves muttering about how kids these days have too much audacity towards elderly people.

Law doesn't know why, but he feels a bit, well, uncomfortable, when Luffy catches him staring at the lady leaving and just shrugs as if responding to a question that Law didn't ask, as if saying that he also has no idea of what the fuck just happened. And Law feels stupid for it then, he was supposed to be searching randomly, not staring, but it wasn't like everyone else inside the coffee shop wasn't staring either. So he proceeds to focus his attention on the phone he's holding between his hands and proceeds to ignore everyone around him.

Two hours later, Law isn't sure when exactly he had finished drinking his coffee or why he ended up reading some serious philosophical shit about the ethics of organ transplantation and opening a total of sixteen tabs about the subject, but at some point he came back to reality, just in time to catch putting the plate and another coffee mug in front of him without being caught off guard. The guy heads back to his place behind the counter with Law's empty coffee mug before Law can try to persuade him to stop bringing him food he hasn't ordered and to take the plate back with him, although he knows it would've been useless since the guy would most likely ignore him for the fiftieth time, but at least Law could've said he tried. And anyway, isn't the client always right? Yep, not professional at all.

He grabs the mug and sips, the coffee is hot and, if the inside of his mouth and his throat weren't used to hot as lava kind of coffee by now, he would've probably burned his tongue or something. He glares at the two small cake squares with yellow cream and orange sections on top for some good five minutes, hoping the plate could just disappear if he tried hard enough, and then sighs heavily when nothing happens, bringing the plate closer. He swears he's fatter, he feels heavier every time he stands from whatever surface he was sitting on, and all the goddamn blame is on Luffy, and Law sure as hell will blame him too if he becomes diabetic.

Law may be succumbing to insanity or maybe is the sugar inside of his system, but he has started doing this thing where he eats whatever Luffy puts on the plate for him before he reads the yellow paper because he actually enjoys trying to figure out what word related to the food of the day must be written on it. He damn knows he's succumbing to insanity, and he sure as hell will blame Luffy yet again if he ends up in an asylum. Anyway, if he ignores how insane and stupid the little game he has come up with mentally and that no one else will ever hear about is, it can turn out to be two things, or he guesses the word in a blink of an eye without even trying and high fives himself mentally after he reads the paper and finds he's right, or it ends up being incredibly, ridiculously hard to guess and he has to give up and read the paper to know what the hell was the ingredient he didn't guess.

This time though, the word seems obvious since the cakes squares practically scream 'orange' from afar. Sure, there could be some hidden ingredient that Law's tasting capacity didn't catch, like that one time when the fucking word was thyme, like how the hell should he had guessed that if the thing was mixed with the fucking cake batter, it's not like he's a fucking master chief. So, when he grabs the yellow paper and sees that he has won his own game, he snickers.

**_Orange your eyes like super tired? I mean dont get me wrong but or you stare at your computer or at your phone and you look tired._ **

But he still stares at it for way longer than what is probably necessary, only this time he isn't trying to make the paper disappear, he's just, well confused. He has slept more during the week than what he probably has for two years, he's rested, even his fucking eyes are puffed due to the abnormal amount of time he has slept over the past few days. Sure, he still doesn't have proper sleeping levels, hell, he would need to fucking hibernate for that to happen, but still.

If Luffy can't see how well-rested Law is, well then his eyes are the ones that are tired.

He hears the bell jingling and, as he looks up to see if he knows the face of the person since he had become quite familiar with the other regulars like him, he's surprised to see the small old lady back again and, by Luffy's expression once he comes out of the kitchen, he's surprised too. Law wonders why the woman is back, if she came back just to argue then or she's annoyingly persistent or she suffers from Alzheimer.

Law looks at Luffy then, who is already in his position behind the register with a big toothy grin splashed across his face, as if in whatever epic battle that happened between the two of them he ended up winning victoriously. The old lady starts making her way towards him, taking her time, but it's not like there's anyone other than her that's going to order. He hears her demanding "surprise me young man", which somehow manages to make Luffy's grin grow brighter before she goes and sits at a nearby empty table right next to the counter where she can observe Luffy doing his job, her judging expression not even slightly hidden under all her wrinkles. That attitude gets a little under Law's nerves, but Luffy seems unaffected by it as he proceeds to carefully study the pastries on display before he grabs a purple-colored cream cake and cuts a slice.

Moments later, the old lady has the plate and a teacup in front of her. She glares at it for a couple of minutes until she finally moves closer, as if studying a rare object and then, well, she just digs in and looks surprised that the cake does taste as good as it looks, if not better. For a moment, Law wonders if that was his expression when, just a couple of weeks back, Luffy first put food on top of his table and confused the hell of out him. And the cup of tea, Law knows that cup, has received one himself not long ago. What was the name of the tea again? Oolong or something.

Law doesn't really think much about how he just puts the name of the tea in the damn google search bar of his phone, because hell it has to have some meaning, and he's only mildly annoyed to find out it helps with the stress management.

She doesn't receive a yellow paper though, which Law is somehow pleased about, it makes him feel important.

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Two days later, it's a good and sunny day outside. He passes by two tourist buses parked in the park right beside Cocoyashi street and, when he enters through Bell-merè's door, he's surprised to see the ridiculous amount of people that have actually managed to fit inside the place. The line to the register is the longest Law has ever seen since he chose the coffee shop as his go-to so far, and Law literally enters and almost hits the last person with the door. Ridiculous.

To make things worse, his little corner is occupied by a green-haired punk and a woman whose face sure as hell seems familiar, Law just doesn't know from where. He decides to stay on the line then, waiting for them to leave so he can sprint and dump all his shit on top of his table as a clear signal of already occupied for anyone that gets the idea of sit there. That action will force him to leave the line and will probably throw him to the end of it again, but at least he knows he will have a place to sit after he receives his order, which the other people waiting won't be able to say the same.

However, the line moves forward pretty quickly and they don't seem to be heading out anytime soon, looking like they will probably stay there for a good amount of time even, much to Law's displeasure. He starts glaring at them then, hoping that if he puts enough power in his glare they will turn their attention towards him and maybe get scared and just leave his damn spot, but neither of them even glance in his direction, no matter how hard he glares, how hard he frowns or how hard he hits with his foot on the floor, they just seem too fucking focused on drooling and gossiping about whoever is behind the counter, which can only be Nami or Luffy.

He contemplates the idea of just go there and tell them to fuck off, but that would be rude and Law isn't a rude person, most of the time at least, and if Nami is the one behind the counter, he doubts she would ever let him in again if he ever does force someone to move from his corner spot and go sit somewhere else. He wonders how much it would cost him to make a deal with Nami to reserve that spot as his and his only, at least for the two hours that he usually spends there. And then he remembers that he's in college and can barely keep afloat with all his life savings and that Nami would probably say yes and then ask for a small fortune.

When the absurdly tall guy that stands in front of him decides to give up and go somewhere else, a wise action those two little shits should follow, Law can see who's behind the counter without making a fool out of himself trying to look sideways. He's surprised to see both Luffy and Nami working together, mostly because it's the first time it happens as far as Law is concerned, but that is actually the only explanation as to why the line is moving so fast so he shouldn't be.

At that moment, as Law is barely in the middle of the line, he can almost imagine what had happened. One of them being behind the counter, all alone and without any further customers to attend, then and out of a blue, a big wave of people talking in a very angry sounding language just appears and splits itself between the three coffee shops of the street. He can imagine Nami sending text after text to Luffy demanding help as the first customer does their way to the counter, can imagine her rising from her fancy high chair to start doing the orders as fast as it was humanly possible to not lose customers to the competition, and he can also imagine Luffy's case, him coming out from the kitchen with his mouth full as the sound of the door's bell fills the place, only to go back inside and tell Nojiko to call Nami for help. He would harshly swallow whatever was inside of his mouth until he could grin without having cake decorations on his teeth and then proceed to try to figure out the customers' orders.

Law is pulled out of his imagination when the chick behind him, probably not older than Luffy, shoves him with her elbow, and as soon a he turns around to glare at her, he receives a few rounds of  _Oh my god I'm so sorry I didn't mean to!_. He rolls his eyes and proceeds to ignore her, looking back at the counter where Nami is taking orders with her polite smile and her perfectly applied makeup. She opens the cash register and takes care of the money like she was born for it and then repeats the orders in her usual demanding tone to a way too busy Luffy so that he can make them in his usual speed light.

However, in contrast to Nami's perfect figure, it's Luffy, with his air looking like a dark birds' nest, having coffee stains and what appears to be chocolate covering most of the front part of his uniform. It's only when he has his back turned that Law can see how tense his shoulders actually are, and it's when he's picking something from the almost empty display that Law can see his small frown and his colored cheeks like he's trying hard to focus and not forget anything from the orders Nami just keeps on demanding. A blue-haired woman then emerges from the kitchen with her arms full of diabetic nightmares and fills the display once more before returning to the kitchen and Law, never seeing her before, guesses she must be Nami's sister, Nojiko. Said sister that prepares the pastries that Law has been forced to eat and that makes out or does what God knows what with Luffy every time the coffee shop is mostly empty.

He then looks at his spot again and dammit, those fuckers are still there, giggling not so discretely and gossiping with one another. He realizes then that they're most likely talking about Luffy, considering that their eyes follow every move of the guy and he wonders if that attention is what is making Luffy uncomfortable and flushed.

In the end, Law's time to order arrives sooner than expected and his spot is still occupied. Nami doesn't try to coerce him into buying a pastry when he orders the strongest coffee to go because they both know it's a lost cause and there are impatient customers behind him that need to be attended. Nami gives him a sympathetic smile after telling him to step aside and wait for his order because she knows his spot is occupied and still doesn't do anything about said fact. Aren't regular customers the VIPs of coffee shops? Shouldn't they be treated with love, affection, and empty seats? Apparently not.

When Luffy turns around to give Law his order, his face changes into an expression of recognition of Law's pissed off face, because he's sure as hell pissed off, and then he looks between Law and his coffee  _to go_  and he pouts slightly, his face turning into a confused one. And Law, well, he responds with a head movement towards his occupied spot like the pissed off Neanderthal that he is, Luffy following his not so vague head movement and immediately looking away, giving Law his order with his cheeks way redder than before.

Luffy moves to the next order because he has work he needs to do and Law is practically shoved aside by the guy that was apparently behind him in line, the other girl must've given up too. Law leaves then and, for the first time since Luffy started taking his order, he exits the Bell-mere's door with an empty stomach, craving for sugar and without a yellow paper between the sheets of one of his books.

He walks down the Cocoyashi street and then randomly chooses between the two coffee shops at the end of it, mostly because he also has work that he needs to get done. He ends up entering a weird looking one and goes put all is shit in a nearby table before he heads towards the counter to order something to eat. The place has a few tourists too, but nothing compared to Bell-mere's and Law is immediately attended without having to wait in any line. He receives an unimpressed glare from the barista due to the fact that there is a coffee cup from the competition among all his things on top of the table, and Law glares back at him for a bit before ordering a blue cupcake from the display and asking for the WiFi password. Turns out the unimpressed face from the barista can actually turn into an even more unimpressed one that doesn't suit his face one slight bit, instead only makes him look way uglier and unwelcoming, making it not surprising to as why the place only has a few customers.

He sits and works for two hours, as usual, drinks his coffee and eats half of the cupcake because it wasn't anything near Bell-mere's quality ones and he tells himself that he doesn't feel guilty for ordering a pastry in another coffee shop.

It's only when he's about to leave that he realizes how rudely he demanded the cupcake he didn't even completely eat in the end, and that he must've been that customer that releases all the frustration, anger and stress in the poor barrister that, even though he wasn't the nicest person either, had nothing to do with Law's problems.

.

.

.

The next day, Law is back, and both Luffy and Nami are behind the counter again, even though there is no line forming the wall of China today. He doesn't think twice before he dumps all his shit on top of his table located on his spot, he will not risk it this time, even though he would have to be pretty unlucky if anyone actually sat there while he was ordering, considering most of the tables are empty. When he's making his way to the register, he notices Nami staring at him funny and Luffy looking like he's trying hard to suppress a grin. He glares at them both, only because they're traitors that, for some reason, he keeps on choosing over all the other baristas.

"Hello there my dear happy customer, what can I sell you today?" Nami asks at her place by the register, her voice filled with sarcasm.

"You know what I want," Law responds simply, making her sigh dramatically and roll her eyes hard. Next to her, Luffy snickers, but Law doubts Nami has heard, otherwise she would most likely glare at him in return.

"Oh come on! Don't you want anything with your coffee? We have new things today, delicious things may I add," Nami says and points to the display that Law still refuses to look. He won't fall for that, that's salesman basic shit, making you look at good looking things so your desire to buy and consume increases to the point of their satisfaction. Law crosses his arms in front of his chest in protest, refusing to break eye contact. One has to be persistent and firm to deal with this kind of people, otherwise, they will just keep on trying to sell you everything they have. When Nami realizes Law isn't going to look at the display, at least not in her presence, she sighs again, this time a defeated kind of one. "Do you know how bad it is for you to drink coffee this strong without any food along with?"

"Don't care," Law responds before turning his attention to Luffy that seems pleased to know he's the only one that can force him to eat, "just make me the damn coffee."

"Still don't know what's with your attitude," Nami mutters and her polite smile and friendly expression are suddenly gone. That, ladies and gentleman, is how Law knows he just won the food battle, and also that, dear future customers of Bell-mere's, is how you're going to be treated if you end up going there a bunch of times and show Nami you will still come no matter how badly she treats you.

"Still don't know why you keep on insisting on forcing me to buy your damn cupcakes," he says in the same bitter tone. Luffy hands him his coffee and he takes it, then starting doing his way to his table, feeling pleased with the thought that he just won two battles in a row with Nami.

"Still don't know why you insist on using that hat either," Nami says, loudly enough for everyone inside the Bell-mere's to look at him and judge both him and his hat. Such a party pooper.

Law doesn't respond, he knows it must look like he doesn't have anything to say back but that's not the case, not at all, he just doesn't want to encourage such childish behavior. Instead, he turns his computer on and starts doing the work he didn't finish the day before because the internet of the other coffee shop was ridiculously shitty. He types fast and writes notes and tries to stay focus on the words on his computer screen and not on the conversation that is being held between Luffy and Nami not far away from him because he is not a nosy person, he just happens to hear most of the conversation anyway, but he tried not to and it's not like he carries earplugs around with him.

He ends up learning that Nami and Luffy are childhood friends, that a guy named Zoro got drunk the other night and that it apparently happens quite often, that one Sanji guy keeps flirting with Nami even though she isn't and never will be into him, and that Luffy apparently has a dog named Chopper that lives with him and his brother Ace, who just destroyed their new microwave again while trying to make popcorn.

Come to think of it, Law does pay attention to the conversation, but that's their fault, not his, they talk way too loudly for anyone to consider the conversation private. He doesn't know how the information he unintentionally heard may be important, or how he can judge Luffy and Nami as people based on their friends behavior, so he decides it doesn't matter and proceeds to push it all the way to the back of his brain, to a corner where there isn't anything that may be important to Law's exams.

When Law finishes his work and closes his computer, he intends on leaving right away so he can at least try to fix the mess he lives in, but then he sees his empty and alone coffee mug and he knows he's craving for something sweet, so he decides that maybe he'll try one of those delicious new things Nami talked about, but there is absolutely no way in hell he is going to be the one ordering it. It would be like declaring defeat after facing Nami as well as he did. So he looks in Luffy's direction and tries to subtly catch his attention without catching Nami's instead. He should've brought a pastry and another mug by now, two hours had already passed and Law is still there with nothing aside from his empty coffee mug in front of him.

 _Not professional_.

Law stares and stares even harder but the power of his eyes seems to be fading away since every time he stares or glares at someone they just seem unaffected by it or won't even notice. He wonders if that's is due to the ridiculous amount of sugar in his system.

_Not professional._

Nami is sat near the register, in the high chair that Luffy certainly doesn't have available when he's alone behind the counter, and Luffy is in front of her, talking excitedly and with a lot of hand movements. Law can only see his face beside Nami's head but if Law can see his eyes then Luffy can see his too, so he brings one arm up and starts waving slowly, trying to catch only Luffy's attention and not the whole place's, and that actually does the trick as Luffy's eyes connect with his, although he doesn't stop talking.

He then wonders if Nami knows what her only employee is been doing lately. She probably doesn't since money is involved and she sure as hell would throw a childish tantrum if she knew Luffy is giving him free food, even though Law always puts enough money to pay for everything inside of the tip jar, but it's not like that money goes to the register so that means a loss. Law makes a hand gesture that he hopes Luffy will get as  _where is my food at_ and the guy suddenly grins widely and that of course catches Nami's attention, who turns around like the girl from Exorcist and glares at him for no good reason. What a way to be subtle.

Law, like the genius he is, decides to disguise and pretend to be writing something on his computer. Only, his computer is in front of him closed and he ends up making a fool out of himself. When Law looks towards the counter again, he notices Luffy laughing hard and Nami looking at him with a blank expression and wide opened eyes that mess with Law system more than what any facial expression as ever done, and he has seen some weird facial expressions during his short life, considering he's friends with Shachi and Penguin.

"What the hell does he want?" Nami asks- no, demands, quite loudly, like Law can't hear her perfectly fine. Law sees Luffy stop laughing and looking at her, he bites his lip like he's unsure of something.

Luffy goes inside the kitchen and comes back with a blue plate and grabs something yellow-colored from the display. He starts making his coffee and then writes the usual pun because, even though Nami must be drilling holes on his head with just her eyes, some things never change. He then makes his usual way towards Law and Nami's head turns to follow him. She looks nothing more than purely confused and a bit shocked and maybe slightly offended.

"You must be suicidal to still force me to eat with the witch watching," Law mutters as soon as Luffy is close enough, receiving a grin in response. Law almost laughs then, not because of Luffy, but because of the red-haired woman that he can see in the background behind Luffy, looking at both of them like they're aliens and just crashed her coffee shop with their spacial ship.

"Well, these macaroons sure are to die for," Luffy responds with a grin and puts the plate on top of his closed computer, right in front of him. He switches the empty mug for a full one again and stands there, awkwardly, pretending to not be feeling Nami's stare that is starting to turn more into a glare by now. Law wonders if she as put two and two together by now, she's not dumb after all. "Besides, you did order this time."

"I don't remember saying a word," Law teases because why not, if the guy is going to get murdered once he goes back behind the counter, Law may as well have some fun with his still living body, as weird as that may have sounded.

"But you did hand gestures, the same thing for me," Luffy says and winks dramatically before his face changes and he comes closer, his left hand cupping his mouth, "and since you ordered it, you'll have to pay for it this time. You know, not in the tip jar but at the register, yeah?"

"And why should I do that again?" Law asks and shoves all his books inside of his backpack so he can have some more clean space. He was never a fan of disorganization, mostly because it makes him more stressed, even with everything in his life being a messy pile of shit.

"Because I'm a wonderful person and I do like living."

Yes, Law bets he does. "I'll think about it."

Luffy nods in response and gives him one final smile before starting to do his way back towards Nami, already standing on her feet, arms crossed firmly underneath her breasts. Luffy continues to walk to the counter, but his last steps are cautious and he sure as hell looks tense again as Nami grabs his arm and practically drags him inside the kitchen, Law not knowing how the mug Luffy was holding didn't fall in the process.

He waits for them to come out again but, after three minutes of weird noises and hissed voices that Law can't understand coming from the kitchen, he gets tired and decides to focus on his macaroons instead. He's sure Luffy will be alright, maybe a bit traumatized, but he will survive. Probably.

The macaroons look funny but delicious. They're a vibrant shade of yellow and have small bits of popcorn on top. When he bites one, the flavor of popcorn and butter fills his mouth and it's surprisingly good, considering the whole idea behind it. He guesses the word may be popcorn or corn. Only, it isn't but yeah, close enough.

**_Dont listen to Namis fashion advices, I think your hat is a-maize-ing._ **

As if Law would ever follow or be affected by them really.

In the end, and after ten or so minutes, he gets tired of waiting and pays to a shocked looking Nojiko that looks at him and waits for him to order, only he's there to pay. She then looks at him funny when he just gives her enough money to pay the Buttered Popcorn Macaroons and the coffee Luffy had brought him. That look always gets under his nerve because he can sense she knows something he doesn't and it is the same fucking look Shachi and Nami have constantly splashed across their faces, but he just tells her that her food is delicious before he leaves, and it's awkward as hell. She has no fault really, she was forced to come out of the kitchen because since someone has to take care of the customers, Nami and Luffy certainly not doing their job properly.

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.

As the finals come closer and closer, the tenser, sleepier and in a worse bad mood Law gets, but it's not like it's his fault really. The fault is on the lack of sleep, the bad fast food he's been eating lately because it saves him a lot of time if he just buys it, and let's not forget that his brain is constantly working which is overly exhausting, to say the least. But, as Shachi says,  _let's look at the bright side of it all, in two weeks, they'll be officially on spring break!_

And the "they" are obviously the few ones that can manage to survive and keep sane, and Law's sure neither him or Shachi belong to that group of survivors anymore, they will just die as juniors.

So yeah, he's tense and tired and he sure misses that amazing week he just had where he could actually sleep and eat well and be productive without killing his brain cells, it seems like it's been ages since then. He spends most of his time inside of Bell-mere's now, getting fatter and more addicted to caffeine every day that passes. It was supposed to be spring already outside, or at least the start of springtime, with flowers blooming and sunlight warming everyone, but it sure looks more like winter than anything else, with all kinds of humidity and storms that come and go in one day.

His apartment is a mess where he can barely even see the floor with the number of papers and books that are spread, he has to do the laundry as soon as he can manage or he will have to start using dirty clothes, he has to take the trash outside and he has to change the bedsheets and he basically needs his brain to stop worrying about daily shit so he can fall asleep.

The clock on top of his bedside table tells him it's half past five in the afternoon. If it was any other day, he would be at Bell-mere's, filling his stomach with a combination of caffeine and sugar, burning his eyes with his computer screen and frying his brain with way too much information in one go, but he was too damn tired and couldn't bring himself to make the effort to go and sit for two hours in the same seat until his ass was squared shaped or numb. Instead, he had decided to go to bed and sleep until he had to go for another round of endless classes in the morning, but, obviously, his brain had decided to make a not so quick checklist of all the things he has to do and Shachi, being the annoying ass he is, started sending him non-stopping texts that Law didn't read and calling every two minutes because the guy isn't smart enough to realize he's trying to ignore him. Law had even thrown away his phone after putting it in silent mode didn't resolve the problem and Shachi just kept on insisting. It wasn't vibrated since then though, but that's probably because it broke when it hit the floor and not because Shachi put two and two together and decided to go annoy another person.

He has been having a hard time falling asleep lately and, by the time he actually does fall asleep, it only lasts some good twenty minutes before hard knocks on his front door disturb and wake him up again. He decides to ignore the door the same way he did with his phone because he's sure the person on the other side is no other than fucking Shachi, but, after five minutes, he's fully awake and in an even worse mood than what he was before he went to sleep. Worst than not let him sleep, is wake him up before he's at least half rested.

"It better fucking be the fucking end of the world," Law mutters under his breath as he makes his way towards his front door. He takes heavy and loud steps as he does so and he really does hope the people that live below him were taking a nap too and that he just woke them up, since those fuckers make way too much noise at night and they're lucky Law has never seen them in person, otherwise, they would've been murdered by now.

He opens the door without even checking, that's how sure he is that it's Shachi, and glares at him harder than what he has ever done in his life.

"Yo, Law!" Shachi beams and grins on the other side and God, doesn't he want to punch the hell out of him right now, to break his nose and throw him down the staircase so he can break his neck too.

"What the fuck do you want?" Law demands, but he sounds way too sleepy even to his own ears so it doesn't have the desired effect, which is to make Shachi go the fuck away and leave him alone.

"Oh, nothing much," he says as he brushes Law aside so he can enter his apartment. He does his way to the couch and lies on it like he fucking owns the place, with his shoes still on his feet and all. Law doesn't remember ever telling him to feel at home, not to him or to anyone for that matter, his apartment is not anyone else's, it's his own and his own only. Law closes the door harder than he should've, and then follows him, but he just stands with his hands grabbing the back of the couch, glaring down at Shachi.

"Just wanted to make sure you were alright since you never texted or called me back, which, by the way, is harsh man," Shachi says, putting his hand on his chest dramatically before turning on the TV with the controller that Law had lost almost two weeks ago. How and where the guy had found it, Law doesn't know.

Law sighs, loudly and heavily, on purpose so Shachi can hear just how annoyed he is right now, but he ignores it the same way he has been ignoring the glares. Not that it would make much difference if he didn't really, but still, Law doesn't get why Shachi always ignores the fact that he's ignoring him, like he's doing right now. The guy has a hard time realizing when he's unwanted.

"I'm fine so you can get the fuck out of my apartment now."

"Yeah, you're fine, but your mood sure isn't," Shachi says, rolling his eyes. Law wonders exactly how much time it would take for someone to notice the guy is gone if he just killed him right here, right now with his bare hands and then proceeded to get rid of the body with sulfuric acid.

"Look, Shachi, I don't know what the fuck you want, but I'm exhausted and I was sleeping so it would be awesome if you could leave me the fuck alone."

"Oh, did I wake you up?" Shachi says and looks up at him.

Law is having a hard time keeping a straight face and suppressing his anger from building up. "What do you think?"

"Sorry about that," he responds, but he doesn't look sorry at all, which only makes Law sigh and get more frustrated with the kind of friends he's been hanging with. The reason why he surrounds himself with such stupid people is still a mystery to him. "But it's not like it's my fault! You could've sent a simple text saying 'sleeping' or something, but no. I was worried."

"I was ignoring you, you stupid!" Law says, bitterly, and Shachi looks scandalized for a moment before his attention is turned back to the TV once more. Law decides then that it's pointless to try to make Shachi get out, even if that is what he wants the most.

So instead, he grabs Shachi's legs and takes them off the couch so he can sit next to him. He won't be falling asleep so soon, hell, he probably won't fall asleep at night either because that's just how fucked up his brain is, so he may as well have company, and thank God said company has his mouth shut and is watching a show Law has never heard about in his life in a channel he didn't know he even had. But the show is actually kind of interesting, a bit way over-sexualized, but still interesting, something about weird and funny ways that people can die in a very detailed and graphic way. The bad part of it though is that it's over too soon, and that means Shachi's mouth will start working again and he's probably going to ramble about something that Law has absolutely no interest on like he always does. His headache is going to be harder to handle and will torture his brain way more. Shachi starts talking about the death he thought was the best in the episode, that Law doesn't agree with, and it somehow turns into a slightly traumatizing dream Shachi has had in his teenage years and it's only in the end that he says what had brought him to Law's apartment in the first place. It takes longer than what Law had expected, considering that it's Shachi he's talking about.

"So yeah, you're coming with me, and Penguin, and Jean to this party and you're going to relax for the first time in your life and have fun with us."

"Okay, first of all," Law starts, putting one lifted finger in front of Law's face that just rolls his eyes, but doesn't interrupt him. "I went to parties before, it isn't going to be the first time in my life, and you know that. And second of all, I won't go."

Shachi frowns at that and crosses his arms in front of his chest probably, trying to be somewhat intimidating but failing miserably once his mouth turns into a small pout, like a child. "Oh come on! You're no fun! Why not?"

This can't be his luck, it just can't. Nobody's that stupid. "Did you miss the part where you woke me up because I was exhausted and sleeping?"

"Exactly, you were! You're not anymore, so it's okay! Also, the party is not in five minutes so you still have time to take like four naps like the old man you are!" Shachi insists and sits up, his legs folded underneath him. Law could easily strangle him right now. "Please- Don't make me bring Penguin and Jean here to help me coerce you!"

"I think you mean to force me, not coerce," Law says. He doesn't get why Shachi is insisting so much. It's been three goddamn years since he started insisting on bringing Law with him to every single party that always happen to be at very inconvenient times and that Law had no interest whatsoever in going, and this one is no exception. Normally, he gives up after a few nods and glares from Law but today though, he's insisting too much, even for a pushy person like him, and that can only mean one thing.

"You want me to be the driver, don't you?" Law says in the most death tone he can manage at the moment and he hopes that it along with a hopefully blank expression will show Shachi just how much he doesn't want to go.

"Yeah?" He asks, uncertain. He better fucking be uncertain right now. "Look, you know Monet? We share a bunch of classes?" Law looks at him, trying to think, but he has no idea who that girl might be, he has never heard her name before, or at least never paid enough attention to memorize it, but Shachi must've thought his silence meant that he knows her, or it isn't that important if he knows her or not, because he just keeps ongoing. "Well she's throwing this party, a huge party may I add, and rumors say there will be a good amount of alcohol and drugs. I really want to try those candies out, you know. But I'm not stupid, I want someone responsible for being in charge of me and my car, like you! Jean and Penguin will appreciate that too."

"Then you guys better find another responsible person, because I'm not going," Law says and turns off the TV when the commercials start to annoy him. He stands and opens the front door, holding it open and motioning to Shachi to get out like he should have done a long time ago. "Now leave."

"Don't be like this, Law! You spend all your free time here, closed!" Shachi says, not moving a muscle to stand and get out. He obviously isn't paying much attention to Law's life, otherwise, he would've known that he actually spends most of his free time inside of Bell-mere's rather than inside of his own house, not that Law is going to be the one telling him that, being the weirdo Shachi is, he would probably go there so he can see what has caught Law's attention, which has only been his spot, the coffee, and the fast internet, nothing more so it's not like he would find much anyway. But still, he's weird enough to go there and stare at everyone just because. "And I'm missing our buddy time! We don't do anything together lately."

"So, me taking care of your drunk and high ass is your idea of buddy time?" Law asks and there's a little change in Shachi's expression that tells him he didn't even think about seeing things from Law's perspective, like he never does really. "Get out."

Shachi stands and starts making his way out. He passes by Law and looks at him with what Law considers a bad attempt of puppy eyes. He closes the door as soon Shachi is outside and then goes take a shower when the guy starts begging on the other side of the door. He hopes he annoys the neighbors just bad enough for them to kick him out of the building.

By the time he gets out of the shower, his headache has lessened, but he doesn't remember ever feeling more awake. He contemplates the idea of going to Bell-mere's now, but then he remembers it's almost eight and that he wouldn't buy a coffee so if Nami is the one behind the counter, she would obviously tease him about finally order something other than coffee, and it's not like he can be there without ordering anything. If Luffy was the one behind the counter, well it wouldn't really matter.

He decides not to go.

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.

.

When two in the morning arrives, Law finds himself staring at the ceiling with his eyes fully opened and adapted to the darkness of his room. He was supposed to be asleep like hours ago but no, he's counting the few dark spots on the ceiling caused by the humidity of that spring that could only be considered spring in Drum Island.

He ends up going to that fucking party, because he's an awesome friend like that, contrary to what popular demand says about him, aka Shachi and Penguin when Law refuses to do something they want him to do, but it's not like he could fall asleep with the thought of the only three people that had managed to tolerate him in the entire campus dying of overdose or alcohol poisoning because, of course, they went without him and, obviously they didn't find another responsible person to go with them, because, let's face it, Law is the only responsible person they know. It makes Law wonder then if those pastries are also turning him into a soft-hearted person he sure wasn't a few months ago.

He dresses some mildly clean clothes, because he's going to babysit and not to impress, and the possibility of ending up with them full of vomit or spilled drinks is not worth the trouble. He calls Shachi to know where the fuck that party is located and the guy beams at him over the phone, talking fast and been barely understandable over the loud music of the place. Plus, he has most definitely drunk more than what he should've already, the fucking idiot.

He calls a taxi and proceeds to tell the guy behind the wheel what he managed to understand from Shachi's slurred speech. He doesn't ask any questions, just nods like he knows the place already too well, maybe because he has taken there more people than what he can count during that short period of time. Law doesn't have an idea of how many taxi drivers the town has, but let's be honest, if that party is anything near Shachi's description, he probably has been there already that night.

Law pays attention to the roads and takes mental notes from the places they pass along the way because he's going to be the one driving Shachi's excuse of a car with three drunk and high idiots in the backseat back to his apartment so they can crash there for the rest of the night and Law can keep an eye on them. He's really such an amazing friend.

Soon enough, they enter in a weird-looking neighborhood and Law can hear the loud music even before he can see the place. He wonders why the hell the people living there still haven't reported the noise to the authorities, it could've saved Law's time, although he would probably need to go to the police station to pick up the idiots either way, but then he notices that all the houses look inhabited. They look too damn good and showy to be abandoned though, so it probably means they belong to those rich and ridiculous families that have four or five different houses just for vacations.

Then, cars badly parked on top of the sidewalk appear in Law's eyesight and, the last thing he knows, the taxi driver is kicking him out in front of a weird and huge white house that is so much illuminated that Law's sure the aliens can see the fucking house from their place in space.

He pays and calls Shachi again to know where inside that mansion he is, to save him some time to try to find him. He picks up in the fifth call when Law is seriously ponderating to just go back and leave their sorry asses all by themselves. He can only pick up the word pool from Shachi's speech and well, that's probably all he needs really, after all a house just needs one pool, or so he hopes.

He enters through the closed but not locked huge front door that both resembles a castle and a factory and that Law doesn't understand how that can that be appealing as a front door to anyone, but, then again, what does he knows about doors. He finds Shachi and Penguin by the pool, or better, inside the pool, and Law's thankful Shachi answered his phone before throwing himself inside. They seem to be having a great time with some chicks wearing their reduced bikinis, but Law doubts being in a pool fully clothed, drunk and probably high counts as having a great time. Sure they have boobs in their faces and that's all both of them only care about and the pool is most likely heated, but still.

"Yo, Shachi! Penguin!" Law calls, trying to be louder than the poor excuse of music playing. He manages to catch everyone's attention but he ignores them all when both Shachi and Penguin beam and try to swim towards him, failing miserably and ending up coming towards him by jumping in the water. The few chances they had with those girls, well they are long gone. "Time to get out before you both drown."

They groan but, as Law keeps with his authority and sober figure, soon enough he's helping them both getting out. He gets soaked in the process, but at least he has prevented two drownings. He takes them far away from there, into the ridiculously huge garden, the farthest he can manage from all the light and noise and people, but since the fucking house is like a crowned power station, the difference isn't much.

"Where's Jean?" Law asks and only Penguin seems to have listened to him, but he apparently has no idea how to form proper words, making Law wonder just exactly how much they had drunk or consumed already. "Okay, I'm going to call him and he better pick up for your own good."

He grabs his phone again and calls Jean, who surprisingly picks up in the second call and sounds, well, way sober than those two soaked idiots. He tells him he needs help to get them into the car because he can't carry them both at the same time, and Jean actually doesn't sound as annoyed for them to be going so soon as he was expecting. Law guesses he wasn't having the time of his life Shachi as had promised, and he doesn't blame him.

Law helps Penguin and Shachi sit on the lawn because one never knows if their knees may collapse and then waits for Jean to arrive. Law's only mildly pissed with their behavior, you would think two guys studying medicine would be smarter, but no. When Jean arrives and sees his friends sitting and almost falling on top of each other, he seems a bit pissed too. He's also drunk, Law can see it on the way his eyes are watery and by his questionable walking technique as he does his way towards them, but at least he can still think and talk and be, well, useful.

Law grabs Shachi's left arm and puts it on top of his shoulders, the guy just giggling and burping in Law's ear like the civilized person he is. His breath smells horrible and his soaked clothes feel weird against his side, but Law's a good friend, he just has to remember that until he arrives at the car to prevent dumping Shachi right there in the lawn and cause him a concussion.

Jean follows behind him in a not so stable way, but then again, he's grabbing an already passed out Penguin and practically dragging him, his legs brushing against the pavement, but, to be honest, Penguin does deserve to have his knees skinned. Law doesn't exactly know-how, but both he and Jean manage to get out of the party in what could be considered record time and without having that many problems to get through all the bodies dancing inside.

"Do you know where Shachi's car is?" Law asks, stopping and looking back at Jean, who looks ready to pass out right there with Penguin on top of him. Law hopes he doesn't, having to carry three bodies is way too much bad luck, even for him.

Jean shakes his head in response as he comes closer to where Law's standing. "I didn't come with them."

 _Great_ , Law thinks,  _fucking great_. He shakes Shachi by his shoulders and asks where he has parked his car, but the guy is useless and isn't even able to open his eyes properly. Law sighs out loud and curses in a completely new language before he shoves Shachi against a nearby car and pins him there, then starting to search for the car's keys in all of Shachi's pockets without even bothering with asking in which one they are because he knows Shachi wouldn't remember. He finds his wallet and his now completely useless phone because he and Penguin decided to have a swim fully clothed and with all the things still inside their pockets just because they're geniuses. When Law finally finds the keys he's beyond thankful and surprised that they still work when he lifts his arm in the air and starts clicking the button to open and close the car doors. After that, it doesn't take long for them to spot a car whose lights keep going on and off down the road and so they start making their way towards it. He lets Jean put Penguin in the backseat first before he puts Shachi, then entering the car and waiting for Jean to crash beside him in the passenger seat before pulling out of this fucking weird neighborhood.

Law tries his best to remember the way he came from just an hour or so ago, not wanting to get lost and have to drive around until he finds the right way. He doesn't have enough patience for that and neither has the car's gas tank enough fuel. Jean falls asleep within five minutes of driving and he really hopes the guy wakes up when they reach his building. There's no way he can put the three of them inside of the elevator all by himself.

He looks through the rearview mirror more times than what he wants to admit, checking if the idiots in the back are still breathing. Law doesn't want to imagine how they would end up if he hasn't shown up to save their drunk asses, knowing full well that they would probably just fall somewhere in the ground and stay there until the morning's daylight woke them up, that is, if they managed to get out of the pool in the first place. Law has such stupid friends, he needs to find new and smarter ones, that's for sure. Well, looking for the bright side, it's not the backseat of his own car that is getting soaked with alcohol and water with chlorine.

The drive to his apartment takes longer than what he first anticipated and, by the time he tries to wake Jean up, it's already past four am, so he's really glad it's Saturday. Jean does wake up, although he doesn't really do much besides smashing the button to keep the elevator's door open and holding Shachi's arm with more force than what probably was necessary to prevent him from falling as Law goes back to the car to drag Penguin with him.

Overall, they all get into Law's apartment in one piece. Jean helps Law getting Shachi and Penguin on the floor and setting the coffee table in a corner where it doesn't bother anyone before he crashes on the couch and passes out, leaving Law all by himself. Law sighs again before he goes to his bedroom and brings everything that could be considered mattress, sheets, quilts or blankets with him, along with all the pillows he owns. He spreads everything on the floor, putting extra pillows near the couch in case Jean rolls out of it and falls on the floor.

He takes off Jean's shoes and jacket before he undresses both Penguin and Shachi from all their soaked clothes that they have glued to their sorry bodies and takes off their shoes too, only leaving their underwear on and hoping it is awfully uncomfortable down there in the morning. He dresses them some old shirts and sweatpants he doesn't use anymore but still has stored, just in case a situation as this happens, his apartment being cold most of the time after all. Then, he drags them both, one by one, to the pile he just made in the middle of his living room and, carefully, puts them in the recovering position, just in case one of them decides to throw up and to prevent them from choking and suffocating on their own vomit and die a horrible death just like the ones from that stupid show Shachi made him watch. He puts blankets behind both of them so they won't roll back onto their backs, and they better not throw up, they better fucking NOT throw up, for their own good.

He goes to the kitchen and puts Shachi and Penguin's useless phones on top of the counter. He ponderates putting them in a plate full of rice, but it would be useless, if those phones are still alive it's a miracle, so they can decide what to do with them in the morning. He then grabs a bunch of water bottles and forces them to drink a bit before leaving them in convenient places for when they wake up and feel like they have just crossed a desert. He checks them one last time to see if there are any indications of alcohol poisoning, but when he can't see anything he just makes his way towards his own room to see if he can finally get some sleep. He leaves the door open, just in case.

He's such a responsible person.

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When Law wakes up again, it's almost eleven in the morning but he still feels deadly tired. But worst than still being tired after waking up is waking up starving, so he gets up and goes to the living room where the idiots are still snoring loudly in the same position Law had put them before going to sleep, and he can't help but hope every muscle of their bodies is too numb to be functional ever again.

He opens the curtains and lets the surprisingly sunny day illuminate the room. The three of them groaning when the unrequited strong light hits their faces, and then try to cover themselves with all the blankets available but there's no way Law will let them go back to sleep. He cares for their headaches as much as they cared for his own when he had to go drag them out of that fucking party, which is basically saying he doesn't care at all.

"Rise and shine fuckers," he tells them, loudly, "we're going to get breakfast."

He goes back to his bedroom to get dressed and, when he gets back, they're all still laying in the same spots so he starts distributing some kicks. He makes them drink water before he throws their shoes at them and then pushes them all out of his apartment and inside the elevator. Law doesn't give them new clothes, they will go with the very ones they have dressed and slept into for all he cares, and it's not like it's that cold outside today. He makes them enter inside Shachi's car before he enters himself. They grunt and groan with all the noise around them but he couldn't care less, he's starving and maybe this way, next time, they will remember this painful experience and think twice before they decide to go wild, and it's not like breakfast won't do them any good anyway.

"Where are we going, Law?" Shachi asks from his place in the backseat, making Law look at him from the rearview mirror. Jean is sitting beside him, glaring at Law like all the shit in the world is his fault, and Law just smirks at him and proceeds to honk when a crazy person in a bicycle almost throws himself in front of the car. That action has the exact same results as Law was hoping for, him having too much fun with their misery.

"Get breakfast," he simply responds and, soon enough, he's parking not far away from Bell-mere's. He could've made them walk, punish them a bit more, but, unfortunately for him, that would make him have to walk along with them too and the tiny bit of sleep he managed to get the other night between all the times he got up to check if everyone was still breathing or if anyone had thrown up wasn't enough to fill even half of his energy bar.

"Come on, I'm not getting younger here," Law tells them when they take way too much time to get out of the car. He then holds the Bell-mere's door open since that thing is fucking heavier than what it looks like and closes by itself if no one's holding it. Once they're all in, he motions for them to go sit down on his usual corner and to grab some nearby chairs, since his spot only has two. He makes his way towards the counter where an also tired-looking Luffy seems surprised to see Law with company.

"Good morning there!" Luffy greets him as soon as Law is close enough, his face all bright up, "although your friends don't seem like they're having such a good one."

"That's what they get for being annoying pains in the ass," Law mutters, but he's not there to talk about how stupid his friends are, he's there to talk about breakfast. The coffee shop looks calm and that's good, means no customer will interrupt him or complain about how much time he takes to order. "I'm going to order big this time," he warns him.

"I'm all ears," Luffy says, grinning and seeming pleased with himself.

"I'll trust Nojiko with my friends' breakfast. Tell her I need food that contains bananas, eggs, every berry that you guys have in the kitchen, dried nuts would be good too. Oh, and tea," Law tells him and rises one finger for each thing he asks for. He ends up with his hand in the air like he's expecting a high five so he quickly puts it down before Luffy could have the same idea, since he totally looks like a guy who would give Law a high five just for the sake of it.

Luffy nods a few times like he's trying to process everything and his eyes keep looking straight into Law's. It's weird, but not weird enough for Law to look away, after all, Law has never lost a staring contest and this is not going to be the day he does. "Okay, gotcha," Luffy says, after a few awkward seconds. He was the one that looked away. "And for you?"

"Just coffee," Law responds almost instantly, smiling at him.

"You know drinking just coffee alone isn't going to help your hangover much, right?" Luffy asks with a smirk. Yeah, Law knows but he also knows Luffy is going to bring him food either he orders it or not, so what's the point of ordering it in the first place. Plus, he can steal bites of the food he just ordered for his friends too.

"I'm not hungover," he ends up saying instead and Luffy huffs and mutters  _of course you're not_ in response before he turns away to go inside the kitchen. Law should have felt offended, either it was due to the fact the guy didn't believe he isn't hungover, or the fact that he thinks Law doesn't have the capacity to be hungover, but he doubts Luffy said it with any malice, and he's feeling too tired to be offended anyway.

He turns away when he realizes his order must take a bit too long to be done and goes sit between Shachi and Penguin that are looking at him with weird expressions. "What?" He demands when he catches Jean also looking at him like he's from another planet. He's been receiving that look way too many times lately.

"I didn't know you had other friends aside from us three," Shachi says and he looks a bit pained, pouting slightly and closing his arms in front of his chest like he's sad that Law didn't tell him he made a new friend, which he hasn't, and besides Law does have more friends other than them.

"Luffy-ya is not my friend," Law tells them.

"Oh, and they're on a first-name basis already," Penguin says and makes an overly surprised expression as he looks at Shachi, whose expression then matches his. "How long did it take us to be on a first-name basis, Shachi?"

"Months," Shachi concludes and then both of them start nodding furiously at one another, their eyes wide open. God, they're so weird. And that only happened because they were too damn annoying for their own good and kept on insisting and getting under Law's nerves instead of acting like normal people. "That can only mean one thing, right Penguin?"

"Yes indeed, Shachi."

"That is...?" Jean asks after a few moments of silence, sounding annoyed but looking curious at the same time.

"That Law's finally improving his social skills thanks to our influence, obviously!" Penguin states and then the three of them start laughing hard and annoying everyone inside the place. Law groans and has the sudden desire to hit the wall with his head until he breaks his skull, he should've let them both drown in that fucking pool.

"Oh don't act like that!" Penguin says and punches him in the arm.

"Yeah! It's great that you have more than just three friends!" Shachi then adds and earns another round of laughter. Law wants to scream near his ear that he fucking has other fucking friends, but even that way he doubts those words would reach his small brain. "Plus, that barista guy seems cool."

"I don't think he considers me a friend really," Luffy says, suddenly appearing out of nowhere and making them all jump in surprise.

"Oh, speaking of the devil," Penguin says, grinning, leaning a the table and then pointing to the two trays Luffy's holding. "Now gives us the goodies!"

And just like that, their table is full of food that Law sure as hell won't pay for all alone. There is a plate with crepes that contain half of a banana inside and that are covered with whipped cream and a pinch of cinnamon. Right next to it there is a clear glass with strawberries, blueberries, and what appears to be almonds and granola on top of yogurt, along with four bowls and small spoons for them to be able to eat it. A big plate full of brown-colored cookies and two different kinds of muffins occupy the center of the table and, next to it, there's a plate with toast and blueberries on top and, from all the food available, that is the only one Law isn't going to try out.

Luffy leaves after making sure everyone has a cup of green tea in front of them, except for Law that has his usual coffee mug with the yellow paper on the saucer. Law doesn't have time before Shachi picks the paper out of his reach and reads,  ** _I hope this breakfast will bring you guys some sort of eggsxcitment for the day!_**  out loud.

"Oh, he's such a cutie!" Penguin says with his mouth already full with one cookie.

"Why haven't you told us about this place before, huh?" Shachi says and shoves a yellow-colored muffin inside his mouth. "I'm totally coming back every day now."

"That's exactly why I didn't," Law mutters to himself, but he's conscient that the three of them have heard him perfectly, if the round of laughter that follows is anything to go by.

In the end, Law finds out that the crepes also have cinnamon and vanilla, and that the cookies have canola, chopped walnuts, and dried apricots. That one kind of muffin tastes like banana and cinnamon while the other has strawberries in the middle, and Jean tells him the toast also has beaten eggs, vanilla extract, and maple syrup. Overall, the food is ridiculously good and all of their bellies sure are ready to explode.

Law tries to be sneaky as he puts the yellow paper in the pocket of his jacket but he's sure Shachi has seen him, though he doesn't make any sort of comments about the subject. They take the now empty plates and cups and Law's mug to the counter like Law told them to do so, and then they form some sort of circle around the register, trying to split the abnormal big bill. There are a bunch of customers behind them that keep on complaining and demanding them to hurry the hell up, but Luffy just laughs when Shachi drops a huge quantity of coins to the floor and when Penguin starts drooling with the pastries on display, so fuck the other customers really. When they finally leave the coffee shop, there is an entire line formed only by angry and impatient customers that glare at them as they make their way out and Law only feels slightly bad for Luffy that will have to attend them.

Law drives them back to his apartment so they can all grab all the shit they left behind and return the clothes Law has handed them. Law gives Shachi his car keys so he can be the driver from now on and, once everyone is out, Law proceeds to organize all the dirty clothes he has spread around his apartment so he can go to the laundromat just across the street. He skips lunch, but it's not like his stomach has any space left for anything, and spends most of the afternoon surrounded by washing machines doing laundry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave a comment ^^
> 
> Remember to surround yourself with friends whenever you can. Remember that when you do good things to others you attract good things back to you. Remember to smile every day, at everyone, with and without reason. A smile is the best thing you can put on your face.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter^^

Law doesn't go to Bell-mere's on Sunday because Shachi had asked him to come to his house so they can have the buddy time that he always rambles about missing. He wants to say no, that he has enough of him for the whole week but, truth is, Law does know how sentimental and how emotionally attached to someone Shachi can be, and well, the fact that he's sentimental and emotionally attached to him does suck, but Law isn't that kind of an asshole, most of the times at least. They end up watching a movie marathon of Scary Movie and Penguin and Jean join them by the time the third movie is playing on Shachi's computer, and truth to be told, Law does end up having some fun. But because he didn't go to the Bell-mere's that day, he feels like he has missed something important when, on Monday late afternoon, he tries to open the coffee shop's door and ends up finding it closed. He tries to look inside, through the glass door but, when he doesn't manage to, he moves to look through the windows because the sign hanging on the door says ' _open_ ', and so the place should be, in fact, open. He doesn't see anything either though, and he's not sure if it is because the tinted windows don't let him see through or because the place is too damn dark inside. Well, if there is anyone there, they must be laughing hard at his face but, then again, Law can't hear any laughter, or any noise at all, coming from the inside.

He wonders what the hell must've happened before he does his way to the coffee shop that has now become his official second choice. The guy behind the counter is still the same as the other day, and he still looks at Law with a weird and unimpressed facial expression, but at least now Law doesn't have a cup of coffee from the competition and already knows the WiFi password, so that saves him from two awkward situations.

He leaves one hour later with an empty stomach and more stressed than ever because the internet was so fucking slow that it took six minutes just to open one Google tab. One fucking google tab.

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On Tuesday, he comes sooner but still faces a closed door again, so that means it wasn't a change of the closing time. The sign is still on the wrong side so something must've happened for sure. He fights the urge of trying to take a sneak peek through the windows again, mostly because he already knows he wouldn't see anything. He's not in the mood to go to the other coffee shop again, since he feels that if he goes there too many times he will eventually become a regular or at least a familiar face to whom appears to be the only employee of the place, and he doesn't want that, he's a loyal customer, even if his favorite coffee shop keeps failing on him at the most inconvenient times.

He ends up calling Jean to go meet him at the campus' library so they can exchange notes about physics. He misses coffee and sometimes he has to read the same thing twice because he wasn't paying any attention the first time, but he doubts he will die if he doesn't drink a cup one day. Overall, it ends up being quite a productive study session if Law is being honest, and he actually found himself taking a few pictures of the notes Jean managed to write in a much more resumed way than himself. So, everything's good.

When he finally leaves the library, four or so hours later, the sun is already setting, or so it seems like it. It would be a cool thing to see if it wasn't for the fucking clouds and the fog that cover the sky and streets. As he walks home, he sees as the little sunlight that had managed to get through the sky's cloud wall becomes fewer and fewer until the night takes over. He doesn't exactly know why, but he finds himself walking through the Cocoyashi street even though he has long ago discovered it isn't a short cut to his apartment at all. He only uses it when he has to go to Bell-mere's and, when he's heading home, he always walks back because it's way faster if he just goes around it.

He also doesn't know what he was expecting when he's facing a closed door again. It's not like the place is open at that hour even during what he considers normal days. He had checked once or twice when he remembered at the last minute that he still needed to do something that required internet, like send an important paper via e-mail that counts as a third of the final grade and ridiculous shit like that. Those days happened to be coincidentally ones where Luffy was the one in charge of closing Bell-mere's, and he always had let Law in to do whatever he needed to do, with his computer on top of the counter, while he cleaned and arranged the rest of the place.

Come to think of it, Luffy has saved him and his grades a few times too many and he isn't giving the guy enough credit for it. Law kind of owes him big time.

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On Wednesday, Law's there again, because faith is the last thing standing and he doesn't want his bad thoughts about the fact that his new favorite coffee shop might have closed all of a sudden, just like the last time Law considered a coffee shop as his favorite, to be true. He's still a bit traumatized by his loss, and he's not sure how his poor college ass would overcome another one. Law can't be that unlucky for it to happen to him twice, he just can't be. And things appeared to be going just fine, the business and all. The place was crowded more times than not now and they sold pastries nonstop all the time just because they looked that good and tasted even better. They wouldn't put food in front of you only to then say it's on the house if the business wasn't doing alright, but, then again, what does he know about businesses. Plus, the business of his previous favorite coffee shop also seemed to him to go in full swing and look at what it has become now, a fucking flower shop, that's what it has become. Goodbye coffee machines, hello plant pots.

He's faced with a closed door again, but now the sign has the right side showing so that means someone has been there at least, although he doesn't know if that's a good or a bad thing. It could be the new owners, already doing some changes inside, that got tired of customer after customer trying to open the door, only to walk away angry and decided to put the sign properly to not confuse more people for all he knows.

He decides to knock at the door because what does he have to lose anyway. At least that way he may get some answers if someone does open the door, even if it's someone he has never seen before that opens it and that only sends him the fuck away. No one opens the door though, so he knocks again, and again, and again, and he keeps knocking until the knocks become bangs and he starts feeling angry because he doesn't know what's happening, and he's not sure how the hell on Earth he hasn't broken the glass in the door. Fucking good glass right there that's for sure.

The door does open though, when Law's ready to punch it again, so he calls it a win. Sure, it was an angry and tired looking Nojiko that opens it and she doesn't seem that pleased to see Law at all, but at least someone opened it.

"And why are you trying to break my fucking door, exactly?" She demands, her brows frowned, her eyes angry. She doesn't even open the door fully, just enough for her head to get through and to show her posture of  _don't you dare annoy me any further,_ her hand on her hip. Fucking rude. Well, at least it's still her fucking door so the place isn't for sale.  _Or wasn't sold yet_ , he hears his brain saying far away into his skull. Stupid brain and its negative behavior.

"Shouldn't it be opened in the first place?" Law asks, his expression matching hers in annoyance and then, well, she just looks confused, like she doesn't own a place customer related that needs an opened door for said customers to come in so the business can happen.

"I mean, you could at least put on a sign if you're rebuilding the place or selling it, you know, so people that depend on your coffee like me don't freak out and know it's time to move on and find another coffee shop."

She looks at him with a weird expression then, like he somehow turned into a being from another planet and said something that made no sense or was uncharacteristic of himself. He knows that expression far too well though, it's basically one of the reasons he doesn't socialize with other people when Shachi and Penguin are around.

"Are you crazy?" She ends up asking.

Well considering that he's in college, hasn't slept enough for years and is addicted to caffeine, which he has been deprived of, by the way, uhm, "No?"

"Then why the hell are you here for?"

"Maybe to get some answers? Like for why is the place closed?" Law says with as much sarcasm he can manage to put in those two phrases. He closes his arms in front of his chest but he doesn't stay that way more than probably five seconds, his computer's bag hanging on his shoulder being weird under his arm as he does so.

"Oh, yeah , you don't know," Nojiko then says, low, the angriness of her features being swallowed by the tiredness.

Law's not sure if he was supposed to hear it in the first place. It's only then that he sees the darkness under her eyes and how she looks older than when he first saw her, even if that time didn't last longer than five minutes. Then he remembers that he actually doesn't know how old she is in the first place and has only seen her from afar when she brings new pastries to put on display, or that one time when she was forced to leave the kitchen.

"Well, come on in then. If you make yourself useful I might even make you a coffee," she says and opens the door fully, stepping away for Law to be able to pass through, then closing and locking it right after, probably not wanting more customers to appear and see that if they knock hard enough they will get the chance to get in.

The inside of Bell-mere's is not new to Law, at all, he has seen it crowded and with only a few people inside, has seen it right after the opening of the day and way after the closing time when Luffy let him in. He has seen the place ready for customers and has seen it with the chairs on top of the tables, leaning against the wall. He has seen it all, all the facets of the place, and yet he still feels like he has walked into foreign territory as soon as he puts one foot inside. There's no sweet smell of the pastries or the smell of caffeine in the air, there is no cozy feeling, there is no magic, there is no nothing. Just the same furniture in the same place as always which tells him the place wasn't properly closed.

"So you're not selling the place?" He asks, leaving his computer bag on top of the counter and proceeds to follow Nojiko to the kitchen. The glorious kitchen where the sacred pastries are made and nothing more happens.

"Of course not. I'm making money out of it so why would I?" Nojiko says.

Law doesn't answer her question because, well, rhetorical. At least Law was right, the business is going well and they're not selling the place. That's good, that's really good.

As it turns out, the glorious kitchen has a not so glorious weird smell that Law can't quite figure out what it is. It's like something has soured and it's not at all the best smell to have inside of a kitchen. He doesn't know what he's supposed to be doing there in the first place, in what the hell he was supposed to be helping with, so he just leans against the island at the center and crosses his arms in front of his chest. There is no strap to mock him his time and so he just stays there, staring at Nojiko like she knows all the answers which, in this case, she really does.

"Are you going to help me or just stand there being a creep?" Nojiko then asks as she ironically throws a bunch of crepes in the trash bin, remembering Law of one of the first puns he has received form Luffy.

 _That's what smelled bad_ , he thinks, trying his best not to close his nose with his fingers,  _that means she really didn't come inside the kitchen in this three days in a row_. He takes a proper look at the kitchen, the home appliances seem to be good and everything seems to be well organized on the shelves beside him but, in the island that Nojiko is focusing her attention on, there are containers and used utensils like she had been interrupted while baking, and, also, wasted pastries right there in front of Law, so many it's hard for him to count them. It's a heartbreaking image.

He comes to stand beside her after he realizes what she's doing. He takes the trash plastic bag from her left hand and holds it open with both of his hands for her to be able to throw an entire container with cake dough inside of it because the trash bin is already full.

"What do you need me to do?"

"You can start by doing exactly what you're doing," she says, smiling softly at him, though it doesn't feel like a smile at all. "Then you can take everything outside. There's a door to the back there," she does a head movement, showing the door's direction with her chin. Law didn't know they even had one. So maybe Luffy doesn't spend all that time inside of the kitchen with Nojiko, maybe he goes out to smoke or to do what God knows what and then comes in again when Nojiko warns him there's a new customer entering.

Law holds open bag after bag while Nojiko throws away food, plastic containers, and kitchen utensils when she sees that it would take too much effort and work to clean and save them. Law feels like he's holding open a bag for food abortions and he hates himself for it. He can almost imagine himself in that exact same place, only he wouldn't be throwing away food, he would be there giving Nojiko advice about some aspects of her food where he thought he could help, telling her she should put fewer cloves on the mystery cake or to let the shortbread cookies a bit less time inside of the oven, but, come to think of it, he couldn't do that without sounding arrogant since Law has never even had a full conversation with Nojiko, just a few nods whenever she came out of the kitchen and he was eating, hoping she understood that it meant her pastries were good. And he wasn't exactly expecting the first time of them having an actual conversation to happen under these specific circumstances.

"I didn't imagine my entrance in this kitchen like this," Law ends up muttering because he couldn't stand the tense silence between them any longer. He normally doesn't mind silence, actually prefers it most of the times, and it's not like he's her friend or that he cares about her that much to the point of being pushy, he just doesn't like tension in the air. Especially if he doesn't know the reason for said tension.

"Like what?" She asks and then throws at least a dozen muffins that didn't even make it to the oven inside the bag.

"Oh, you know," he shrugs and puts the plastic bag on the floor, "me and you, inside of the kitchen where the pastries I've been eating lately are made, throwing away containers with ruined cake dough. It's not that appealing."

Nojiko huffs but then laughs a bit and shakes her head slightly, so he calls it a win. "Sorry for ruining your dream then."

"You better be," he tells her, pointing a wooden spoon covered with a weird pink-colored dough at her. She looks at it and then motions for him to throw it away too.  _Beyond salvation, huh_ , he thinks. The place will seriously need some new utensils and containers after this ravage.

Law helps her put everything she considers as worth saving inside of the dishwasher and then pack the bags of sugar and flour in their respective places. After that, he follows her again and goes grab the things that were on display to throw them away too, and it's mildly sad, considering they still looked good.

When Law realizes there's nothing left to be sent to the trash, he grabs the bags in one hand along with the trash bin in the other and takes everything outside to throw into a big trash bin. He comes back again and is forced by Nojiko to wash his hands which she didn't need to really, he would have done it without her demanding to do so, after all, he knows quite a lot about how bacteria and hygiene work.

"Shouldn't we give the pastries on display to a homeless or something?" Law asks while drying his hands with a kitchen cloth.

She shakes her head in response and then explains that they were no longer edible, even if their appearance said the contrary, sure they weren't that shiny vibrant color they are when fresh, but they couldn't be that bad, a bit dry maybe, but she surely knows better than him.

"I'm making cakes for the homeless later on, don't worry. I have the fridge full of cake dough that I managed to save in time."

"Need help with that?" He asks, and she looks at him with one of her brows lifted, yeah, he also doesn't know why he is being so helpful.

Nojiko does a dismissive hand gesture, which first of all, rude. "You've done enough. Come, I'm making you a coffee." And just like that, she's forgiven. He hopes she at least knows how to do it properly like Nami and Luffy do because he's already missing a good coffee way too much to be considered healthy. He's so addicted.

Nojiko stops by the coffee machines Law still considers weird looking and barely leaves space for him to pass between her and the counter. He ends up hitting his hip with way too much force against Nami's fucking high chair that only she uses for some reason.  _That means Nami was the one attending customers the last time Bell-mere's was open_ , he notices before he goes around the corner and occupies a seat on a nearby table, contemplating the idea of seating on his spot but deciding against it, he would be a too far away from Nojiko if she decided to, for some reason, stay behind the counter.

Minutes later there are two coffee mugs on top of the table and Nojiko is sitting in a chair beside him. The coffee tastes a bit better than what he's used to, but that's probably because he hasn't had a proper one in what his body feels like ages and was craving for it,  _hard_.

"So where's your sister and Luffy-ya at?" He asks after a while of silence. He's tired of silence, they had cleaned the kitchen mostly in silence, and he's getting a bit too impatient right now. "Don't tell me they decided to go on vacations at the same time and didn't warn you."

She glares at him for a few seconds, but then she must've remembered Law doesn't have a fucking clue of what's happening and her features soften a bit and she snorts. "I wish that was the case actually."

"Just spill already, would ya," Law tells her, a bit harsher than what he intended but whatever, he waited already for too damn long.

Nojiko grabs her coffee mug and holds it tightly while looking through the window where the night has already started to take over. The lights of the coffee shop aren't on and she doesn't seem to have any intention of turning them on, but Law doesn't complain, the light that comes from the lamp just outside is enough to illuminate at least enough of the place for Law to be able to see Nojiko. He waits again, but he's starting to get a bit pissed off. That's why he isn't going to be a psychologist or a psychiatrist, he wouldn't be able to stand those patients that take too long to spill out their problems.

"Me and Nami have been at the hospital these past few days," she starts and pointedly doesn't look at Law, to which he finds that he doesn't really care, finds that as long as she talks he couldn't care less about the eye contact, "Luffy has had an accident, I thought you knew, considering he talks about you like you're his friend." She pauses and looks at Law then, her eyes sad.

"His brother Ace has- _had_  a motorcycle and usually did rides around the country with his friends. Like those badass bikers, you know. Anyway, whenever those rides were here in the area, he always took Luffy with him. Only this time," she stops, "I don't even know what happened, I just know a fucking truck ran over them."

Law feels his throat clenching and it gets hard for him to swallow his coffee. He waits a bit before he asks if they're okay, to which Nojiko responds by shaking his head.  _Of course, they're not_ , Law has noticed her correction, and that can only mean one thing. Well shit then, and Law there worried the fucking place had been sold.  _Fucking idiot_.

"Ace and- I don't know if you have heard about him or not, Whitebeard?" She asks and Law shakes his head in response, "doesn't matter now anyway. They died before the ambulances even arrived, the truck just fucking took them. And Luffy," she lets a harsh laugh escape her mouth, it isn't a happy one at all, it's like she's confused and incredulous and can't believe what fucking happened, and he doesn't really blame her, "no one really knows how but he managed to survive. Ace's motorcycle was fucking cut in half you know. Ace's part was smashed against the front of the truck while Luffy- I don't even know. He somehow managed to get to the other side of it."

"Is he okay then?" Law asks and realizes just how stupid his question is. Of course, the guy isn't fucking okay. He decides to rephrase his question before Nojiko's glare kills him. "Is he conscious? Awake?" And that seems to do the trick, well more or less, as she leans against the back of the chair instead of glaring at him and closes her eyes, probably trying to find the right words to explain Luffy's condition. It's only then that Law realizes she doesn't even know he's studying medicine, and neither does Luffy or Nami. He doesn't bother telling her that fact now though, doesn't tell her that she can use the complicated terms all she wants that he will understand her perfectly fine. In fact, that's the only time that Law waits without trying to push an answer out of her, feeling like he doesn't have the right to do that.

"He's alive, not conscious, but alive," she starts, straight to the point, her voice low and her eyes still closed. "When he got to the other side of the truck he went flying on the asphalt and got himself burned and scratched, nothing too serious. But when he hit the road the last time he landed on top of the exhaust pipe or something and people weren't fast enough to get it out. It caused him a three-degree burn on the chest. He has been in critical condition for the past few days, but the doctors say he's gonna make it."

She remains still after that and, for a moment, Law wonders if she has fallen asleep, but a man comes and tries to open the door and Nojiko's eyes open instantly, her head snapping in the man's direction. He seems confused at first to find the door closed and tries two more times before he moves to the window and tries to take a sneak peek. At that moment, Law feels like he's seeing his past self, facing the coffee shop closed for the first time, only that time he thought that if there was anyone inside they would be laughing at him, not having a conversation like him and Nojiko are having. Law would prefer to be laughing as the man goes away with confusion splashed across his face.

"So, you and Nami-ya," Law starts again after a while of silence and when the man is long gone, "have been at the hospital this whole time?"

"Yeah," she mumbles, sounding small and vulnerable, "she thinks he will immediately wake up the second she leaves the hospital so she has practically stayed there the whole time."

"You don't seem to like hospitals that much," Law points out before he can stop himself. He shouldn't, but he's a bit curious about why she says the word hospital so bitterly, like the mere fact of saying it out loud offends her. "You can tell me to mind my own business," he then adds when she stays quiet, staring at the still full coffee mug in front of her, and Law's not sure if she has even had one sip of it. Law has drunk half of his own while Nojiko was staring through the windows, but since then his mug has been forgotten in front of him, him having lost all the appetite for caffeine he had.

"My mom's last year was spent closed inside of a hospital. Saying I don't like them is an understatement," she explains and looks at him with an expression that tells him quite specifically to not push that subject any further, and he doesn't have any intentions to do so.

So Law guesses coming to the Bell-mere's was just an excuse for her to leave the hospital, even if it was a really good excuse, considering the ruined food and all that could be an even bigger problem in the future. Law understands why people don't like hospitals, there are only a few good reasons as to why one should be there against way too many bad reasons. Law doesn't like them either, the bright lights and the white walls, he always thinks of them as a bad irony, as the light some of the patients see before they die but, truth is, great things can happen inside of a hospital as well, and are those things that Law is aiming for in his future. Having a person's life depending on him, on his hands and on his skills, feeling like he can choose for a split second whether or not someone dies, even if that's not entirely the truth.

He wonders if Nami hates hospitals as much as Nojiko does, he bets she does, and yet she's still there all the time, worried if Luffy is going to wake when she's not around.

"Is Nami-ya there right now?" Law asks and stands up, making his way towards the counter to grab his computer bag before he even gets an answer. When he looks back at Nojiko again, she just nods. "Then I'm going."

Law doesn't exactly know what he was hoping for when he just stood there, looking at Nojiko and waiting for her to say something. "I can take you there if you promise you'll convince her to at least come out to get fresh air."

But he's glad he did. "Deal."

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.

Law waits for Nojiko to open the door and close it after him, then proceeds to follow her to the small parking lot at the end of the street that now has tourist buses parked more times than not. Today though, that's not the case and Law spots Nojiko's supposed car, a blue pickup truck, parked all alone easily. He has to make room for himself in the passenger's seat and shove all the papers and what appears to be maps aside, being careful to not ruin or crush them as he does so.

He waits for Nojiko to enter her car and soon enough they are on the road at a speed Law's sure already crossed the limits for the area, but he doesn't complain, he's not in a place to. She doesn't say a word all the way to the hospital so Law keeps his mouth shut as well. He wonders if she's just naturally quiet or if she just doesn't have anything to talk to him about, or if maybe it's due the circumstances they're under.

He helps her find a spot to park in the hospital's parking lot that sure as hell needs expansion with the number of cars that it has parking. He ends up spotting an old woman just leaving a bit ahead and then both of them have to wait until she does the apparently so difficult maneuver to take her car from under a tree-shaded spot. Nojiko doesn't waste time after that and parks way too aggressively. They do the rest of the way walking past through the groups of people that are currently leaving, the visiting hours not lasting more than probably an hour now. The inside of the hospital is what can be considered organized chaos, with people seating in the plastic seats as they wait, and groups of nurses and medics that are on their break to drink a coffee or are doing their way outside to smoke. There's a line at the reception where a tired-looking old woman gives visitors cards for them to be able to pass through the guard and see their respective friends or family hosted in one of the hospital rooms.

It takes a while to be their turn, and Nojiko it's the one that does the talking, telling the woman Luffy's name and room number. It's the first time Law has heard about Luffy's surname but he doesn't think much about it. The old woman only gives them one card, stating that Luffy can only receive two visitors per time and that there is already one person with him, whom Law guesses must be Nami. They are shoved aside then, by a weird-looking couple that may be the only ones that are excited inside of the reception and, as they ask for their cards, Law's not at all surprised when he overhears they're going to the maternity ward.

Nojiko then grabs his arm and brings him close enough for her to be able to talk low and still be heard over the noise around. She tells him to go, that Nami's there and that she will wait outside. She gives him the card and tells him the room's number and the floor where Luffy's at, even though Law just heard her saying the exact same thing at the reception, and despite it being written on the front of the card.

"I will tell her you're waiting," he tells Nojiko and receives a nod in response.

She's paler than before and Law can see her hands grabbing her crossed arms forcefully, her fingers pressing her skin. He starts doing his way towards the guard then and, when he looks behind, he's not surprised to see that she's not there anymore. He shows his card to the ridiculously tall and muscled guard and passes through him with only a pointed look between Law's face and the card.

He enters the big elevator and has to share it with one old patient in a wheelchair and with what appears to be his son, considering the similarities on both of their faces. The guy must've taken his father for a walk outside and now it's time to bring him back to his room. They exit the elevator on the floor below the one directed to the intensive care.

The burn intensive care unit is at the very end of a very long and white corridor that makes Law feel as if it doesn't have an end at all. Law has to walk and he cleans his hands every time he sees a sanitizer because he's starting to feel paranoid with all the probabilities of Luffy catching an infection because of him, which okay, aren't really that many considering Law is Law and won't touch him, but the probabilities are still there and he knows the implications of it.

The first thing he notices when he enters the unit is the obnoxious sound that gets louder and louder every time he passes through one of the patient's rooms. He sees a woman leaving, fat drops falling down her face, wearing a protective garb and gloves, her mask being under her chin but still stuck to her ears. She doesn't lift her eyes when she passes right beside Law and it's only then that Law realizes just how different their situation is, Law doesn't need to be wearing any of that, which means Luffy's in a much better condition than the patient the woman was visiting.

Law soon enough reaches Luffy's room, the sound coming from inside getting louder as he enters. He comes closer to the bed where Luffy lays unconscious. The first thing he notices is all the things that attached to Luffy's body and the ventilator covering his mouth, making him seem smaller and more vulnerable. He's pale, but Law's not sure if the white sheets along with all the whiteness of the room itself are the reason for him to have such an alarming kind of pale or not. The room is mostly empty, aside from Luffy's bed equipped with all the machines and the chair that Nami is currently using. There's a TV high on the wall, but its black screen doesn't do much other than reflecting the two people in front of him like a bad mirror.

Law approaches Nami, who's curled up in a fetal position on the chair right next to the bed. She seems uncomfortable while sleeping, her hair falling half over her face and the other half to the back of the chair. It isn't as shiny and well-arranged as Law is used to see, but it still provides the only color inside of the room. Law touches her shoulder and shakes it lightly, feeling only slightly bad for waking her up. She awakes in a jolt and looks at Law, first seeming confused and then with what appears to be some sort of anger.

"What are you doing here?" She asks, her voice low and her left hand coming to rub one of her puffy and red eyes. She looks just purely miserable.

"Your sister is waiting for you outside," Law tells her instead and she stares at him while her sleepy brain makes sense out of his words. Then she looks at Luffy, laying still on the bed and doesn't move a muscle to get out. He understands her need to stay, but it's highly improbable that Luffy's going to wake in that already less than an hour left of visiting time. "You should go home and have some rest-"

"I'm fine," she cuts him off and doesn't look up at Law, "I don't want him to awake and be here all by himself. He will be too confused."

"You have done enough already today," Law tells her, softly, but she doesn't look convinced so he tries another approach. "So what, are you going to stay here all the time? What if he stays like that for months, are you going to move in?" He says, harsher than what was probably needed, pointing in Luffy's direction. She finally looks at him and he knows she got the point, she shouldn't risk her own health just because she wants to be here to support and comfort Luffy the moment he wakes up. She can't exactly help much if she's exhausted and looking almost as dead as Luffy, can she?

And yet she still shakes her head, like a toddler refusing to eat all the vegetables on the plate. "The visiting time is almost over, I can go home after the nurses kick me out."

"Exactly, it's almost over. Come on Nami-ya, go home, you're not helping much if you're here sleeping," he tells her, lower this time because he's aware they're not alone in the hospital. She seems uncomfortable and maybe a bit embarrassed by the fact she fell asleep and had to be awakened by no other than Law himself, as if somehow she had failed at supervising Luffy's unconscious body. "I can stay here and watch over him if that makes you feel any better."

She looks at him again, but this time her look is different, somehow. He's a bit self-conscious then, being under her gaze his only mildly uncomfortable to stay the least. He doesn't really know why he has said that, it just came out of his mouth without his brain having enough time to filter and rethink about it. As he holds Nami's weird gaze, his hand find their way to his computer bag and firmly holds the strap as if his subconscious his giving him some sort of excuse for him to be there. Not that he needs one, but he guesses it wouldn't do any harm to use the hospital's internet, even if just for half an hour.

"Would you?" She asks after a while and Law nods in response.

She sighs, heavily, but rises from her seat, motioning with her hand that it now belongs to him. She grabs her large purse from under the bed and then extends her hand in front of him, her palm facing up. It takes a few moments for Law to realize she is silently demanding for his phone and he quickly takes it out of his jean's pocket.

"In case he wakes up in your turn," she says and then hands him his phone, now with her phone number and her name showing on the screen. He doesn't think twice before calling her, only to quickly turn off after he hears her phone ringing somewhere inside of her purse.

"In case he wakes up in yours," he tells her, receiving a small smile in return.

She leaves after that without saying anything else, leaving Law by himself once again, only this time, there's an unconscious Luffy laying on the bed beside him. Law doesn't know what he's doing with his life anymore, he wasn't expecting to be at the hospital visiting no other than his unconscious barista when he woke up this morning, but one thing Law's sure, he's one hell of a good customer.

Law grabs the chair and puts it a bit farther away from the bed than what it was, then he takes out his computer from the bag and quickly connects with the open WiFi the hospital has to offer its visitors. He's careful to put both the chair and the computer on certain angles so Law can see Luffy's messy head in the background besides his computer screen. He starts typing, but without really paying much attention to what he's writing, his brain managing to block out the sounds and beeps caused by all the machines around him until they've stopped being annoying altogether.

He tries to pay attention to his computer screen, but that ends up being an impossible task so he just closes it. It's hard for him to concentrate on his assessment when he's in the environment that he hopes will be  _his_  environment in the future, it's hard for him to focus on a computer when he has so many machines that he has learned about in his boring morning classes, it's hard for him to look away when everything is there, in front of him, attached to Luffy's small and pale body, covered in bandages.

He realizes then how he should be worried, how he should feel bad for Luffy, but he can't bring himself to feel anything more than pure excitement, pure enthusiasm, which is bad, is cold from his part because Luffy's just there, unconscious, a third-degree burn on his chest that will leave a permanent scar and a brother just counting the time left to go to the grave. It's horrible if Law really thinks about it, but he doesn't want to. Luffy will be alright, will get better, will survive, and that's all that matters to him right now because Law didn't know his brother and isn't Luffy's friend to worry about him that deeply. That has nothing to do with him, Law's just there because Nojiko told him to get Nami out, and because Nami told him to keep an eye on Luffy otherwise she wouldn't go.

Law packs his computer back inside of his bag again and raises from his seat to examine the room while he still has time. He knows most of the equipment by memory, not because he really needs to for any of his courses but because he wanted to know, wanted to familiarize himself with everything, even if it is still too fucking early to be familiarized with anything. Shachi would call him obstinate if he was here.

Soon enough there's a nurse in the room asking for Law to leave with an apologetic smile on her face and it's disturbing.

"You better give me a fucking yellow paper tomorrow," Law mutters as he takes one last glance at Luffy's body because Nami would've killed him if he didn't, the sound of his voice echoing through the room but being quickly swallowed by all the beeps.

He leaves after that and, surprisingly enough, he finds that he doesn't really want to.

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.

.

On Thursday, Law arrives sooner. The Bell-mere's once again closed but Law has seen Nojiko's car parked in the parking lot so he knows she's there. He will not be fooled again. He does his way, as usual, only this time he doesn't knock the front door open like yesterday and instead goes search for that alley where he sent to the trash all of those pastries and knocks on its door. That way, he's preventing any other potential customer to see him enter the place because he assumed Nojiko will let him enter again.

Nojiko opens the door after a few knocks and looks a bit surprised to see him again, but it disappears in a split second and Law's sure that's because she was expecting him to knock at the front door, not the back one. She doesn't say anything, not even a hello so Law doesn't bother either, only enters through the door she's holding open and barely even letting enough space for him to get through.

When he enters the kitchen he's more or less pleased with what he sees, it being more like what he thought he would see for the first time, not a messy kitchen full of dirty containers and acid and sour scent like yesterday. Sure, there are also dirty mixing bowls and baking utensils everywhere, but at least Law knows they were used today and that they will have some sort of salvation, unlike those unfortunate ones with cake dough so stuck that it looked more like cement than anything else. There's a sweet smell filling the place too, along with a brief combination of chocolate and flour.

He decides then that he likes the kitchen like this the best, although he's aware it would be even better if Luffy came in, stole one of the still hot cupcakes and then Nami hit him in the back of his head with a wooden spoon.

"I'm making the cakes," Nojiko says and hits Law on his arm with a kitchen cloth, as if telling him to step the fuck aside already. She then opens a big oven, embedded on the wall just behind him, and takes out four cakes, one after another. She puts them all on top of the island and takes them out of their respective forms. "I would offer you a slice, but they're for the homeless. Guess you'll understand," she adds, winking.

Law has to bite a response that was just ready to come out of his mouth because he doesn't want to start gaining more enemies now, after all, he has enough already. "How's Nami-ya?" He asks instead and leans over the counter where he hopes he isn't blocking the way.

"Better I guess. Actually slept. But she was at the hospital as soon as visiting hours started," Nojiko says and looks at him with a small smile on her lips. "Thanks for yesterday, by the way, I don't know what you did or said but whatever it was, it worked so, yeah, thanks."

"No problem," Law says and is only mildly uncomfortable. He's not used to people thanking him, mostly because he doesn't usually do good things to people, and when he does, his friends tend to not really thank him for it. He's not used to it and doesn't know how to deal with it either, but he guesses it's a thing he will have to eventually get used to, considering the number of lives he's planning on saving.

"What did you tell her anyway? I want to know the persuasive secret so I can use it when you're not around."

"I didn't say anything in special, I think. Just that I would cover her shift for her," Law says and Nojiko's looks at him with that look that tells him she was not expecting that. She was probably expecting him to be like the caveman he is sometimes and to drag her out of Luffy's room by her hair, or probably was expecting him to tell Nami all the things she's doing wrong as a visitor. Law's sure Nojiko wanted the "persuasive secret" to be something she could do herself, and Law already knows she wouldn't take over Nami's shifts because of her most probable trauma with hospitals.

"I see," Nojiko mutters and starts pounding the cake dough furiously until small bubbles start to appear on top. "She complained all the way home though, but said you stayed and would call if Luffy woke up. I just thought she would be the one that made you stay there against your will, not that you offered to do it voluntarily."

"Probably she was the one using persuasive secrets on me," Law tells her and receives a snort in response.

"Probably," she mutters. "Anyway, are you going today too?"

"If you give me a ride, I will think about it," Law says and reaches out his hand, mostly as a joke. He wasn't expecting her to dip her own hand into a flour bag and then shake his own though.

"Deal," she says and returns to her work. "I will be ready in a minute, go ahead and use the internet for your nerdy stuff if you want to. I paid for it, so it better as well be used."

Law tries his best to not feel offended as he does his way to the place where he should be to begin with, but he still glares at Nojiko's back before he does so. He doesn't use the Internet for nerdy stuff, he uses it for purely scientific purposes and research, and that was one hell of a rude way to treat a customer, especially one as loyal as Law himself. Maybe that's why she only interacts with customers when she's obligated to and spends most of her time in the kitchen, maybe it doesn't have that much to do with her culinary abilities and more with her attitude, after all, Nami sure is better at being polite and faking friendliness.

He goes sit at his spot and turns on his computer. Nojiko could've given him a slice of one of the cakes, it's not like the homeless would mind, and could also make him a coffee but no, she's that kind of person. Law wished he knew how to work with all that machinery, he could start making his own coffee if this current situation takes long to get over with and Nojiko refuses to make him one. That's the customer Law as turned into. He has turned into a customer that stopped coming for the food, stopped coming for the coffee, and started coming only to have a place with internet to seat, all alone and in the dark because Nojiko didn't even turn on the lights on again, and that's also what Bell-mere's turned into, it stopped being a cozy and warm place to become a dark and cold one, stopped being full of people to become deserted, stopped having that delicious smell of pastries and coffee to have just a faint scent of it as Nojiko's takes cake after cake of the oven.

Half an hour passes before Nojiko emerges from the kitchen, and she comes with her hands-free, no plate nor yellow paper.  _The stinginess sure runs in the family,_  he thinks as she looks at her, she giving him a weird look he can't quite figure out in return, like she's annoyed Law didn't magically guess she was ready to go and continued doing his work instead of packing his computer and all his shit, like she's annoyed to have to wait for Law to do just that as she stands there behind the counter, hand on her hips, like she's the one that has a reason to be annoyed. Yeah right, like she was the one that had to sit in the dark and cold with nothing like a scalding hot coffee to warm her inside.

Law follows her back to the kitchen and doesn't have enough time to appreciate or even properly look at all the boxes containing the cakes for the homeless, all piled up, as he is practically shoved outside and then almost needs to sprint to keep with Nojiko's pace while doing their way towards her car.  _The woman must be crazy_ , he thinks while following her.

"Did something happen?" Law asks while climbing to the car.

"No," she responds and Law can't see anything more than pure sincerity and maybe a bit of confusion due to Law's question, and probably a bit of madness too.  _Yeah, the woman is most definitely crazy_.

The ride to the hospital is as fast as it was yesterday and Law's not sure how they haven't been stopped by the police yet, doesn't know how someone could give Nojiko's a license or even a car, not believing that she's the one driving when Nami is also inside the car.

"Tell Nami I'm waiting here," she says after parking in the hospital parking lot, this time not needing Law's help to find an empty spot. She didn't make a move to get out of the car, so Law realized he was going inside alone. It was annoying, but it wasn't not like he didn't know what he needed to do to get in, and it's also not like she would've done anything while keeping him at least company in the way too long line to get to the receptionist other than stress out and glare at everyone that showed happiness. So yeah, it's probably for the best if she just stays in the car, although she doesn't have the right to complain about the time she will have to wait afterwards, as it is not like he could shove aside everyone ahead of him in line.

He stays in line for what appears to be ages and he's only mildly angry about the fact that he's wasting visiting time while standing in the same place for decades. He doubts Nojiko's has called her sister to warn her that Law was coming, since she probably knows that calling would only give Nami time to sort out excuses to stay, and that's not what Nojiko wants, so Law just needs to wait and do his way up and maybe awake Nami again.

When it's his turn though and the receptions tell him the two cards are already taken, he realizes he has no other option other than to call Nami. She has one of the cards, and since Law doesn't really know any other person within Luffy circle of friends, she's the only one that he can ask for it. He calls her and waits a good amount of time before she picks up, and the only reason it doesn't make Law feel even more pissed off is because he has seen the purse where she puts her phone in, that thing is huge and probably carries just so much shit that Law feels bad for her back.

" _Yeah_?" Is the first thing she says when she picks up, her voice low.

"Are you in Luffy's room?" Law asks, even though he already knows the answer. He can hear the beeps in the background.

" _Yes, I am, are you planning on coming?"_

"I'm already here and I need a card," Law says, annoyed, and hopes the  _just come the fuck down already and give me the card and leave because your sister is waiting for you_  is implicit. Law gets shoved aside while people walk past him more often than not, even though they have plenty of space where they can walk and still have a five-foot gap away from him, and that only gets him more pissed. This is not a good day for Law's mood, that's for sure.

" _Okay, be there in a minute_ ," she says as Law's once again shoved in the ribs, good thing he's at the hospital and will be helped immediately if one of his bones break. He moves out of the way and leans against the nearest wall, hopefully far away enough from the pathway for him to be safe. He ends the call then, before she can say anything else just to show her how annoyed he is for having to wait.

Law waits and gets more and more annoyed as the times passes by and there's still no sight of Nami passing through the tall and emasculated guard. He wonders if she didn't pick up the urgency in Law's tone of voice, or if Luffy has awakened the second she put a foot outside his room as she feared, or if maybe she's stuck inside of the elevator because there's no way she can take that long to get down.

He ends up glaring at everyone that dares to cross in front of him, and that includes two little children that he's sure he has somehow traumatized. A few moments later, he spots orange in the middle of the crown and crosses his arms in front of his chest before Nami can get near him. She finds him easily, almost immediately if he may add, as if she felt him glaring, his glare apparently not having lost its power, but then again, he's has been deprived of Nojiko's baked goods. He knew that amount of sugar inside of his systems wasn't doing him any good.

Law watches as Nami starts making her way towards him, and he frowns his brows more with every one of her steps. A blond guy with a weird haircut follows behind her, and it takes Law a while to remember his face. He has seen the guy a few times too many inside of Bell-mere's, ordering and flirting with Nami so bad it was both painful and hilarious to see.  _So together they had the two cards_ , he thinks,  _the guy better be the one returning his own card to the receptionist_  since he only needs Nami's to get in and there's no way he will be the one returning it for him.

"Ah, there you are!" Nami greets him a bit too loud. "Alone in the corner, as depressing as usual."

"Yeah, whatever," Law says, his patience only held by a very, very thin thread. "Just give me the damn card, will ya?"

"Okay take it already," she frowns and gives him the card, then she turns to the blond who keeps staring at Law with only one tired and puffy eye, the other covered so fully with his blond hair that Law isn't even able to see it. It's so weird. "By the way this is Sanji. Sanji, this is Law."

He keeps staring at Law before his mouth forms a smirk, as if he's realizing something, which makes his face even weirder. "Ah, so you are the famous Law," he starts muttering then, the smirk never leaving, "I've heard a lot about you, it's weird how the descriptions actuality match the reality."

Law wants to ask just what he has heard about him, and what are those descriptions he's talking about but he decides against it. Who the fuck cares anyway, Law has already wasted too much time there in the lobby, plus, Sanji is definitely the weird one, not Law. "Can't say I've heard a thing about you," Law ends up saying instead, which is a lie, but the smirk leaving Sanji's face and turning into a glare is totally worked it.

"And you're also as rude as Luffy told you were," Sanji mutters again and Law wants to punch him, only Nami does if for him with a well-given punch on his shoulder.

"Stop it," Nami tells him and he immediately backs off, just like a puppy scared of the owner. It's disturbing to watch. Then Law remembers what he has overheard once in Bell-mere's, back then the guy did go after Nami like a lost puppy and obeyed her without complaint, at least that's the impression Law got once the conversation changed the subject, although Nami still seems to don't care at all about it or him, not now and not back then. But fuck it, Law doesn't like drama and he sure as hell doesn't want to know anything related to their somewhat relationship. He doesn't care and it sure isn't interesting if Law can compare them to a dog and the owner, it doesn't really seem healthy for either of them.

Law nods a goodbye at Nami and ignores Sanji as he starts doing his way towards the guard, now with a card hold firmly on his hand. He was rude, he's aware of that, but he couldn't care less and it's not like the guy was the mister sympathy to him either. He takes heavy steps as he does his way to the elevator, and he knows he must be irradiating five different kinds of anger when a mother of twins almost crunches her children between her and the elevator wall just to keep them away from Law's aura. He sighs, mostly because he's being ridiculous and more childish than a child, but it's not really his fault, yes, he woke up with a mood slightly worse than usual but people just keep teasing and mocking him, which only makes him angrier.

He takes less time to reach Luffy's room, as he already knows where it is located and doesn't need to stop and inspect every room's number. Luffy is still in the same position, still with everything attached to him and the image would be a peaceful, almost angelical one if it wasn't for all the annoying beeps and the almost cadaverous look on Luffy's face.

"I think I need that tea you keep giving me when I'm in a bad mood," Law mutters as he passes by Luffy's bed and goes sit in the chair, near the window. Law watches Luffy's face, hoping for some twitch in his expression, something similar to what his face did when Law actually ordered food with only hand movements, although he knows it will take a while for Luffy to smile that brightly again. Luffy doesn't move, as Law was already expecting, but he knows he must've heard him, even though he won't obviously remember anything once he wakes up.

Law realizes then that doesn't know what he's doing, or why he's even there, visiting his barista in the hospital like it is a normal thing to do, realizes then that if Luffy wakes up when he's there he will have no clue of what to do, of what to say. Sure, Law knows what happened, but it was only the resumed part of the story, he doesn't know any details, so he wouldn't be able to explain Luffy anything aside from the fact he has had an accident, will have a permanent scar and just lost his brother, and how do people even tell this kind of news to the person involved? How do people even approach this subject, do they just spill out everything in a row or do they take baby steps? Law knows that depends on people, him, for example, would very much prefer if people could just put everything on top of the table and not let his brain have enough time to process the meaning of the words, he knows he would've preferred it that way when doctors said Cora-san died, would've preferred if they just told him straight away and overloaded his tenth-year-old brain with information he did not comprehend as a whole at the time instead of being as patient and sympathetic as they were, with those stupid facial expressions always splashed across their faces. He would've preferred it so much more. But for Luffy, it may be a totally different case for all he knows, he may get in shock or traumatized if the information comes in just one go, or it may be the other way around, Law doesn't have a fucking clue. So he really hopes Luffy wakes up soon, but he also hopes that it isn't during his turn because he doesn't know if it would do Luffy any good to discover what happened through him.

Law feels dislocated, he has only met Luffy a few months ago and has not had one single full conversation with the guy and yet there he is, seating on a chair beside his unconscious body. If Luffy's friends come they will find the fact that Law's there weird, to say the least, because he's anything more than a stranger, Law only knows Nami and Nojiko in Luffy's circle of friends, and Nojiko keeps staying the hell away from the hospital and Law takes Nami's place beside Luffy's bed, so he's all by himself. If two of Luffy's friends come together when Law's there, hoping to see Luffy also together, Law will be inevitably taking the place and the card of one of them, and does he have the right to do that? Who would Luffy prefer to see, prefer to have explaining his situation to him once he wakes up? Would the answer be one of his friends or Law, one of his customers?

Law finds it an easy question to respond to.

So Law decides then that, if one of Luffy's friends come and ask if he can give his card to another that's still waiting in the lobby, he will not think twice before going away, he will not act selfishly just because he also feels like he should be there, he doesn't have a place there, he's just covering for Nami's shift and the sooner that gets into his mind, not as an excuse but as the truth, the better.

.

.

.

On Friday, Law contemplates the idea of not going to the hospital when he receives a message from an unknown number that Law deduces must belong to Nojiko, telling him not to go to Bell-mere's hoping for a ride, that she won't be there. He contemplates the idea, yes, but he still goes anyway, after all the message just told him Nojiko wasn't in the coffee shop, not that Nami wouldn't be at the hospital like she apparently always is.

So he goes, and since he doesn't have a ride, he has to take a bus, an overcrowded one if he may add. Law doesn't know how that many people can manage to fit inside of such a confined space, and he feels like a packed sardine when they just keep entering and squeezing the ones already inside and no one fucking leaves. At some point, he can feel someone grabbing his ass, and he turns around in full force to glare at whoever did it, but the people beside him are the ones that glare at him, showing their displeasure for the fact that Law basically just shoved them all while turning around with his backpack, although it's not his fault if he's taller and needs more space than all of them. No one grabs his ass again during the way, so he guesses it was just an unintentional accident, or maybe it was just a pickpocket trying to steal his wallet from his pocket, only to then give up after discovering Law's wallet is not on his jeans. Law knows how to keep his belongings safe, they're all inside of his backpack, deep inside where no one can open it without Law noticing, he has made sure of it.

When he arrives at the hospital, Nami's there alone so the receptionist gives him the last card. but it's only when Law enters Luffy's room that he realizes that, this time, he can't really tell Nami to go home, because Nojiko isn't there to take her, it's only then that he realizes he will have to stay the two hours remaining of visiting time with her, it's only then that he realizes he didn't really think it through.

"Oh," is the first thing that leaves Nami's mouth when she sees Law, standing awkwardly by the door, unsure if he should risk it and enter or not. She has a book now resting on her lap and her hair is caught on a weird bun that somehow suits her. The look she shows tells him she's truly surprised by the fact he's there. "I didn't think you'd come today."

"You thought wrong," Law says as he enters the room and starts doing his way towards the seat beside Nami that wasn't there last time Law visited. He receives a snort in response when Law's waiting for Nami to take her purse from the seat so he can use it, hitting with his foot on the floor just to show impatience.

"You know I'm not going home today though, don't you?"

"Figured, yeah," he says, dismissively and Nami nods, not really bothering to pretend to feel at least a bit excited to have company. She looks in Luffy's direction and, for a moment, Law wonders if she has seen him moving or something because she keeps staring at him for a long time. Law can see her eyes are not focused on Luffy though, can see that she drifted away and wonders if it's this way that she passes her visiting hours, if she brings books and ends up not really paying attention to them until, eventually, she falls asleep if no one's around.

Law takes his notes from his backpack and spreads them on his lap and harm's chair, trying to make the bit less of noise as he can manage while doing so. He can feel Nami's eyes on him, as if wondering what the fuck he's doing, only to then judge him.

"You're such a nerd," she ends up saying after Law's all set and he doesn't bother to feel insulted, he's actually surprised she took so long to insult him. It's now obvious the two sisters share the same opinion about him.

"I'm thinking about my future, not being a nerd."

"If you say so."

They fall into silence then, Law's mind absorbed into his papers and Nami's absorbed in itself, and it's everything turns quiet, too quiet, but Law doesn't mind to just hear the machine's beeps and Nami's heavy breathing beside him, or at least, he doesn't mind it too much. He can see Nami opening her book again and readjusting into a more comfortable position on her chair by the corner of his eye but, after a while, she still hasn't turned a single page. Law wants to talk to her, wants to fulfill the silence and to get her out of her own mind but it's kinda hard to do so when one doesn't really have anything to talk about.

Law knows what she's doing, she's overthinking, it's not that hard to figure out when he's always overthinking himself, he knows the signs and knows how it is. He wonders what she may be thinking about though, which doesn't really concern him but it's more interesting than paying attention to the principles of pathology, wonders just the amount of cost that she's having with Bell-mere's closed so many days in a row, wonders if she can afford those costs, wonders if she's even thinking about that right now.

"When are you planning on opening Bell-mere's again?" Law asks and sees Nami coming back to reality when he looks at her, waiting for a response that she seems to not have. He guesses she wasn't thinking about that in the end, and it's weird to think that Nami, for once, isn't thinking about the money she's losing. Law doesn't even know if the coffee shop is in condition to wake up to life again, at least not with only one employee available, as Nami wouldn't be able to stand behind the counter all by herself, no matter how fast and efficient she is, she would only end up with a nervous breakdown, and Nojiko's has her job in the kitchen and won't be able to help her much during rush hour. But she can't be waiting for Luffy to wake up, recover and go back to work for it to open again, it can take weeks, if not months, they will be bankrupt by then. "You need to find another employee," he tells her.

"Don't be stupid, I'm not replacing Luffy," Nami bites back and closes the book with more force than necessary, the clap echoing through the room and corridor.

"Then find him a temporary substitute," Law says, remaining calm, "Luffy-ya can come back when he's recovered."

"Yeah, because finding a reasonable employee in this fucking town is that easy, especially one that doesn't mind if they get fired the day right after entering service because Luffy has recovered. It's not that easy Law."

"So, is Bell-mere's better closed?" Law asks and raises an eyebrow at her.

"Of course not, but it's just-"

"I have a friend that used to work at the coffee shop on campus and that needs money," he cuts her and she seems interested, slightly, the responsibility to warn his friend of the job's peculiarity being only on Law's back seeming to catch her some interest, and it's not like Shachi would mind it anyway. He doesn't really need the money as Law does, it's more that, that way, he gets more space maneuver when it comes to the amount of money he has available that Law's sure shouldn't be that much by now. Plus, he did work at the coffee shop on campus and he did good, the only reason Law didn't go there was because there were always too many college students confined inside that small place and Law rarely managed to find a free chair to seat most of the days. Shachi resigned from work when he noticed he had saved a good amount of money and then couldn't occupy the place behind that counter again.

But he did well when working, and worked fast, and he thinks that's exactly what Nami needs right now, not the employee of the month, but one that knows how to do shit fast and properly right from the beginning.

"Then tell him to pass by Bell's tomorrow, at four, and he better not be late," Nami says before opening her book yet again, only this time, she's actually paying attention to the words written on them, so he calls it a win.

.

.

.

"I've found you a job," it's the first thing Law says a few hours later when Shachi opens his apartment door for him. He looks lost and confused, the sleepiness and pillow marks showing on his face.

"What di- what do you mean you find me a job. I wasn't even looking for one," Shachi says and leaves space for Law to enter his apartment, closing the door after him.

"I know," Law says.

"Then, hum, why? I'm really confused right now, Law."

"You said you would go to Bell-mere's every day, remember?" Law said, and Shachi's expression tells him he's trying hard to remember but can't. He doesn't really blame him, Shachi was hungover back then so of course, he doesn't remember shit, Law would actually be surprised if he did. "Well, now you can go every day, and tomorrow you better be there at four."

"Are you really serious about this, Law? You really found me a job without even my consent?"

"As if you can talk about consent."

"Oh please, Law, don't you come here victimize yourself, and don't you compare!" Shachi says, looking offended. "Without your consent, I find you dates, I find you chicks willing to put their hand down your pants. Without my consent, you find me a job. Don't compare the two."

"It's funny how I care about your financial problems more than you."

"It's funny how I care about your sexual problems more than you," Shachi says, bitterly, and Law finds that this is exactly what he needed to get rid of his bad mood, a discussion, a big one where he can spill out everything, even if said discussion is with Shachi. Law knows he doesn't like discussions one slight bit but he couldn't care less right now, Shachi can be annoying when he wants to, so Law has the right to be annoying every once in a while too.

"I don't have sexual problems!" Law bites backs, and it's true, he doesn't. He's sexually active, it's not like it's that hard to find an interested girl on campus but, apparently, Shachi can't see that, or maybe he doesn't share Law's luck, so he just keeps on insisting that Law needs help with this, or needs help with that, and keeps trying to play the role of matchmaker as if he's better than Law at finding girls. Sure, he does find some pretty ones every now and then but Law's sure the joy it gives him to see Shachi's frowning when he declines a date is way better than the joy he would get from the blow jobs the girls would most likely give him.

"And I don't have financial problems either!"

"Okay, fine, whatever. Don't go, I don't care," Law says, which is a lie, he does care, a bit, he wouldn't have recommended him if he didn't. "But next time you ask me if I can buy shit for you, don't expect me to say yes."

"Gosh, you're so vengeful! You know that?" Shachi says, he seems tired so Law doesn't expect the discussion to continue much further. He's actually surprised the old woman that lives next door hasn't come to complain about the noise they're making like she always does when Law comes to Shachi's apartment, even though it's still not that late yet. "Why did you even suggest me? Do you want to have a friend behind the counter? Is that it? You want to have a friend making your coffee so you can have discounts?"

"You're being-"

"Why don't you ask that guy for a discount, I'm sure he would give it to you," Shachi cuts him, thinking his argument was good, not knowing that Luffy already gave him discounts, if one can call free pastries paid in tips discounts, not knowing that, right now, Law couldn't really ask Luffy anything.

Law realizes then it would be easier if he just explained the shit that is happening and that Shachi doesn't even have a clue about, so that's what he does. It's hard to think that Shachi, someone so noisy and knowing about Law's life doesn't know about the stuff Law's been doing lately, about his story with Bell-mere's and it's employees, it's hard to think that his best friend doesn't know shit about a part that as somehow become very important in Law's life, considering he used to know about everything. Law explains the story, not exactly getting into any details, just the important parts, and Shachi listens, his head turned slightly to the side as he eyes him. When he's finished, Shachi keeps staring at him as if wondering how the fuck he managed to not know so much shit about Law's life, and he knows Shachi will start paying more attention from now on because that's just how obsessed with him Shachi actually is. He has a need, a need to know what Law's doing or who Law knows, and Law doesn't mind, most of the time at least, just when he uses the information against him and starts making fun of him with Penguin.

Law watches as he shakes his head and pouts slightly, and the discussion ends there, as Law predicted, but he doesn't mind, he's feeling better already. They end up ordering pizza and start watching movies on Shachi big TV after that, and they only get up from the couch when the pizza's waiting at the door and when they need drinks for it to slide down their throats better.

"You didn't need all that sentimental crap, you know," Shachi tells him while shoving a slice of the second pizza inside of his mouth, "you convinced me when you said there were two chicks needing me. "

Law smiles, because he knows, that's the main reason why he included big boobs in their description.

.

.

.

The next day, Law feels like crap and he's so grateful it's Saturday that he can't even express it in words. He doesn't leave his bed until late in the morning and he regrets drinking those beers with Shachi as he does his way to his bathroom in a hurry. He feels tired, even though he hasn't done anything especially exhausting and has slept well during the last few days. As he looks at himself through the poor excuse of a mirror he owns and that occupies a great part of the small wall of his tiny bathroom, he feels weird. He doesn't know what he's doing with his life anymore, and it's been a while since he felt this useless.

He decides his hair needs a comb, but he's not in the mood to go get one, not right now and not in the near future, so he decides to take a shower, hoping it can look reasonable enough without the accumulated oiliness. He stays under the hot water springs more time than what he should've, momentarily forgetting about the fact that his water bill's increasing and instead taking his time to wash every part of him until he can feel clean and his skin is pinkish.

Law stays inside of his apartment for the rest of the day, focusing on the studies he has been neglecting recently, and skips lunch because he doesn't feel like cooking or ordering anything, also skipping the nap his brain's craving for because he knows he would only wake up on Sunday if he went to sleep and he can't afford it right now, he needs to focus on the papers in front of him, he needs to start stressing about the fact his finals are coming and about the fact the time he has left is just on counting down.

He knows studying with a headache and with an empty stomach isn't the best way of studying, that neither of his professors would be impressed by his study methodology, but he's in college and no one can really blame his study methodology because at least he still has one. Plus, Law does know the key to study properly is to not get too comfortable and too warm while doing it, one should be a bit uncomfortable and with a bit of hunger and a bit of cold to be able to properly study, if not, they're most likely to fall asleep instead, and damn, isn't Law just uncomfortable, hungry and cold as fuck right now.

He doesn't notice the time passing by, in fact, he only notices he has been studying for hours straight when he has to get up from his chair to turn on the lights, the sunlight coming from the window dissolving into darkness as the building in front of his apartment covers the sun. Law feels like he has somehow teleported into the future, as if he just fast forward a few hours, and he finds it to be a weird feeling. His ass's numb and he has to take a few steps around his living room. He goes grab his phone, still forgotten inside of his bedroom and he's not surprised to see eight texts showing on its screen, one from Nami and seven from Shachi.

 **Your friend's late** , it's all Nami's text says. It was sent two hours ago, at 4:02 PM, of course, Shachi's late by those standards, the guy thinks up until half an hour late he's not late at all.

Law checks Shachi's texts after that.

 **Im going now wish me luck** , received at 4:05 PM.

 **Youre supposed to wish me luck asshole** , received at 4:07 PM.

 **NAMIS SO HOT WHY DIDNT I SEE HER LAST TIME** , received at 4:07 PM.

 **Im rll mad at you, friends do introduce hot chicks to each other you know** , received at 4:08 PM.

 **AND SHE HAS A FUCKING SISTER?!** , received at 4:20 PM.

 **I hate you** , received at 5:30 PM.

 **But thanks for the job** _,_  received at 5:31 PM.

Law smiles as he looks down at his phone. Nami didn't say anything more, if Shachi matched her expectations or not, even though he suspects they were probably really low, considering Shachi was late and his friends with him, but at least something Shachi must've done right, or maybe Nami realized she doesn't really have must choice other than him. Either way, Law's happy for Shachi and happy for the fact that Bell-mere's will finally be open again.

He sends a text to Shachi telling him to stop by when his work's done so they can discuss how much of a good friend Law is. He doesn't get a response, and he's not sure if that's because Shachi's ignoring him like he thinks Law did, or because Nami doesn't let him answer his phone. Law suspects it's the later.

He goes back to his studies then, but can't really focus on them anymore. After a while and few read pages later, Law decides to pile all his shit at the end of the table and then makes his way to the kitchen. His fridge is a pure disappointment when he opens it, and his cabinets aren't in a better state, making him wonder when was the last time he went shopping, then realizing he doesn't even remember.

He texts Shachi again, telling him to bring dinner with him and, this time, Shachi does answer him, telling him he's a lazy ass and that he'll take two or so hours until he's out of work. Law doesn't mind that, he doesn't mind the fact he has two hours to kill without having anything to do at all. He's tired of studying, his head hurts like hell and, for the first time, Law really doesn't have anything to do, anything he needs to get done. He contemplates the idea of going to Bell-mere's, but what for, he's not really craving for coffee and he's still too stubborn to order food in Nami's presence. He doesn't necessarily need internet, and it's not like he enjoys Nami's or Nojiko's company or conversations that much.

 _You could go see Luffy_ , his mind tells him, but again, what for, Nami's not there for once, needing to be persuaded to go outside, and neither is Nojiko, waiting on the parking lot and probably glaring at the hospital's building in front of her, so it's not like he really has a reason to be there, and it's not like Law enjoys Luffy's conversations more than what he enjoys the two sisters' ones since he isn't even awake.

He decides to go shopping, even though he's not at all looking forward to the noise and lights of the supermarket just down the street, and neither is his head, but he needs essential supplies, he guesses. Shachi will bring dinner but he will still need food for tomorrow too, so he goes, and hopes he will be back before Shachi arrives at his doorstep, Law will be damned if the guy finds out he went shopping because he had no food in the fridge.

The supermarket is as overcrowded like he suspected it to be, considering it's Saturday. Apparently, everyone does their shopping on fucking Saturday. The place's bright, too bright, and it would remind him of the hospital's white lights if it wasn't for the fact there were thousands of plaques and posters of promotions and sales hanging on in every aisle. The music is the first thing that annoys him, and it starts the moment the doors slide open in front of him. He grabs a cart and starts shoving everything that he thinks looks tasty or just because it looks good inside. He's hungry, he shouldn't be shopping right now, he broke so many rules of how to do things properly today that it's frustrating just to think about it, first it was with his study methodology, now with his shopping habits. He doesn't feel like a functional human being anymore.

In half an hour, Law has seen what the whole place has to offer and has his car full to the very top. He has the brief feeling that he's forgetting about something, but since he doesn't have a list or remembers what's at the bottom of the cart, he doesn't have the slightest idea of what it might be. When he reaches the cashier, there's a huge line in front of him and he can't suppress an exasperated sigh from leaving his mouth as he makes his way to the very end of it. A few moments later, he's seriously pondering of whether or not to just leave the damned cart forgotten in a corner and go home empty-handed, but that would mean he just wasted almost an hour inside of the supermarket, throwing inside the cart things that he's sure will be forgotten as soon as he packs them on his cabinets and he hates the idea of wasting time, or at least, he hates the idea of recognizing he has just wasted his time unproductively, although if he waits more he will at least have some unhealthy food to fill his fridge and stomach for a couple of days.

Law's lost in thought when someone hits his back with a cart. He really wanted to know the reason why people keep bumping on him, so much so that it's like he's a human magnet. It's not enough to hurt him, after all, he's more than used to be punched and shoved accidentally by now, but it's enough for him to turn around and glare at whoever is behind him.

There's a green-haired girl looking straight at him, leaning against her cart that is still way closer to Law than what he would like. She doesn't look apologetic at all, in fact, her smirk tells him it wasn't even accidental.

"Hey there," she says.

"Do I know you?" Law asks instead and can almost feel the blow that Shachi, or even Penguin, would most likely give him if they were there.  _What a way to treat a girl, dumbass,_  they would most likely say.

For some reason, her smirk grows bigger. "We weren't formally introduced," she says, her voice honeyed, "you were at the party I hosted, but left before I could say hi."

 _Oh_. Law remembers her, okay not really, he has never seen her before, but the remembers Shachi saying something about the party's host, Monet or something.

"I didn't stay long," Law ends up saying.

"I know," she reaches out her hand in front of him. "I'm Monet."

Law smirks then, not because of her but because he remembered her name. "I'm-"

"Trafalgar Law," she cuts him, "I know," she leans over her cart more, leaning over her forearms and resting his head on her left hand. Law doesn't miss the fact her breasts are squeezed together, barely fitting inside her caved tank top while on that position, and she doesn't miss the direction his eyes went either. "I was looking forward to meeting you at the party. Guess in the supermarket works just as fine."

"Guess so," Law mutters, and the fucking line that has to be the slowest ever. He takes a look at her cart and he's surprised to see mostly green inside, full of a huge variety of fruits, vegetables and good things to one's health. When Law looks back at his cart, he realizes he doesn't have any.

Monet starts talking again, and only stops when it's Law turn to be attended. She tells him they share a bunch of classes, a thing he already knew, and that she first heard about him when Shachi came to her and started rambling about him. Fucking Shachi, he has to be everywhere.

For some reason, Law ends up waiting for her outside, his arms full of bags, and when she passes through the slid open doors, she seems pleased to see him waiting, but not surprised. They exchange numbers before parting ways, and okay, maybe his shopping trip wasn't such a waste of time he thought it would be, he even managed to arrive at his apartment way before Shachi did, and had time to pack everything on their rightful places in his kitchen.

When Shachi arrives, he brings Penguin and too many pizza boxes with him. Law wants to complain, to tell him that they ate pizza yesterday too, but then both Penguin and Shachi almost punch him, stating that Law had to tell them about Nami and Nojiko's existence, that it was his obligation has a friend and that makes Law laugh, makes him laughs so hard whit Shachi and Penguin running after him that his face and belly hurt. And it's good, it's a good feeling.

The three of them end up sleeping in Law's living room, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and with the TV still on.

.

.

.

The next day, Penguin wakes him up with a plate full of burned pancakes in front of his face, but they're reasonable, the middle part at least, if he puts more syrup than the normal dose. He ends up going with Shachi to Bell-mere's after, and Nami crosses her arms underneath her breasts and glares at them both when they open the door, the small bell tingling on the top of their heads, and Law didn't realize how much he missed that stupid thing until then.

"Good morning, Nami!" Shachi kind of sings, his voice shrill and high pitched as usual. A few heads turn in their direction and then back at their food and coffee.

"You're late," she says, glaring at him, then at Law, " _again_."

Shachi just grins, big and bright, as he makes his way around the counter, like a kid opening his Christmas presents, and Law follows him but then turns to Nami and orders coffee. The words feel foreign as they leave his mouth and he feels happy for the fact that he helped the Bell-mere's open again. Nami watches as Shachi starts making his coffee, like a hawk watching its prey, waiting for him to screw up one way or another but, when he doesn't, she turns to Law again to take the money from his hand.

"How was the reopening?" Law asks her.

"Busy," she says, sounds tired, but the good kind of tired, one that tells him she had her hands full with work, not restless and stressed due to the hospital.

"That's good," he says and Nami just rolls her eyes dramatically, but there's a small smile playing on her lips and Shachi's watching them instead of focusing on the coffee machines in front of him. He hands Law his coffee with a jealous frown that makes Law almost laugh.

Law stays by the counter, leaning against it with his coffee between his hands. There's no one in line, so he guesses Nami doesn't mind if he stays that way, watching the customers, some with faces Law has become an acquaintance to and others that are new to him, watching as they readjust and include Bell-mere's back in their routines once more. Little do they know that Law has helped, little to they know they should be thanking him for the coffee they're drinking, for the chairs where they're seating and for the internet they're using.

He looks at his spot and is surprised to see it occupied by two girls surrounded by papers and looking stressed and, for the first time, he finds that he doesn't care. Maybe that's because he relates to them with both the stress and the papers accumulated, or maybe that's because he's in a good mood today and doesn't want to go sit there anyway. Whatever the case is, he finds it funny how they almost take their hair off their head, how they almost groan in frustration, and it makes him wonder if that's what he looks like.

"I'm considering putting a couch or something on that corner," Nami says behind him and Law turns to look at her. "So that all your nerdy asses can get more comfortable."

That would be good, really good, and also strangely kind coming from her. "I doubt I would find an empty space on that couch to put my ass on if it was there though."

"Yeah, probably," Nami says, smiling, "I'll figure something out. After all, you are my favorite customer."

Law smiles at her, "I better be."

.

.

.

Law's having a good day, and there are rare times where he feels lucky, and today's one of those times, so he tries his luck at the hospital but doesn't get past the lobby. He doesn't really know why he thought he would get a card, to be honest, it's Sunday after all, and everyone comes to visit their relatives and friends at the hospital on Sundays. He feels like the woman in the reception is starting to take pity on him, every time Law goes ask for a card, after spending an eternity in line, she's always the one that tells him there are no cards available. She must recognize his face by now.

He's on his way home when his phone rings, making everyone inside the bus beside him jump in surprise. Law's only mildly surprised when he sees Monet's name flashing on its screen, and only mildly surprised when she asks him if he wants to go and grab a pizza with her, as if this wouldn't be the third night in a row he eats pizza, as if Law likes pizza that much to eat it every day, as if he's not sick of it by now. As if she knows any of that really. But he goes anyway, and they end up eating in a cozy and small restaurant that smelled like fries and ketchup and Law actually has a good time, considering Monet does most of the talking, but she's smart and talks about interesting things too, so he doesn't mind.

When they're finished, they leave together and decide to go and drive a bit around town, it being a bit late and most of the roads being almost deserted. Law doesn't own a car, but Monet does, a white and very ugly thing on the outside, but quite spacious on the inside as Law later found out when both of them climbed into the back seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to apologize, even if what you did wrong was unintentional. If you don't know how to, then learn. It's a horrible thing when someone recognizes that they had acted badly and still don't apologize for it. Always apologize for what you've done wrong, and make your apologies count.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter^^

A week passes by and Law barely notices it. He has met more people in those short seven days than in great part of his life. He has somehow made his way through Luffy's circle of friends, may it be while making small talk to break the tension inside Luffy's room, or while waiting in the lobby for their turn and cards.

They're all so different, from each other and from him, and it's all so disconcerting that sometimes Law just wants to run off. He feels out of place, so much that it's hard to put in words. He has felt out of place before, who hasn't really, during parties where he didn't know anyone else other than Shachi and Penguin and when he ended up having a date with a random girl instead of one of his friends at lunch. But nothing like this. Law doesn't share the moments they share with Luffy, doesn't share their bonds and memories, doesn't share their pain and suffering because Law's not Luffy's friend and all his moments with him englobe the Bell-mere's, pastries, coffee and a lot of bad mood from Law's part and joy from Luffy's. But Law's sad too, in a weird way that he can't quite explain. He's not wandering around with blank face and puffy eyes, he doesn't sigh every two seconds, he doesn't stare into the void and circle around in the lobby, he doesn't sit with a whole group on the overly used plastic chairs to remember and share past memories or to try and make a plan for how the hell they will help Luffy cope with all this shit once he wakes up. He's not them, but he feels sadness too, in his own way.

Law hears their stories and can't help but feel a bit jealous because when they ask him what he used to do with Luffy he just responds he used to put food in front of him with a pun written on a piece of paper. Law hears their plans and can't help but think that none of the stuff they're saying would be in any way recomforting, but he doesn't know Luffy as they do, he doesn't know what he likes and what he dislikes, what makes him sad and what cheers him up.

He doesn't know  _shit_.

But, God, he wants to help him too, he wants to help him so much it surprises him. He doesn't know if that's due to the fact that he misses the joy Luffy used to irradiate and he's sick of seeing him laying in the same bed, day after day, breathing loudly through the ventilator and surrounded by machines and the noises they make, doesn't know if that's due to the fact that Luffy's friends want to help him is so contagious, doesn't know if that's due to the fact that he's tired of seeing Shachi being behind the counter, using Luffy's uniform but not at all resembling him.

He has never felt as clueless as he feels now. He finds himself glaring at random people more often than not and for no reason at all, his throat gets tight whenever he hears Luffy's name and it just feels like a black cloud keeps following him around, blocking the sun and the colors of the spring flowers that have finally bloomed.

He remembers the excitement he felt the first time he went visiting Luffy, remembers how he just had eyes to all the machines and the nurses and doctors walking around, too mesmerized by all the ambiance to even pay that much attention to Luffy who was the main reason why he was there in the first place, even if he keeps telling him he just went because of Nami and Nojiko. Remembers how in the first days he wasn't really that worried about Luffy's condition, remembers that he thought he would wake up and recover in no time, that he thought the real problem would come after he woke up, after he discovered what happened to him and to his brother, remembers thinking it would be the main problem and that, by the time that problem finally arrived, he would back off and let his friends help him, but now he feels stupid about his thoughts, feels  _bad_.

As the days passed, Law stayed in the hospital, kept going visit Luffy and sometimes stayed in his room while he knew some of Luffy's friends were in the lobby, just waiting for a card, even though he promised himself that he would never take visiting time from one of Luffy's friends. He stayed there and met his friends, heard their stories, even comforted a few of them with kind words and light pats on their backs, stayed there and didn't complain when they added him to their facebook's chat group, added him to their plans to help with Luffy's recover and to the schedule where everyone had a specific hour to come, just to not unnecessarily overcrowd the hospital's lobby and to make sure Luffy's bedroom had at least one person all the time, ready for when he woke up. Law didn't complain at all when all of them opened a gap in their circle for him to join in without any hesitation.

And sometimes he regrets ever accepting to make a part of it because, if he didn't, he wouldn't have the need to go to the hospital every day, wouldn't need to acknowledge the fact that Luffy should've woken up days ago and still hasn't, wouldn't ever meet Zoro or Usopp, or Franky or Robin, or anyone else, wouldn't know Luffy's dog is under Usopp's care and that he whines every day when he realizes Luffy isn't coming to bring him home with him for yet another day, wouldn't know Luffy's brother was cremated and that his remains are just waiting for Luffy to wake up so he can throw them into the ocean, just like Ace apparently always rambled about wanting. And Law starts feeling anxious more often than not whenever he looks at Luffy's unconscious body because he thought he would've woken by now, but now he's afraid he never will, or worse, that he wakes up and is not the Luffy everyone knows anymore.

Shachi keeps coming to his apartment, day after day, and Law doesn't mind it as much as he should because while shit happened around him, Shachi kept unaffected, even though he works with Nami and Nojiko, and him being around is such a breath of fresh air that Law sometimes feels overwhelmed by Shachi's capacity to distract him with the most mundane things one can imagine.

One day, he brought alcohol with him, bottles and bottles of beer and a few of vodka, stating that he was in the mood to get a bit light-headed and forget about college for a few hours. He asked if Law also wanted to participate, or if he only wanted to play the responsible part instead of the funny one. Law discorded, for him, being drunk is not at all funny, he loses his senses and his filter and starts rambling about whatever the hell comes to his mind, not minding if it was a secret or a very personal and embarrassing information about himself, and let's not forget the headaches and nausea that come after, but even so, Law abdicated of his usual responsible role and entered Shachi's fun, only to drink twice as him.

He doesn't remember most of the things he said, or most of the things he has done but, once he wakes up in the living room, his apartment seems to still be in one piece and he and Shachi end up eating a whole box of cereal afterwards. Whatever he may have said that could possibly embarrass him, or Shachi doesn't remember too or he decided to not mention it.

Monet subtly invites him over one day after telling him she's alone in her house and with an inexplicable desire to watch a movie. He was just leaving the hospital after Robin came to take his place. She tried to make small talk with him before he left the room, but her eyes and tone of voice are so disconcerting that Law's uncomfortable every time she just greets him.

At the end of the day, Law's actually surprised that he still remembers most of the way to Monet's house and freak ass neighborhood. Needless is to say that they end up not watching a movie at all.

.

.

.

It's Wednesday late afternoon when Nami calls. Law was in the shower when he heard his phone ringing and didn't think much about it at first, thought it was probably just Shachi asking if he could come and hang out, but when he left the bathroom, towel still around his waist and hair dripping wet, and saw Nami's name written across his phone's screen, his breath got caught in his throat. He returned the call right away, but it was her turn to not answer it. So he calls her again, and again, and again, but she doesn't answer any of them.

His breath gets uneven and he can feel his heart hammering against his ribcage. His soaked hair keeps dripping drops onto his phone's screen and onto his shoulders. Thoughts keep coming to his brain, bad thoughts, horrible thoughts until all he can think about his Luffy, Luffy,  _Luffy_.

He goes to his room and grabs the first clothes he sees, leaving his apartment while in the process of putting his shirt on and he sprints, oh if he sprints, down the stairs because he couldn't bare to wait for the elevator, and on the street, maneuvering through the people coming towards him. He arrives at the Bell-mere's, tired and out of breath, but only Shachi's there, taking the order of an old man.

"Where's Nami-ya?" Law asks, coming to the counter and making the old man jump a bit.

Shachi hands the customer his coffee before turning his attention to Law. "Nami and Nojiko went to the hospital and left me here, all by myself, can you believe it? The pastries are running out and-"

"Why?" Law interrupts him. "Tell me why, Shachi."

"Because of Luffy, of course, he's awake or something. But what is wrong with you, Law? Are you feeling okay?-" Law hears him, until he doesn't anymore. Suddenly, his ears don't catch the sound of the words coming out of Shachi's mouth _. Luffy's awake_ , it's all that crosses his mind,  _he's awake._  And Law smiles until he's grinning, and he doesn't even know why.

Luffy's awake.

Suddenly he's not tired anymore and he runs out of the coffee shop with Shachi yelling "Don't go now, everyone is there!" at his back, and Law laughs, out loud and like a maniac, right in the middle of the street because of course everyone's there, Luffy's awake, does Shachi even know how many people must be there, does he even know how many people must be smiling right now because of this? Does he even- no, he doesn't, he doesn't know anything about Luffy, he doesn't know shit, but that doesn't matter, because Luffy's awake now.

He catches a cab and soon enough he's heading towards the hospital, but it's a long way and the traffic is slow and it doesn't take that long for Law's brain to start to think and overthink. Nami called, once, and didn't answer his four calls after. She told him to call her in case Luffy waked up in his turn, and he told her to do the same if it was in her turn, but it wasn't in her turn, because she was at Bell-mere's, so someone warned her too.

He tries to call her again, only for her not answering the fucking phone again,  _maybe she left it in the car_ , his positive part of his brain tells him, but that's highly improbable, she always carries her phone around and even got more paranoid with always keeping it in hand reach after Luffy's accident, and the line isn't occupied, or the phone turned off, it just isn't answered.

He feels his smile dropping and his frown taking over as the bad thoughts are back in full force. Something happened, something bad.

Law tries to imagine what happened. Luffy waking up must've terrified the person who has inside the bedroom with him, having to be the one explaining everything to him was one hell of a task, Law just hopes it was someone careful with the words. And after the explanation, Law doesn't even want to imagine. Luffy must've felt so disoriented, so out of place after waking up after weeks unconscious, surrounded by beeps and with a ventilator covering his mouth and nose and suddenly without a brother. Luffy must've felt so lost after hearing what happened.

He leaves the cab as soon as he's close enough to the hospital, not minding doing the rest of the way by foot. The happiness and excitement are gone and left a hole in his stomach, so he doesn't sprint or run to the hospital, just walks, because he's sure he won't like what he will see there.

Shachi was right, so right when he said everyone was in the hospital. It's even more people than what Law has met and they're all gathered in the small green area just outside the lobby's main doors. Law sees the group from afar, a big group of people talking way too loudly, they're not that hard to recognize. He wonders if they were kicked out of the lobby, or if they decided to go outside voluntary so they could talk freely.

He approaches them and sees as not even one face is smiling like he first thought they would be. They all look tense and scared. It's not that hard to find Nami and Nojiko either and they both seem surprised to see him there.

"Why didn't you answered my calls?" Law asks Nami when all she does is look at him with her big eyes.

"I, hum. Sorry, my phone's lost somewhere inside my purse," she says, motioning to her big ass purse currently on the ground, the top of if leaning and touching her legs.

"What happened? Why is everyone here at-" Law starts, but is cut short when she starts dragging him by his arm and only stops when there's enough distance between them and the group for them to be able to talk properly.

And so Nami starts explaining it all, starts explaining how Zoro was the one that was inside of Luffy's room when he started coming back to conscience and had to deal with the whole situation of being the carrier of the bad news. Law feels bad for Zoro, doing what the guy had to do was the only part Law wasn't at all looking forward to, telling the bad news to someone you don't know must be horrible and he can only imagine how it feels like if the someone is one of your best friends. Law's glad it was Zoro, even though he doesn't really know the guy that well Law can easily see how strong his friendship with Luffy must be, he must've known how to approach the whole situation, or so Law hopes, but he's even gladder that Zoro's a strong guy when Nami tells him how Luffy had to be sedated right after he woke up and that if it wasn't for Zoro, the three nurses wouldn't be able to get a grip on Luffy by themselves and Luffy's wounds would've eventually opened up. Law doesn't want to think what would've happened if Zoro wasn't there.

Law follows the finger Nami lifts after ending her explanation and sees Zoro at the end of it, sitting in one of the few wooden benches that small green area has, elbows on his knees and fingers tangled under his chin. He looks shocked and sweaty, his shirt is a mess with a few red stains on it. He remembers then Nami commenting one night, during a very long phone call, about the amount of time Zoro spent inside Luffy's room, even though she couldn't be that far behind, remembers telling her to tell him just how unhealthy that was, and hoped she also took the hint for herself. At the time, Law didn't really care about Zoro's actions, he gave no shits about him, but it was hard to tell Nami to shut up, to stop rambling and monologuing about the mess all of their lives turned into. Now though, Law does feel genuinely bad for Zoro.

They approach the group again then, Nami redirecting towards her sister and Law going to sit next to Zoro. They don't say anything to each other, Zoro doesn't even glance at him or acknowledge his presence, in fact, the guy just comes out of his bubble when Robin comes with news, her being the one that stayed in the lobby for when the doctors came downstairs.

She tells them Luffy's okay, sedated, but okay, and that he won't be receiving more visits until the next day. Some of Luffy's friends get exalted and start asking her question after question to which she has no answers to most of them, and Law wants to slap them, punch them until he feels their noses breaking under his fist. They should be glad none of Luffy's wounds opened and not angry because they can't see him, that's selfish, so selfish.

Eventually, some start to say their goodbyes and walk away, and then it doesn't take long for the others to do the same. Nojiko asks if he wants a ride, which he accepts immediately. Her car was parked at the very end of the hospital's parking lot and she and her sister wave at their friends driving past them. Nojiko's car had even more crap than what he remembers it to have and he has to crawl to the backseat after letting Nami arranging all the papers and journals and maps lying around until he has a small place to seat.

As he suspected, Nojiko doesn't drive as fast when Nami's seating beside her than what she does when alone. The ride home's quiet, too quiet for Law's liking, he can feel the tension and see Nami's frown reflected in the window's glass, but he doesn't say anything, only tells them he lives next to Bell-mere's and gives Nojiko directions when needed. He thanks them before stepping out of the car.

He takes his time getting to his apartment afterwards.

.

.

.

It's weird how as soon as Luffy's able to receive visitors, all the plans and schedules his friends made go completely forgotten. Now there isn't such thing as  _this hour is yours, next one is mine_ , and there also isn't such thing as  _I'll warn everyone in the chat group if I'm in Luffy's room_  either. Now it's everyone by themselves and, after the seventh time that Law gets to the hospital and has no card to visit Luffy, no matter how long he waits in the lobby, he gets tired of it. And so he just quits going there altogether. He can see Luffy when he's back home or, if not, he can see him when he's back at Bell-mere's instead. Until then, he has to deal with Shachi that really tries to be comprehensive and to cheer him up, for whatever reason, but only gets him more annoyed. He just drinks coffee and doesn't even look at the display and, eventually, he's not craving for sugar anymore and feels his weight dropping back to normal.

He never catches Nami behind the counter and doesn't see Nojiko coming out of the kitchen with her pastries on her hand, so Shachi's the one that sometimes tells him what's happening with Luffy, and even if the information isn't really that much, it's welcome nevertheless.

Nami made sure to tell Shachi he would be fired as soon as Luffy was ready to start working again, and he didn't make a drama out of it, mostly because Law had already warned him about the exact same fact even before Shachi got the job, but it would still take some time until Luffy's ready for that, so Nami likes to keep Shachi updated, and he doesn't mind to update Law too.

Shachi tells him over the week how Luffy's condition gets better and better, how Ace's death apparently sunk in and how he got transferred from the ICU to another room. Law wonders how he's dealing with it though, and that's something Shachi can't tell him, wonders if Luffy likes having all his friends around, all at the same time, being loud and occupying most of the chairs in the lobby, wonders if Luffy likes all the ins and outs of his room and all the repetitive questions that Law's sure his friends keep asking, wonders if Luffy likes all that. He must appreciate knowing so many people care about him and are there whenever he needs, but he also must feel overwhelmed, suffocated with all that simultaneous support.

Law doesn't like to think about Luffy, it distracts him from his studies and gets him mad, and he doesn't have time for distractions, not with the finals just around the corner, so he studies, and studies and studies a bit more and the days pass by in a blur of letters and information and images of the insides of the human body. He goes to Bell-mere's and drinks three or four coffee in two hours because Shachi doesn't care how much caffeine Law puts inside his system, him being also too glued to his books to even fully notice Law's orders.

Law sits in his corner, surrounded by papers and books and occasionally his computer. Nami still hasn't put the couch there, like she said she would do for his nerdy ass, so Law has to sit in that freaking chair that starts to get uncomfortable if used for too long, but he doesn't mind, he doubts the thought of putting a couch in the corner of her coffee shop has even crossed Nami's brain at the moment.

Shachi comes and sits in front of him whenever there aren't any customers to be attended, and keeps silent and focused on the notes that Law has laying around, as if trying to memorize everything in one go, and it's okay, the thoughts about Luffy start getting fewer and fewer, mixed inside his brain along with all the things he needs to memorize if he wants to get over finals. And, eventually, he stops thinking about him altogether, it's not like he could do anything for him, it's not like it's right for him to take the place beside Luffy of one of his friends, he reminds himself, although he takes him some time to really convince himself of that fact.

Of course, that is until he spots red hair behind the counter.

Law's not sure why, but the first thought that crosses his mind when he saw her is to turn away, to run back to where he came from and come again another time, but he doesn't, he steps forward and every time his feet touch the wooden floor his frown deepens.

"Hey there, Law," Nami greets him with a small smile. He notices the bags underneath her eyes, along with her lack of makeup. He has always seen her with flawless skin and long eyelashes, not with red spots here and there and with her eyes with nothing on them.

"Yeah, hey there Law!" Shachi greets him too, the counter in front of him with three opened books, and he doesn't pay more attention than that to Law.

Law nods at them both and lets Nami make his coffee before asking if she can join him for a moment. She looks around the coffee shop, a few people are sat and reading the newspaper, others talking. No one comes in so she nods and goes around the counter.

"Tell me how he is," Law says as soon as he sits in his chair, she sitting in front of him. She tells him and doesn't stop until a group of teenagers enter through the door, the bell tingling above the first one as he opens the door and holds it for his friends to enter, and then she's out to go help Shachi.

Luffy keeps getting better and better apparently, at least physically. She said he stopped being dizzy and disoriented due to all the medication, but that sometimes his chest hurt so much that the doctors have to give him medication that makes him sleepy, said that he started walking aroud the corridor too, back and forward, whenever he's feeling better and bored.

And said Luffy asked for him when he found Law had been there when he was unconscious.

It makes his heart feels heavier inside of his chest, and his ribcage doesn't seem to be large enough for his lungs to expand properly. He looks at Nami and Shachi, both busy attending annoying and indecisive teens, and he feels angry, with them but mostly with himself, and he doesn't even know why. He hates the fact that he doesn't know why he's angry anymore, hates the fact he gets angry so easily nowadays. Luffy asked for him because Law was there when he was unconscious but isn't now that he's awake. Fucking hell.

He checks the time on his phone. He still has time, sometime at least, if he counts how long it will take to get to the hospital, so he packs his things and leaves the Bell-mere's, his coffee half drank still on top of his table. He enters a cab and, this time, he doesn't let his mind think about what he's doing, about how he will get there and don't get past the lobby like the other seven times he tried to. He goes because Luffy asked for him, and when one who's in the hospital asks for you, you shouldn't think twice before going, because it may as well be the last time you see them.

And it's so weird how he doesn't pay much attention to his surroundings as he makes his way to the hospital after he leaves the cab, it's weird how he already knows the way too damn well, it's weird how he enters and notices the lobby mostly empty, the visiting time almost over, it's weird how he approaches the receptionist and how she actually looks surprised that she has a card to hand him instead of apologizing for not having one.

Luffy's room is in a different place now though, the post-critical unit being on the second floor. Law takes the elevator and looks at the number in the card more times than what he needs to, as if he will suddenly forget about it after five seconds.

Finding Luffy's room is relatively easy, it's the third door on the right of a very long hallway. The room is not as white or as noisy as the other one, doesn't have nearly half of the machines the other had, and neither does Luffy's have any attached to his body. He's laying on his side when Law steps inside the room, looking small and pale. There's another bed right next to Luffy's, but it's empty, the sheets folded at the end of it.

Law approaches him as silently as he can manage, trying to make the less amount of echo with every step as possible. He's sleeping, his breath heavy and stable.

Nami's words play over his mind, "sometimes his chest hurts so much that the doctor gives him enough pills to give him an overdose, and then he's sleepy and only wakes up the next day. We prefer to leave him alone when that happens, let him sleep like he needs to."

_That's why no one's here_ , Law thinks as he sits in the empty bed. Luffy's hair is a mess, Law notices, and needs a desperate comb too. It covers most of Luffy's face and his pillow and the blackness of it only makes him look paler. Law can see his cheekbones, salient, can see how the scar underneath his eye seems bigger and can see how thin he is just by looking at the arm he has on top of the covers, can see his veins, a mix of blue and purple. Luffy was never fat, he was slim and short but Law could see the muscles on his forearms as he made his coffees, could see the shape of the muscles on his back whenever he turned around, could see his clavicles when he didn't button up his uniform all the way up. Now though, it seems like his muscles have been drained out of his body.

He looks around the room again then. There some balloons attached to the end of Luffy's bed saying  _get well soon_ , a few comic books and a mp3 on top of the bedside table in between the two beds. The other one is full of papers, all handwritten, and envelops with Luffy's name on them. Law suspects those are the letters everyone agreed with writing, to show Luffy their support and tell something personal. Law sighs. He didn't write anything, even though he was present when everyone agreed into writing them, he didn't object, but what would he say anyway to oppose anyway? He doesn't have a special thing with Luffy, a special handshake or internal joke, he doesn't have past references worked mentioning, nothing.

_The puns_ , Law realizes, they have the puns. Law doesn't know if Luffy just uses them with him or with everyone else too, but it was a pun and a waffle that started it all and he feels ridiculous when he opens his backpack and takes out a pen and one of the big post-its he uses to write short and important notes. It's not a yellow colored one like the ones Luffy used, it's light green, but he guesses it doesn't matter what color the damn paper is.

At first, he's not sure of what he should write, he doesn't use puns, but Shachi and Penguin have been coming up with new ones every so often and randomly during the day ever since they all went to have the hungover breakfast and Luffy decided to still give Law his yellow paper, but the ones they use are horrible, and Luffy's ones are about food, and he's not using those under these circumstances.

Then he looks at Luffy's arm again, thin and pale, just like a bone.

A nurse comes not long after and tells Law it's time to go home, she gives him a small smile before leaving the room again and Law leaves right after, looking at the back of Luffy's head and at the post-it note, now stick to one of Luffy's comic books, before doing so.

**_You're going tibia okay._ **

_._

_._

_._

It's three in the morning when Shachi calls him, drunk and lost somewhere in the city. Law groans and calls a cab and is so exhausted he almost falls asleep again before they can answer the call. He puts on some pants and shoes and doesn't bother in changing the t-shirt. He makes the taxi driver drive around the city, following some mild sense directions, for at least one hour, looking for Shachi until he sees the guy, sat on a bench right beside the road. Law comes out of the cab and almost punches him because Shachi's so immature and reckless but, when he looks at him with big and lost eyes, Law doesn't do anything more than help him climb in the cab's backseat.

The process is the same as always, he takes Shachi home with him so he can keep an eye on his sorry ass over the remaining few hours. He hates when Shachi acts like this, when he's so stupid and childish, but Law likes the feeling when he's helping him out of the cab and onto the elevator, when he's helping him enter his apartment and lay on the couch. He likes it when he's being useful, when he's needed, likes to actually have an idea of what he's doing instead of just improvise and follow the flow like he's been doing lately, likes it when he's being helpful to others while pushing his abilities further and further, likes it when his friends rely on him, even if that happens at the most inconvenient times and if he keeps saying the contrary.

Shachi once told him he only felt that way because, deep down, he had a caretaker personality and that he couldn't control himself whenever there was a damsel in distress, which is ridiculous. He doesn't like helping others just for the sake of helping others, Law's not like that, he's selfish, he likes to help others because he likes even more the feeling of power that comes with it, the power over someone's life, knowing that someone's depending on him, owning him one, makes him feel a lot more alive himself.

But, the next morning, by the time he has to wake Shachi up so they can go and eat breakfast at the Bell-mere's and for him to not be late to work, Law feels weird and empty all over again and not one slight bit powerful. The food is delicious as always, but Shachi barely touches it. Nami's behind the counter and gives Shachi a small lecture before deciding he's already suffering too much due to his own stupidity an even Nojiko comes out of the kitchen to mock him about his night habits until she's forced to go back inside.

Law goes and takes the plates and the mugs to the counter, leaving Shachi sat and with his fists rubbing his red and watery eyes. Nami stops him before he has time to back off and raises her phone, right in front of his face.  **Tell him thank you** , it's all the text on her phone's screen says. It doesn't mention Law's name or what he did to be thanked for, but somehow Nami figured out it was for him.

"I don't know what you did, but keep doing it," she tells him before grabbing the dirty plates and mugs and taking them to the kitchen.

Law lets out a little laugh before he goes get Shachi, who can't even stand on his own feet properly. He's lucky, Nami gave him the day out due to how miserable his state is with only a warning of not getting used to it and that next time it will get discounted on his salary. He takes him back to his apartment, stumbling through the street. Shachi's car is still somewhere in the city but none of them is in the mood to go search for it. It can be handled later on or even the next day.

Shachi goes straight to Law's bedroom as soon as he unlocks the front door, closing the blinds until the room gets as dark as it can possibly get at that hour of the day. Law knows Shachi's intending on sleeping on his bed, but he can't bring himself to care. He doesn't know what happened in whatever party Shachi was involved, he still hasn't told him and Law doesn't feel like it's time to start asking questions. It must've been something new though, something Shachi wasn't prepared for if the fact he called Law all lost and scared is anything to go by.

He knows Shachi won't repeat it, whatever it was.

The idea of sleeping then sounds so appealing and so tempting to Law, just go inside his dark bedroom and lie on the bed beside Shachi, stay there and just wake up the next morning, it sounds such a good idea. He doesn't even care that Shachi would most likely get all touchy and hug him like he's some sort of pillow somewhere after he's fast asleep, they could easily forget about it, pretend it didn't happen once they both wake up. It wouldn't be uncomfortable, neither of them would have enough energy to be uncomfortable with one another really, at least not with the bad mood both of them have.

So that's what Law does, he enters his bedroom and lays down next to Shachi. It doesn't take long for his eyes to adjust to the darkness and, eventually, he can see the contour of Shachi's face, his eyes shiny and looking straight at him.

"I know I'm responsible and all, but the responsibility doesn't get along with my wallet that well, Shachi," Law tells him and it's the truth, all the times he has to rely on a cab it costs him a painfully big amount of money.

"I'm sorry, Law, I won't do that again," Shachi says, his voice low and rough.

"You better don't."

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.

.

The days pass and Law doesn't do much. His spring break starts and he manages his time between his apartment and the Bell-mere's.

Nami calls every night and does a monologue that lasts for at least an hour each time. She talks about Luffy, about her concerns once it's okay for him to leave the hospital and go back home, talks about how scared she is about what Luffy might do because Ace's bedroom will be right there, along with all his things and all the memories they once shared. She tells him she knows how strong Luffy is, but how he tends to neglect himself, how he tends to not really care and talk to his friends about how he's feeling, about how he tends to accumulate everything inside of him, and Law can't quite blame him, he gets annoyed when Shachi and Penguin keep mocking him, telling him to sleep and sometimes to eat and to get out and interact with people, especially during the finals' week or similar stressing periods of time. Law can only imagine what it would be like if he had a whole group of friends doing the same.

And, eventually, Luffy does leave the hospital, and Nami's fears take place.

"I had a fight with him," she tells him one night and it doesn't surprise him, with all their talking Law noticed pretty fast how Luffy was starting to get under everyone's nerves, noticed how it would only be a matter of time before the discussions started to take place, and in a way Law senses that Luffy's just trying to push everyone back, trying to get some personal space now that he's at home and has a door he can close and block out the world, but his friends keep refusing and clinging even more onto him.

They only talk for half an hour that night, but he feels like the phone call lasted way longer. Nami ends up relieving all his frustration and stress on him in one go, and Law's so glad that they are on opposite sides of a phone call, otherwise, he would most likely receive a few punches, even if her anger is not directed to him. He doesn't know why Nami chose him to unburden from all people, since he never gave her advice or told her comforting and supporting words, he just heard her rambling nonstop, nothing more, and maybe that's only what she needed, a person whom she could spill all her worries and that wouldn't interfere with her anger, call her out on that, maybe she just needed a person that would hear her, or maybe she just needed a person, someone, anyone, maybe she didn't need those pieces of advice or supporting words anyway, maybe she has had enough of them already. Or maybe she just needed someone out of Luffy's circle of friends to whom she could just ramble about how mad she is about Luffy's attitudes, just how sad she is with everything that has happened to him, just how useless she feels for not being able to help him properly, maybe she just needed someone who would hear without criticizing her.

So that's what Law's gives her every night. He gives her his full attention and silence and lets her spill everything out, because that's all he can give her.

"Have you tried going to his house?" Law asked one night, just so Nami could catch her breath.

"I have," she told him after a while, her voice low, "but he never opens the door when he realizes it's me. I know he's inside, he just never lets me in."

He wishes then he could give her some sort of advice, but he doubts telling her to force her way in next time Luffy doesn't answer her calls and doesn't open his door, or that next time she should go for the window and forget about the door altogether is going to help much. Luffy could live at the very top of a very high building for all he knows, so Law keeps his mouth shut and goes to sleep after she ends the call.

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.

The next day, it's eleven in the morning when Law wakes up. There is the alert of three new texts showing on his phone's screen, forgotten all night on the couch. Two from Nami and one from Penguin. He sees Penguin's one first.

**Where you at** _,_  received at 10:41 AM. It's all it says and Law sends a simple 'home' in return.

The response comes two seconds later, because Penguin is always glued to his phone. He tells Law lunch is on him, and that Shachi and Jean will pop up at midday too,  **a small retribution for you responsible friendship** , Penguin sends, making Law let out a smile.

He sees Nami's text next, and he's only mildly surprised to see an address and saying  **in case you want to take a shot** , received at 11:06 PM. Law doesn't need to be a genius to know to whom that address belongs to, and he tells himself that it's not important, that it's just Nami being Nami, that it's just her trying to put someone inside of Luffy's home to see if the guy's still breathing.

He understands what's she's doing, he really does, he just doesn't know why she thinks he's going to be luckier than her, luckier than everyone else, why she thinks Luffy's going to open the door for him and not ignore him like he apparently is doing with everyone, why she thinks Luffy's going to be home the moment Law decides to go there, and it's not like Law has his number to call him and check if he's home and, even if he did, why would Luffy answer his call and not his friends' in the first place.

_But he could open,_  a voice at the back of his head tells him,  _he may not ignore you_. And he feels stupid. So stupid.

He goes take a shower, to clean his mind from its stupidity and the sleepiness making his head feel too heavy for his neck. He hates oversleeping, it doesn't do him any good, and so he stays under the shower stall for way longer than what he needs to and only leaves when the water starts running cold.

_I wrote him a pun_ , the idea suddenly comes to his mind as he looks to his soaked state in the bathroom's mirror,  _what the hell was I thinking. Tibia, fuck tibia and fuck fibula and fuck femur and fuck every single fucking bone in the legs._

He gets out of the shower and puts on some clothes. He waits for Shachi and Penguin to arrive while watching TV, changing the channel every so often. They didn't even need to send him a text warning him of their arrival, he could hear them coming up the stairs, laughing loudly and with heavy steps Jean coming with them too.

Soon enough, Law's apartment smells like Indian food, as Shachi and Penguin put the plastic bags on top of the dinner table and start taking out container after container. It's a good meal, all of them gathered around, eating like there's no tomorrow, talking about nothing and everything at all once and it's weird how his mind gets so easily distracted, it's weird how suddenly he feels like nothing's wrong. But when all of them leave, in the middle of the afternoon, he feels dead tired all over again, he doesn't feel like studying, nor does he feel like going to Bell-mere's, so he just sits in his couch and watches movies, pointless and cliché, with lines so bad that he wants to punch the actors.

He gets bored, so beyond bored that he feels like he's going to die while yawning or sighing. He grabs his phone instead of the TV controller, and suddenly Nami's text crosses his mind, _Luffy's address_.

He needs to give it a shot, he realizes then, otherwise, his mind won't stop mocking him about it and, once he fails, once Luffy doesn't even open the door, he can put the whole situation behind his back because no one can say he didn't give it a try.

.

.

.

It's weird how dubious the driving skills of a taxi driver can be, how he can do the curves with way too much speed and still don't hit the other cars.

Law tries to memorize his surrounding, tries to identify where exactly in the town he's right now, but it's too hard, especially when the driver keeps choosing weird-ass alleys to stay away from the traffic of the main road.

One thing Law realized pretty quickly once he put Luffy's address on Google Maps, was that the guy lives only on the other side of the town. Law sighed when he saw the distance and the time separating them, estimating the price it would cost him and how it was only a small fortune.

Law leaves his neighborhood and the part of the town that he knows like the palm of his hand by now, crosses the town's center, and, soon enough, he's in a foreign land where he has never put a foot on. The buildings are bigger than where Law lives, a difference of six or so floors, and they're strange-looking, all similar in architecture but with different colors. There are also more trees, growing alongside the road, and more parks, even though they're way smaller than the only one that Law's neighborhood has to offer.

Graffities cover most of the walls near to the pavement, but there are some in big scale that cover most of a whole side of a building too. They're not the badly made ones, they were obviously done by professionals, not amateur vandals. The sea is portrayed in most of them, like a huge painting separated in dozens of tinier ones that are different in style but still connect with each other. Law watches them as he passes by, stopping at every single red light available because the taxi driver doesn't know about speed limits. He sees the forest, green and pure, just outside the town when the buildings start getting smaller and, soon enough, the taxi driver is kicking him out and draining most of the money inside his wallet. The street has a good vibe, it's clean and doesn't have too many people rushing past him.

Law doesn't take long finding Luffy's building. It's a light yellow colored complex shaped like the half of the moon, heightening five floors above the ground. In the middle, a parking lot with a few small and young trees is mostly empty. A butcher with a big and old sign, a hairdresser, a small convenience store, and laundromat occupy the ground level floors, but there are more, a whole community that Law's sure can managed to do everything without needing to get out of the neighborhood.

_No wonder he doesn't want to leave the house, he has everything here_ , Law thinks as he enters the enclosure. He feels like someone's watching him, and he feels uncomfortable without really knowing why. There's no one on the street aside from him, but he can hear the hum of the hairdryers of the hairdresser and the strong and loud stabs coming from the butcher.

Law called Nami before catching the taxi because he's not stupid enough to come to Luffy's address without really knowing where the guy lives. She told him he first had to get past one of the four ground level doors to get inside the building, the B being the one that led to Luffy's apartment, and that Luffy lived on the first floor, the door on the left. He didn't want to call her, but he needed that crucial information. He didn't want Nami to know he was giving it a shot, like she said he should, he didn't want her to know he was unsuccessful, because if she didn't know then Law could've easily pretend that nothing happened, pretend that he wasn't reckless and stupid, pretend that he didn't even receive her text, but now he can't, he will have to live with his failure for the rest of his life.

He approaches the B door, a big red thing with a dirty glass that reaches the top and has a handle and a door lock too low, even for someone as small as Luffy. He presses the button saying 1-L and it makes a high pitched noise. Law sees how that button is, by far, the most worn out of them all, due to the amount out times he has been used. Law waits and presses it again, waits and presses yet another time, and another, and another but there's no Luffy talking through the inter-communicator, asking who the fuck is so impatient, and there's no sound of a door lock opening beside him either.

He contemplates the idea of pressing the other buttons, bother the other people living in the building until one of them lets him in. He could also use the old trick of "Hello dear neighbor, I forgot my keys, could you help me with the door so I can enter the building. I know you never heard of me but I truly live here," but he quickly puts that idea aside, he wonders how many times Luffy's friends tried to do that already, just to not mention how ridiculous it sounds.

He looks through the door's glass, trying to take a sneak peek through the dusty and dirty glass, but he can't see much, just stairs in front and what appears to be the elevator on the left wall, badly illuminated.

Law wonders if he should go home then, give up on his stupidity and just tell Nami that there's nothing he can do, but the answer came to him like it always does nowadays. He didn't even turn around fully, to walk away and pretend nothing happened, when he heard something, the sound of a door, closing with way too much force, echoing down the stairs. He approaches the door again, tries to look inside, still nothing but darkness, but he hears the elevator coming down even before he gets to the ground level.

Law's doesn't know what crossed his mind when he grabbed his own apartment keys from his jeans pocket, attracted to all the keys he owns, even the ones that aren't used anymore because he can't remember to throw them away, doesn't know why he thought pretending to be having a hard time finding the right one to open the door was a good idea, bending down so much that he felt his spine complaining.

Law also doesn't know what crossed his mind when a pink-haired woman, not much older than Law himself, opens the door and stands there, looking at him, and Law just says  _thanks_ , pretending that she just saved him an eternity of trying to find the right key. She doesn't give him more than one quick and pointed look, between his face and the key bundle on his hands, before she passes right past him and barely even leaves enough time for Law to hold the door open.

She doesn't say anything, doesn't even ask his name or which apartment is his just to, you know, see if Law was lying about implying he lives in the building or not. Law hopes Luffy's neighbors aren't all like that, but he's actually glad this one was.

He manages to get in and it's so weird how his heart is hammering inside his ribcage, how his brain is suddenly completely focused, completely awake, as if a sudden wave of adrenaline just hit him. He doesn't have a reason to be like that, he just managed to get inside Luffy's building with nothing more than bad acting.

Law passes by the elevator and starts going up the stairs instead, not being lazy enough to take the elevator just to get to the first floor. With every step he takes, the realization of what he's doing crosses his mind in a way that it hasn't before, and the more he thinks about the whole situation, the more ridiculous it sounds.

Luffy doesn't know Law's there, doesn't suspect a thing because he decided to enter in incognito mode and without being invited. Sure, it will be hard for Luffy to just ignore him when he's not even expecting Law to be there but, what exactly will Law tell him if he does open the door? What reason does Law have to just be there, knocking on his door?

He hasn't thought this through, he hasn't made a plan. Law always has a plan.

His legs get him to the top of the stairs sooner than what he wanted, he didn't have enough time to organize the thoughts inside his head, to try and slow down his heart and lungs before they break his ribs.

Law looks at the door on his left, Luffy's, and it's just a normal door, made out of dark wood. He rings the bell and notices how sweaty his palms are, so he cleans them on his jeans before he decides to knock on the door instead. He knocks once, twice but nothing happens and he can't hear any sound coming from the other side. Luffy could be out for all he knows, or he could be standing inches apart from Law, looking at him and deciding he's going to ignore him too.

Law stops knocking and starts focusing on the sounds, using his inexplicably hyper-aware senses, but he doesn't hear anything, and neither can he feel Luffy on the other side of the door, looking at him. So Law starts banging on the door, with closed fists, just like he did when Bell-mere's was closed, figuring that if Luffy doesn't open up then one of his neighbors will, and he will only get out after seeing someone. A dog starts barking inside Luffy's apartment and scratching the door when Law starts banging harder, and he can hear rushed hisses in the background too, telling the dog to shut up.

"I know you're there, Luffy-ya. Open up," Law calls, and suddenly the dog goes quiet and the door in front of him opens, Luffy just standing there, awkwardly, holding the door open with one hand and the collar of his dog with the other. His eyes are bigger than what Law remembers, brown and salient of his bony and pale face.

He looks terrible.

Luffy doesn't say anything, and neither does Law. He just makes his way inside Luffy's apartment, breaking into his comfort and isolated zone without even being invited. Luffy's dog doesn't make a move to attract him for trespassing his territory, just stands there next to Luffy, a small and fluffy brown animal.

Law doesn't like how he's been doing things lately, doesn't like the fact that he has been forcing his way in by banging on doors. He has managed to get inside the Bell-mere's when the place was closed just by banging with force enough, and he has managed the exact same thing with Luffy. What does that say about him? And what does that say about the other people, the ones that didn't manage what he did? Does that mean they didn't try hard enough, or that Law's overly persistent, or just overall lucky?

The first thing Law notices when he enters inside of Luffy's apartment, is the darkness of the place, along with a weird smell of mold and sweat. He goes to the living room's windows and opens them all, the light blue curtains fluttering as the wind enters, filling the place with sunlight, fresh air and the soft smell of the spring. Law can't imagine Luffy staying closed here, surrounded by mess and darkness, it's just not at all what Law imagined his place to be. He always thought Luffy's home would have a lot of colors and random things lying around, full of happiness and life, and maybe that's what it looked like before, but now the colors are gone, and so are the happiness and the life.

Law turns around and sees Luffy's still in the same position, just crouched next to his dog, looking like a confused mess. Law sees the oversized black t-shirt he's using, it making him look smaller and paler. Chopper, the dog's name if Law remembers correctly, keeps looking at him, just like his owner, with big and brown eyes as well. Then he sniffs the air and looks behind, to the open door behind.

"Come on," Law says before he has time to think otherwise, his mind blank and without being able to form proper thoughts, but he needs to get Luffy and his dog out there, that's all he knows. "Let's go walk Chopper-ya," he quickly adds when Luffy looks like he's about to refuse or to form some sort of excuse to not go.

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.

Law ends up waiting while Luffy goes look for Chopper's leash and then follows them down the stairs and down the street, passing by all the graffiti and all the goddamn trees without saying a word. Law only notices they're heading towards the forest when the buildings suddenly disappear and the green starts taking place. He keeps his eyes on the back of Luffy's head, on his wild and unkempt hair, on the straw hat hanging on his neck. He knows that hat, every time Law was in Bell-mere's, the damn thing had to be somewhere on top of the counter and, at the hospital, it was on the bedside table too. Only then he notices how old it must be, how old the straw looks and how it isn't really that tangled anymore at the end, the edge not having that perfect round look it should have.

The forest ends up being more of a park than an actual forest. There's a long pathway made of a mixture of flat rocks, gray and reddish-brown. Green herbs grow between the cracks and small shrubs on the edges of it. On the trees, the green of the leaves gets mingled with the pink and yellow from the flowers flourishing on them.

Luffy lets Chopper walk freely when the buildings and the road are long gone, hidden behind the trees. He doesn't ask how Law entered his building, or how he even knew where he lived to begin with so, in return, Law doesn't ask how he's doing, or how he's feeling. Law guesses it's a fair trade.

Law watches as Chopper starts running after another dog, way bigger than him, and stops every time he gets far away from them, looks back at Luffy to see if he's still there, and then starts heading backwards, then being the other dog's turn to follow Chopper. Luffy tugs at his arm and points to a small kid's playground before starting to head towards the swings, now abandoned after two very energetic little girls were forced to leave after their mother receives a call. She looks stressed and with not that much patience for her kids, if they're even hers.

They're alone in the park, even the other dog suddenly disappears. Law sits in the swing beside the one Luffy's using, and it's so small that his knees almost touch the ground and he swears the thing will break with his own weight, but it doesn't, only lets out creaks every time Law moves.

He can hear Luffy's heavy breathing beside him, but he doesn't say anything. Law normally doesn't mind silence, actually prefers it over stupid and pointless conversations that don't lead to anything, but there's something in this silence that gets him a bit anxious. It's not an uncomfortable one, it's just a weird one, one where he can't find any words to fill, one where Luffy seems like he doesn't even care if Law talks or not, and that's what's messing with Law the most.

After a few sniffs on everything the playground has to offer, Chopper comes and lies between them, his chest contracting and expanding frenetically, his tongue hanging out like he has just run a marathon. Law leans to his right so he can rest his hand on Chopper's belly and gently strokes it.

He can feel Luffy's eyes on him when he slides down and sits on the ground next to Chopper that seems to appreciate his new position and comes close to his side, melting under Law's touch and smelling his hand when it comes close to his nose. It's cute to see.

"How did you know Chopper's name?" Luffy asks, surprising Law with such a low voice that he almost didn't hear him. Law suppresses a smile, he shouldn't even know about Chopper's existence yet there he is, petting the dog as if he knows him for ages.

"I may have overheard a few conversations," Law says and is a bit ashamed after admitting it out loud. He shoved all the information he managed to get from Luffy and Nami's conversations at Bell-mere's, deep down inside his brain and he actually did his best to not hear them talking, but he's not deaf and, apparently, he didn't shove it deep down enough.

Luffy huffs in response and it sounds like an amused kind of huff, but when Law looks up at him, his expression hasn't changed one slight bit. He's staring at Chopper, at Law's hand as he pets the dog behind his ears and under his collar, where the fur is thicker.

The sky above them gets darker and darker, and the lamps of the park start to get illuminated. The air gets colder and, even though Law isn't affected by it, he still sees how it glues the front of Luffy's shirt to his chest and makes it flutter at his back, sees how he starts to shiver. Luffy doesn't say a word to complain, but Law knows it's time to take him home. They've made enough for the day, Luffy has left his apartment for an hour and took a breath of fresh air for the first time in only God knows how long. Chopper has relieved all his energy and seems ready to take a nap right there on Law's tight.

Sure they haven't said mostly anything, at least not anything important, but Law knows they will get there if Luffy wants to. It's just a matter of time, a matter of patience and silent support, and they will have more chances, Law's sure.

They walk back to Luffy's building, only this time, they walk side by side, with Chopper walking slowly on Luffy's side, instead of them walking fast-paced at the front and Law following behind. They reach Luffy's building sooner than what Law expected, and Luffy takes a while to find the right key. He holds the door, letting Chopper enter, and then stands there awkwardly, as if debating if he should invite Law or not.

Law finds the similarity of the whole situation with the one he experienced a few time ago with the pink-haired woman kind of amusing. Only this time, Law doesn't need to pretend he lives there, and neither does he enter, but Law doesn't mind.

"Thank you," Luffy says instead and it's so weird how that little word can have so many possible meanings. Thanks for coming to visit me, thanks for forcing your way into my apartment and for opening my windows, thanks for giving me a reason to leave my apartment, thanks for forcing me to walk Chopper. Thanks for not asking anything. Thanks for not offering your help out loud. Thanks for not saying that everything is going to be okay. Thanks for not saying that I look better when I clearly don't.

"No problem," Law says and they both stand there, waiting for the other to say something. Law wonders if he should ask Luffy for his number then, or if maybe he should just give him his, but he decides against it, he didn't need Luffy's number to find and make his way towards him, so it wouldn't make that much of a difference. He knows where he lives now and he can use that bad acting technique if he needs to, so they can exchange numbers later, when it's less awkward between them.

"Meet me here tomorrow," Law says and sounds like a warning, with a tone that one can't just say no. It's not an invitation, it's something that will happen whether Luffy wants it or not, whether Law wants it or not. Luffy nods in response and then Law's facing a closed door while hearing footsteps going up the stairs.

It's only when Law's already inside of a taxi and halfway through the city that he notices how his phone has run out of battery. The taxi driver tells him it's almost eight and, when he arrives at his neighborhood, he sees Penguin and Shachi, sat in front of his building's door and surrounded by plastic bags. When they see him approach, Shachi frowns and Penguin just crosses his arms in front of his chest.

"Where have you been?" Shachi asks. "We were about to leave."

"And why didn't you then?" Law mutters, ignoring the question. Shachi's frown deepens.

"Who would bring you dinner if not us?" He says, grabbing one of the plastic bags and letting it hang in his hand, grinning.

.

.

.

The next day, Law wakes up with Nami calling and he ignores her. Instead, he leaves his way too comfortable bed to go to the bathroom and take a well-deserved shower. When he gets out, his phone flashes and rings with a third call. Law doesn't want to talk to Nami, doesn't want to tell her that he has seen Luffy yesterday when she can't even manage to make him answer her calls, doesn't want to tell her that he entered Luffy's apartment and made him go outside when she can't even make him open the door for her to enter his building. He doesn't want to tell her, and, at the same time, doesn't want to lie to her either, so he ignores her calls and that's actually kind of funny, considering it all started with Luffy ignoring her and now Law has also decided to do the same. Law feels bad for her, but he also understands Luffy's side. Luffy doesn't want to lie to Nami while telling her he's better and doesn't want her to see him and realize how it isn't true, so he probably thinks the best option is to ignore her, just like Law's doing. It's not the best option, Law's aware of that, and he knows Luffy's is aware of that too, but that is just the easiest choice.

It may be selfish from Law's part and it may be self-destructive in Luffy's case, but it sure as hell is a lot easier to ignore the problems instead of facing then, because that's what the human being does best, ignore the problems until they can't be ignored anymore, pretend not to see them, close their eyes or just turn around and face the other way.

Law knows Nami would ask him if he has had any luck in taking a sneak peek of Luffy, because that's really all they have to talk about, it's  _all_  they talk about, but Law doesn't want to, doesn't want to tell her how he managed to enter Luffy's building, tell her he managed to get Luffy out, tell her how he looks like a skeleton, pale and skinny, doesn't want to tell her any of that because that happened between him and Luffy, and them only. And he wants to keep it a secret, because Law has seen Luffy's friend's chat group, has seen how they all share the little bits of information they know with everyone, has seen how everyone seems to know everything, and Law knows how wrong that feels, how bad he felt with himself after reading thousands of messages that got accumulated over the time he didn't check the group. That's the main reason why he removed himself from it, even though he told Nami it was just because there wasn't a point for him to be there when Luffy already left the hospital.

If Law told Nami what happened yesterday, she would almost instantaneously tell everyone in the group, but it's not like he can lie to her either, after all, he doesn't know if Luffy has talked to her or not, he could've already told her everything and she's just calling to thank him for all he knows. And if Nami caught him lying, she would hardly trust him again and he can't lose her trust, he just can't, because even though he isn't a viable source of information for her, she's still a viable source to him. And if he loses her trust, he loses important things about Luffy.

So Law decides to keep ignoring her until he has a better solution.

.

.

.

As promised, Law is in front of Luffy's building's door by the time the clock on his phone tells him it's half-past four. He thought about coming later, at the same hour as yesterday, but he decided against it, he wasn't doing anything at home anyway.

He stands in front of Luffy's door, staring at the buttons on his side and then hits Luffy's one with probably more force than what was necessary because, apparently, he can't even control his own force when it comes to hitting buttons. His palms are sweaty again.

Law ends up pressing the button three more times, just for Luffy to get a hint that it's him, and then goes sit on a nearby wooden bench that's full of dried bird poop. He tries to sit on the edge and does his best to not move an inch and he has to wait for at least ten minutes before he hears a heavy door opening, and then there's a small dog jumping onto him, making Law even more unstable on his position.

"Hey," Luffy greets him, his voice rough. He's making eye contact with Law, that's progress since yesterday he didn't, but Law can't help but notice how Luffy has weird eyes, still has after everything that happened, so much so that sometimes it's hard to look away from them and to keep track on the conversation and Law has experienced that a few times too many at the Bell-mere's.

Law nods at him. Chopper starts licking his palm then, his wet and hot tongue feeling weird against his skin and he fights the urge to take his hand away from the dog's reach, but it doesn't last long though, only a few licks and sniffs and Chopper's quickly positioned beside Luffy once more.

Law stands up. "Let's go then," he says as he starts walking, Luffy and Chopper following closely behind him.

They end up not doing anything, just like yesterday, just sit in the swings. However, this time, they take the empty seats from a few kids, which earns them a few glares from the moms around. Chopper plays with the other dogs longer this time, only coming a few times to sniff at Luffy's hand and maybe glare a bit at Law as if demanding him to fucking do something about his owner's mood, and then he's gone, back to where he was before.

The park has a lot more people than yesterday, not only in the amount of the kids at the playground and dogs running around, but other people too. People jogging like they're on a TV commercial, perfect hair and perfect tight clothes, and others not so glamorous, soaked in sweat and barely raising their feet from the ground for another step, elderly people occupying most of the benches, talking slowly with each other or reading their journals, and younger people too, around their age, on dates or just meeting with their friends.

Law prefers the empty park, way more. The people annoy him, the noise and their smell annoy him. It's not that he hates people, it's more that he hates what comes associated with people. Yesterday, when no one was around, he could hear the birds and the wind passing through the trees, he could smell the dirt and the purified air and he could see and feel just how beautiful and relaxing the scenery around them is. Now though, all he hears are the kids screaming and fast-paced footsteps, all he can smell are mothers' horrible perfume and the vanilla ice cream that was melting on the ground not far away from the swings, and all he can see and feel are the glares of the moms, their whispers, everything, just because he and Luffy are occupying a really good source of happiness from their kids.

Thanks to the Lord though, the swings area is actually far away from the rest of the playground, probably for the fact that most kids like to jump off of it in the mid-air while the others are playing and running just in front of their trajectory.

Law pays attention to the dogs then, already too tired of trying to lip-read what the moms were saying, they were probably just being mean and noisy. He likes dogs, has actually wanted to have one himself for years now, but never did anything about it other than wanting. He guesses that's because he wouldn't provide a good environment for the poor dog, after all he's never at home and surely doesn't have enough time to regularly go for walks, he may have more than enough time now, but the spring break won't last forever. And he also has the food issue, he can't afford another mouth to fill every day, God knows how his wallet has been stretching like a fucking contortionist with only himself to feed with regular meals and coffee and pastries, let alone feed a dog and try to keep it healthy at the same time.

And let's not forget that he's talking about a dog, an alive being that needs everything that alive beings need, and how the hell could he keep a dog healthy and well trained when he's not even good at doing that for himself. There's no way he could take care of a dog properly, the poor thing would just be an unhappy dog, and there's no way the dog would like him either. He's just as good with animals as he is with people, which is saying is not good at all. Chopper may appear to like him, but Law knows that's just because he would he be stuck inside of Luffy's apartment if it wasn't for him.

"You look off," Luffy says beside him, his swing rocking slightly. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing. I mean, about dogs, nothing important," Law tells him and receives a skeptical look in response, yeah, it sounds crazy to Law's own ears as the words leave his mouth too. "I'm serious, I've always wanted a dog to keep me company, I was just thinking about the reasons why I couldn't take care of one, I guess."

"I think you would be a good owner. It's not that difficult anyway, if I can't take care of Chopper you can take care of one too," Luffy tells him and, as if knowing they were talking about him, Chopper appears, out of nowhere, his tongue hanging out of his mouth and panting furiously. He jumps onto the top of Luffy's legs and makes Luffy hold tightly on the swing ropes in an attempt to get some stability.

"I will have to disagree with you," Law says and the conversation ends there. He waits for Luffy to disagree with him too, to start saying that yes, he would be a good owner again, to start declaring argument after argument about how taking care of a dog isn't that difficult, how Law would be more than capable enough, but Luffy stays silent, and Law can't help but feel a bit disappointed.

They stay on the swings a bit more before Luffy stands up and makes Chopper jump onto the ground in the process. He doesn't need to tell Law that it's time to go.

The sun is still shining, although the sky's getting darker each second that passes. The day was what could be described as unusually hot, considering the time of the year, the spring finally hitting hard, and the unusually high temperature is still on the air.

Law's sweaty, can feel the sweat running down his temples as he makes his way back to Luffy's building, having to raise his arm to clean his forehead more times than what he wanted. His sweater's weird against his back and Law's starting to lose his nerve with the itch. He guesses it was a bad choice from his part to bring such warm clothes, but it's not like he could predict the weather, not when it just keeps getting more and more unpredictable.

And so, there he is, sweating so unbelievable hard that he feels like he just got out of a pool and decided to walk on the street. He should have brought fresher clothes, lighter clothes, just  _other_  clothes. He wished he brought shorts and a loose t-shirt like Luffy did instead of his way too warm ones, he wished he brought beach slippers as Luffy did instead of his boots, he wished he brought a useful hat to block the sunlight like Luffy's straw hat instead of his fur-covered one. He wouldn't be sweaty and smelly if he brought those things, he wouldn't be grabbing his hat with all the force his fingers have, unloading his unnecessary fury on the poor thing, his hair wouldn't be a sweaty mess, he would look normal.

The walk back to Luffy's building takes longer than what it took yesterday. Luffy lets Chopper walk around with his leash loose so the dog takes every chance he has to stop and sniff randomly, taking his time every time he does so. Even Luffy seems to be walking slower, his feet dragging on the pavement almost like he's numb.

"Will you come tomorrow too?" Luffy asks when Chopper stops to sniff a small and still growing tree. In front of them stands a vitrine of a fancy store, with two fancy mannequins wearing dresses and facing the people walking outside with their weird poses and nonexistent faces. Law feels only slightly uncomfortable by their presence and judgmental figure.

"If you want me to," he responds.

Luffy stays silent for a while, watching Chopper. "Yeah, I guess," he says and tugs at Choppers collar for him to stop vandalizing the poor three with his nose. "If that's not an inconvenience, I mean."

_I should be studying_ , Law thinks. "It's not," he says instead, because it's not like he has his finals next week, it's not like he's wasting precious time doing, well nothing, but also, it's not like he has left all his studies for the last minute, it's not like he doesn't have things more or less sorted out already, because he always has everything sorted out. So no, it's not an inconvenience.

By the time they start walking again, Law feels like he may collapse right there. Staying in the same place and receiving the sunlight directly in the face was not a good idea. He regrets ever complaining about how cold the spring was being, regrets it tremendously. He wants the cold days back, he wants the rain and the snow and the wind back.

Luffy's a bit ahead of him which is weird, considering how slowly he's walking. He stops in his tracks then and looks back a Law. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Law responds and does a small wave with his hand, just to prove his point, even though his face must be saying the contrary.

Law doesn't know how Luffy does it, he's sweating too but he looks fine, honestly looks better than what Law has ever seen over the past few weeks. There is color on his cheeks, actual color, that Law hasn't seen on his checks since the last time they were both at Bell-mere's, which feels like ages ago. Luffy always had color on his cheeks when working, he always looked happy when he was talking to the customers and Law how much he wants him to get back at work, fuck it if Shachi gets unemployed, it's not like he needs money or is the employer of the month anyway, and it would be so good if Shachi would just stop rambling about Nami every time he's with Law, it's exhausting.

"You sure?" Luffy tries again. They both ignore the fact that Chopper is vandalizing another tree. "You look like you're melting."

_That's because I am_ , Law thinks. "I'm fine just-" he stops when a bunch of kids pass right between them and one not so accidentally shoves him out of the way. Stupid kids with their stupid energy and their stupid rudeness, he could've at least apologize. Law glares at their backs while they run, hoping that at least one of them fall and break his nose onto the ground.

None of them fall though, which is disappointing, but they do run towards an ice cream parlor which couldn't be more convenient. "Hey, do you want ice cream?" Law asks Luffy, turning his attention back to him, that smiles, slightly and revealing a hint of his big teeth in return. It's a win. "I'll take that as a yes."

Law ends up buying the ice creams while Luffy waits outside with Chopper. He buys two, randomly flavored because Luffy didn't tell him what flavor he liked and Law isn't a witch or that good at taking guesses. As soon as he gets outside, they start melting so fast his fingers get sticky before he even has time to hand Luffy his own.

He wished Chopper wasn't a dog, or that the ice cream parlor was somehow dog-friendly and let dogs in, because inside surely was a lot fresher than outside. They sit on a bunch of stairs right next to the place, eating the ice creams and doing some sort of advertisement just by doing so.

The ice cream is the most delicious thing Law has had in a while, Shachi doesn't give him free pastries and Law still refuses to buy them, so he has been a bit sugar deprived lately. Law feels fresher, fatter but fresher, and their view of the sunset is quite beautiful from their place on the stairs. Luffy eats his faster than Law does, but still makes a mess out of himself, with his mouth, fingers, and front of the shirt covered in the light blue of the ice cream.

Law could've understood the mess if Chopper had jumped or tried to eat the ice cream, but the dog stayed calm and actually sat on the step, waiting for Luffy to give him a piece only in the end like a civilized dog he is.

"Can I have your number?" Luffy asks once Law finishes eating and starts cleaning his hands to his pants because all the napkins he brought with him were used to clean Luffy's mess and he was too lazy to get up and go grab a few more. The question catches Law off guard and he stays looking at Luffy, trying to figure out what has just left his mouth. The corners of his mouth are blue too.

"Yeah, sure. Give me your phone," Law says then and extended his hand towards Luffy, hoping he doesn't mind getting his phone a bit mushy.

"Actually, I didn't bring mine with me," Luffy says and scratches the back of his neck. "Give me yours instead, I will wite mine on it."

"Did you forget it?" Law asks and gets his own phone out of his pocket.

"No, they keep calling and the vibration is annoying," Luffy mutters.

Law hums in understanding and it's only when Law tries to unlock his phone that he realizes it isn't working, the battery having ran out again. His phone is so useless nowadays, the battery is fucked up and it's so slow that is frustrating. He needs another one, badly.

"I don't have battery," Law says and feels stupid right after.

Luffy lets out that small smile again. "So, can I have your number tomorrow?"

Law was about to say yes when he remembers they don't need to have their phones there or working properly to exchange numbers, they can do it on the old fashioned way that works just the same. "Wait a second."

He goes back to the ice cream parlor. He noticed there was a bunch of pens, yellow and with the place's logotype in black, along with some candies and heart-shaped lollipops. He buys a pen, cursing mentally at the abnormally high price of that piece of shit and then grabs two more napkins and leaves.

Luffy's still in the same position, petting Chopper that's just laying on his back, his belly exposed. He watches as Law sits and puts a napkin on his knee, to write his number on it.

"No, wait," Luffy says when he realizes what Law's doing. "I don't want to lose it, just write on my hand. It's harder to lose."

Law huffs and rolls his eyes slightly, playfully. Luffy raises his hand in the air and lets Law grab it to write his number. It's weird, but Law has imagined Luffy hands to be soft or something, considering how delicate they look, but he's surprised to find that they're actually calloused and warm in comparison to his cold and mushy ones.

Once, when Shachi got beat by the boyfriend of the girl he was flirting with, Law was the one that held a frozen bag of peas against his forehead. "Cold hands, warm heart", Shachi had told him with his drunk voice and a soft smile before passing out.  _Luffy has warm hands,_ Law notices.

Law can sense Chopper looking at him from the ground while he writes on Luffy's back of the hand and it's disconcerting.

Luffy stares at the blue numbers on his hand for a while. "I still haven't memorized my new number, I thought I did but I keep messing up the order, " Luffy says then, refusing the pen Law was handing, seeming a bit shy.

Law remembers Nami telling him one day that Luffy's phone was destroyed during the accident and they had a problem with keeping the same number on the new one, so they just gave up altogether and asked for a new one. He can't really blame Luffy for not having enough patience to memorize the new number.

"Then call if you need me," Law says and shoves his new pen and useless phone in his pocket. "Now let's get you home."

They do the rest of the walk under a somewhat tolerable silence. This time though, when they get to Luffy's building's door, he asks what Law will do for the rest of the afternoon.

"Library," Law responds. Jean stayed with most of his notes the other day, he's getting them back now. "I'm meeting a friend there to exchange notes."

"See you tomorrow then," Luffy says, seeming pleased, and Law does a small wave before he goes inside his building and closes the door behind him, leaving Law's sweaty self all by himself.

Law wants a shower, so desperately it hurts. He wants to get rid of the layers of sweat covering him under his clothes and wants to get rid of the smell he knows he has but his nose can't quite catch anymore, but he can't, he needs the notes so he can start studying properly when he still has time and enough energy to do so. He has neglected his studies already for too damn long, and he knows this isn't going to be his last visit to Luffy, especially not now that the guy has his number. Only God knows how many times he's going to use it.

He gets on a bus and goes to the library. He stays there for three hours because, apparently, he's great at explaining pathologies but doesn't have readable handwriting at times. He and Jean end up sharing a cab, Law getting out first.

The first thing he does when he gets home is put his phone charging but, when it takes too goddamn long to just switch back on, he heads for a well-deserved shower.

When he gets out, he's a bit disappointed to not see any missed calls from an unknown number, just from Nami.

.

.

.

On Saturday, he wakes up later than he wanted too. He ended up staying until late at night talking to Nami over the phone because he couldn't ignore her forever, even if she's annoyingly annoying. She gave him a lecture at first, doing a monolog for at least the first half of the phone call duration, but then she stopped talking altogether when Law started talking about Luffy.

Law didn't really tell her anything important though, or anything remotely interesting, because he's keeping it a secret still, but she seemed pleased to hear Luffy's has taken some fresh air on the face, which prevented a ton of a lot more questions.

During the night, Law didn't receive any more calls, or any texts that he was kind of hoping for, but he tried not to think about it much. Probably Luffy didn't call yesterday because he thought Law was still at the library with his phone without battery, even though Law did not plan to stay there until late, he still isn't desperate enough to stay at a library until midnight.

In the morning, Law realizes his apartment is too hot for him to be able to breathe properly and he has to open all the windows it has to offer, which aren't really that many. When he opens the first one, the smell of the humidity in the air and the giant and whitish clouds in the part of the sky he can see tell him it's only a matter of time before it starts to rain.

His high school geography teacher would be proud of him, or maybe not, there's nothing that can impress that old and crazy-ass woman after all, but, either way, she should be, because the first thing he remembers when he sees those clouds is her high pitched voice explaining the process of formation of the convecting precipitation. Fucking high temperatures make the fucking air masses fucking rise and cool and condense and form fucking thunderstorms. Or something like that.

That weather couldn't come at a more inconvenient time. It makes him sleepy and moody, and not at all focused like he needs to be since he has to study. Fuck those people that say the best weather to study is rain, fuck them, they don't know what they're talking about, rain means sleep, and get under the covers and probably with hot chocolate too, but since he can't do any of that, he will just stay with a headache mocking him for the rest of the day and the sleepiness that causes his eyes to feel heavy and his mouth to not stop opening with yawns.

When the clock on his phone marks two in the afternoon, Law realizes he has been already studying for five hours straight. He didn't have lunch, just a poor excuse for a snack, but he doesn't have enough appetite to go cook anything.

As he looks through his living room's windows, he notices that it still hasn't started to rain, which, by Law's calculations, should've been hours ago. That's why Law hates meteorology, there are just so many small and insignificant things that can change the weather in every single fucking aspect possible. It's just so unpredictable, at least for an average person like him that evaluate the weather through what he can see of the sky, which is basically just a rectangle if he looks through one of his windows.

Law feels tired and his head feels heavy. He misses caffeine and sleep and probably sugar too. He feels the sudden urge to go grab a cover and just seat on the couch and watch a stupid tv show that only people like Shachi would see, feels the sudden urge to call Shachi or Penguin, or even Jean to ask for company, but then he remembers that they aren't available.

He suddenly feels what could be considered as lonely, alone inside of his dark and stuffy apartment and he doesn't like it.

He decides to go for a walk, only to change his mind right after. There are just so many places he can go, and only a few will protect him from the rain he knows will start falling anytime soon. He decides to call Shachi, only to then remember that the guy went with Penguin camping or whatever the hell it was and is probably still sleeping and hungover and not in the mood to put up with Law right now.

He decides to call Nami, only to then remember she's still working and won't even talk with him for more than a few seconds if the topic of the conversation doesn't somehow turn around Luffy. He decides to go make his own lunch, only to then see that his fridge is yet again basically empty because he forgot to go shopping and doesn't have enough creativity inside of his system to improvise a healthy meal with the depressing amount and variety of ingredients he has available.

He decides to stay studying, using the remaining brain cells he has while they're still working. His brain will eventually forget about his problems once it's overloaded with information. But then his phone starts buzzing on top of his table, and Law tries to ignore it, he truly does, but his tentative doesn't last long.

He stares at the number flashing across his phone's screen, it's unknown, but Law knows it's Luffy. It's not like Law gives his phone number just like that to random people, so it can only be him. And what should he do? Should he answer it right away, or wait a bit longer? Law just doesn't want to give the message that he spent all morning with his phone glued to his hand, hoping for Luffy to call him, because he didn't, he has had a productive morning and there's no way he could've written so much shit if his hand was occupied. He doesn't want to give the message that he may be a bit desperate for human interactions, or that his life is just a boring hell where he doesn't have anything to do, because he isn't desperate by any means and sure has tons of work to do.

He feels stupid when he realizes he's stressing out over a phone call he keeps refusing to answer because he's an idiot. Who the hell cares really. Law doesn't like when his brain stops making sense, he feels dumb. He doesn't know how people can survive while being dumb, is such a weird feeling when the brain doesn't do a proper job.

Law answers the call then, when he notices the amount of time his brain just zoomed out and before his phone stopped buzzing. He apologizes, giving some sort of bad excuse, saying that he left the phone in his bedroom, even though he didn't have to. Law isn't a liar, and yet he's been lying a lot lately, and he can't help it but find it weird.

They end up talking a lot more than what Law was expecting. He expected a  _hello this is my number bye_  sort of call, not a  _hey let's talk for hours_  one. Law expected a sort call and ended up talking about things he didn't even know he knew about or knew he had an opinion about.

Law ended up neglecting his studies, again, putting all his papers aside, slightly organized and then headed towards the couch. He doesn't remember having grabbed a blanket or having positioned himself in a weird position on the couch to be able to face the window, doesn't remember when the sky became darker due to the clouds, or when it started to get colder, doesn't remember when his phone started to get hot next to his ear or when his headache curled back to the deeps of his brain and left him alone.

He doesn't remember the point of the conversation he's currently having with Luffy, but when he moves his phone away from his ear momentarily to check the time, he's only merely surprised to see it's already past four. If things went like Law had planned, which they never do so he doesn't know why he keeps trying to do mental check-lists or try to prepare and organize his life beforehand, Law would be preparing himself to leave his apartment after studying for seven hours straight to go see Luffy and to do something with him.

Instead, he ended up studying only five hours and did nothing more, but, at least, he doesn't have to go see Luffy, Law guesses that was the whole point of the guy calling him. If Law doesn't need to cross the city to Luffy's apartment and spend an hour outdoors with him, only to then cross the city again back to his own, it will save him a good amount of time, and money, and he has time to study during that time instead, before he has to call Shachi and Penguin to make sure they're still alive in the woods and weren't eaten by a bear.

"Law? You still there?"

"Yeah, yeah," Law says and sighs, he hates it when his brain starts to zoom out of reality and creates a barrier between in and the world. "Just thinking about other things. Sorry."

"You're always thinking about other things," Luffy teases and Law fights the urge to roll his eyes, Shachi's always complaining about that fact, he finds the subject a bit odd, after all it's not his fault that his brain is always stressed out.

Law finds it hard to concentrate on the conversation after that. His belly growls and he feels dizzy and Luffy must've felt his lack of interest, because the call ends not long after that. He feels stupid when he throws always his phone and it crashes against the floor, he should've paid attention, that's all he's good at.  _And yet you still failed, no wonder no one relies on you to talk about their problems._

He wished he had things to occupy his mind with other than his studies, he wished he had more friends just to, you know, make plans and leave his depressing apartment for a few hours, wished he had proper food in the kitchen. He can't remember the last time he had a proper meal, and it was probably take out brought by Shachi or Penguin. Sometimes he also wished he had a job, to have something to occupy himself and earn money so he could buy proper food and proper clothes.

He wished so many things and yet he isn't able to accomplish any of them. The days pass by him and he barely notices, he hates when he doesn't have productive days, and they're are just getting more and more frequent. The only things that mark the passage of time are the callus on his ring finger, caused by too many hours writing and too much force applied on the pen, the bags underneath his eyes due to all the nights he spends looking at the dark ceiling, completely awake, and the mess that gets added to the mess already inside his apartment, each day there's more dirty clothes on his bathroom's floor, more thrash he needs to take outside and less food.

He decides to clean things a bit. It always makes him feel a bit better, a bit more accomplished with himself, a bit more functional as a human being, so he takes the trash out and changes the bedsheets that were cleaned only ages ago, organizes all the books laying around and cleans the dirty containers in the sink.

Once he's satisfied with his work, he's sweaty and goes to take a shower. He rubs his skin until it's reddish, until it hurts when the hot water runs over it. He still feels weird, bored, beyond bored, and he hates it. Luffy called and didn't invite him, called and didn't ask if Law was coming today too, called, so that means Law doesn't need to go to his apartment today, he already made his part.

Law feels like punching something, someone. He wants to get rid of his bad mood with one well-given punch, he wants to break something, to see red, blood, so he punches his bathroom's wall, right on the pastel-colored tiles that he abominates, and then he punches them again and again, until his knuckles are skinned and the pain doesn't let him close his first again for another punch.

He looks at himself in the mirror, still humid due to the hot water of the shower, drops dripping down to the sink. The towel around his waist has fallen, exposing his hard cock, arching for attention.

Law has been like things a few times in his life. Clueless about what he's doing, drifting in the world without really anything to do, any goal, and angry with everything and mostly at himself for that. He remembers when he once broke his hand, he was still in high school and the concrete wall he chose ended fucking up his fingers, he was just glad he decided to punch with his left hand that day, remembers the rage he felt, how he had to choose between the wall or someone's face, remembers the excruciating pain afterwards, how he felt the bones breaking against the wall, how he fucked up the skin until his hand was just a disfigured thing covered in blood. He isn't stupid to the point of repeating that, at least not so soon, but he wants it, so much.

He wants to get savage, to punch and to kick and to just let his force and animalistic side get over him. Law looks at his reflection and wants to break the mirror into pieces, but he doesn't, because his consciousness is always there, disapproving everything he does, and so he just steps back inside the shower and deals with his dick. It always happens, every time he loses a bit of control over his mind so does he lose control over his body, and he hates it, he hates losing control, he hates his primal instincts and appetites.

Law places his hand against the shaft and curls his fingers around it, getting a firm grip. The strokes begin slow and steady, all the way up and then all the way down, but, soon enough, he goes faster and faster until he's coming, hard. He watches as his cum disappears through the holes in the drain, along with the cold water.

_I'm getting insane_ , Law thinks once he looks at himself in the mirror again,  _I need to leave this fucking apartment_. His hair his mostly dry by now, and he just needs to pass the towel on his lower half before leaving the bathroom. He picks his phone from the floor on his way to his bedroom and puts it between his ear and his shoulder while searching on his drawer for some clean and slightly pleasant clothes.

"Yo, Law! What a surprise!" Penguin greets him, overly excited as always. "Listen Shachi's kind of occupied now, he's trying to make a fire for tonight's barbecue. I will be his lovely assistant, what can I do for ya?"

Law takes a deep breath. "Tell me you have meat and space in the tent for another person," Law says and receives a long pause in response, followed by a long laugh and a phrase that's not directed to him and that he can't understand, and suddenly Shachi's the one on the phone.

"Of course we have!" He screams and Law can only imagine that's because Penguin must be holding the phone against his ear, "but bring potato chips, we've run out of them."

Then the lovely assistant is back, telling Law the directions to get to the camping park.

Law puts some spare clothes inside the only sports bag he owns and then he's out. He just needs to leave the town and go a bit farther. Law decides to take the train to get to the periphery and, during the twenty minutes he has for it to arrive, he goes and buys the potato chips, eight large bags, because he knows Shachi can eat four alone. He brought every flavor available on the small convenience store just outside the train station, pepper, ketchup, spice, onion, cheese and paprika.

It takes an hour before he's able to leave the train. The damn thing was old and uncomfortable, the seats creaking every time the train made a turn. His train carriage was mostly empty, just an old lady sleeping with her head again the window in front of him, and a couple of teens sat at the very end, whispering excitedly and laughing every so often. He spends the whole time looking through the window, watching as the buildings changed from large and monumental, to high and fancy and then to blocks and blocks of buildings with the same color, the same architectural design and with an exaggeration in the number of small windows. He watched as the sky above him started to get darker and darker with angry-looking clouds, and only then he remembers that it was supposed to start raining hours ago, and it didn't. He just hopes the rain does start while Shachi's in the barbecue, Law's hungry as hell.

He has to take a taxi then, and Law almost cries when he had to pay the taxi driver.

The park is, well, a camping park, full of recreational vehicles and tents and shirtless men doing bonfires of drinking beer even though the temperature is not that inviting. There are dogs running around and music every time he passes by people of his age, most of them being already drunk, even though it's still day time.

He calls Shachi to guide him through the park and he smells the barbecue before he sees them, a spicy smell that makes his stomach growl and his mouth water. Both Shachi and Penguin look like wild men when he sees them, wearing shorts, dirty tank tops and nothing on their feet. They look happy.

Shachi made chicken, the most delicious chicken Law has ever tasted and he made so much of it that they ended up sharing with the nearby people that stayed to eat and share their own food with them too. And, along with all the food, there was beer, so much beer, and bottles and bottles of vodka and tequila, and the dinner lasted for at least three hours, with lots of talking and joking around with people Law's sure he won't ever see again in his life.

But it was good, Law felt good, surrounded by happy and excited people made him forget his soreness.

They were finishing the cleanup of all the mess when it finally started to rain, furiously. Law followed Penguin and Shachi all the way to their tent, trying to not get behind and lost them in the confusion that the park turned into, people running towards their respective tents, people trying to grab all their shit and put inside their tents, dogs barking, the dirt ground turning into slippery mud.

He climbed into the tent after Penguin and Shachi, the three of them soaked to the bones, water dripping to the tent's floor, but they laughed, hard, at their misery and unlucky circumstances. Law doesn't know if it was due all the alcohol in their system or because of their silly appearances, maybe both.

Trying to get out of their soaked clothes wasn't as funny, it involved a lot of punching each other and contortionism to get rid of the lower clothes, especially from Law who was wearing jeans. They put the clothes outside the tent, on the soaked and muddy ground, and changed into new ones, repeating the process all over again.

They fell asleep with the lights of the lightning every so often and with the angry and loud sounds of thunders along with Penguin's snores.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to enjoy yourself, have fun, set free the wildness within yourself whenever the occasion calls. Forget to try to impress or try to catch anyone's attention all the time.
> 
> Don't let anyone tell you your opinion doesn't matter, because it does. Don't let anyone tell you to shut up when you know you're right, don't stop fighting for what you believe or change what you are for anyone.


	4. Chapter Four

It rained all night. All the goddamn night. The thunders and the lightnings stopped eventually, at two or so in the morning, but the rain didn't, and neither did the wind. At some point in the night, Law actually thought the tent was going to be blown away and he honestly doesn't know how Shachi and Penguin managed to keep sleeping while there was a fucking hurricane outside.

Law decides he hates camping. They had to lay down over wet flour, and the sounds of drops hitting furiously the tent and the wind blows passing through the trees started to get annoying really fast. The tent turned out to be a lot smaller once Law recovered his senses, and it didn't have enough space for him to stretch his legs when they started to get numb.

Penguin snored all night, and not even when Law pinched his face and told him to shut up did the guy obey.

In the morning, it was still raining and the three of them ended up staying in the tent, sat there all wet and moody until it stopped or lost intensity. It didn't. The worst part was that the park didn't provide any shelter at all, only the people inside their cabins and caravans had the privilege of being dry and comfortable. The ones on the tents, well, not so much.

"I regret ever coming here," Law says, staring at the tent and to the drops he could see through it. He couldn't feel his legs or his feet, and his ass was starting to get numb too. He was hungry and thirsty and his head felt heavy on top of his neck due to the alcohol and the lack of sleep. He could feel the floor still humid underneath him, and his clothes were uncomfortable against his back. His phone stopped working and he doesn't know if that was due to the amount of rain that Law caught last night that fucked it, or because it ran out of battery again.

"For once, you did it voluntarily," Shachi mutters beside him, earning a glare from Law. He was not trying to imply the fault was on him, the fucking idiot. Law wants to punch him and throw him out to the middle of the rain.

"How far away is your car, Shachi?" He asks instead.

The guy looks at him, his eyebrows frowned like he's trying hard to calculate the distance and the time to get there but his headache isn't helping. Law bets Shachi's with a headache, he always has one after drinking, after all he isn't Law that only feels his head heavy and his eyes tired and a lot of hunger, he isn't Penguin that just gets really quiet and sleepy.

"Five or ten minutes, I dunno, it depends if we sprint or walk I guess," he ends up answering. He tries to stretch his arms, up in the hair, but he only manages to hit the tent.

"And how long would it take for the tent to be tied up?"

"Why the-  _oh_ ," Shachi says before shaking his head, only slightly. A grin forms on his mouth and then he looks back at Penguin, who seemed to be ready to pass out but laughed a bit once he shared a look with him. "Hopefully not as long as it did to mount it."

"How much time did it take?"

"Half an hour," Penguin responds, straightening himself, no longer leaning against the tent's support. "If  _someone_  wasn't a bossy ass bastard, it could've taken a lot less though."

"Hey, you were the one that wanted to follow the goddamn instructions manual. If it wasn't for me, you would still be trying to figure out what is what."

"And if it wasn't for me you wouldn't know what fitted where."

 _Fucking idiots_. "Okay, enough you two," Law says, raising his voice slightly. They stop, glare at each other for a few seconds like the kids they are but stop. He puts his boots on, they're still wet and the damn angle doesn't make his task any easier, but he still manages to do it. They both follow his example, even though they have to put socks over their dirty feet, all covered in dry mud first.

Law reaches for the sports bag he threw inside the tent last night from behind Penguin, who must've used it as a pillow. He takes off his shirt and dresses a black sweater. Then he shoves all the phones inside the bag, even his useless one in an attempt to prevent them from getting wet.

Shachi does the same for his shit lying around while Penguin changes his shorts into jeans and puts on a coat. He wonders if Shachi doesn't have any spare clothes or if he just doesn't see the point in changing his wet clothes if he's going to run under the rain. Now that Law thinks about it, he also doesn't see the point in that, he just decided to change because they felt weird against his skin.

So the plan consisted of them being fast and efficient so they didn't have to get soaked to the bones. Law would help Penguin with the tent, only because he preferred his approach to the process of mounting it more than Shachi's, while Shachi would go and grab all the shit they apparently had outside the tent. Then they would run to Shachi's car and drive the fuck out of the park.

Obviously, things didn't go as smoothly. First, they got all soaked the moment they opened the zipper of the tent, fat and fast drops hitting their faces hard as soon as they exited the damn thing. The fog, combined with the heavy rain, reduced Law's vision of the area to only a span ahead of his face. All he could see was gray, gray and even more gray during the time he managed to keep his eyes open, while the water running down his face was tolerable.

The tent ended up being another problem when he pulled it too hard from the ground and made a fucking pole ricochet against his face. He swears he almost lost an eye, but it didn't take more than ten minutes to dominate the damn thing and tie it. They didn't manage to put it inside its bag though, because there's no way, even under cooperative weather conditions, that thing can't possibly fit in such a small bag.

They and Shachi manage to finish at the same time and, soon enough, they're running over puddles and slippery mud and with no visibility at all. It's a weird run, the strap of the sports bag crossing his chest diagonally hits Law's hip every time he takes a step. Penguin's ahead of him, holding the dismantled tent with both of his hands and with a backpack jumping to the left and to the right as he runs. He can barely see Shachi's silhouette in the distance, leading the way.

Law notices, as they pass by more tents of all sizes and colors, that some don't look as stable as others. The place seemed messy and badly organized yesterday, and it looked worse now, way worse, and Law could only see what was directly near him and not the whole picture. Then they pass in the muddy path that separated the caravans from the cabins, stopping for a few seconds to catch their breaths under a shelter provided by a big ass cabin with a porch and all.

Shachi's ugly and excuse of a car never before seemed so beautiful.

They don't take long to get the three of them inside, Shachi in the driver's seat, Penguin in the seat next to him and Law on the back seat, along with all their shit and the soaked tent. That car has seen some shit, more shit than what Law wants to acknowledge, and he's not sure how Shachi still manages to keep it more or less clean, with a more or less food smell when people keep climbing into it soaked, drunk or sweaty.

Shachi laughs as he puts the key in the ignition and then high fives Penguin before pulling off and driving their way out of the camping park. The car moves slowly through the muddy road, the heavy and fast drops making it hard to look through the windshield, but they make it to the main road and, soon enough, they're back in town. There is no living soul out on the streets, but there's traffic, way more than the usual and they're obliged to move slowly again.

Law almost falls asleep in the backseat, his head leaning forward and his eyes feeling heavy. He can feel his neck complaining, but he doesn't have enough energy to raise his head and open his eyes so he just stays that way until the car reaches his building. Penguin pinches his cheek to wake him up and Law has to fight the urge to bite his fingers off.

He thought Shachi would just drop him and then drive towards Penguin's house to drop him too, but they both leave the car the moment Law does and sprint to his building.

"I didn't invite you," Law mutters as he climbs up the stairs, the others following closely behind him. The damn elevator is fucked up again and the last thing his numb and tired legs need is to climb fucking stairs.

"As if that has ever stopped us," Shachi says, grinning. Law looks back at him, glares a bit and rolls his eyes when Penguin starts laughing.

"I hope you have food though," Penguin says when they reach Law's floor.

"And dry clothes," Shachi adds while entering his apartment, "I feel like mine are morphing together with my skin."

"I have clothes,"  _but most of them are dirty_ , he thinks as he remembers the pile he has accumulated both in his bedroom and in his bathroom. "Food, not so much. Go look for yourselves and get creative, the first shower's mine."

Law goes to his bedroom and prays for his drawer to have at least three shirts. He takes out enough clothes for him and puts the others on the top of the drawer for them to come to pick up later. He grabs a bunch of towels and throws them at Shachi, him being the one who was closer. He only notices how bad his back actually hurt when he's under the hot water and has to raise his arms to scrub his hair with shampoo. He doesn't stay long in the shower, because he needs to save hot water for the two idiots to use.

When he's back in his living room, Shachi's sat on the couch, covered in towels, underneath him and on top of his head and shoulders. He runs to the bathroom as soon as Law's out, passing by him shivering and looking pale. Law has to give him the clothes the guy forgot to grab from his bedroom.

He finds Penguin in the kitchen, shirtless and with a towel on top of his shoulders, his soaked shirt inside the sink and his jacket nowhere to be seen.

"My mother used to say 'unlucky at cards, lucky in love'. Or something like that," he says while scavenging through all of his cabinets and his fridge. "The number of times I've lost rock paper scissors with Shachi should've been enough for me to be married to the perfect woman. You too, I guess."

"I don't play enough to know if I'm lucky or not," Law says, leaning against the counter, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"You're the one that's always saying you don't have luck in anything. But, lucky or not, you sure need a responsible wife more than me. Look at all these empty cabinets, look at that depressing fridge. A wife wouldn't let you forget to eat."

"I don't need a wife. I have you and Penguin for that, and you're both annoying as hell," Law says and watches as Penguin keeps opening every cabinet inside the damn kitchen, looking back at him every time he finds an empty one with that stupid expressing he puts on his face when he wants to prove his point.

"We're the ones that feed you, Law," he says after he's done opening every single one. Law counted a box of cereal that he knows would be almost empty by now, since it's been his lunch and dinner for a few days in a row, a few opened packages of cookies that he's sure are old and mushy, lots of condiments, spaghetti and a few more boxes that aren't worth mentioning. The fridge is even worse. "If you did it on your own we wouldn't need to mock you about it."

"You would mock me anyway, Penguin, you guys always do. Even if my kitchen was overflowing with food, you would find something else to complain about," Law says, angrily, and then turns his back to him, grabs Shachi's car keys from the dining table and his own wallet, still inside of his sports bag. "I'm going to buy breakfast."

"Law, c' mon don't be like that, you know I'm right!" Penguin follows him to the front door, he dares to follow Law after pissing him off.  _Fucking idiot_. Law wants to smash his head against the stairs.

"I don't care," Law says instead, slamming the door behind him. He goes down the stairs and he's able to feel his rage build up with every step.

It's still raining when he gets out of his building. It's not as strong as it was before but Law still has to sprint to Shachi's car and, by the time he gets there, the top of his sweater is wet against his skin and his hair is dripping. He feels like he needs another hot shower all over again.

Bell-mere's somehow different when Law opens the door, the bell jingling above him, he just doesn't know how different. His spot is occupied by an old couple drinking tea and watching the rain fall outside through the window and Nami's behind the counter, sat on her high chair and smiling softly at him. It's not her polite smile, or even her friendly one, it's the smile she uses when she has a lot of questions to make and doesn't know with which one to start.

Law gives her his best glare in return.

"Hello, Law!" She says as soon as he's close enough to the counter. "It's been a while, how are you?"

"I'm hungry," he says and watches as her expression changes to slight confusion and then to shiny eyes, her smile growing bigger with the thought of money. He orders four Marzipan-filled croissants with orange blossom glaze, three raspberry cream cheese muffins, one long-ass chocolate chip Danish braid, some honey almond pastry fingers with sesame seeds, and three coffees to go. He complains about the names, stating that they're abnormally big, to which she responds they are like that so people can know what exactly they're buying. He doesn't believe it, he knows the names are like that because she thinks it's fancier that way, makes her customers to focus on them instead of on the price. He doesn't comment on her lie, only pays and almost cries. That's why he doesn't eat, good food is too damn expensive.

Nami grabs everything he ordered from the display, in the exact same quantity he ordered, not even putting an extra pastry just for the sake of thanking him for his regularity as a customer, even though he doesn't come to Bell-mere's as often as he used too.

"So," Nami starts while putting the pastries inside two small card boxes, "how's Luffy?"

She took longer to ask than what Law has expected. He was expecting her to ask the moment the bell jingled on top of his head and she noticed him, so he looks at her and arches an eyebrow.

"Shouldn't you know better than me?" Law asks. Nami's mouth turns into a thin red line and her stare into a glare.

"You're such a jerk, you know that?" She says, bitterly. Yeah, Law knows. "I thought you were with him last night since you two are now best friends."

Law looks at her, first with confusion and then with anger.  _Why the fuck would I? And wait, is that jealousy? Fucking ridiculous. Un-fucking-believable_. "I went to his apartment twice, Nami. Twice. That doesn't make us best friends," he says and it's true, Shachi would've killed him if it wasn't. "And why the fuck did you thought I was with him?"

"Because-" she starts, motioning vaguely with his hand as if Law was supposed to get the reference, and then she just suddenly stops and turns around to make the three coffees Law ordered. "Never mind," she mutters, her back still turned to him.

"Spill, Nami-ya," Law says, leaning against the counter and nearer her, his arms on top of it and his fingers tangled. She turns around and puts the coffees and the card boxes on top of the counter, next to his right arm. He ignores them.

She stares at him and then sighs, a long and heavy sigh. "It's just- Luffy is scared of thunderstorms since he was a kid and he doesn't answer my calls. I thought maybe he relied on you since you were the one he has let in. I obviously thought wrong."

"I can't be with him every day, Nami," Law says slowly, holding the boxes on the curve of his left arm, against his chest, and grabbing the coffees, two with one hand and one with the other. "I have a life on my own to take care of," he says before heading out, not letting Nami give him a response.

He finds it stopped raining once he gets out of the Bell-mere's, letting a small and pudgy man that was about to enter hold the door open for him to pass through first. When he arrives back at his building, it's almost eleven and the sun sometimes appears in the space between the clouds.

He hopes Shachi and Penguin have starved to death but, when he opens his front door, he realizes that they've made a fucking bed on the floor in front of the couch, with all pillows and blankets and mattresses. They were watching a movie and eating his old and mushy cereal directly from the box, getting crumbs everywhere.

"Hallelujah," Shachi says, raising his arms to the air and opening his hands. "We were starting to think you've left us here to starve!"

"As if you would die that easily," Law mutters, meeting Penguin's stare and frown. It's obvious he didn't say anything to Shachi because, if he did, the guy wouldn't be so excited to see him and so unaware of the stares happening right in front of him. "I bought pastries and coffee," he then adds, taking his shoes off and heading to the improvised bed. It's way more comfortable than what it looks.

"Ah, you went to Bell-mere's! Did Nami ask for me? I bet she misses me," Shachi says, opening one of the boxes and shoving a croissant inside of his mouth. He almost dies drooling when he tastes it.

Penguin attacks the box on Shachi's lap too, but he starts with tasting the coffee, taking a small sip and burning his tongue in the process. He isn't as experienced as him and Shachi, he isn't aware of how hot Nami's coffees normally are, or wasn't until that moment.

Law watches as his friends eat everything inside the first box in only a few minutes and move to the other. The movie's still playing on the TV but no one is paying attention to it, they're too concentrated in the food and Law's too concentrated on them. He grabs a shiny pastry for himself but he doesn't give more than one bite before putting it aside, folded on one of the napkins Nami has put inside the boxes. He drinks his coffee slowly, letting his mouth get used to the hot liquid before swallowing. He feels it running down his throat and until it reaches his stomach, warming everything along the way.

It's weird how he was starving a few minutes ago but now can't even handle the idea of food, much less the image of two idiots eating like pigs in front of him. So Law just turns his head, looking through the window, noticing how the sun doesn't have space to be able to appear again. He feels his head heavy, the fucking weather does that to a person, too much pressure in the air.

Shachi and Penguin eventually stop eating and return to watching the movie. Law thinks it's funny how Penguin gave him a lecture about having to remember him to eat not long ago but now ate without checking if Law wanted something too, not giving two shits if he had a fucking muffin to eat or not.  _Fucking hypocrite_.

Apparently, the movie was in the final stretch and didn't take long before the credits rolled on the screen. Penguin stands to get rid of all the trash so Law puts the pastry he didn't eat inside the cup of his coffee, hidden in the middle of the napkin, and Penguin doesn't notice shit.

He ends up bringing Law's notes from the dinner table and spreads them on the improvised bed. Shachi turns off the TV and, soon enough, Law has to translate most of the things he wrote.

"You have such a doctor's handwriting," Shachi had muttered the first time Law has ever handed him one of these notes, and he continues to have the same opinion, even after years.

They end up studying until five in the afternoon, Law translating some words and answering questions Penguin and Shachi kept making to test his knowledge, having a break to order and eat four extra-large pizzas. He finds out he's fucked when they both answer way more questions right than him. The exams start in three days, it's Sunday and Law has managed to study only for a few hours, he's fucked, so fucked. He's not going to fail, because he isn't that bad, but he won't have excellent grades like he's used too, at least not with this pace of study, but, truth is, he's not at all worried. All the other times, all the other exams he made, he was nerve-wracking in all of them, he felt like he would throw up every time the thought of them came to his mind. He felt stressed when his pile of notes got bigger and bigger every day and felt frustrated after reading and memorizing page after page, only to find that he still had a lot more to read before he could say he was finished.

Now though, he couldn't feel calmer, more relaxed about the whole idea of exams. He just didn't care. He just didn't have enough appetite to study whatsoever, he didn't even make the resumed notes of the notes like he always did. That was his method. Make the notes of the books in his own way, in his own words, and then resume everything even more. It worked for him, but it was also hard for his hand and for the finger that took all the pressure of the pen, it was hard for his eyes and for his head, but it always worked.

But Law wasn't paying much attention when he wrote the notes Shachi and Penguin are currently holding, asking questions to one another. He didn't read them, he didn't study them, he just wrote the sentences, and now he can't remember shit and can't bring himself to care.

He blames the weather and blames the alcohol for his lack of concentration, just like he would blame the sugar or the sleep deprivation if he ate too many pastries or slept too less, but the fault is all on himself, he knows that that's why he keeps coming with excuse after excuse. He wants Shachi and Penguin out of his apartment, wants to close the blinds and to stay in the dark and silence, just for a few minutes. It would be enough.

He wants to break something, rip off something, hit someone, fuck someone. He wants to close his eyes and just hear his respiration and his heartbeat, not Shachi and Penguin, asking things he doesn't have a clue about, not his own thoughts, always messy and incomprehensible, not his conscious, telling him how he always fucks up, how he could've have done better on this and be better on that. He also doesn't want to hear the storm outside, the rain crashing against his windows, the distant thunders getting closer.

Nami's words play on his mind every time a flash of lightning strikes across the dark sky.  _Luffy is scared of thunderstorms. Luffy is scared of thunderstorms. Luffy is scared of thunderstorms._

And he gets angry all over again. He doesn't understand why he's the one that always has to fucking help, why there isn't anyone else responsible, just him, him and him only. It's frustrating because, as he said to Nami, he does have his own life to take care of, he can't keep taking care of others just because no one else lifts a fucking finger to help or care. He has things to study, has classes to pass, has a life to plan, has fucking exams and finals and no one helps him with that, in fact, no one else lets him focus on those things without interfering. Even his friends are thinking about themselves when they study with him, they don't help him understand the things he didn't understand, don't help with the notes, don't even give him back up or moral support, just grab his notes and study them and make a lot of noise.

He grabs his notes from Shachi's hand and starts making himself the questions, to him and then to Penguin. They both answer pretty well, even Law's impressed. He tries to formulate the major amount of questions with the things he has written in front of him that he can manage, if he keeps them occupied long enough if his questions stay challenging enough, then they won't bother with insist on making the questions themselves, to test Law again. That way, he keeps both of them and his brain occupied, even if it only lasts a limited amount of time.

It lasts a total of twenty minutes, then a big thunder blasts in the sky and Law swears he felt his apartment shake. Then the lights go off, only to come back when the three of them are nearly falling asleep on the improvised bed. The rain gets stronger, the lightnings more frequent and the thunder louder as the storm gets closer and closer.

"Okay, I'm done with this shit," Shachi says after the third time the lights had gone off, grabbing the notes from Penguin's hands and throwing them to the other side of the living room. Law should've been mad about that, but he too was done with them. "Law, do you mind if I smoke?"

 _Of course I do,_  he thinks. "Only if you smoke near a window, you can open the kitchen's one, it won't really be exposed to the rain," he says, making Shachi grin, brightly and showing all his white teeth perfectly even though his apartment is still dark.

"Awesome! Do you guys want some? I swear it's the best thing you will try in your life!" Shachi says excitedly, grabbing the patch of cigars from his pocket and showing it. Penguin joins in the excitement, which can only mean those cigars are not normal ones at all. Law refuses, smoking regular nicotine that calms you the fuck down is one thing, that thing on Shachi's hand is another.

Law then wonders what exactly he has agreed with letting Shachi do, how exactly will is apartment look and smell afterwards, how the three of them will be once the cigars are over. Law isn't going to smoke that shit, but he isn't naive or dumb enough to not know the mere smoke that will remain in the kitchen will have some effect on him, he isn't inexperienced enough to not know he will have to take care of his two fucking friends when they're both done. And he's not looking forward to that, not at all.

He follows them into the kitchen anyway, dragging a chair from its spot by the dinner table on the way. Shachi opens the window and then seats on the counter next to Penguin. He makes Law one last offer before grabbing his lighter from the pocket and lights his and Penguin's cigar at the same time. They take the smoke all in and play with it once it starts leaving their mouths, forming small balls and rings of smoke.

They look happy, but Law still gets bored really fast. The lights are still off and the only thing that illuminates the kitchen is the lightings still making their appearance every so often. Law looks through the window, to the red wall of the building next to his that covers the view but also protects that window from the rain. He can't see shit from outside, so he just gets up and goes to the living room, where the windows have a view to a small rectangle of the sky. The night has now completely taken charge and Law's actually surprised with how fast the hours have passed by.

He sees the lighting, fast and bright yellow, striking across the part of the sky he's able to see and hears the loud thunder that comes right after. The rain hits the windows violently and, for a few seconds, Law wished to be out there, receiving the fat drops right the face, looking up and letting the rain soak him completely. He used to love that as a kid, to go outside whenever it was raining and only go inside to find shelter when he stopped feeling his fingers and his face. He stopped enjoying rain after almost dying of hypothermia with only ten years of age.

The thought of his near-death, even though he doesn't remember most of it, leads involuntarily to the thought of Luffy.  _He doesn't answer my calls,_  Nami has said, but it was not like he answered most of them on a regular basis.  _He_ _hasn't called me either_ , Law thinks, wanting to smash his head against the window. He wonders how much rain it would take to wash all of his blood if he hit the window and died with broken glass ripping off the skin on his throat.  _I can't force help on someone who doesn't want it._

He turns around, ready to go back to the kitchen and maybe join them in the fun. He passes by the dinner table, full with opened and empty boxes of pizza, and two others, still untouched, that will serve as dinner. He grabs his resumes from the floor and throws them to the table, but then he stops and sees his sports bag, forgotten near the front door. And suddenly it all comes in one go to his brain. He forgot to put his phone charging, he forgot to even see if the damn thing was still working properly. He forgot it inside the bag, dead to life, uncontactable.

"Fuck!" Law bites as he approaches the bag with heavy steps. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, Fuck!" He opens it, and his phone's there, off and all alone. His fucking friends grabbed their own phones and put them charging, but didn't bother in putting his too. He punches the floor once, twice and he's going for a third punch when he hears Penguin and Shachi jumping off the counter, so he just stops. The last thing he needs is them complaining about his lack of anger management.

"Is everything okay?" Shachi asks, his voice slow and rough, smoke leaving his mouth with every word and stinking his living room.

Law ignores them and shoves them out of his way. He enters the kitchen and takes off the charger of Penguin's phone, the nearest one, and puts it in his. "C' mon," he mutters as he waits for his phone to charge enough to be able to come back to life. It takes too damn long for the logos to disappear and for him to be able to control his own fingers. His hands shake like he just took twelve expressos in a row.

"Law, you're scaring us," Penguin says, his voice on the same state as Shachi's. Law's scaring them, that's funny, especially when knowing neither of them is actually aware of what's happening, not when they aren't in their right minds, their eyes say it all, they aren't even fucking looking at Law, but through him, like he's some kind of hallucination. _That fear is going to go as fast as it came._ "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, go back to your smoke session," Law mutters bitterly and that's enough for the two bastards to leave him alone and go back to their spot on top of the counter. Law decides then he likes high Penguin and Shachi, they're not noisy assholes that ask too many questions.

His phone reveals four missed calls, two from Nami, made yesterday, at ten pm and at midnight, and two others from Luffy, the first made at one in the morning, and the second only at half an hour ago.

"Can I use your car, Shachi?" Law asks before having time to think straight about it. Shachi looks at him with those lost and brown eyes and smiles like the answer is obvious.

"My car is your car," he says, even though Law knows that's not at all true, "but where are you going?"

"I will back soon," Law says, not responding to Shachi question, which he doesn't seem to notice anyway. He doesn't understand what he's doing. "You can stay here for the night, there's still pizza for dinner. Just, try to not destroy my apartment and please don't kill yourselves, yeah?"

" _Yeah_ ," Penguin says next to him. "Just go get her tiger!"

 _There's no one to get, you fucking idiot_ , he thinks when he takes the charger off his phone and grabs Shachi's car keys, storming out of his apartment. He shouldn't leave his friends alone, all by their high selves, but they're grown-ups, and they're more than experienced on that shit. Plus, Shachi tends to get some sense when he realizes there's no one to save his sorry ass around, Penguin though, not so much.

He just hopes he still has a place to call home by the time he comes back.

.

.

.

He sends Luffy a text saying he will be there in twenty minutes before leaving the shelter of his building and sprinting to Shachi's car. He gets soaked within only a few steps in the rain, the cold drops hitting hard against his face and the puddles on the ground soaking his feet to the medulla of the fingers' bones.

It's a weird ride to Luffy's neighborhood. He isn't able to see much of the road ahead because of the fog, so he drives Shachi's car like he's a turtle and the car is his shell. At some point, he catches a car in front of him that's even slower and he swears he isn't moving at all, and neither isn't all the goddamn line of cars behind him, honking loudly. Some try to overtake both of them, but none is successful.

Eventually, the graffitis start to appear and Law honestly doesn't know if that's a good thing or not. He was expecting Luffy to call, to tell him there's no need for him to help, to make him go back to his own place, but he doesn't, or better, Law doesn't know if he called or not, because his phone died the moment Law entered the car, and he doesn't know if that's a good thing or not either.

He manages to park right in front of Luffy's building. He hits Luffy's button four times in a row, just for the guy to catch the urgency. Law's cold and shivering so hard that all he can hear are his teeth hitting each other, but he didn't bring spare clothes because he's a stupid idiot that for some reason stopped thinking things straight before acting. He hates going with the flow like Shachi always says he does, it doesn't work well for him most of the times, and neither does it work for Law.

Luffy doesn't open the door and Law doubts he will be able to enter the building like the first time, the only key he brought was the car's one. He goes to the parking lot and looks up to the dark sky. He knows Luffy's living room windows have the view to where's he's standing, he saw the parking lot when he opened them. He suspects the lights in Luffy's building are off due to the thunderstorm too because it's barely nine and all Law can see are faint lights coming from a few windows, probably candles, Luffy's windows not showing any light at all.

So he calls Luffy's name, first a normal call and then more like a shout. Time passes and it's only when Law is pondering to throw a rock to the window that Luffy opens it and puts his head outside, looking down and getting his hair instantaneously soaked in the process.

"Are you crazy?" He shouts back. Law can barely see his face, but he knows there's a tired frown across it. He can't stop a grin from forming on his mouth, he guesses he's turning crazier each day that passes, but he's under the rain, soaked to the bones and, for once in a long time, he's enjoying it.

"Open the door already," Law says and watches as Luffy's head disappears out of view. He waits until the window is closed before going back to underneath the small shelter where he was. He hears the door unlocking before he reaches to it, and he leaves a wet trail all the way up the stairs. He frowns when he realizes the grin was still there.

When he reaches Luffy's floor, the door is half-opened for him but he waits outside anyway and asks for a towel when he hears Luffy's footsteps near.

"You're ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous," Luffy says, throwing a blue towel to Law's face. His frown deepens when Law sees his messy black hair, a small towel over his shoulders, and then laughs. "What if I wasn't here? Would you be there in the rain forever?"

"It seemed a good plan a few minutes ago. Do I leave my boots here?" Law asks after entering, Luffy closing the door behind him. He rubs his hair with the towel until it isn't dripping anymore.

"Yeah, I guess," Luffy mutters, looking at him with those eyes that shine even in the dark, sounding uninterested. He's looking at his hair, staring at it, and Law wonders just how ridiculous he must look right now. "Do you, hum, want to take a shower or…?"

"A shower would be good."

"Yeah, okay, hum, my clothes don't really fit you though," Luffy says, taking a long look from Law's head to his toes, biting his lower lip. "You can use Ace's if you want."

 _I don't_ , he thinks. "If you don't mind," he says instead. Luffy face shows him he does mind but, when he takes another look at Law's miserable state, his expression softens and he heads to a door that Law supposes leads to Ace's bedroom. Chopper appears meanwhile, jumping and trying to climb up Law's legs. He bends down and pets him under the collar, where the fur is thicker and where he discovered he likes it.

"Ace was shorter than you, but I guess these will fit just fine," Luffy says, handing him a pile of fresh and dry clothes. Law won't mind if they don't fit perfectly, it's not like everyone is a giraffe-like he is, so he doesn't have the right to complain. "The bathroom his there," he lifts a finger and points to the door, right down the corridor.

As Law passes through the corridor, he stops momentarily and notices all the pictures hanging on the walls. Some have a lot of people in them, others just two, Luffy and another guy, looking so similar to him that it could only be Ace. Them on the beach, them hiking, them with Chopper, them everywhere, always grinning and happy. It's sad to think those pictures are just memories now, happy memories but still memories that won't repeat themselves.

The bathroom is a small thing with the toilet directly in front of the sink, not leaving much space to pass through and reach the shower. A pile of dirty clothes occupies the corner beside the shower, right next to an overloaded basket _. Looks like someone hasn't taken care of the laundry in a while too._

Law takes off his clothes and puts them inside the bidet and his stupid phone on the top of the sink. There's a big mirror on the wall that goes from the floor to the very top of it. Law can see all of his body on that damn thing and he doesn't like what he sees one slight bit. Luffy has put some candles here and there and the yellow light provided is enough for Law to realize how he has a horrible tone of pale, is skinnier than what he was last time he checked himself, and his hair is a confused and tangled black mess.

By the time he steps into the shower, he's shivering so hard he swears his knees are about to fail. The hot water warms him in no time.

Ace's sweatpants are a bit shorter for his legs length, leaving the lower half of his legs only saved from exposure due to the socks, but the sweater is large and comfortable and fits him just fine.

When he leaves the bathroom, he finds Luffy's sat on the couch, curled up inside a red blanket with a mug between his hands. There's another one on the small table in front of him, steam rising up in the air. Chopper's curled on the floor next to him, both of them looking through the window where the rain is still falling furiously.

Law hasn't heard thunders since he got there, which kind of ruins the whole purpose of him being there, but that doesn't mean the thunderstorm has passed. The lights still off are a strong sign of that.

"Hey," Law says and waits for Luffy to turn his head and look at him. "Where should I put my clothes?"

Luffy shrugs. "Just leave them in the bathroom for now," he then says, dismissively. Chopper raises his head from the floor, tongue hanging out of his mouth and he looks a Law with such an expression that he almost seems like he's smiling. Luffy reaches out and pets him on top of his head.

Law smiles a bit at that too, then the phone starts to feel heavy on his hand and he remembers it. "Do you have a charger I can use?"

Luffy points with his chin. "In the kitchen."

Chopper follows him and, as Law looks for the charger and finds it behind the toaster, he goes and eats from his bowl. Law waits for his phone to come back to life for the second time in that day and, when it does, it looks like an earthquake. Five missed calls from Penguin, one from Nami and four new messages from Shachi.

 **So at what time are you coming home?** , received at 8:36 PM.

 **Shachi fell asleep can we stay here for the night? Oh wait of course we can you took my car** , received at 9:24 PM.

 **Your apartment is fine. We're fine. I'm going to sleep so don't bother me asshole. Good luck with your fucking adventure** , received at 9:31 PM.

 **You coulve at least say goodnight** , received at 9:33 PM.

Law smiles as he puts his phone down on top of the counter. They're fine so that's one thing he doesn't need to worry about. He wonders if he should or not send a goodnight to Shachi, just for the sake of it, with probably an emoji sending a kiss, but then he decides against it, the guy is probably asleep by now and he did say to not bother him. He's actually surprised they went to sleep so early, it's not usual and they've managed to sleep in the tent, despite the noise outside, something Law didn't manage to do. But there Law is, awake as an owl while his friends must be snoring on the improvised bed, surrounded by pillows and blankets.

Chopper follows him back to the living room and Luffy makes some space on the couch for him, pointing for Law to take the mug from the table, containing tea. He burns his tongue and palate as he gives it a first sip and coughs as the hot liquid runs down his throat. Luffy laughs a bit beside him, but his laugh quickly dies when Law glares at him. His mouth was used to hot liquids before, now though, not so much.

Chopper jumps to the couch and lays down on the space between him and Luffy, his belly up and exposed, begging for Law to pet him. Law can't stop the thought that he should've felt more uncomfortable than what he's feeling from germinating inside of his head, after all, he came to Luffy's apartment without being invited,  _again_ , used his shower and is currently wearing his brother's clothes. Law's not good at starting conversations, especially with someone who thinks the rain is more interesting than him and keeps looking through the window, and he's also not good under weird silence because it's stressing as hell.

Law's starting to think that maybe the thunderstorm's over and it's better if he just goes home when a flash of huge lightning cuts the dark sky in half and the loud thunder that follows keeps echoing for a few seconds. He sees how Luffy jumps a bit, the spoon doing a whole round inside of his mug. Only then Law realizes what Luffy was doing, he was looking to the sky in an attempt to anticipate the lightning and thunder, to not be caught by surprise. He has obviously failed miserably.

"Once, when I was a kid, I spent the night at a friend's house," Law starts and Luffy looks at him with big and scared eyes. "At the time, Shachi was a kid that was scared of absolutely everything, especially thunder. So, when the thunderstorm hit that night his parents didn't know what to do, because I was there and they were never the good type of parents. I remember I grabbed the poor guy and dragged him to his bedroom while he cried drool and snot. We spent hours building a fort with his building toys and pillows and he didn't realize the storm had stopped."

Luffy smiles at his story, although it isn't true, after all, Law has only met Shachi in the first year of college, but Luffy doesn't need to know that and the fact he turned fully to him, his back now to the window, is an improvement. "When I was a kid I was obsessed with Jack and the Beanstalk. Ace was always saying how the thunderstorms happened because the giant in the clouds was throwing a party. The lightings were the party lights and the thunder was just them dancing, obviously that story didn't work for long," Luffy says, softly.

"Your brother seemed like a cool dude," Law says, and Luffy's smile grows a bit bigger although the sadness is still there. "Tell me about him."

At first, Luffy seems like he didn't want to, like the mere thought of him caused him pain, but then another lighting illuminates the living room and he quickly changes his mind, closing his eyes while talking. "He had wavy black hair that got really oily if he skipped shower only one day. He had freckles, thousands of them, on his face and shoulders. When I was a kid I used to fall asleep counting them, but every night I would come up with a different number. He also had narcolepsy and used to fall asleep basically everywhere."

 _That doesn't seem a good thing to have while driving a motorcycle_ , Law thinks but doesn't express his thought out loud. Instead, he listens as Luffy continues, with his eyes still closed but a small smile playing on his lips every time a new memory comes to his mind. Law puts his elbow on the sofa's back, resting his head on his hand while hearing Luffy talking, his voice starting loud and almost inaudible and then gaining more and more life as he kept talking.

"He had two tattoos, one on his arm and other on his back. I remember he loved to walk around shirtless just to show them proudly. I was the first person to whom he has shown them, and he was so happy when he realized I liked them," Luffy says, straightening upon his position, bringing the blanket closer to his face and hiding most of it in the process. "And he had a motorcycle too, a big and black thing that made a lot of noise every time he accelerated. We used to go everywhere on that thing. He used to love driving at night, especially out of the city where everything was pitch black aside from the road in front of him and the stars and moon in the sky."

Luffy stops talking for a while then and all Law can hear are a few sniffs every once in a while. Chopper's sleeping, curled up between them, his chest moving peacefully. Law wished he had something to say to that, but nothing comes to his empty and useless brain. Instead, he focuses on the mug between his hands, still full but now with cold tea. He forces himself to drink it, even though it feels weird against his burned palate.

"He was cremated while I was in the hospital," Luffy says, his mouth muffled by the blanket. "They didn't ask for my permission. I know I wasn't exactly in conditions to respond, but still."

"Nami said he would want that," Law says and receives a snort.

"Yeah, he would. He always said he didn't want a proper funeral, didn't want to just be buried on the ground for people to go there and cry and leave flowers. He said he just wanted a cremation and didn't care what happened with his ashes afterward. At least they saved them for me," Luffy says, sounding more miserable with every word.

"What did you do with them?" Law asks after a while of silence.

"He loved the sea, he said he wanted to live on a boat, or near the beach but, since we couldn't afford it, we chose this apartment. I'm sure you've seen the paintings around the neighborhood, yeah, of course, you did. Anyway, that's where I've thrown them, the sea I mean, there's a beach not that far and we used to go there quite often," he says, and stops again for a few moments. "You know, every time he looked at the sky he used to smile. He used to say the sky was a sea too, a much bigger one, made of air and gases and all that stuff. And the clouds were waves, but with more freedom than the ones made of water because they can have all sorts of shapes and forms. He said he wanted to be a cloud once, to be able to transform into anything he wanted. So now that he's on the water sea, I hope he goes up to sky one too," Luffy says, turning his head back to the windows, looking at the dark sky. The rain has stopped, but the windows have still some drops running down off it, making races with each other.

The lights in Luffy's apartment switch on out of a sudden, and so do all the lights in the neighborhood. "Looks like the thunderstorm has officially gone away," Law mutters and sees how Luffy's sighs, probably in relief. He wonders if he should get going now that the worst has passed, Chopper's fast asleep and Luffy looks like he desperately needs a bed too. He's pale and still shaking and, under real light, the dark bags under his eyes get more evident. "So, hum, what would Ace do now?"

Luffy let's out a small laugh before responding. "Snuggle in bed with me," he says, looking right at Law's eyes and catching him by surprise.

 _Well, I can't really help you with that_ , Law thinks and takes a deep breath, unfamiliar smells filling his nostrils, Chopper's, Luffy's and the ones coming from the clothes he's using. "Then why don't you take Chopper with you, put on some of Ace's clothes and climb into his bed?" _I'm sure his smell is still there, and Chopper must be great to cuddle with._  "Some rest would do great things to you."

"Yeah, I guess, but-" Luffy bites his bottom lip again, harder this time, and then sighs, closing his eyes and himself inside the blanket. "I don't like falling asleep now, I used to, but not anymore. I can't handle the thought of my subconscious taking over. It's just... I can't. Every time it manages to make me have nightmares and they're so painful to wake up from in the middle of the night when I'm all alone in the dark. But they're even more painful to remember afterward, to have flashes of images during the day. So I just sleep when I'm feeling utterly exhausted and when I know my brain is too, at least that way I have fewer chances of my mind turning against me."

"And aren't you exhausted?" Law asks.  _You sure look like it_. Luffy nods with his head, making the blanket move, following the movement of his head. "Then go to sleep and, if you have a nightmare, you won't be alone in the dark. C'mon," he says while rising from the couch, his legs barely supporting his weight with how numb they started to get. He puts the mug on the table and then approaches Luffy, opening the blanket and peeking inside, looking at Luffy's face. "I will be here when you wake up, yeah?"

.

.

.

Luffy's couch ends up not behind long enough for him and his feet hang out if he stretches his legs. He has two big pillows underneath his head and three blankets on top of him. It's been a long time since Luffy handed him the blankets and the pillows brought from his own bedroom and closed himself inside of Ace's bedroom along with Chopper. Two hours, maybe more. And yet, Law's still wide awake, surrounded by Luffy's things and Luffy's smell that fills his nostrils every time he moves his head on the damn pillows. He has pondered on throwing them away, across the living room, the farthest away he could manage, but not only would that be extremely rude, it would also lead to him not having any pillow whatsoever underneath his head and have to content himself with the arm of the couch, which isn't as comfortable.

But the smell is just so sweet, so addicting, so  _overwhelming_  that he had to stop himself from turning his face down onto the pillow and just breathe it all in more times than what he wants to admit.

Law has grabbed his phone from the kitchen before laying on the couch, has sent a message to Shachi saying he wouldn't go home that night and that he would return his car in the morning. He received a response an hour later, Shachi calling him a Casanova and telling him to enjoy and to not worry. He wonders what Shachi would've thought if he discovered the Casanova was looking at the ceiling, in the middle of the night without managing to fall asleep, and trying his best to breath the less as possible.

The thunderstorm seems to have passed for good. There's no rain falling, no lighting striking, no thunder making one hell of a noise and there's light coming from the streetlamps outside. Luffy's hasn't wakened up with a nightmare, but Law doubts he's sleeping profoundly yet, that is, if he's asleep at all.

He took his time processing all the information he received during his conversation with Luffy. He said so many things and Law such a few, but there weren't any right words that could match what he was hearing so keeping his mouth shut and listen were the best things Law could've done. That's all he knows how to do really, listening and paying attention. It worked with Nami, and with his friends before her, and it seems to be working with Luffy too.

Law stands up, one blanket covering his shoulders, and decides to go explore without making much noise, at least the living room and the kitchen areas, giving them a proper look he hasn't managed to give before.

Luffy's living room is a square and mostly blue colored thing, the color appearing on the walls, the curtains and on the carpet that has a small table on top and that stays in front of a light brown couch that without lights seem way darker than what it really is. There's a TV in front of it, huge and black, hanging on the wall and surrounded by a lot of paintings that cover most of the wall, some look childish while others just a mess of colors and shapes. There are wooden masks too, tribal looking, a vintage red clock, posters of places Law has never been too and a wooden board where papers, letters, postal, notes, and some photographs are pinned up to with push pins.

There are toys laying around, some half-eaten, others with just some missing limbs. Chopper's bed is under the windows, but it is in such a good shape that Law wonders just how many time it has been used.  _Probably none, a couch and a bed must be way more comfortable._

The kitchen is a small thing, filled with high cabinets, a rusty cooker and a huge fridge where magnets hold a few numbers without a name, an address, and notes.  _Buy food, do laundry, take Chopper out, buy new toys for him, buy more food for Chopper, call Nami, call Zoro, visit Usopp someday_ , Law reads. A toaster, a machine to make milkshakes and an orange coffee machine are all stuffed in a corner, on top of the counter. The sink is full of dirty dishes and a pan. There's a small window too, and under it stays a small and round table with three chairs, Chopper's bowls of food and water, both full, are right next to it.

He returns to the couch then, feeling the tiredness coming to his eyes. He falls asleep right after finding a comfortable position, lying sideways, facing the couch and with the pillow's scent, Luffy's scent, filling his nostrils.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that everyone has their own fears and they should be respected, independently if you think they're stupid or not, if you know the reason behind them or not.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there^^
> 
> This chapter is a bit different than the others, you'll quickly find out why, and I hope you guys like reading this change as much as I liked writing it.
> 
> I get that some of you may be desperate for Luffy and Law to finally be together and all that but, sorry to disappoint, it will take some time. I like slow-paced things, get to know each other, understand each other, that's the kind of stories I like to read and sometimes it's so hard to find one where the main characters aren't head over heels for each other in the second chapter that I wanted to proportionate one for the readers like myself, I guess.
> 
> Hope you like this chapter ^^

Ace's room is different, so different it hurts just to remember how it was before. It smells like dust and mold when before it smelled strongly like cigarettes and Ace's cologne. Now Ace's scent is fading away, from the sheets, from his old clothes, from the whole apartment, too fast and too soon. Everything's still in the same place as it was before the accident, except the bed that he keeps messing on the nights he can't fall asleep on his own. Luffy opened the blinds before climbing to Ace's bed and now the moonlight is illuminating the whole room, the dark sky now clear from clouds, letting some stars the town lights can't obfuscate shine here and there. It's like the storm never happened.

But it happened, his headache confirms it, and so do all the marks and scratches he left unconsciously on the skin on the back of his hands and on his arms, now red and painful, burning, some with a faint trace of dry blood on them, and there's also the bites on his thumb, his teeth marks still visible as he almost cut his flesh to the bone.

He usually managed to control himself when Ace was still around, after all, he didn't want his big brother to see the marks, to be worried about him. Most of them only stayed on his body for a couple of days, but others left some scars over the years and Luffy's ashamed of them all, because they made Ace's frown with worry whenever there was a new one. And some of his new ones will leave a permanent mark too, but now Ace's gone, and so are his reproachful frown and all his lectures. He's gone and so are his smiles and his comforting hugs and his tender words on his ear whenever a thunderstorm hits the sky. Luffy's unconscious is still there though, making him scratch his own body without letting him realize it until it's too late, making him bite his thumb until he feels the bone in between his teeth and the flavor of his own blood on his mouth.

Luffy still remembers when it all started, back when he was still a kid. It was a gray day and he was still living under Dadan's care, his grandfather sailing on the distant seas. He had made a bet with Ace and Sabo, and he was losing miserably. Luffy was never the best hunter, or the best fisher, or had any skills to make and place traps, so proving he could catch more animals during a week was being a lot more difficult than what his seven-year-old brain had thought. So he decided to go to the forest that day, leaving through the window without being noticed by his sleeping brothers. Dadan had prohibited the three of them from leaving the house that day, a violent storm was coming but, at the time, Luffy didn't give two shits about thunderstorms and, since Sabo and Ace were going to stay at home, it meant he would have an advantage.

He remembers catching a hare, and then a squirrel. Remembers when it started raining and he didn't care because there was a snake looking at him from ahead, fat and big, and he had his own weapon, although it wasn't more than a stick with a sharp rock on top. Remembers how the fog started to make him feel dizzy, how he stopped being able to see the top of the trees. And then the thunderstorm hit and the thunder echoed through the forest, making it sound like a beast, a vicious predator. He remembers how he tried to go home but couldn't figure out where he was. He knew that forest like the palm of his hand, the part not too far from Dadan's house at least, and yet he still got lost.

He remembers being soaked, shaking and having a cold. Remembers the fear he felt when the forest started making noises it never made before, when he couldn't distinguish anything that has near him or far away. The rain fell from the sky and he suddenly couldn't see properly, trying to get past the trees and hitting against the scrubs that grew underneath them violently. The wind ran through him and the trees, whistling so loudly it made his ears hurt, and the ground got tricky and muddy, full of puddles that hid holes bigger than his legs and slippery mud. Dadan always said for them to stay put, in the same place, if they ever got lost, waiting for someone to find them. Luffy got lost in the forest more times than what he could count on his whole childhood, and he always followed her advice, except that day were being exposed to the elements didn't seem the best option.

He doesn't remember how he found a cave, he just remembers getting there and sitting on the wet ground, shaking violently and with the dead animals around his waist. The storm dured two weeks, with loud thunders and lightings appearing every so often, but he only stayed in the cave for a few days before they found him. He remembers collecting wood from the outside and putting it to dry a bit so he could make a fire, but the branches were never dry enough. He remembers being so hungry one night he almost ate the hare raw, only stopping when a lightning stroke outside and illuminated the animal enough for Luffy to see all the white larvae it had already on its flesh. He remembers throwing the animal corpses he kept outside in disgust, and how they weren't there the next morning.

He remembers the thunders, making a loud noises, sounding like monsters. He remembers the shadows in the cave, how they appeared to move from one place to another with every lightning, getting closer and closer. Remembers how he started hallucinating with the fever he had, how his throat and ears hurt, but he doesn't remember that as vividly as the fear he felt, even though he forgot what he was even scared off.

He stayed in bed for days after that, with a damp cloth on his forehead and coughing violently. Sabo and Ace stayed with him the whole time and only left to go to the bathroom. He remembers how it hurt when Dadan disinfected the wounds he made on himself, how since that day she started taking notes about his nails length, making him cut them way more often than his brothers. He remembers how Ace gave him food, and how Sabo kept him entertained with his stories. They forgot about the whole bet, but Luffy didn't, they still won.

_I was always losing with them_ , Luffy thinks, hugging Chopper closely,  _and yet they're both gone while I'm still here_.

He misses being a child and running after Sabo and Ace in the woods. He misses being a teenager and Ace barely having money to keep both of them afloat. He misses them so much it's hard to put on words, it's like he has a hole on his chest instead of a scar, making him feel empty and alone even though he knows he would only need to make a quick phone call for all of his friends to be by his doorstep the next minute. He just doesn't want their company, prefers being alone in his apartment, reviving memories and enjoying Ace's scent while it lasts. People inside his apartment would only make the smell disappear even faster, get misled with theirs, turn it into only a memory like everything else.

He's not ready for that yet. He still needs to feel Ace's presence in his life. He wasn't prepared to live on his own, not like this, he thought that would only happen in a distant future, when eventually Ace got married and kicked him out, not so suddenly.

He hides his face on Chopper's fur, breathing in his smell and enjoying the warmth his small body irradiates. Sometimes he thinks Chopper's the one that really knows how he's feeling. When Luffy got out from the hospital, he went immediately pick up his furry friend from Usopp's house, and Chopper almost opened his wound when he clenched on him as hard as his small body could manage, as if he was afraid Luffy would run away and abandoned him again. In the first few days after Luffy returned home, Chopper just sat by the front door for hours straight, like he was expecting Ace to come home so he could jump on him and lick his face like he did so many times. But Ace never came and, eventually, Chopper stopped.

Chopper doesn't ask questions, doesn't give him comforting words or empty promises, he just seats beside him, licks his face at times and looks at him with those big brown eyes and lets Luffy hug him whenever he needs. Luffy doesn't know what he would do if Chopper wasn't around, remembering him he needs to be capable of taking care of him, to keep him fed and to go out with him for walks.

He would've cried if he could, but it's like all the tears in his eyes have dried up. His throat still clenches, his heart still hurts and his new scar still itches, but the tears never even make it to his eyes anymore. He wishes he could tear all the bandages on his chest open so he could scratch the scar with his nails, breaking the brown crust that has formed on top of the skin, but the last time he did that the doctor glared at him just like Dadan did when she had to disinfect his scratches, and then frowned in disapproval just like Ace used to do, and he's not ready to go through that all over again.

Luffy feels exhausted but, for some reason, the sleep still doesn't come. He's barely sleeping now and it's like the less he sleeps, the harder it is to do it. He lifts his left arm and exposes it. There are red lines everywhere, salient on his pale skin and they hurt, but it's such a pleasing pain that he wants more. A few hours ago he had a knife on his hand and all he could hear were the sounds of his own respiration and of the rain hitting the windows. The thunders had stopped but he knew they weren't over, he could still feel them, just waiting for the right time to blast, and he was not ready for them yet. He spent too much time scratching and biting when the thunderstorm started, and he knew the pain he felt wouldn't be enough to get his mind occupied during another round. He needed something else, something sharper, that hurt more and cut more deeply.

He thought his mind was playing tricks on him when he heard his name being called, though it was just his sane self calling him back to reason, warning him, remembering him he would regret everything by the time the thunderstorm passed and the marks stayed. But then he heard it again, louder, and that wasn't how his inner voice sounded like.

At first, Luffy ignored the calls. A part of him didn't want Law in his apartment, didn't want the guy to see how's he's been living, how miserable he is.  _Nami convinced him to come, like she always convinces everyone,_ Luffy thinks as he puts the knife in its place, _he will tell her everything after he leaves_. But the other part was feeling lonely, needed company, wanted to see Law's face again, feel his presence.

The moment he opened his living room's window, the rain soaked his head and hit his eyes, entering inside and wetting the floor. And there the guy was, standing in the rain with his imposing figure, soaked to the bones and wearing that damn yellow hoodie Luffy used to love back at Bell-mere's, even with Nami's words of disapproval beside him by the counter.

Luffy smiles a bit against Chopper's fur with the memory.  _He distracted me and now he's sleeping on the couch_. He wonders if he's asleep already, he looked tired when Luffy first saw him, water dripping from his hair and down his face, the dark bags never leaving his eyes. He promised he would be here in case Luffy woke up with a nightmare, Luffy just didn't expect it to actually be true. He thought Law was going to kiss him when he peeked inside his blanket, thought he would do something other than just look at him and then back off like nothing happened, like Luffy's heart wasn't hammering against his ribcage so hard he thought it would explode.

He feels his cheeks flushing and he feels ridiculous. His crush on Law started the very moment the guy first entered Bell-mere's, looking exactly like he did before changing to Ace's clothes, soaked to the bones, wetting his yellow hoodie, wetting Bell-mere's floor, ignoring him as he put his things on the table by the corner of the place. Luffy still remembers how he was surprised to see him behind the counter and then glared so hard it was actually scary.

His crush got worse every time Law visited, always carrying a lot of books and papers and his computer, spreading them on the table that quickly became his and almost drowning on them, always with the same facial expression, a mix of anger and tiredness.  _Back then I had Ace teasing me with why I suddenly wanted to work and came home happier, now I don't have Ace, nor do I have a job or a place to call home_.

He thought his crush had passed with all the shit that has happened though, but he's not sure anymore, not after the pun Law left when he was at the hospital, not after his visits.  _Not after today, and not after his face being so close._

Chopper moves on his sleep and Luffy has to let him go, too afraid he would feel suffocated and decide to go sleep on the floor instead. He brings the covers up, covering his neck and wrapping them on his back. He breathes Ace's smell on them, it's almost gone, but it's still there. The smell makes him feel more comfortable, safer, like Ace's still there, like nothing has happened.

Every time he falls asleep, he dreams with Ace. Some are good dreams, resembling more memories than actual dreams, and, when he wakes up from them, he usually feels lost and disoriented, like he just dreamt Ace died and he actually didn't, but then the real memories kick in, flashes of images he wished he could just delete from his brain altogether, and he realizes he didn't dream Ace's death, it really happened. It's hard to wake up like that, it drains instantly all the energy he managed to accumulate during the time sleeping, makes him want to just stay in bed, in the dark and silence without doing anything.

He hates those dreams, but he hates the nightmares even more, there are no words that can possibly describe the panic, the fear that rushes Luffy's body when he wakes up from those, covered in sweat and gasping for air, his scar itching so much on his chest that it feels like it's burning. The images are just too vivid, even after he's wide awake, too painful, him laying on the asphalt, ignoring the broken exhausting pipe burning his chest underneath him. Ace's always a bit ahead of him, surrounded by his motorcycle's pieces, some disfiguring his body, entering his skin and flesh. Ace's back is always turned to him, but so is his head, looking at him with white and dead eyes, his mouth moving, muttering something Luffy can't understand, blood dripping from it, to his broken neck and then to the asphalt underneath him, adding to the red puddle. Sometimes Luffy wakes up with the taste of blood in his mouth, others with the smell of gasoline and burned skin.

That's why he keeps avoiding sleep until he can no longer, until he's so exhausted that the mere fact of breathing is too tiring. He wonders what Law would do if Luffy woke him and told him he had a nightmare, or if he had to be awakened from one. He wonders what Law would possibly do. He offered his help, but Luffy doubts he thought that through.  _He would make me tell him the nightmare, probably_ , Luffy thinks, bringing his knees up, curling up in a ball.  _And I would tell him everything, because I can't keep my mouth shut._

But the sleep never comes, and neither do the dreams. He zooms in and out of conscience, resting his eyes, but opening them right after with every noise his ears catch. The dawn comes soon, with bright sunlight entering through the window. He moves into a position where he can look at the sky without awakening Chopper. He sees as it changes from pitch black to dark purple, then a mix of pink and light orange until it starts getting brighter and brighter, turning white and then changing to blue, first a pale one, then a more vivid tone. He barely sees clouds passing on the part of the sky he can see, so he supposes it's going to be a good day. He hopes so at least.

Chopper starts moving when the light hits his face and, soon enough, he's awake and frantic, licking Luffy's face with his rough and warm tongue. Luffy gets up, all his limbs complain about exhaustion, but he ignores them, he needs to go walk Chopper. He dresses the pants he was wearing yesterday from the floor where he has thrown them last night before climbing to bed, and puts on his slippers.

He grabs Chopper before opening Ace's bedroom door. Law's still sleeping on the couch when he approaches the living room, his back turned to him, holding one of Luffy's pillows close to his face. Luffy remembered the guy slept there, and yet his heart still skipped a beat when he saw his silhouette. Dark and unkempt hair, broad shoulders turned to him, the feet hanging out of the couch.  _Just like Ace used to look like when he fell asleep on the couch while watching television_ , Luffy thinks as he gets past the couch and leaves his apartment,  _his hair needs a comb_.

He didn't bring Chopper's leash, so he stays close to his building and far from the road. Chopper's a smart dog, but Luffy doesn't want to risk him getting ran over by a car. He takes a deep breath, inhaling all the odors around. The air still smells like rain and wet grass and dirt, the ground still has a few puddles here and there, but most of the pavement is dry by now. He watches as people leave his neighbor buildings, looking all sleepy and late for work.

He misses the time when he was one of them, always getting late for work when his shift at Bell-mere's was in the mornings. When he managed to change most of his shifts to the afternoon, his punctuality surprised even Nami, even though he still arrived a few minutes later than what he should. He misses Bell-mere's, misses his work and his customers, misses the rush hour and how exhausting it was, misses the smell of Nojiko's baked goods and their flavors when he managed to sneak one out of display or out of Nojiko's reach without anyone noticing. He misses how Nami used to yell at him back when he was so clumsy he couldn't do a single task without breaking anything, misses how she would still yell at him even though he improved a lot with handling everything without getting all dirty with coffee strains.

He misses having something to get his mind occupied with, but now Nami's coffee shop has a new employee, Shachi, the friend Law suggested to take his place behind the counter. Luffy knows it had to be done, Nami wouldn't be able to take care of the place alone, even if Nojiko used to help too when there was a big affluence. He knows it, and yet it's still sad to remember how he was substituted on the only job he was good at. The fact that he lost most of what he liked, all in one go, just seems so unfair.

Nami told him she would fire Shachi the moment he felt strong enough to start working again. He's not, the mere fact of standing has proved to be a hard thing when one doesn't sleep a full night for weeks, and the lack of concentration and a permanent headache only make moving around a lot harder. But he has to start working soon, at Bell-mere's or somewhere else, his savings can't really stretch that much longer and he has a rent to pay and a dog to take care of.

He stays outside for half an hour, looking as Chopper smells every possible thing he can before coming to him, tongue hanging out. He pets him behind his ears and heads back when he stops feeling his own toes.

Two things are different when he gets back to his apartment. First, Law's gone from the couch, second, there's noise coming from the kitchen.

Luffy puts Chopper on the floor and he immediately runs to the noise of pans hitting each other, followed by a round of whispered swear words. Luffy follows him right after, taking small steps.

Law looks nothing like Ace but, from behind and using his clothes, he still reminds Luffy of him, even with the height difference, and that makes him angry. It took too long for Ace's death to sink in, too damn long for the hope of it being a nightmare to fade away. He woke countless times in the middle of the night thinking he heard Ace getting home after a night out with his friends, waited for hours for Ace to open his bedroom door in the morning and yell for him to get up.

And now Law's there, using Ace's clothes and making as much mess trying to figure out the breakfast as Ace would do. Luffy wished he was Ace, would do everything for him to be there instead of Law.

He watches as Chopper tries to climb Law's legs while he tries desperately to not make noise or break anything, probably thinking Luffy's still sleeping. In the end, Chopper turns his attention to his own food and leaves him alone, Law sighing loudly right after. He jumps when Luffy gets near and mumbles good morning, taking over the mess his kitchen as turned in only a few couple of minutes.

He ends up making pancakes when he realizes Law didn't really like the other only option: toast. He doesn't have the right amount of most of the ingredients so he decides to improvise and receives dubious looks from Law, who helps by stirring everything together inside a bowl, his arm moving so fast even Nojiko would be impressed. Luffy ends up trying to teach him how to flip a pancake in mid-air, but the guy gives up after the second one hits the ground, stating they shouldn't be wasting their short amount of food, even though Luffy's aware the damn pancakes look horrible and not at all appetizing. He was never that good when it came down to cooking.

He leaves after eating and helping with the dishes, with Ace's clothes on and his still wet one's inside of a plastic bag. The whole thing was awkward but Luffy couldn't help himself but wish Law had stayed when he hears the door closing, all his energy leaving his body immediately.

It's only later that night, when he receives a bunch of texts complaining about how hard college life can be that he realizes it's final's week and that Law has spent a fucking whole night in his apartment, probably losing really precious hours of studying or just a proper rest by sleeping on his couch to make sure Luffy's nightmares wouldn't come.

He closes his eyes as a small feeling of warmth makes its way from his chest to all of his body. He's suddenly invaded with a need to cry, even though he doesn't really know why. Chopper's on the couch next to him and starts licking his arms, reminding his owner he's still there for him.

He knows he's probably thinking about it too much, giving Law's actions a deeper meaning, but he can't stop his mind from wandering thought, and he's actually glad that's what he's occupied with.

He sends Law  **good luck**  via text.

.

.

.

The days pass in a blur. Law doesn't come to his apartment again, but his friends keep calling like they're now used to do. He refuses invitations to meetings, lunch in group and simple walks. Chopper is the only company he allows to have around, and he's the best company he could've wished for. He knows when Luffy's down or wants to cry, licks his scratches with his hot tongue every once in a while, scratches, and barks at the door whenever Luffy closes himself inside the bathroom for too long and makes him leave his apartment to get some fresh air.

They end up staying hours in the park, getting deeper and deeper on it, exploring everything. It's nothing like the woods he was used to play during his childhood, it's only a park that starts appearing like a forest if they walk far enough from the entrance, but it's better than nothing. At some point, the natural path made of rock is gone, but the slightly crushed grass leads the way just as easily. The people disappear the moment the rocks do and he's alone with Chopper and nature.

Every day they walk a bit further and both of them are exhausted by the end of the day, which helps Luffy sleep like a rock and without nightmares, at least for a few hours. His legs hurt so much he sometimes can't handle to stand, and the bottom of his feet get covered with blisters that hurt every time he puts a foot on the ground but, once he enters the park, he stops feeling it.

He likes to hear the birds sing above his head, likes to watch as Chopper tries to catch every single squirrel that dares to cross his way, only to fail miserably. He likes the green in the trees and the colors of the flowers, blossoming on the ground. Likes to just wander there, his mind free from thoughts and worries, walking further and further into the trees. It calms him down, reassures him.

One day, the thought that he could get lost crosses his mind, but he doubts he has enough luck to just disappear in the woods like that, forever, leaving no trace behind to someone to follow. Doubts the forest is large enough for that either.

He wonders what he will find at the end of it, but he presumes it would only be another entrance, just in another place, far from his neighborhood.

Sometimes the thought of running away crosses his mind too, the idea to pack some shit and grab Chopper and just leave for a while, a year or two, with no cell phone, no internet, just him and Chopper, exploring maybe a foreign country where he certainly wouldn't find anyone he knows. But he can't, he often tells himself, because he has no money and no possibilities of getting away so easily, his friends wouldn't let him, by any chance. They would follow him to hell.

He knows they care for him, probably too much, too obsessively, but he still understands, he would do exactly the same if he was them, if he was the friend and not the victim. And that's exactly what fucks his head up, he was never the victim, he was never the one that needed comforting words or sympathy from others, he was always the one comforting, always the one that punched and kicked hard the ones who dared to make one of his friends feel shitty. He was always the one whom people came for protection, not the other way around, he was always short but strong and he only let Ace protect him, because both of them enjoyed playing the roles of younger and older brother like they were still young kids. But now Ace's gone and all of his strength leave his body the moment he rises from the bed.

He's not used to other people protecting him, and he doesn't like it, not even one slight bit. It makes him feel weak and powerless, the two things he hates but has still become without noticing.

Sometimes he wants to tell Zoro to cut the nightmares in half, to ask Robin for a story with a happy ending so he can forget his for a few time, to tell Nami and Nojiko to bring pastries so he can cry over sugar, to visit Usopp and play video games for hours while eating junk food, to go visit Sanji's restaurant and make him mad with the amount of food he can inhale in one go, without tasting it properly like he always complains about, to ask Brook to sing him a song, or to go help Franky in the carpentry. But he can't handle the stares, the awkward silence that falls sooner or later, the effort they make to not pronounce Ace's name or to say anything that may trigger a memory of him, like they think avoiding Ace's death and existence completely is the solution, like it makes Luffy feel better if no one talks about what happened.

It doesn't make him feel better, it makes Ace's death and life seem insignificant because no one seems to care. He wants to talk about his brother, about his past stories with him, about their achievements, about the goals they had together and that now are never going to come true. He wants to tell what he liked to do, to eat, to listen, to see, what made him happy and what didn't, what made him proud, what made him angry. But, every time Luffy initiates a conversation about him with one of his friends, the awkwardness always takes place because they don't know what they're supposed to do or say, they don't know he would very much appreciate if they just shut up and listened instead of trying to change the conversation to a much more comfortable and happier topic.

For now, Law was the only one sensible enough to do that, even if Luffy wasn't the one initiating the conversation, it was him only that encouraged him into talking more about Ace and  _damn_ , how good it felt. Luffy wished he had told him more, but it caught him so out of guard that all his thoughts got confused inside of his head and all the memories started to just come in one go, one after another, really fast, so he ended up rambling random things with no connection at all.  _Maybe he was just curious_ , Luffy thought while resting under a tree's shade, Chopper laying beside him,  _he never met Ace after all, it wouldn't be awkward for him to ask about a person he has never met._

_._

_._

_._

Weeks pass and he starts getting out more, with his friends or on a walk through town with Chopper. Nami stops being so clinging when he gets back at Bell-mere's, first as only a customer and then as an employee again. She ends up not firing Shachi and sometimes they end up sharing a shift, but Luffy's mostly alone behind the counter the rest of the time. His shifts get a bit shorter and Nami starts appearing lesser and lesser, trusting her coffee shop to her employees and sister. He knows she's planning on opening another one on the other side of the town, Nojiko has told him so one particular day, and, apparently, she's having a few problems with finding a suitable place. Luffy's happy for her, but he decides he will wait until she tells him about her plan to show how proud of her he is.

The first thing he noticed when he got back at work was that now there's a small and curve couch in the corner, the chairs are gone. He smiled when he saw it, but Law never came to see and sit on it, at least no not on his shift.

He sometimes asks Shachi how Law is, when they share a shift and the conversation is heading through a neutral topic. The guy always responds Luffy's questions promptly, but it takes him no time to start telling things about himself, which Luffy doesn't really mind, Shachi's stories are funny and most of them involve Law anyway. Law saving the day, Law driving his friends home after a night of drinking, Law letting his drunk friends crash at his apartment, Law always knowing the best ways to treat a hangover, Law, Law,  _Law_. It's like everything Law's small circle of friends does ends up always involving Law and him taking care of them. It's like the guy has no time to have fun too, and maybe that's why he looks so protective and so rude and bitchy and knows how to handle things just right because, apparently, he has been taking care of his friends for a while now. He wonders if Nami knows about that piece of information, if that's why she chose him as her prey and spy.

He decides then to make his goal to make Law have a bit of fun the next time he sees him, but, in the meantime, he works and has to respond politely to the regular customers that noticed his absence and gave him their condolences, he goes to the park with Chopper and only comes home when it's pitch black and he starts to get cold and Chopper tired, he tries to socialize with his friends more often, getting out with them and answering most of their phone calls. It works and keeps him distracted during the day, but it doesn't so much during the night, when he has to return to his own apartment and the sleeping Chopper can't help him with his loneliness, with controlling his mind, with getting him to sleep too.

.

.

.

It's hard to get back to sleep after waking up from a nightmare and it's hard to keep his fingernails away from his skin for too long too. Sometimes he blacks out and wakes up in a different part of the apartment with Chopper licking the blood from his arms and he feels confused and tired. He starts wearing an open shirt over his tank tops so he can cover his scratches and it gets harder and harder to stand the heat with it as the summer gets closer. No one comments on that though, which he's glad.

One day, he fell asleep in Bell-mere's when he was alone behind the counter and no one was coming through the door or was sitting in the tables. Nojiko was in the kitchen doing some experiments to make new food but, when she came out, she noticed Luffy's head laying on top of the counter. Apparently, he snored a bit and she didn't give him a lecture only because of the circumstances Luffy was passing through, and because there were no customers around that needed his attention either.

After that day, he started sharing more and more shifts with Shachi. He likes to think Nami did that so he wouldn't be so bored to the point of falling asleep instead of making sure Shachi kept an eye on him.

But he doesn't mind, much. Shachi's a good company and he enjoys the guy being around even when he starts getting annoying. Sometimes he brings his books and studies, others he just uses his phone that his permanently charging.

With him, Luffy found out Law's in medical school and that his finals didn't go as good as they should for him, considering the guy is apparently a genius. Found out that he's stressing about it and stressing about life more than usual and that he's ditching his friends' invitations to parties more than usual too.

Luffy tries not to ask too many questions about Law because his friends always say he's not subtle at all and he doesn't want to let Shachi know about his real intentions, he's sure the guy would immediately babble. So, instead, he asks about things that may involve Law, like about college or something, and Shachi's happy and rambles for hours. Apparently, Law's spending some hot time with a girl Luffy can't help but forget the name, but Shachi said it should only be a thing to pass the time, that if it was important he would've already told his friends officially about her, which he still didn't.

Luffy felt his heart getting punched slightly with that, but it's not like it wasn't obvious that he wouldn't have a chance with Law. He wants to ask Shachi about her, about what she looks like, about what she has in herself that caught Law's attention, but, instead, he asks why Law hasn't come to Bell-mere's in so long when he used to come every day.

"He only came here during my first few days, he rarely came afterward," is Shachi's simple response, accompanied with a shrug. The guy redirects his attention to his phone then and starts typing furiously, a silent way of telling Luffy that the conversation is over.

A few people enter the coffee shop but they're so quickly attended that they barely keep Luffy distracted for more than a few minutes. He looks at his forgotten phone and, for the first time in what appears to be ages, it isn't full of unread texts, although he wished he had at least a few so he could distract himself with texting nonsense. He starts scrolling through his long contacts list to chose a victim when he realizes the only person he actually wants to text is Law, even though the guy has a few problems with keeping a conversation over texts going.

The last text he received from him was a simple  **thank you**  as a response to the good luck text Luffy sent, and that was too long ago.

Shachi's words play on his head. He wonders why Law stopped coming to Bell-mere's when he obviously liked the place before the accident happened. He wonders if he got tired of the place, if he got a coffee machine for himself and internet at home, or if Nami did something.

Luffy wonders if he knows he started working again, which he probably does, considering Shachi knows and can't keep his mouth shut for more than a few seconds. He wonders if they talk about him.

He's pondering of what kind of text he should send when Shachi grabs his things and walks off, waving at Luffy before leaving, his shift being over. He's still pondering when a customer decides to finally appear, a young girl not older than twelve, ordering a lot of pastries to go and grinning brightly when Luffy puts a few more maple bacon cupcakes inside of the card box with Bell-mere's logo on without charging for them. It's only then that he realizes he should send a pun, in reference to the good old days.

**Bellmeres feels oddly desserted today** , he types and sends before he has time to think twice and regret about it.

The answer comes twenty minutes after.  **It took me some time to get it you know, cant decide if your puns are getting better or worse** _,_  received at 5:31 PM.

**I like to think im improving** , sent at 5:32 PM.

**Not sure if i want to know how bad you were when you started** , received at 5:39 PM.

**Want company?** , received at 5:39 PM.

**I would berry much like that** , sent at 5:40 PM.

**Theyre getting worse** , received at 5:43 PM.

It takes a while for Law to finally get there. A few customers arrive in the meantime and sit quietly on the seats near the windows, watching the people and cars passing by outside. Luffy watched every single one of them and felt a huge wave of relief when neither of them chose to sit in the couches by the corner, he wants Law to see them and sit there.

Luffy sees him through the windows, the sunlight hitting his face directly and making him appear really mean with a frown and skin paler than what it really is. It's a vision that makes his heart skip a beat and, when he opens the coffee shop's door, Luffy notices he's wearing a t-shirt that leaves his pale arms uncovered and shows the tribal-style tattoos on them. It's the first time Luffy sees them and he tries not to stare at his arms too much. He likes them.

Law's also carrying a small plastic bag and he puts it on top of the counter as soon as he gets close enough. He doesn't have to tell Luffy it's Ace's clothes that are inside.

"I'm sorry I didn't bring them sooner, I forgot," Law explains as Luffy takes the bag off from the counter and puts it on the floor next to his feet. "I also washed them," he says, uncertain, "I thought maybe you wouldn't want me to since they were your brother's but they got a bit sweaty before I got home and had time to change."

"It's cool," Luffy says, it's not like Ace's smell was still on them. "I wore them more than him," he adds and, for a moment, Law appears to be having a mental discussion with himself, but it doesn't last more than a few seconds and then it's like nothing has happened. "So, what are you having today?"

"Just a coffee," Law says, a smile playing on his lips, and Luffy has to fight the urge to roll his eyes.

"Coming right up," he says instead and enters the kitchen where Nojiko's sending texts on her phone, sat on top of the counter, covered with the white of the flour while her new inventions of pie cool off on top of the kitchen island. She smiles when she notices him standing there.

"Boring day, huh?" She asks, ignoring the phone beeping between her hands.

"Yeah, a bit," Luffy says. He takes a closer look to the pies. They look good, as always, and smell just as deliciously as they always do after coming out of the oven, filling the whole kitchen with a sweetness he had missed. There are three of them, all similar and beautiful, with an orange-colored crust. "What are they?" He asks, looking back at her.

"Honey Thyme Apple Pies," Nojiko starts, her eyes immediately lighting up with the enthusiasm of talking about her food. "They're not only beautiful to look at, but they're also even better to eat," she points to a smaller pie, half-eaten, right next to her. "Here, eat the rest, I saved it for you anyway."

Luffy takes the pie from the counter and digs in, using the same fork Nojiko has used. The flavor isn't at all what he had expected, the apple is there, and he guesses the thyme is there too, he just can't quite figure all the rest. He arches a brow at Nojiko.

"The little bit of thyme gives it an unexpected flavor, right?" She says, smiling. "It also contains honey and balsamic vinegar that offset each other."

"It's good, I mean, it's really, really good. Delicious, as always," Luffy says, making her snort and roll her eyes, a soft smile playing on her lips. "Are they good to sell already?"

She arches a brow. "To sell or to give?"

Luffy feels his cheeks flushing and stares back at the pastries. "They're new, you always want compliments on your new inventions, it's my job to provide them."

"Yeah, yeah, go lie to someone who believes in you," she says, redirecting her attention back to her phone. Luffy cuts two small slices and puts them on top of a small plate, frowning when they get all messed up in the process. He then leaves the kitchen to start preparing Law's coffee.

One of the things he found most weird once he got back at Bell-mere's was how the coffee machine became strangely difficult to work with, just like it was in the very first days Nami had hired him. It was like he forgot how the thing worked, or maybe it was just his movements that got slower and sloppy, either way, that earned him a few burns and a few hours of cleaning the mess on the floor after an incident with someone's order. He doesn't mess Law's order, thankfully, and the coffee turns out just fine.

He takes one of the slices out of the plate, putting it on the counter, on top of a small napkin beside the register where no customer is able to see so he can try them on later. It takes him a while to think of a suitable pun and, when he looks in Law's direction, the guys looking back at him with impatience and frowned brows, he just writes  ** _Youre my all thyme favorite customer_**  on a yellow piece of paper and sticks it next to the pastry on the plate.

It's weird how the action of crossing the coffee shop towards Law's table only takes a few moments but reminds him of so many more times he has made the same trajectory. Luffy doesn't know what he was expecting when Law doesn't invite him to sit with him, just thanks him with a smile and then turns his attention back to his computer screen. Luffy doesn't know what he was expecting when Law doesn't really make any effort to talk to him, only looks in his direction when he feels his stare. Luffy doesn't know what he was expecting when Law leaves after paying for the slice of pie on the tip jar and tells him to tell Nojiko the damn thing was delicious. Luffy doesn't really know what Law meant when he offered his company, but he sure feels a bit disappointed. He was just expecting something else, a conversation at least, not the same thing that happened every single time before.

He stays at Bell-mere's until late to help Nojiko close the coffee shop, cleaning the floor and positioning the chairs upside down on top of the tables and then putting them all next to the wall, cleaning the coffee machine and the counter, and only after going into the kitchen to help Nojiko with the trash. In the end, when everything's all clean and shiny, Nojiko sends him away with his backpack full of the lactose and chocolate free pastries that no one bought, a small treat for Chopper, saying she can manage the rest of the cleanup by herself, even though there's really not much left to do.

He half jogs to his apartment, not really because he wants to get there but because he wants to take Chopper out of there, go explore the park a bit more, eat a burrito from a food truck along the way. Chopper jumps at him happily and scratches his legs with his nails, tongue out of his mouth as if he's smiling, smelling the pastries on Luffy's bag. Luffy gives him two small muffins and fills Chopper's bowl for him to eat while he changes his clothes to more comfortable ones, a large and old orange hoodie that belonged to Ace and sweatpants. He grabs Chopper's leash, puts some money inside his phone's case and shoves two small water bottles inside of his backpack before heading out, Chopper trotting happily behind him.

The air of the night is cold against his face and he smiles as he covers the back of his head with the hoodie's hood. The street is still full of life at that hour, so he keeps Chopper close to his legs, the leash short. He buys two burritos in the way, to a guy with a dubious food truck but that is nice and already treats Luffy like a friend, always putting a few extra things inside the burritos and giving him a few strips of bacon for Chopper to eat on the way.

It only takes some minutes for them to arrive at the park, and then a few more to arrive at the forest area, the lights getting fewer and fewer along the path. Luffy uses his phone's flashlight and frees Chopper from the leash.

Luffy walks alone for a while, Chopper going to explore for a bit on his own, but he knows he's around, he always is. It's weird how calm he feels, with dry leaves cracking underneath his feet, the wind blowing through the trees, the sky showing a few shiny stars and the darkness surrounding him. He takes a deep breath, breathing in all the smells of a chill spring night. The wind makes his eyes watery and his face numb but he doesn't mind, that piece of forest is the only place that manages to calm him down, to make him feel peaceful.

He wished he explored the place sooner, when Ace was still around, he's sure his brother would love it as much as he does. Now he can only hope Ace, if he's watching him from above, likes what he sees.

Luffy sits on the ground when he reaches the clearing that has become his favorite place, his back leaning against a tree. The clearing is nothing more than a small circle with only grass and a few flowers here and there, surrounded by high trees that are dark in the night and contrast with the open space in between, illuminated by the full moon. It's an almost black and white image that took his breath away the first time he saw it.

Chopper comes back when Luffy takes the burritos out of his backpack, putting one on the ground next to him for Chopper to eat. Luffy eats his dinner with the sounds Chopper makes while chewing and the ones coming from the forest around him, and it's the best dinner he could've wished for.

.

.

.

He always dreams in the third person, or so he remembers his dreams to be in the third person. He's always the watcher of the scene, even when he's in the dream he watches himself do things. It's a weird perspective sometimes, as if he's watching a movie.

He watches himself riding Ace's motorcycle behind his brother's back, grabbing him tightly. They're both happy and smiling, surrounded by more motorcycles with drivers whose faces he can't recognize. The road is a straight line and Ace speeds up, the sun is setting in the background and Luffy knows he's happy.

But, suddenly, the other motorcycles aren't there, riding along with them, and the sunset makes the sky more red than usual. Ace's face is turned at him, but so is his back, and blood is dripping from his mouth along with pinkish foam that falls down to the back of his leather jacket. His eyes are dead, but his smile is still there, his white teeth covered with red.

He watches himself trying to talk, knows he's trying to asks if Ace's okay, what's happening, but the words never leave his mouth. The bike is still somehow riding, the road still a straight line and, suddenly, Ace's on fire, not covered in flames but still burning, like a piece of paper that slowly burns and leaves only ashes behind. Luffy watches as his brother disappears in front of him, the ashes flying away with the wind, and then he hears the sound of a loud honk. Then a truck is in front of him and Luffy wakes up before crashing into it, covered in sweat and gasping for air. Chopper jumps to the bed and starts to frantically try to smell everything to realize what happened and where's the danger but he can only smell his owner's fear. Luffy stumbles out of his bed, shaking so furiously he's almost knocked down when Chopper's tries to climb onto his legs, unable to maintain the balance on his feet.

He goes to the bathroom and throws up the burrito and the pastries he ate for dinner, falling onto his knees in front of the toilet. Chopper follows him and he has to shove him away before both of them calm down. He has to clean his teeth to get rid of the acid flavor off his mouth and he scrubs so much his gums bleed. When he looks at himself in the mirror his mouth looks so much like Ace's on his nightmare that he almost wants to throw up again.

He's still shaking so violently that he almost falls when he tries to enter the shower. When the hot jets of water hit his cold body, his clothes still on, he almost jumps out with the heat shock, but he forces himself to stay inside and when the shivering stops he can't help himself but lean against the wall and cry helplessly, the salt tears getting mixed with the water running down his head. His head feels like it will explode and the scar on his chest burns and itches due to the soaked clothes glued to it, but he can't bring himself to care, he can't bring himself to stop crying.

Images of the real death, of all the blood and of his nightmare cross his mind and he tries to make them go away but they stay there, vivid and scary, even when he closes his eyes and rubs them with his closed fists. He feels his throat clenching and sometimes he stops breathing altogether, his mouth opens but the air doesn't enter properly, only for than a big amount to enter his lungs, like a hiccup of pain and oxygen. He feels his heart pounding against his ribcage, hears his own rushed pulse on his ears.

He doesn't notice the hot water being replaced with cold one until it's too late, until he's even colder than before. He stumbles out of the shower and gets rid of his soaked clothes, shivering hard as he tries to cover himself with towels, sitting in the bathroom's part of the floor that managed to remain dry. Chopper comes to him and lets him hug him, lets him bury his wet face in his fur and steal part of his warmth.

Luffy wants to scream, but all that leaves his mouth is a small whine that gets muffled with Chopper's fur. He can see himself in the long mirror that has the length of the bathroom's wall, can see his cadaverous and pale face, humid with tears and the water that drips from the mess of his hair, his eyes red and puffy.

He can't help but let a wave of pure wrath rush through him. He's not that person in the mirror, he doesn't believe he has let himself look like that, so fragile,  _so weak, so ridiculous_. He's not like that, his eyes don't look like that, his face doesn't look like that. He's never showing what he has become to anyone, he will never let anyone see him like that. Never.

It takes him a while to have enough strength to rise from the floor and, when he does, his legs are numb and Chopper has fallen asleep. He lets the towels fall to the floor and carries his small friend on his arms, putting him on top of Ace's bed before grabbing some of his brother's clothes from the drawer. He spends the rest of the night awake, the thoughts on his mind running over and over again, not letting him rest. He feels lonely and stupid and his head hurts. He's exhausted and his eyes feel heavy but he doesn't have courage enough to let himself fall asleep.

He doesn't go to work in the morning, and he ignores all the phone calls his action produced, staying inside Ace's dark room, surrounded by all his things and curled up on his brother's bed with Chopper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that depression is not a joke, and neither is suicide or self-mutilation. They're not just overly dramatic or a call for attention. If you know someone who's struggling, help them, the best you can and with patience. If you're depressed or have suicidal thoughts get help, talk to someone, there's no shame in helping yourself. 
> 
> Be proud of yourself and of who you are. If you are not, then try your best to be someone to be proud of, someone you like and are happy to be


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there^^
> 
> This chapter has more dialogue than what I'm used to writing so, if it feels odd sometimes, I apologize in advance. I'm still learning how to properly use and abuse it.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter^^

Law has learned how to appreciate Bell-mere's from the outside while waiting for Shachi to get out of work. He rarely gets inside nowadays, prefers to wait for Shachi to bring him a big cup of coffee because when Law finally arrives at the coffee shop it's normally the time Shachi's shift ends.

At first, Law entered and sat by his corner like he normally would, but then Shachi started to sit in front of him, frowning and muttering under his breath for Law to hurry the fuck up and drink his damn coffee, and that was extremely annoying, to say the least. So he just stopped entering altogether. There was no point in going inside if he was just going to come out right after, most of the times Shachi was just waiting for him to appear so they could leave together anyway.

So, now, he just waits outside, stands there by the window, waving at Luffy when he catches the guy looking at him, or leans against the wall if he sees that Shachi's still packing his things. It's a bit weird, he misses the new couch on his spot, since that thing is comfortable as hell, even though he just had the privilege of sitting there a couple of times, misses the calmness he once felt inside Bell-mere's, before Shachi started to work there, and misses the pastries, more than what he will ever admit. It's not like he doesn't buy one every once in a while when he's really craving for sugar, or that Shachi doesn't bring a bunch inside a card box with him more often than not and lets him have one. It's just that they taste differently. He doesn't know how different or why, he just knows they do, like there's something he can't quite figure out what missing.

But he got used to it eventually, it's more practical actually, and it's not like he needs to do anything inside Bell-mere's anyway.

From the outside, Bell-mere's seems like a small little place, located on the ground floor of a three-floor building whose front walls can't fit more than two big windows per floor. It's not that hard to understand why Law didn't know the place existed at first sight. Until a few weeks ago, the only sign showing there was a coffee shop there was the small plaque hanging on the wall saying 'open'. Now though, the place's name is written on both windows with a faint tone of brownish-yellow that, even though it barely stands out, it's more than what it ever had. Fortunately, there's a good amount of people that know about its existence, and the space inside is so well used that the lack of it goes mostly unnoticed.

Law takes his phone out of his pocket, looking at the time and starting to get impatient. Shachi doesn't normally take this long and the sun hitting Law directly in the face isn't helping much. He tries to make the most out of the thin shadow the street lamp just ahead of him projects, but he's not that thin. He grabs the pack of cigarettes out of his backpack, picks one and is about to light it when someone opens Bell-mere's door and sticks the head out.

It's obviously Luffy, looking at him first with an unsure smile and then with a surprised one, almost like he didn't know Law smoked.

"Hum, Shachi's calling you," he says, his voice sounding unsure. He opens the door a bit more, showing that damn red cardigan he can't seem to wear nowadays, even though it's so hot he's probably melting inside of that thing. His hair is messy and shaggy, as if someone has run their fingers through it multiple times.

Law puts his cigarette back inside its pack and then sighs. "Can't he tell me whatever it is in the car?" He mutters, more to himself than to Luffy, not intending to sound rude. He receives a shrug in response.

"He's on his computer, maybe he wants to show you something," Luffy says, stepping back and holding the door open for Law to pass through, then heading towards the counter as soon as Law's inside. Law notices the straw hat hanging around his neck, swinging on his back with every rushed step. He normally puts it on the safety of the counter, right beside the register, he wonders why he has kept it on.

"Ah, finally!" Shachi says as soon as Luffy gets near him, warning the few customers sat inside the place about Law's arrival and making them all look at him. He sometimes doesn't know why he hasn't strangled Shachi yet, he has had quite a few opportunities to do so. "What took you so damn long to realize I was not coming out? You were supposed to be the smart one, man!"

Law hears Luffy chuckle, so he glares at the guy's back while approaching Sacchi and his stupid computer that has been to hell and back, considering his poor state. "What do you need?" He asks.

Shachi raises his eyes from the screen and Law can see how tired they look. His hair looks wet and messy and his hat is nowhere to be seen and he looks miserable and exhausted. "We need to choose Penguin's birthday present, right now. The delivery takes at least two days and his birthday is on fucking Saturday," he says, rubbing his left eye with his closed fist. Law chooses not to mention they still have four days to figure out the present, only lets him rant. "And if we add the usual delays or some freaking problem we might not even have one, but I guess we still have the receipt to show him we haven't fucking forgotten to buy him a present."

"Okay, you're overreacting now," Law says, leaning over the screen to see better, his palms resting on top of the counter on each side of the computer. He knows how Shachi is, he loves to give presents to everyone he knows on their birthday, mostly because he wants to receive presents on his own birthday too. The more gifts he gives, the more likely it is to receive gifts back because people usually like to reciprocate, or so he says. "Let's see what you got."

The screen shows three open google tabs of the same site, but of different items.

"So," Shachi starts, leaning in to try and see, his chest brushing the top of his computer screen, "remember that idea we had? About buying him a new cap to replace that old and depressing thing of his?"

"I do have a vague idea, yes," Law says absently, examining each tab.

"Great, so I searched for some cool caps that would suit him and ended up finding this site that has three potential ones-" he pauses as the door's bell tingles. Law looks up and catches Luffy telling Shachi he will attend the customer with only a hand movement. He leans forward to let Luffy move behind him freely. "Yeah, that. I liked this three. The prices are a bit...exorbitant, but I think it's worked. Plus, we're both playing for it. I'm sure Jean will join in too, but I'll talk to him about it later."

"I don't like this one," Law says, closing one tab, ignoring Shachi and making him gasp out loud and mutter that he should have a little more respect for his effort under his breath. Law senses the newcomer customer's eyes on him as the first sounds of Luffy touching the weird coffee machine start to fill the place. Law turns his head to the person beside him and is only mildly surprised when he sees a weird-ass punk with green hair and no eyebrows glaring at him. The guy seems familiar, even though Law doesn't know from where. He sometimes wonders what he might have done in a past life to receive all the glares he receives on a daily basis, especially from such a demon looking person.

Law decides he doesn't care and looks at the screen again. He hears Luffy finishing the guy's coffee and then handing it to him, the guy quickly rushing away from the counter right after. He doesn't hear the bell jingle, so he guesses the guy took a seat.

"-and this one seems kinda like the one he has, expect from the pompon that instead of being red looks like a Penguin," Law catches Shachi saying and realizes he didn't hear the first part, although he's sure it was probably not even important.

"So this one then."

"The second one? But it doesn't have penguin written, just the figure on top. I guess I could order it customized but it costs more-"

"The first one then."

"Law! The first one doesn't have the little penguin on top and the ear flaps aren't hidden-able," Shachi says as if Law's dumb. He frowns, and Law frowns back, deeper.

"Why did you make me choose if you're not going to accept my choice?"

"Because you have to fucking have a reason for it! You can't just choose one and then the other like that!" Shachi says, crossing his arms in front of his chest, seeming annoyed.

Law sighs, rubbing his palm over his face. He notices Luffy on the other end of the counter, holding his phone with both hands, tipping furiously. Shachi snaps his fingers in front of his face and his right eye does this little twitch it always does when he's pissed off at something.

"Alright, alright. Whatever," Law says, returning his attention once more to the computer screen. He switches between the two tabs. There's not much difference between the two caps, and they basically have the same style as the one Penguin uses. They're black, with ear flaps and a yellow brim. The only differences between the three are the things on top and the word penguin. The one Penguin uses has a red pompom on top that, due the amount of time the cap has seen the washing machine, is starting to look more pink than red and is actually hanging by just a few threads. It also has his name displayed in the front, written in caps lock, black letters over a white background, making the overall appearance of the cap look like a penguin.

In the first tab, the cap also has that appearance, but it's less noticeable. The letters are smaller, the P being the only letter standing out, white letters over a black background. The pompon is a simple white thing. According to the description, the brim is flexible and won't break when stuffed into a pocket or a backpack.  _A simple, practical, comfortable and warm cap_ , Law reads.

The second one looks mostly the same, but is somewhat different. It screams  _penguin_  without needing to have the word written. It looks like a penguin, way more than the first one does. The ear flaps are longer, can be hidden and, instead of a boring pompon, it has a decoration that looks like a young emperor penguin, a cute thing even though Law can't really see it in much detail in the picture.  _Featuring a microfiber suede sweatband to keep your face dry_ , or whatever that hell that means. It costs more than the first one and, with the customization, the price will get even higher.

"I like this one better," Law says, turning the computer to Shachi.

"Yeah?" Shachi asks, looking unsure. "I mean, I like that one more too but, isn't it like, too similar to the one he already has? After the customization, they will basically look the same, just with that penguin thing instead of the pompon. Don't you think we should give him something that's at least a bit different?"

"So you think the first one is a better idea?" Law asks, impatient. That damn situation is taking too damn long thanks to Shachi and his indecision problems.

"Maybe? I mean, look at my hat," Shachi says, getting out of Nami's fancy high chair and crouching on the floor, picking up his own hat from his backpack. "Remember when you went with me shopping?"

Law does, it was horrible, like shopping always is when Shachi's around. He's worse than those chicks from movies that take three hours just to decide between two shirts and then leave without any. It's annoying, so annoying. But the guy insisted, saying he needed to buy something really, really, important and, as it turned out, he needed a new fucking hat, because the one he had was apparently falling apart over his head. That's partially the reason why the decision of buying Penguin a new one ever came up, Shachi decided he wanted to renew the hats of the group and, since Jean doesn't use one and Law said right at the beginning and with no room for doubt that he would not use a new one, Shachi had to turn his attention to Penguin and his poor cap.

"My old one was different from this one, the other was blue and this one's black, although they have mostly the same format I wanted something different. The problem is, I don't know if Penguin would prefer one similar or one different."

Law stays quiet for a minute, thinking. "He loves that cap, has been using it for ages. He isn't like you that uses it just for fashion proposes, he has an adoration for that thing. If we're going to replace it with a new one I think the best we can do is give him on that looks the same," he then says. Law thinks about himself, he isn't going to replace his own, at least not in the near future, but, if he ever has to, he would prefer to have one similar, because he has a special affection for his hat too and doesn't want to just lose it. He guesses Penguin feels the same about his cap, they can't just give him a new one and expect him to use it right after, to discard the old one like it means nothing. If the cap looks the same, the transition will be a lot smoother, that is, assuming Penguin wants to.

Shachi sighs dramatically, defeated, then sits once more on Nami's chair, bringing his computer closer. "Alright, I'm ordering this one," then, as if remembering something, he raises his eyes back to Law. "Oh shit, you want coffee? I forgot, sorry, just a minute-"

"I can take care of that," Luffy interrupts, suddenly appearing next to him, putting one hand on his shoulder to prevent Shachi from standing up. "Just buy the gift already."

"Alright, alright," Shachi says, rolling his eyes dramatically and raising his hands in defeat but keeping the smile on his face, adjusting his ass back to the seat. "I forgot I was done for the day."

Luffy smiles a bit and then looks at Law, his eyes all big and shiny like they always are under that weird-ass lighting Nami and Nojiko decided to buy to illuminate the place. "What are you having today?" He then asks, teasing.

Law knows what the guy's doing and, he has to admit, he actually misses the days when he could just come to Belle-mere's, frowning, and ask for the usual. "Just a coffee," he responds.

"Coming right up," Luffy says before turning his back to him, the noises coming from the coffee machine filling the place once more.

Law feels Shachi's eyes on him and, when he looks in his direction, he's eyeing him weirdly, with his face still facing his computer's screen but his eyes looking at Law instead, his brows frowned.  _What?_ , Law mutters, to which Shachi just responds  _weirdo_ , his lips moving but not making any sound. Law decides to ignore him, turning his head back at Luffy and catching him while he's looking at the display with a thoughtful expression on his face. He hears Shachi typing furiously on his side.

Luffy takes out a strange looking pastry with two shades of brown, dark underneath and lighter on top, as if it was made with two different kinds of chocolate. When Luffy places it in front of him, on top of a plate and beside his coffee, Law notices the thing is even weirder up close. Formed by wildly tangled thin strands, standing like a mountain of brown spaghetti on top of what appears to be a small chocolate tart shell, covered with powdered sugar.

Law grabs the plate and brings it closer.

"It looks amazing, doesn't it?" Shachi's says, this time not taking his eyes off the screen. "Nojiko spent most of the morning just preparing nine of those. I bet you can see why."

He does, it looks too damn visually complex. When Law takes the first bite, he notices how soft and sweet the pastry is, and is surprised that, instead of the flavor of two different kinds of chocolate, his mouth gets filled with only one kind from the tart shell and a flavor that he was not expecting at all. "Is this chestnut?" He asks, curious.

"And whipped cream, yes," Luffy says, smiling and leaning over the counter. "It's nuts, right?"

Law hears Shachi laughing hard and has to make an effort to keep his lips pressed together. He still smirks though, shaking his head as he grabs his coffee to help him clean his teeth, covered with pureed chestnut.

"Man," Shachi says while closing his computer and turning sideways. "You just went up a lot in my consideration. I'm glad I stayed just for that pun."

"There's more where that came from," Law says, finishing his pastry in another bite, then his coffee.

"Really? How come I've never heard any of them?" Shachi asks, shoving his computer into his backpack. Law looks at him and wonders why Shachi's acting like that when he clearly saw the pun Luffy wrote to him the very first time the guy entered Bell-mere's, wonders if his hungover made him forget, although he doubts it.

Luffy just shrugs, straightening up. "They come spontaneously, you just weren't here at the right time, I guess."

"I'm glad I was now. You know what, you should totally come to Penguin's party with us!" Shachi beams, putting one hand on each of Luffy shoulders, using his usual convincing technic that basically consists in putting a person on an awkward frontal position with a lot of eye contact until, eventually, they accept whatever Shachi's offering just to be able to escape. The efficiency rate is depressingly low and Law doesn't really know why he keeps on using it. "Shouldn't he, Law?"

Luffy looks at him, like a trapped doe, although he seems more confused than embarrassed. "Yeah, sure," Law responds and wonders what Shachi's trying to do.

"I, hum, I dunno," Luffy says, trying to step away from Shachi's hands but failing miserably, the height difference between then adding a fun touch to the whole situation from Law's perspective. "I mean, I don't even know the guy. I just know his name's Penguin and you're offering him a cap-"

"And that's more than enough! Do you think he knows half the people who're gonna be there? Of course not!" Shachi interrupts, finally letting him go and putting his hands on his hips instead, looking pleased. "Plus, you can totally join in and offer the cap with us!"

"I'll think about it," Luffy says, in a tone that mostly means he's declining the offer.

"Great!" Shachi says, not catching it. "I'll give you the details tomorrow."

Luffy nods, looking relieved. He steps aside to let Shachi pass through. "Let's go then?" Shachi asks while bypassing the counter, not even waiting for Law's response and heading towards the door.

"See ya," Luffy says at his back, then looks at Law and smiles. He waves at him and gives one last look at the inside of Bell-mere's before following Shachi, then he stops on his track abruptly. The damn punk was still there. Sat on  _his_  fucking comfy couch. On  _his_  fucking corner. Staring at him.

The image of him and that black-haired woman crosses Law's mind then. Law remembers him now, him and the woman, stealing his place right when Bell-mere's was crowded with people, a few months ago, even though it feels like years have passed.

Law glares at him before leaving, just because the guy's stare also turns into a glare, and continues glaring through the window until Bell-mere's is out of view.

"Who the hell was that guy," Law mutters, still confused, once he catches up with Shachi, halfway towards the parking lot near the Bell-mere's. He sees his reflection in the window of a hair salon and a bunch of women with a lot of colorful things on her heads raise their eyes at him, seeming completely unimpressed by his existence. He feels his brows forming a deep frown and something he can't quite explain grow inside his chest, like an itch between his lungs he can't scratch.

"Whom?" Shachi asks, apparently unaware of the fact Law was trying to murder someone with his eyes, right beside him, just a few seconds ago.

"That weird-ass punk. That guy who walked in when we were figuring out the damn cap, Shachi," Law explains, like Shachi's useless. "What the hell was he doing in  _my_  seat?"

"Ohh, that guy," Shachi says, dismissively, like it's nothing, like the guy wasn't clearing provoking Law, shamelessly mocking him. "He's a regular client with an unusual style, that's all," he then shrugs, taking his car keys out of his backpack just by bending his right arm back and sticking his hand inside the small pocket on the front.

"He was glaring at me while sitting on my seat, Shachi, for no good reason."

"Well," Shachi starts, opening his car and entering with no grace whatsoever. Law climbs to the passenger's seat beside him, "you glare at people for no reason other than it being your regular look. Maybe you glared at him once and he took it personally, how am I supposed to know."

Law sighs. Shachi was clearly not helping, in any way, like he really never does.

Shachi's excuse of a car comes to life and, soon enough, they're on the main road, increasing the noise pollution. Law looks through the window, seeing the buildings passing by way faster than what they should be. He didn't really want to know the reason behind the glare, he wanted to know why he chose his damn spot to seat when the fucking coffee shop only had three more clients, and they were all sat together, occupying just one damn table. He had plenty of more seats to choose from. It could've been for the couch, it's comfortable and all, but Nami didn't just renew that corner, she put a few more comfy chairs and armchairs here and there too, on places where the view is better. He guesses maybe he's just overthinking the situation, but that glare at the end, and that glare when he approached the counter to order clearly say the guy has a problem with Law, even though he doesn't remember ever doing anything to him, not even that occasional glare Shachi says he uses.

If sitting on Law spot is some sort of revenge or whatever, then it's a really low blow, and a ridiculous one too.

Then something else clicks in Law's mind. "You said he's a regular?"

Shachi gives him a sideways look, clearing having forgotten who Law's talking about. He clears his throat loudly before speaking, his eyes returning to the road ahead of him. "Well, yes, he usually comes before my shift ends and sits there on the corner when I leave."

"Really?" Law asks, surprised, he has never seen the guy there, aside from that fateful busy afternoon. Law doesn't remember ever seeing him enter Bell-mere's when he's outside waiting for Shachi, so he guesses he usually arrives earlier than today. But, truth to be told, he doubts he would've even noticed him passing, after all, Law has never once spotted him seating on his corner on all the times he looked through the window to see if Shachi was already coming and to wave at Luffy. "And why the hell does he sit in my spot?"

Shachi clears his throat again. "Why don't you ask him that next time you decide to enter?" He spits out, annoyed. "And, just for the record, it should be  _his_  spot, not yours, you know. Because his ass sure sits on that couch more times than what yours do anyway."

Law feels the itch between his lungs grow, feels a pressure inside his ribcage that makes his breath uneven, and then he's assaulted by a flash of pure rage, as if he's a wild animal and another predator just stole his prey. He tries to maintain calm the rest of the ride to his apartment, if he's lucky, Shachi will continue on his way after dropping him off and won't insist on coming with him. It's harder than what it should be, he keeps looking through the window but seeing everything passing by just makes him feel nauseous. He tries to prick his indicator with the nail of his thumb without catching Shachi's attention. The last thing he needs his another lecture on how he should take some anger management classes.

Once he gets to his apartment, he bangs the door and punches the wall a few times, relieving a wave of stocked energy every time his knuckles touch the cement. He stops midway when he sees the red stain his last punch left on the white wall. When he looks at his hand it's not in better shape. A few drops of blood drip down the skin, through his fingers. The middle knuckle, the one more prominent on his hand, is the worse, all dark red and gory, and that's where the blood comes from, the other ones being mostly fine.

It hurts when he tries to open his fist, his fingers trembling when he tries to stretch them. On his way to the bathroom, with his backpack still on, all he can think about is how good the fact that he used his left hand is, he would've been screwed if it was on the right one as he wouldn't be able to write properly. He cleans the blood with tap water, and that feeling of running water on a wound feels as weird and it always does. He grabs his first aid kit form the cabinet under the sink and sighs in relief when he sees it isn't completely empty. He takes a mental note to refill it next time he goes shopping.

When he sits on his couch, finally taking his backpack off and leaving it somewhere on the floor, with his now bandaged hand, he feels utterly stupid and ridiculous.

_Maybe I really do need anger management classes_ , Law thinks as he stares at the ceiling. He doesn't know what crosses his mind sometimes, he just loses all control over himself, like a wild animal who doesn't know how to control its instincts, and just stops when he sees blood, it being the alarming sign that triggers the recovery of his senses. It's crazy and ridiculous and happens so out of a blue and without a fucking reason that it actually scares him sometimes.

"It's nuts, right?" Law mutters to himself, Luffy's voice playing on his head over and over again. He brings his bandaged hand up, putting it between his face and the ceiling, noticing a small red spot on the white bandage, and then smiles.

.

.

.

On Wednesday, Law arrives half an hour earlier to Bell-mere's. When he enters, he notices the confused expression on Shachi's face and notices smugly how empty his spot is. He makes his way to the corner, putting his backpack on top of the table and then makes his way back, heading to the counter where Shachi's still looking at him weirdly.

"You're so ridiculous," he eventually says once Law's close enough, noticing his hurt hand but deciding to not comment on it, the slight twitch of his eyebrows being the only indicator he has even seen it.

"Hello to you too," Law says, smirking when he sees Shachi rolling his eyes and then rising from Nami's high chair to prepare his coffee without him even ordering.

Law looks at the display meanwhile, full of delicious pastries. Some are new, or at least, he has never seen them before, others he has seen but hasn't tasted yet. In fact, the ones he has tasted are really just a few in comparison with the whole variety available. There are cupcakes, cookies, s'mores, weirdly shaped pastries with even weirder names, two big cakes, one white and the other reddish-pink with a lot of decorations, and one big meringue pie with a few tartlets right next to it, with cream and raspberries on top. They all look pretty delicious, but he doesn't order any, just walks back to his corner once Shachi gives him the coffee.

He doesn't have that much that he needs to do, but he has some work he can start doing earlier than what he needs to, along with some research he can analyze better later on. He takes out his computer and a notebook along with a well-chewed pencil. He starts taking notes and saving some sites in which he thinks there might be something useful but, overall, he's just messing around, searching random things and mostly learning totally useless stuff.

He takes particular attention to the front door every time he hears the bell above it tingling, he wants to see the punk guy entering and wants to see his expression when he notices Law's there. He bets the guy will glare, but at least now Law has given him a reason to.

A few people enter, some faces familiar others not that much. A foreign couple walks in and starts talking really loudly on a very fast sounding language, annoying everyone inside Bell-mere's, even though they apparently don't realize it. He's amused by how poorly Shachi manages to attend them, his face forming such an ugly expression of pure confusion that Law's not sure how they didn't just run away. They sit on a table right beside Law, with a wooden tray with two coffees and a lot of different kinds of pastries, probably trying the ones they thought looked best. They spend fifteen minutes just eating and playing on their phones before leaving the coffee shop, no word is spoken, no eye contact is shared. All the vitality in their conversation got forgotten by the counter.

Then he sees Luffy thought the window, walking fast and with his straw hat hanging on his back. His face is as red as his cardigan and Law's not sure how he hasn't melted yet, his hair being the black mess it always is. He smiles when he reaches the counter and then looks in Law's direction, probably because Shachi has made some kind of unnecessary and childish comment.

And then the funny part begins. The punk enters, grinning and shining with happiness and, when he notices Law's, it's like he has seen a thousand wars, frowning so hard his lack of eyebrows doesn't even make that much of a difference. He's forced to sit on the same table where the foreign couple was just a few minutes ago, irradiating anger but avoiding eye contact with Law, choosing a seat that provides him only the view of the counter. Most people chose to look through the windows or to have a perfect vision of the whole coffee shop like Law himself, but there's always a crazy for everything.

Law can only see his left side, his green hair going right up on his head like a rooster's crest. He can't seem to close his mouth that well, due to the weird shape that his teeth have, and he has a ring piercing on his nasal spectrum. Law sees him taking off his dark purple coat and wonders how the hell the guy managed to survive for so long inside of that thing. A white stripe goes down the sleeve that Law's able to see due to the angle, meaning the other must look the same. The collar and the cuffs are plumed and his trousers are also bizarre-looking, baggy and with a checkered pattern, making him look like he's a fugitive from a circus.

The guy keeps ignoring him so, after a few moments, Law decides to ignore him too, losing his interest on him altogether and returning his attention back to his computer screen. Law also doesn't look in his direction when Shachi starts to pack his things up and warns Law to do the same if he wants a ride home.

Law has never had such a boring ride and, once he steps out, he thanks the divine forces above for it to finally be over. He sometimes forgets how annoying Shachi gets when he decides to give someone a lecture, most of the times about things he does on a daily basis too.

.

.

.

The next day, Law does the exact same thing and receives, yet again, a lecture all the way home. But he doesn't mind, much, the punk's angry face this time was more than worth it. He feels childish when he's at home and recalls the episode, but he also finds that he doesn't really care. He doesn't really mind if the punk sits on his spot, as long as it continues to be considered  _his_  spot, so no one can say that he doesn't like sharing. In fact, he doesn't care if the guy sprints to the couch once Law leaves the Bell-mere's and is out of view, he doesn't care if he comes at other time of the day and sits there, doesn't even care if other people do the same, as long as they don't do it when Law's around because, when he is, it's his spot and his spot only.

And he would do it again, on Friday, if the universe didn't change his plans for him. Friday, as Law learned once Shachi started working, is the day where the shifts and the schedule belonging to the employees change, where they can arrange the schedule that will last until next Friday and switch shifts between them if needed. Why Friday and not, let's say, a Monday, Law has no clue, but he guesses it's not really that important. Most of the time, according to Shachi, the schedule remains basically the same, with only a few changes here and there or an inversion every once in a while, to break the routine.

So, during the next week, instead of Shachi's shift end at four pm, it will start.

When Law arrived at Bell-mere's he wasn't aware of that fact and so seeing both Luffy and Shachi behind the counter wasn't really that strange. Then Shachi told him and it all clicked in his mind. He just felt a bit annoyed for the fact that he wouldn't have a ride home this time, unless he stayed until closing time, an option he didn't even ponder about.

Law stayed on his spot for a while, calmly drinking his still hot coffee and being surrounded by closed books, deciding which one to open first without really wanting to. The punk guy doesn't come this time, and Law's not sure if he's disappointed or glad. He looks around, counting the number of people inside and then looks at the counter where both Shachi and Luffy are on their phones, Luffy just waiting for his shift to end and Shachi just passing the time with probably some stupid game like candy crush even though no one plays that game anymore.

Law leaves half an hour after Luffy does, when his books start to annoy him and he realizes that he's not even paying much attention to what he's reading anyway.

He decides to go shopping before heading home, since there's a grocery store on the way. He doesn't know why he even bothers to make a list of what he needs at home, he never uses it, it's always forgotten under the magnet that's stuck against the door of his fridge, and it's only when he gets home with his arms full of plastic bags that he realizes just how many things listed on it he ended up not buying. He spends some good forty-five minutes walking through the corridors, throwing everything he thinks he needs inside the shopping cart while also paying attention to the price of each thing, he's still not rich after all.

The lights of the place and all the color around, along with all the big yellow or red signs of promotions and sales, make him feel a bit dizzy so he's more than glad when he gets out, his arms full of bags that now he needs to carry for quite some distance. He has not thought this through properly. When he finally gets home, exhausted, he just puts the things that need cold inside the fridge and leaves the rest inside the bags, on top of his kitchen counter, not having enough motivation to organize the rest inside the cabinets.

He takes a quick shower and eats two packages of brownies before heading to his bedroom, intending to call it for the day. His sleeping problems got worse in the past few weeks, in fact, they're so bad that Law's not sure how he even manages to have the bare minimum of energy it takes to go to his classes and come home. At first, he just woke up really tired, or slept bad, always awakening in the middle of the night for nothing in particular. Now though, he's been awakening at four AM, more or less, for no apparent reason, every single night. Sometimes he gets back to sleep, if it's a good night, but normally he just looks at the ceiling, his vision getting adjusted to the darkness so much it's like the lights are on, muttering curses and asking himself what he has done so wrong in another life to deserve such penitence, changing his position in bed so many times that he ends up undoing it until the blanket starts covering more the floor than himself.

He just doesn't have any plausible reason for what's happening to him, it's like his biological clock decided to cut off a few hours of his sleep as if he didn't sleep so miserably already. He has tried going to bed earlier, nothing, has reduced drastically the amount of coffee he drinks per day, nope, has tried drinking hot milk with cookies like a child before going to bed, nah, has counted thousands of sheep, nada, has taken hot showers before going to sleep, didn't work either. No matter what he ends up doing, at four o'clock in the morning, he's just, awake.

So if he goes to bed early at least he can equalize the number of hours he would've slept if his brain wasn't so fucked up.

He puts his phone charging, on top of his bedside table, and then heads to bed. He's not sleepy, but he's tired as hell so he hopes that's enough. He has to accumulate energy for tomorrow's night, or else he's going to be the depressing and sleepy drunk that will wake up with the sunlight hitting his face on a dubious alley full of piss and vomit and surrounded by trash bins.

Penguin's a weird guy and ever since Law started to go celebrate his birthday with him, he always takes the responsibility to make sure that everyone's having fun, safe and alive. He obviously loses track on most of the people he invites right in the first half an hour because he invites so many it's impossible to keep everyone in the same place for more than a few minutes. Some want a bar, others want another, and so they go on their respective way. Penguin doesn't mind, after all, it's some weight that gets out of his shoulders. He normally sticks with a group that has never once exceeded eight people, makes sure that they're okay and then takes them to his place, letting them crash there, on the living room previously prepared for the effect, with a lot of blankets and sleeping bags and pillows all spread around. So, as long as Law maintains consciousness, he's going to be just fine. After all, he, Shachi and Jean are on the top of Penguin's priorities.

Law changes his position in bed, trying hard to keep his eyes shut. He checks his mental list of things that he's going to do tomorrow. He has to do laundry, he  _needs_  to actually, desperately, or else he won't have enough clean clothes to last the upcoming week. Then, well, he just has to occupy himself with some shit until it's dinner time, the dinner that Penguin's paying for because he doesn't think twice about spending money when it's his birthday. Normally, twenty or so people go to the dinner, the ones that will give Penguin some sort of present, and they eat as much as their bellies can handle so they can party all night long without entering in an alcoholic coma within the first hour, or at least try. Then, they all head to the bar's area and meet with more people and, there, Penguin only pays for his own drinks. It has been like this for as long as Law can remember going to Penguin's birthday parties, so he doubts the plans will change this year.

He turns again, this time looking at the ceiling. He's comfortable and warm, and yet the sleep doesn't come. He sighs, then raises from the bed and heads to the living room. He ends up sleeping on the couch, around three in the morning and with the tv still on.

He doesn't wake up until ten am.

.

.

.

Law doesn't know what went wrong, what kind of event coincidentally happened right with Penguin's birthday but, whatever it was, it's all over now, and everyone that participated in it just decided there was still some time left to party wildly.

Law has never seen so many people in one street alone, at least not after moving to that town, and he fucking hates it. There's no space for him to move freely and he has to fucking zigzag between the drunk bodies, shoving people aside and trying to open a way through them with his fucking bare hands. There are girls in long and short and honestly all kinds of dresses everywhere, guys with tuxedos and suits everywhere, people everywhere, and they all came out of a blue. One minute Law had a big fucking group of friends to stick with, all inside and sat at a dubious bar that had happy hour, and the next thing he knows, a fucking wave of people, desperate for shots, just emerged through the door.

It's was so damn hard to leave the place. The floor was sticky, the people kept entering even though there wasn't enough room for anyone else, even the band occupying a whole corner stopped playing, not being able to move freely more, but he managed to get out just by following closely Kid, that kept shoving brutally people aside with such an angry glare that Law's not sure how he didn't kill anyone in the process. The street, however, wasn't in a better state, fancy people everywhere, everyone with a different kind of smell, creating such an agglomerate of perfumes and colognes that it made Law feel dizzy and he almost threw up right there at someone's expensive shoes.

He kept following Kid's redhead until they both reached a quieter place between two alleys that smelled like trash, piss, and vomit. Law feels his head spinning around now that he actually has enough space to fall on the ground and realizes he's not at all as sober as he thought he was when he was sitting down. He leans against the wall and hears Kid kick some forgotten bottle, shattering it, then he starts yelling and, suddenly, Penguin and Killer are there with them. Law's not sure how, but most of the group appear and then they're walking down the alley, Penguin leading the way like the good nearly sober guide he is. Law hears Shachi laughing behind him, walking between two girls that he forgot the name of. Then, there are people again and he feels disoriented and a bit angry with himself when Shachi grabs his arm and starts pushing him gently through the crowd, opening a way for Law to walk behind him.

He decides then that he won't drink more that night, he doesn't want to be taken care of like he's a helpless human being with lack of motor coordination. He's good like that, that's a good kind of drunkenness, he feels happier than normal, but not hysterical, he can still walk and remain on his feet, talk coherently and, most importantly, he isn't in the verge of losing consciousness or in a state where he won't remember what the fuck happened once sober. So he's good.

Law shakes Shachi's hand out of his arm once they reach an area where there's enough space for him to walk freely and to see where the group is heading. He would've heard Shachi's exasperated sigh if it wasn't for all the noise around them, and would've seen his mocking expression and him shaking his head in annoyance if he had looked in Shachi's direction. Law feels, however, Shachi keeping a close distance, as if anticipating Law will pathetically trip on own his own feet and fall right there on the asphalt if unguarded. He shakes the angry thoughts out of his mind when he remembers that's exactly what he does when Shachi's the one being drunk. Law never leaves him on his own for a second because Shachi sure does pathetically trip on his own feet.

"Where are we even going?" Law asks, mostly to himself but, since Shachi was so close to him, he hears it perfectly.

"Blueno's Bar, probably," Shachi's says, although he seems certain of what he's saying. Law knows the place, has been there a couple of times already. For some reason, Penguin and Shachi like to be there, even though the drinks cost double than on most of the other bars in the area. Sometimes, however, the owner, a big guy that looks like a bull but has lips like a fish, does a few discounts, once a person spends enough money in there as if trying to encourage customers to buy more and more alcohol. "It probably won't be as full as this cheap and shitty ones."

"You have to warn Luffy-ya then, so he can meet us there," Law says, almost tripping on a loose stone from the sidewalk, but managing to regain his balance before Shachi has time to react and help him doing so.

"Law, he won't come," Shachy says, sounding annoyed. "I've warned him every single time we changed places and he hasn't responded or appeared yet," he then takes his phone out of his jacket's front pocket and checks the time. "It's almost half-past two, Law, he isn't coming."

"But he-"

"Yes, Law, he sent you a message during dinner asking if it was really okay for him to show up. I know. You've already repeated that a million times," Shachi says, rolling his eyes. Law feels his belly twitch with hunger then, it feels like they had dinner weeks ago, even though just a few hours went by, and Law ate a lot, so much so that he felt like he was about to explode right after. He even had to unbutton his pants so his stomach could stretch a bit more for dessert. He knows he ate like a starving man that didn't have enough food inside his fridge to feed himself for days but, in his defense, the food was just so delicious that it was impossible to stop eating. Plus, he wasn't the only one, at least he kept his manners and ate slowly unlike the pink-haired girl named Bonnie that sat right next to him.

Law had just finished eating when he received Luffy's text, asking if it really was okay for him to go, to which he responded  **obviously**  and even added the name of the first bar they would go after leaving the restaurant.

"But I-"

"Yes, Law, I also know you think you've already seen Luffy a bunch of times. You've also repeated that a million times."

"I did see him," Law says between his teeth, frowning and angry.

"Then why didn't he appear or even turn around when you called so desperately his name, huh? I mean, for real, Law, it's like you didn't see the guy yesterday," Shachi says, using a lot of hand movements. "You think you saw him, but you didn't, when you're drunk all people with brown hair and brown eyes look the same."

"You don't fucking look like him," Law mutters to himself and he's sure Shachi heard it, although any comment he could've said got lost once they enter Blueno's Bar. There were a few people inside the place, some dancing not at all at the rhythm of the music that was playing, others just sat on roundtables near the corner, drinking. The place's darker than usual, just the counter being well illuminated, like a luminous sign telling the subconscious where to spend money.

The group sits on one of the big tables, occupying all of the chairs available and stealing some from nearby tables. Penguin comes with a round metal tray full of tequila shots for everyone, saying it was Blueno's birthday gift for him. They all sing happy birthday to him, so loudly that the music playing gets muffled momentarily by it. A few people join in, clapping or whistling, and then return to their own businesses right after. Law forgets he decided not to drink more and swallows his one and only shot and then two gin and tonic, with a slice of lemon that he ends up giving to someone else to put on their own drink.

He loses track of time and when that pink-haired chick Law forgot the name of convinces him to go dancing, his legs are even harder to control than before. Law doesn't know how to dance, at all, Penguin and Shachi have mocked him so much about it that he wouldn't even be surprised if, when he looked at their direction, they had their phones out just recording the moment. But Law doesn't look in their direction, and his lack of dance skills along with his lack of motion coordination at the moment are nothing comparing to the mess of limbs and moves and exorcism the girl (Polly?) is doing right in front of him. He actually feels good to have accepted her challenge, his dance moves could actually be considered art when next to hers. She laughs loudly and shoves everyone around her but seems so happy that Law ends up laughing too.

The dance zone has more people now than when they arrived, but Law finds that he doesn't really mind. He still has enough space to move properly so it's okay. The place isn't like a disco, but the music is loud and frantic enough and the fact that the lights aren't psychedelic and blinding is a bonus.

And then he sees Luffy, and he's sure it's not him thinking he sees him, he's actually there, entering the place without his red cardigan, wearing instead a vest that appears to be blue, but with his straw hat on top of his head. There's a tall guy beside him, talking to him, touching him, too close to him, but Law just notices him when he's already beside them, not realizing he left Polly dancing all by herself. He's wearing black and his eyebrows have a weird natural raise and Law doesn't like his appearance or the way he looks down at him like he's annoyed by his presence one slight bit.

Luffy notices him approaching with his big brown eyes all shiny. "Hey there!" He says, loud so he can be heard over the music, and then smiles widely when Law finally gets closer.

"I was starting to think you wouldn't come," Law says and his voice sounds weird even to his own ears with the amount of alcohol that he has ingested. He receives an apologetic smile in return and then adds," they're over there," turning and pointing to the table full of purses and jackets and with only Penguin and Shachi guarding it.

Law sees them looking and then his attention is drawn to the guy beside Luffy. He doesn't look so tall up close, not to his own height. "So I guess you're safely delivered," the guy says as if Luffy is some kind of merchandise he can just drop off and then leave. He gives Law a weird-ass look before heading to the counter, Luffy shouting a  _see ya_  at his back that gets ignored. Law would really like to know what's with the fucking glares that he keeps receiving.

"So, want tequila a little time together or what?" Luffy says next to him, grinning so much that it makes Law laugh a bit, even though he only realized what Luffy actually said when it was already too late to comment on it.

He notices Luffy's not sober when he trips on the only step of the place, one that marks the end of the entryway, and almost takes Law to the floor with him when he grabs his arm for support. There's a scent of smoke coming from him, making him smell just like Shachi and Penguin do when they smoke what they shouldn't, and it Law wonder if it really wasn't Luffy whom he kept seeing instead of just some random person with brown eyes and brown hair like Shachi had said. He hears Luffy laughing as he tries to regain his balance and realizes why the other guy said safely delivered.

"Oh my God, you actually came!" Shachi yells when they get near the table.

Luffy smiles at Shachi and then looks at Penguin's direction, noticing the guy is wearing two caps on top of each other. He loved the present, but he wasn't ready to let go of his old one just like that, so the solution he found for the night was to wear both of them at the same time. "Happy birthday!"

"Thank you! I'm glad you made it!" Penguin says, approaching Luffy and giving him one of his bear hugs. Luffy giggles and is then dragged to the dance floor, giving Law one last look, pleading for help from over his shoulder. He just shrugs in response, sitting on the nearest chair. He guesses it's his turn to watch over the table and all the belongings on top of it. His legs are tired from standing up for so long, and his feet feel like they're burning so much that, when his ass touches the chair, a wave of relief passes through him and he feels like, if he lays his head on the table, he will fall asleep right there. His head's heavy and he can't see very well, everything's a blur, even when he brings his hand closer to his face and tries to focus on his fingers, on the lines on the skin of his palm.

Jean comes and scares him, touching his shoulder as he walks behind him to seat in a chair too. He doesn't say anything, and neither does Law, they just look ahead, to the dance zone even though Law can't really distinguish any one at that distance, just a yellow blur that gets more defined with each step that Law ends up taking in its direction without noticing. For a moment, he forgets about his tiredness, about his sore legs and the pain on his feet and just walks forward, squishing himself in between Shachi and Penguin and goes stand in front of Luffy that smiles when he sees him, huge white teeth shining over the light of the place. His face has more color than what Law has seen in it for the past few weeks, his cheeks all flushed red, and his hair's a pure mess, worse than what it normally looks like, and Law can't stop himself from noticing how it looks like sex-hair, can't stop himself from wanting to touch it with his own hands, to run his fingers through it, to pull it and see what it feels like when Luffy just looks at him through his lashes, Law standing taller than him.

Suddenly, Law feels the itch between his lungs all over again, stronger than before, making him catch a breath.

"What?" Luffy asks, although Law didn't hear him, just watched as his lips moved and formed the word. He smiles and shakes his head, devaluing the situation. Law sees Luffy arching an eyebrow but then he feels someone rubbing against him and, when he looks up, he's not even surprised for having Shachi dancing weirdly against him, back with back, Penguin trying to mimic him but not having anyone to rub against without it being inappropriate.

Law doesn't know how long he stayed there, forming some kind of circle on the dance floor with his friends and Luffy. He didn't like the music that was playing, didn't even know what kind of music it was, and yet he danced, moving his body at the rhythm of it, with other people rubbing themselves on him more often than not. He saw Polly, or whatever her name was, almost eating a guy's face, their bodies so glued together that it was weird to think how Law could've been that guy if he didn't escape in time. At some point, Kid approaches them and starts to move in a very demonic way, but ends up spending more time walking towards the counter and coming back with a new drink on his hand than dancing. Law ends up drinking as much as him, giving Kid money every time they both finish their own. Kid gives him a glare every time, but still brings two drinks with him.

And then it was all over, too fast, Penguin getting him out of Blueno's bar and a sudden chilly breeze hitting his sweated face, making him shiver. He didn't know what time it was, and he couldn't check his phone because it had died without battery right in the beginning of the night, like the useless thing it is, but the part of the sky he could see was still dark, all the street lamps still on.

Law's putting on his jacket when Shachi gets out, bringing Luffy attached to him, and Jean, Killer, and Kid following right behind. As the group gathers in the middle of the now semi-deserted street, with a slightly better illumination quality, Law notices how bad everyone looks like. Everyone's face is sweaty and flustered, their hair a mess, pointing in every direction, the clothes messy and poorly arranged, Kid's dark makeup all blurred around his eyes, making him look even eviler, Jean looking so grumpy and restless that Law's sure he's more asleep than awake by now, his eyes small and puffy. Law's not sure if he looks much better than them.

"Alright, guys!" Penguin says, clapping a few times to get everyone's attention, or better, everyone's glare. "We're heading to my place so we need to take the bus as you already probably know-"

"Just get to the point already," Kid says beside him, his voice rough and angry.

"Alright, okay, hum," Penguin continues, letting out a short nervous laugh, scratching the back of his neck. "If we don't get to the bus stop in ten minutes we'll have to wait an hour for the next bus."

Kid curses Penguin's family, Jean growls and Shachi gasps, taking out his phone and his eyes grow big when he checks the time. He and Penguin share a small conversation that started with  _why didn't you check the time, you fucker?!_ , followed by a few apologies, while the group starts to, clumsily, but as fast as they can manage, walk down the street. Law feels his legs wobbly and heavy, his feet numb, but he tries his best to walk as normally as he would've if he was sober, which proves to be quite hard when the damn pavement isn't even properly leveled.

They obviously arrive late to the bus stop, the bus being already long gone by the time they see the place from afar. Jean and Killer seat in the cold metal seats, Jean immediately leaning against the glass wall behind him and closing his eyes, Killer just staring into space. Kid grabs his pack of cigars and takes one out, walking alone to a small green park on the other side of the road, saying he's going to take a piss. Penguin and Shachi, as the only mostly sober ones of the group, start looking at the bus' schedules fixed on one of the sides of the bus stop, along with the schedules of the others public transportation, analyzing and pointing and debating about things Law doesn't care.

He sees Luffy looking at the seat of the bus stop, one side occupied by a mad looking Killer and the other by a snoring and twisted Jean, just the middle part being free, but it's such a small space that even a tiny person like Luffy would feel squished. He ends up sitting in front of the bus stop, on the edge of the sidewalk with his feet hitting the road where the bus will stop. Law sits beside him, almost falling backwards while trying to do so. He feels nauseous and his head's spinning, so he keeps looking ahead, to the small park, spotting Kid's redhead quite easily between all the greenness. He feels his body shivering with the cold breeze and tries to push away the thought that they have to wait an hour outdoors. The warm feeling of the alcohol inside of his organism's being the only thing that's keeping him warm. He feels the muscles of his legs burning, screaming in agony, and he has to stretch them farther into the road to alleviate the pain.

He starts to look around when he stops feeling like he's going to throw up if he moves, trying to keep his mind occupied with something else other than his misery. Aside from the park in front of him, there's also a street kiosk, a small green metal house with the doors closed but a lot of newspapers and magazines showing through the windows. Behind the bus stop, there's a small convenience store on the ground floor of a five-story building. There's a laundromat right next to it, with big windows showing a long line of aligned washing machines and dryers that reminds Law how he didn't take care of the laundry as he intended, and then a coffee and a flower shop, all closed. He notices Penguin and Shachi still debating and tries to concentrate on their conversation, but he can't hear clearly most of the things they say and gives up right away.

Law hears footsteps and then Kid's legs are in front of him. He looks up in time to see him taking off his large dark coat, then putting it on top of Luffy's shoulders more carefully than what Law has ever thought Kid could do. Luffy turns around then too, looking up with a surprised expression.

"Oh, no, I'm fine," he says, his hands coming up to the extremely flared collar. "I don't need-"

Kid huffs in response. "Yeah, sure you don't, man.  _I'm_  the one who doesn't need it because I'm wearing actual clothes, unlike you. Just shut your mouth and take the damn coat," he says as he goes to sit in the free space in the bus stops' seat, almost knocking Jean out of it but without stopping his loud snores. He crosses his arms in front of his chest, looking at Luffy as if convincing him that he will be just fine without his coat.

Law looks in Luffy's direction then and feels stupid for just now remembering the guy's wearing shorts and a vest that don't protect him from the chilly breeze at all. Law should've given him his own coat, even though he would've missed its warmth, unlike Kid. Instead of looking around he should've looked at Luffy and noticed how pale as a white wall and trembling like green reeds he was, but  _no_.

He feels his stomach twitching inside his belly when Luffy stands up and mutters a  _thanks_ , then sticks his arms inside the coat and closes it, sitting right after. The coat is so big for him that it looks like he's wearing a blanket, a big blur from Law's point of view. Luffy's hands are lost inside the sleeves and the most part of his legs is covered too. He adjusts his straw hat on top of his head and brings the collar closer to his face, the color slowly returning to his cheeks.

Law feels like he should apologize, but the right words never leave his mouth.

"Yes, Law?" Luffy asks and Law realizes how he was probably staring. He looks away right after, but not before noticing one of Luffy brows arching, his eyes watery with the breeze and the alcohol. He sounds so drunk that Law tries to remember if Kid only carried two drinks or three back at Blueno's, one belonging to Luffy. He leans like he's falling and Law's first reaction is to catch him, but he takes too long and Luffy reestablishes his balance on his own. "Why are you staring at me from my head tomatoes?" He then asks, giggling.

Law looks at him again, trying to figure out if he's just imagining things or if Luffy really said what Law thinks he said. He realizes he did when he sees Luffy's sly smile and feels proud of himself for catching it just in time.

"Don't you know any other puns aside from food ones?" Law hears himself asking without really wanting too.

"Of course I do!" Luffy says, his smile growing larger. It's so weird to see Luffy so smiley and humorous, so much that Law's afraid he's just imagining everything. Law got used to seeing him staring into space or at the door of Bell-mere's with a blank expression as if pondering on just pick up his stuff and leave the place. It's been a long time since Law has seen him smile so fully and, even though he knows it is not entirely real and only exists due to the amount of alcohol inside of both of their organisms, he's still happy for seeing it back on Luffy's face.

Luffy looks like he's about to prove himself when Penguin and Shachi approach the group and start explaining their new plan. Instead of waiting the remaining forty-five minutes for a bus that would take an hour to get them to a bus stop near Penguin's place, only a fifteen minutes walk away after that, they will catch another that will arrive in five minutes and that will take them to the nearest subway station where they can catch the first subway of the day, at half-past five in the morning. There's a station twenty minutes away from Penguin's place and, according to him, the walk is easy and fast to do, even though Law's not so sure of it, but he keeps his mouth shut. The change of plans will, in the best-case scenario, make them arrive fifteen minutes or so earlier than what they would with plan number one, but Law doesn't complain, and neither do the others, too relieved for the fact that they won't die of boredom waiting for a bus to realize how the change of plans doesn't really compensate that much.

They all prepare their bus tap cards and wait impatiently for the bus to arrive. A few people appear to catch it too. Some are in the same state as Law and his group, others are well dressed and ready to go to work but with the same tired face as everyone else. Law and Luffy have to stand up at some point to prevent being trampled as everyone started to form an agglomeration on where the bus' doors will presumably be. When the bus finally arrives, there are enough people to fill it gathered in the same place. He looks around when people start pushing to get inside and have a seat. He notices Killer, Kid and Jean in the middle of the people, Shachi and Penguin on the side, by the bus. He keeps Luffy close and lets him enter first, helping him with the step and almost tripping over his own feet when it's his turn. By the time both of them use their tap cards, there aren't any free seats left so Law follows Luffy to the middle of the bus, him leaning simultaneously to the back of one of the seats and the window. Law stands beside him, grabbing a cold metal pole that goes all the way from the floor to the ceiling of the bus. He sees the rest of the group entering, opting to stand on the front, right next to the driver's cab, there not being enough space for them to enter more either way.

Law was not ready when the bus pulls off and he would've crushed Luffy in his corner if he didn't grab the pole with all the force of his right hand. He was still not used to be inside public transportation and much less under the effect of alcohol.

The trip is bumpy due to the bad conditions of the road and the poor and aggressive driving skills of the driver. People enter and leave the bus at every stop, but the amount inside remains relatively the same. Law realizes he's in a bad place when he starts feeling hands touching his own, aiming for the pole but still touching his hand, and when he starts getting shoved from all sides from people that want to get out and need to get to the door before the bus stops. On the first opportunity, when the bus stays stopped for longer due to the number of people that want to leave, he squishes between the people that managed to put themselves between him and Luffy and goes to stand beside him once more, now leaning against the window, their arms touching. The secret to maintaining the balance is to open the legs until they're shoulder-width apart and do a ridiculous amount of force with them against the floor. Now that he has support for his back, he doesn't need to lean singly forward when the bus pulls off or slightly back when it slows down, he just hopes there isn't a big curve on the way.

It doesn't take long for the air inside the bus to become heavy and muffled. Law starts to feel sweaty again and he would've taken off his jacket if there was enough space for him to do so. He looks at Luffy and he looks worse than him, flushed and sweaty inside that big ass coat. He notices Law looking at him and smiles back at him, that sly smile of his.

"Hey, Law?" He asks when Law looks away, making him turn his face to him once more. He leans in to listen Luffy better over the murmur of people and it's the worse decision he could've made. "You look hot, let me blow you," Luffy says, his voice low and flirty, so close to Law's ear that his breath sends a tingle of goosebumps down his arms and spine.

Law immediately backs off, being caught so out of guard that his mind takes a while to organize his thoughts and realize how that was just Luffy showing off he knows more puns than food-related ones. He feels his face getting hotter than before and when Luffy starts laughing at him he receives a punch in the shoulder, Law giving it with too much strength but the coat absorbing most of it anyway. Law runs his hand through his face and fights the urge to roll his eyes.

"See? I know a lot of puns," Luffy says, looking proud of himself.

"Just one doesn't prove anything," Law says, regretting and facepalming mentally right after.  _What have you done, you absolute idiot_ , he thinks when he sees Luffy's determined expression.

"Alright then," he says, and looks like he's about to say another one but is interrupted when Penguin starts shoving everyone out of his way, the others behind him, and starts walking in their direction. "This is our stop," he says, then facing the bus' door. When the bus stops, he and Luffy move away from each other and head to the door, squishing themselves in between the people to pass through. He feels someone grab his jacket and, when he looks back he sees Luffy grabbing him, like a child afraid of getting lost in the crowd.

"Alright, to the subway station," Penguin says after everyone's out, leading the group along with Shachi, checking occasionally if the whole group is still following them. The station is at the very end of a very long street that they take ten minutes just to walk through. There are not many people around, aside from them and a few others opening their coffee shops and bakeries, so they have most of the sidewalk to walk freely. Killer and Kid walk in front of Law, while Jean goes on his own, away from the rest of the group, looking like a fast-paced sleepwalker. Luffy's walking beside him, stumbling a few times and looking peacefully to the sky as the first sunlight starts to illuminate it, the darkness being replaced with a dark tone of purple and blue. He's still wearing Kid's coat, now unbuttoned, his hands still hidden inside the sleeves, the arms dangling on both sides of his body.

"You're gonna need a library card if you want to continue checking me out like that," Luffy says, looking smug.

"I wasn't checking you out," Law says, because he truly wasn't. He was just looking.

Luffy half-closes his eyes, showing Law he doesn't believe him. "Yeah, sure," he says, then shrugs. "Well, I check you out quite often, and let me tell ya, if I was a fine art appraiser, your ass would be priceless."

Law hears Kid bursting up with laughter, being so loud that the sound echoes through the empty and mostly quiet street. Law starts laughing when he sees a slightly embarrassed expression on Luffy's face, one that implicitly says no one except Law was supposed to have heard what he said, but then he laughs too.

"I'm using that one next time I see a good pair of asscheeks," Kid says and then turns his back to them again as if nothing had happened.

Luffy's mouth remains shut for the rest of the walk, either for being embarrassed or because he's thinking about the next one.

The entrance of the subway station is a big dark thing full of poorly made graffitis and covered with old and mostly ripped posters, a roundly shaped structure with the shutters used to close it from two until five in the morning still only halfway opened. From afar, it looks like a big and scary mouth, the flights of escalators and normal stairs being the way down the throat. Law notices all the drawings made with tiles on the curved walls, big and so abstract that Law doesn't understand shit. The escalator keeps taking them down and down for so long that Law wonders if they're heading to hell.

They stay a long amount of time surrounding the card's vending machine because Shachi's a dumb fuck that doesn't know how acquiring subway cards works. Law hears the subways' loud noise, a muffled but strident sound that echoes through the tunnels every once in a while. The shops underground are all still closed, security shutters covering each door and window, and people seem to pass through them without even noticing they're there. On the ticket gate, Kid faces some problem with his card, the doors not opening when he taps it on the scan. He swears a lot, loudly and aggressively, kicking the machine before passing through another one behind Jean, the doors closing right after. They lose another subway and have to wait for ten minutes for the next one, a woman on the speakers warning everyone about the delay.

The platform dock is a long thing with a yellow line marking the dangerous zone and seats positioned along the wall, with four entrances where people enter and leave. On the other side of the railway, the view is basically the same, just with fewer people and different paintings on the walls. They all sit in a row of seats, resting their tired legs, aside from Penguin that decides to stay on his feet, standing in front of them. Law sits between Luffy and Shachi, being in the middle of their conversation and having to lean back for them to be able to see each other while talking. Law tries not to think much about Luffy, leaning against his side, and finds that he doesn't understand what they're saying very well, like he's inside a bathtub with them talking next to it, but their voices sounding muffled as if his head is underwater. He starts feeling sleepy, his head suddenly so heavy that it's hard to just keep his neck straight. He laughs when he hears the others laughing, talking loudly beside him, but the words still sound weird.

He feels himself leaning forward and he knows he's about to pathetically fall from the seat but doesn't have enough energy or strength to sit properly again. It's like he's feeling the gravity pulling him down, and the idea of it sounds so appealing to his body that his mind can't do anything to control it. Fortunately, Shachi grabs him and pushes him against the back of the seat again, the metal being cold against his back.

"Easy there, buddy," Law hears him saying next to his face, the smell of alcohol and Shachi's cologne filling his nostrils in a sickening mix. He tries to push the guy away but he doesn't have enough strength to raise his arm properly.

"You okay?" Luffy asks on his left side and, when Law looks at him, he can only distinguish the contour of his straw hat and Kid's coat, his whole face being a blur despite how much he tries to focus on it. "Feel like throwing up or something?"

"No," Law says, shaking his hands simultaneously. He tries to explain that his stomach feels just fine, but that he feels the itch inside his ribcage again, putting his palm on his chest to show where it is.

"On your heart?" He hears Shachi asking, his voice sounding skeptical but at the same time cautious, as if Law could be describing the beginning of a heart attack.

"No, you _idiot_! Between my lungs,  _here_ ," Law says, turning to him and slapping his own chest, anger growing inside of him for not being able to express himself properly.

"But, does it hurt?" Penguin asks, suddenly entering the conversation, standing in front of him, slightly bent over, as if examining Law's chest even though his problem is not visible

"No," Law says, feeling frustrated, "it's just here and itches and doesn't go away."

"Is there something we can do?"

Law thinks for a minute, he doesn't remember noticing the itch going away, but he doesn't remember it always being there either so he guesses the only thing for him to do is to forget about it, and with that, he doesn't need help. "Yes," he ends up saying, then looks in Luffy's direction, finally being able to focus on his eyes. He doesn't know why Shachi says everyone with brown eyes and hair look the same when someone's drunk, Luffy's eyes are so unique and so  _beautiful_  that even a drunk person can distinguish them from the others."Tell me a pun, I miss them."

He sees Luffy confused expression and, for a second, he fears that he didn't express himself well enough, but then he asks: "What do you call a fake noodle?" He waits for a response and Law hears Shachi calling them ridiculous and Kid huffing but he doesn't mind because, when Luffy answers with "an impasta", Law starts laughing loudly, even though it wasn't even supposed to be funny, and then Luffy joins him and Law knows they probably look retarded.

"Another one," Law says and Luffy starts saying a bunch in a row, both of them laughing in between. He hears the subway arriving before he sees it, the wheels sizzling strident and loudly, and that gives him time to stand and approach the yellow line, Luffy and Shachi always close. There are a few people inside already, and the remaining seats are only enough for a small portion of the people that enter. Shachi spots two empty seats, next to each other, and rushes to sit on the one on the corridor's side, occupying the other with his hand and not letting anyone sit there. The subway starts moving while Law's heading towards him and if Luffy didn't grab his arm he would've fallen backwards.

He feels his head spinning and the noise of the wheels over the railway is so loud and strident that his brain doesn't stop screaming  _we're gonna derail! We're gonna derail!_  and he feels a sudden wave of unjustified panic rushing through him. At some point, Luffy grabs his hand, pulling him gently, and Law realizes he was grabbing the back of a taken seat for dear life, his nails digging into the fabric, the old woman sat there looking at him reproachfully and leaning her small body as far away from him as she could manage.

And then he's sitting, his numb legs stretched as much as he can in the reduced space available, his head heavy. When he turns his head to his side, Shachi's nowhere to be seen, but Luffy's there, sat next to him, looking worried and Law wonders if that's all because of his pathetic attitudes. He tries to sit upright, but it's hard when his limbs don't cooperate. He feels ridiculous and tired, so tired that he wouldn't mind falling asleep there, in fact, the thought is more than tempting. The noise stops affecting him and he soon forgets it's even there, the metal and hard seats seeming more comfortable to his tired body than what they should be, and Luffy's there by his side. Law feels his arm touching his own even though there's still the thick layer of fabric from Kid's coat between them, and his smell fills his nostrils, overlapping the others, and his presence is just so sweet and so addicting that he doesn't notice his head tilting to the side until he feels the coat's collar against his cheek. He tries to raise his head but he only manages to find enough strength to bury his nose deeper into the collar of the coat, finding Luffy's neck and inhaling his scent profoundly.

"You smell good," Law mutters next to Luffy's ear and feels him shiver and tense under his face. Law hears his breath uneven and knows he's making him uncomfortable but he can't make himself move away, and neither does Luffy try to push him away. Law doesn't remember closing his eyes, but he quickly realizes it's hard to keep them open when he tries to. "How far are we?"

Luffy moves under him, making Law's position more comfortable. "Four stops away," he says, his voice low, his hot breath touching lightly Law's face. He tries to imagine how they look like, in what weird position he has forced Luffy into, how weird he looks himself, but it only makes his head hurt.

"How do you know?" Law asks after a while. He feels the subway stopping and hears the sound of people leaving and entering quickly, the sounds of some sitting closer than others.  _Three_ , he thinks.

"Shachi told me where to get out," Luffy says, leaning his head against Law's.

Law forces his eyes open, turning his head a bit so he can look ahead. There are two men sitting on the seats in front of them, one reading a book, the other looking through the window even though the view is just the pitch black of the tunnel. He doesn't see Shachi, or any other person of their group, just sees blurry figures in the distance. "Where's he?" He asks, giving up and closing his eyes once more.

He feels Luffy stretching his neck, turning his head back, and then returning to the same position. "Standing with the others near the pole in the middle."

_We're alone then_ , he thinks, but he quickly realizes he has said it out loud when Luffy responds with a simple and low "yes", both of them ignoring the fact that there are two guys just in front of them, and probably a bunch of more people on their side too.

Law feels and hears the subway stopping again. He waits until the noise of people leaving and entering decreases and then asks Luffy for more puns, making him giggle softly, his shoulders shaking. Law waits for a long time and then feels Luffy's face closer than before. He tries to open his eyes, at least slightly, and then sees Luffy's lips close, moving slowly and letting out a low mumble that would be impossible for Law to hear if they weren't so close.

"I'm glad you're not my pinky toe," he says, smiling in the end, so graceful and so brightly that Law gets mesmerized by it for a while, taking his time to ask why. "Because I would bang you against all my furniture."

Law starts laughing loudly, finding it way too funny, and Luffy joins in after Law's breathing against his neck starts to tickle him. He feels the subway stopping again, and Law doesn't need Luffy to tell him to straighten up, that their stop is the next one. His back hurts when he sits upright and he feels dizzy and nauseous when he has to get up, the subway sizzling loudly before coming to a stop. He stumbles his way towards the door and, when his feet touch the firm ground and he hears the subway start moving again behind him, his body starts leaning to the right, his mind thinking he's still moving. It takes him a while to get used to normal gravity again and Kid mocks him all the way up the escalators, and all the way out of the station even though his walking conditions aren't much better either.

He annoys Law so much that the first thing he does when the fresh air hits his face is to look for his pack of cigars. He looks up when he realizes he has lost it, or finished it, or that someone stole it, questioning the Lord's above why they had to give him such luck. The sky is now turning blue, a pale tone with a few white and fluffy spots here and there. He asks his friends for a cigarette, desperate for nicotine inside of his system, but no one gives him one, that's just how good his friends are. It seems so improbable but, aside from Killer that explains he just has one that he's saving for himself, they just respond that they don't even have a packet, as if they all didn't smoke, except Luffy, although he's not so sure anymore.

Law feels frustrated and annoyed and he spends a good portion of the walk just kicking a small rock that dared to cross his way, taking it as far as possible before it gets lost underneath a car parked illegally on the sidewalk.

"You know," Luffy says, appearing on his side, his straw hat firmly positioned on top of his head, making him have to look sharply up to see Law's face. "You don't really need a cigar."

"Why not?" Law asks, after a while of Luffy not responding, just looking ahead like he hasn't said anything.

"Cause you're already smoking hot," he says and he grins at him, but the grin is different from the others, it doesn't look happy, it just looks forced, faked. His eyes aren't shiny, even though the slightest of the lights makes them appear two spotlights. The day's brightening, the first sunbeams hitting the tall buildings of the area, and yet his eyes look dull, and maybe all of Luffy's grins, and laughs and smiles through the night where faked and he didn't even notice until now, and the thought pisses him off so much that he doesn't even react to what Luffy said, just keeps walking, never wishing more that Penguin's place wasn't so far away from everything, that all the blankets and pillows and sleeping bags forming and improvising a giant bed on the floor was just around the corner.

Luffy keeps his mouth shut after that, putting some space between him and Law but he seems overall unaffected, and Law doesn't know what to make of it.

Climb five floors of stairs after such a tiring night must've been the hardest thing Law has done in years. He heard his legs and brain screaming when Penguin told them the elevator was being repaired and, when he puts his foot right on the first step it was almost like torture. He tried not to look up to see how much stairs there was still to climb, and tried not to look down, otherwise, his mind would've told him it was preferably to just throw himself down.

He feels like shit. Tired and angry with himself. He wished he was in his own apartment, in his own bedroom, on his own bed, not climbing stairs to Penguin's, to sleep on the living room over some blankets and sheets that smell like mold because he just brings them out of the closet once or twice a year.

"Alright, who's hungry?" Penguin asks as soon as everyone's inside, closing the door behind them, then heading to the kitchen.

Law just remains standing in the corridor, watching everyone following Penguin, aside from Jean that heads directly to the living room, laying down on the mattress that's right beside Penguin's long couch, facing it. He doesn't even bother about taking his shoes off, or covering himself with a sheet or a blanket, just crosses his arms in front of his chest and starts snoring. Law's stomach rumbles, but the mere thought of food still sounds unappealing because he knows he will throw up if any food dares to touch it. He decides to head to the bathroom first, a small thing just at the end of a really long hallway that crosses all the apartment, passing right through the collection of pictures Penguin has hanging on the walls without paying much attention to them, being already too familiar with his surroundings. He takes a long piss and feels his eyes so heavy that he has to close them while doing so.

He stumbles his way back to the living room where only Jean's laying, snoring loudly, still in the same position. He takes off his shoes, putting them in a corner where they won't bother anyone, and then chooses the spot on the edge of the big improvised bed, laying over a thin mattress Penguin once bought to do exercise at home, bringing a thick blanket over his body. The pillow is a piece of shit, just fabric with a handful of filling that's barely noticeable, but it feels so good to finally have something to rest his heavy head on that he doesn't mind. He decides to take off his hat, putting it on the floor next to the mattress, then turns to his side and tries to find a comfortable position. He hears Jean snoring and people talking from the kitchen, a small room right next to the living room, along with the sound of plastic bags being opened. His belly rumbles again, but he feels so cozy and so comfortable that he doesn't dare to move.

Then the voices get louder, whispered and hissed. Law hears them taking off their shoes, but doesn't think they had the decency of putting them out of the way like he did, just throw them somewhere instead. He feels them stumbling their way into the pile of blankets and pillows, finding a spot to sleep on. He forces one eye open, just in time to see Luffy entering a sleeping bag right next to him, without his straw hat on top of his head and with Kid's coat gone. And then Penguin closes the blinds and everything's pitch black. He waits for his vision to adjust to the darkness, but it doesn't.

Luffy's smell fills the air then, along with the smell of alcohol, sweat, and stinky feet. He moves closer to Luffy, moving his body like a worm, and ends up falling asleep with his nose buried in Luffy's soft hair, breathing its smell and fighting the urge to run his fingers through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that knowledge is a powerful thing, and one can never have too much of it. There's always something to learn about, to acknowledge, to apprehend and assimilate. That's what makes one interesting to talk too.


	7. Chapter Seven

Law doesn't really know what woke him up, but one moment he was in the line between consciousness and sleep, the other he was wide awake, his eyes fully opened, although his surroundings were pitch black. He could feel a heavy arm around his waist, a hot and steady breath near his neck and a leg tangled with his own. He panics, not remembering who the person lying beside him might be, not remembering  _where_  he might be. His whole body hurts, the kind of pain that he can only associate with being run over by a truck, multiple times. His head feels like a bomb, ticking nonstop and about to explode at any minute. The surface underneath him is uncomfortable and cold against his spine, even with a thin layer of whatever fabric that is.

Then, and without a warning, flashes of what happened during Penguin's party start to overflow his brain, making his headache even worse. He doesn't remember the whole picture, only a few faces and a few locations at the beginning of the night, then his memories turn into a confusing blur with a few lost but vivid episodes, people whose appearance he can't quite describe and remember properly, the smell of smoke and vomit always following him, a permanent claustrophobic feeling wherever he went. He doesn't remember exactly at what time he realized he was getting so drunk he was starting to lose the control over himself, and yet he still decided to keep going, like one more drink wasn't going to make a difference. He doesn't remember properly how the night ended, how he got where he is laying right now, his mind is just so useless that he feels like he slept through a few years straight and woke up in the distant future.

But then there is Luffy in his memories, sweaty and so drunk he couldn't stand still. Then there were his own friends, so warm and so welcoming to him that it was like they had known each other for years and were all part of the same group. The night was just so confusing inside of Law's head that he almost couldn't resist the urge to punch himself for letting everything get misled together, for not being able to stop when it was the right time, for not being able to control himself. He's more responsible than that goddammit.

He deduces he's at Penguin's apartment, at least they all agreed at the beginning of the night to crash there once the party was over, and he also suspects that the person glued to him is no one other than Luffy, because whom else could it be really, and to whom else could that scent belong to. He feels a wave of relief wash through his body. He doesn't want to think about what could've happened to him if at least one person in the group didn't take the responsibility of taking care of a bunch of drunk idiots. He feels stupid and irresponsible, as if he didn't know the basics of staying safe on a way out at night, as if no one lectured him for hours and hours whenever he said he would go out with his friends, as if he just forgot everything, like he didn't even care about himself and what could've happened to him.

Law feels trapped and uncomfortable with what he suspects is a blanket, all tangled up between his legs. He tries to move to get it out of him, tries to stretch his legs, but that's a hard thing to do when one can't see shit and is not sure if moving is helping or just making the whole situation worse. He feels Luffy moving next to him, his face getting closer to his collarbone, and his grip getting tighter around his waist, his fingers digging into the fabric of his clothes, pushing him closer, like unconsciously making sure he wouldn't leave. Law feels a sudden warmth blossom inside of his chest and spreading all over his body. His heart starts pounding hard against his ribcage, the blood pumping so loud on his ears that he's sure that, if anyone was awake, they would hear it.

He wants to move again, to get the damn blanket out of his fucking legs, but he's afraid Luffy will wake up and realize he's cuddling him and move away. He tries to roll to the side, as gently as he can manage, changing his position and realizing half of his body is so numb and useless that he barely has the strength to even do a simple task like that. He ends up facing Luffy, his hot breath hitting his face gently, their noses so close the tips touch. It crosses Law's mind then that he could kiss him if he wanted to, even without being able to see anything it would not be that hard to calculate the distance. It would be as easy as moving an inch forward, only an inch and the lightest of the perks would be enough to feel his lips against his own.

But he doesn't move, because he doesn't want to, it was just a thought that crossed his sleepy and tired mind. He keeps telling himself that until he realizes the only reason he didn't do anything was because he was afraid Luffy would wake up. Only God knows what would've followed, and it was that possibility that kept him frozen in his place.

Sometimes Law thinks Luffy's into him, with all the puns and the shared smiles, the long-lasting stares and so on that last night was a perfect example of, or so he thinks it was. He then remembers  _he_  was the one asking for the puns,  _he_  was the one that saw a genuine and pure smile on Luffy's mouth when, in reality, there was just falsity splashed all over it. Law doesn't understand him, he's just so hard to read, so unpredictable, one moment he feels like he has figured the guy out, the other he seems like a total stranger to him.

But Law also doesn't understand what's wrong with himself either, it's like he changed into a different person without even realizing it. Things seem more complicated now, more frustrating. He finds himself often doubting if he's doing things correctly or not, finds himself questioning and pondering before acting when before it was the opposite, he would do whatever he wanted and arch with the consequences after. It's like somehow, he grew up and became aware how his actions do influence people around him, that a simple word or a simple gest could either have a devastating or uplifting impact on someone, that if he did kiss Luffy right there and he woke up it could lead either to him freaking out or him wanting more, and Law honestly doesn't know what terrifies him the most.

And he hates it. He hates how it's just so hard to understand what goes through Luffy's head. He seemed such an open book a few months before, so easy and ready to be read, but right now he's just like an ocean, the more you think you know about him the more you realize there are dark things hidden deep down just waiting for the right time to come out and ruin everything you took for granted.

Law knows Luffy checks him out when he's not looking, he can feel his eyes on him, and Shachi used to point it out a lot before Law threatened his life if he didn't shut up about the goddamn subject, but at the same time it feels like Luffy does things without really meaning anything, like he looks at you but doesn't really bother to  _see_  you, laughs at something because other people are laughing too, like a copycat that is just trying to blend in and not call for attention, and Law can't stop himself from feeling pity for him, and he hates it because the last thing Luffy has ever needed is pity.

Law decides then that he doesn't want to think about that, there's no point in wondering if Luffy is into him or not, simply because the feeling would not be reciprocated. Instead, he falls asleep again while trying to push the thoughts out of his tired brain, letting himself feel comfortable under Luffy's embrace, surrounded by his addicting smell and warmth, and wishes neither of them had to wake up in a few hours and face the real world again.

.

.

.

The next time he wakes up the room is no longer dark. Instead, there's sunlight coming from the two big windows right next to him and noises coming from the kitchen. He's now once again facing the ceiling and Luffy's half on top of him, with his face blurred on the curve of his neck, seeking unconsciously for protection against the sunlight. There's also an arm grabbing him still, one hand resting lightly on his hip, the other one lost somewhere in between them.

Law tries to move, this time to get away from Luffy's embrace, but he finds it harder. Whenever he tries to move an inch Luffy just buries his face even deeper on the curve his neck, his lips pressed against his skin and his breath making him shiver every time he exhales. He looks down at him from the corner of his eye, trying to free his neck. Luffy seems just so peaceful, even with dark circles underneath his eyes, contrasting with the pale tone of his skin but matching perfectly with the blackness of his hair, so soft against Law's cheek that he finds it to be a pleasant surprise.

"Luffy?" Law whispers, low to not disturb the others still snoring beside them and tries to move once more. Luffy's answer comes through the form of an incomprehensible mumble against his neck. "Luffy, c'mon, I need to take a piss," he tries again and manages to get Luffy to loosen his grip on him. Law then grabs Luffy's arm and lifts it slightly, only so he can get free from his embrace, then proceeds to slide out from under the rest of Luffy's body. He sits there for a while, facing the windows and with Luffy curling up in a ball behind him, trying to cover his face with the pillow and his hands. Law feels so exhausted and pathetic that he needs to fight a sudden urge to crawl back to where he was, to go back to sleep and forget his needs. He takes his time pulling himself up, his head pounding so much it's like someone's using his brain as a drum, and his body being so numb he fears he may fall down any minute.

He stumbles through the sleeping bodies, forgotten shoes and all the blankets laying around without tripping more than just a few times. He heads to the bathroom, stepping inside and closing the door behind himself. He takes his time in the toilet, and then his time looking at his own reflection, trying his best to recognize his old self. He looks like shit. His eyes are red in the corners and so puffy that it's like he was stung by bees on both of them. His hair's an oily and tangled mess and his face is so pale that he could easily be portrayed as a ghost. He doesn't like looking at himself, doesn't like what he has changed into, but there's not much he can do.

He washes his face with cold water, splashing it everywhere but not minding it, after all, it's not his bathroom. He picks up Penguin's toothpaste and tries to wash off the horrible taste he has on his mouth with his fingers, but the flavor of mint only helps him get more nauseous than ever.

He leaves the bathroom and heads to the kitchen, hoping he doesn't seem as tense as he feels.

Penguin's making breakfast, or so it seems like he is. Judging by the mess, Law guesses it isn't working out that well. He stands there by the door for a few moments, wondering if he should go help him or not, or better, if he has the energy to even get where the guy's standing. "Need help with that?" He then asks, feeling sorry for him because he clearly didn't know what the fuck he was doing, judging by the state of his kitchen. Dirty containers everywhere, flour everywhere, just a mess everywhere.

"Law! Jesus Christ, you scared the living shit out of me!" Penguin says loudly, knocking over a Tupperware. He doesn't seem to mind the noise he made too much but, for Law and his poor head, it was pure torture.

Law takes his time recovering, pressing his forehead with his palms as if that helps in anything. "Sorry," he then mumbles, approaching Penguin and having a hard time trying to figure out what the well he was trying to cook.

"Pancakes," Penguin says as if reading his mind, "I was trying to make pancakes, but I never really made them before, so I'm kinda confused, as you can probably tell." He laughs, an uncomfortable laugh for being a useless person that only on occasional days of his life feels the necessity to cook for himself. He looks up at Law with his eyes wide open and a full toothy grin that makes him want to leave the kitchen and pretend that he never entered. It took him a second to realize Penguin was actually directing his hopes to the person behind him, so he stepped aside, seeing Luffy standing there like he was half dead and still not properly awakened yet.

"You work in a coffee shop! You totally gotta help me with this shit, man!" Law hears Penguin saying but he doesn't pay much attention to him, just leans there against the counter and contemplates the idea of going back to the mess of blankets on the floor.

"I make coffee and grab already made pasties from the display," Luffy tells him, approaching the counter and sounding as miserable as Law's feeling, his voice so rough and low it's barely audible. "I can't cook to save a life really."

"Well, they ain't no princesses, so they'll have to be satisfied with what we present them and shut their mouths. I just need some sort of specific directions really, because this recipe is bullshit," Penguin says, completely ignoring the fact that Law's there and listening. "Now please tell me what the hell I'm supposed to be doing."

Law keeps looking in their direction with one of his glares, probably wishing one of them would notice that he's still there, and sees Penguin scratching the back of his neck while showing Luffy the ingredients laying on top of the counter. Luffy approaches, seeming overall unaffected by Law's presence, like he didn't even notice he was standing just beside him, like he's ignoring him. He grabs a pair of eggs and breaks them against the counter with mechanical movements, as if moving is painful, dirtying the counter with the egg white. He looks at Penguin's phone and reads what Law supposes it's the recipe with frowned eyebrows.

"It can't be that hard," he hears Luffy muttering before starting shoving every ingredient inside the bowl while Penguin mixed everything together as vigorously as only one without a hungover could do, a big cloud of white flour making both of them cough in the process. Turns out the hard part came when they had to actually cook them since Penguin didn't really own a proper utensil to cook pancakes and therefore they had to content themselves with using a large frying pan that Penguin claimed to be non-sticky but turned out to be the exact opposite, no matter how much butter they used to keep the batter from touching the pan directly and how gently they tried to flip it with the help of a plastic spatula.

Sachi joined them by the time the third pancake was being flipped and, after giving Law one of his weirdest looks so far, a scary smirk with a very disturbing eyebrow move, he joined them too. Apparently, and according to him, it was outrageous to flip a pancake with a spatula, so he had to interrupt the process while explaining that a true pancake is flipped by moving the pan. He ended up grabbing it out of the stove, trying to flip the goddamn pancake and failing miserably as it kept glued to the base. Luffy laughed when Penguin started to, and laughed even harder when Shachi also started to. The situation wasn't at all that funny, but, for some reason, Law ended up enjoying their presence. For a brief moment, he forgot his headache, forgot the pain in his back. For a brief moment, he was actually enjoying himself and the company. For a brief moment, everything actually felt okay, but that sensation ended as abruptly as it started because when he looked in Luffy's direction and really focused on him he noticed how there was not a single drop of joy on that. The smile was there, the laugh was there, but they were both  _wrong_.

Luffy must've felt his stare on him that time, because as soon as their eyes met his smile died a bit, but he quickly looked away when Kid just shoved Law aside to pass through and to go grab one of the few already cooked and ugly pancakes that were resting untouched on a plate beside him. It's only then that Law realizes their laugh woke everyone up, when they start complaining about the noise and about how selfish all of them are. Law just feels like he was punched in the gut, it was what he recalls best from last night all over again. Luffy laughing without meaning it, pretending to be having a good time when in reality he looks as tense as a block of concrete, always looking around as if trying to find an escape route.

Law keeps looking at him, still in the same position looking in the door's direction, the only way out of the room. He doesn't really know why, but he steps aside and leaves the kitchen, motioning for Luffy to follow him with his head after passing in front of him.

He heads to the living room, grabbing a pack of cigarettes from a forgotten jacket that surely belonged to Sachi due to how ugly it was. He then opens the glass door that looks like a mere window to the common eye but that actually leads to a small balcony that barely even has enough space for one person. He tells himself he just wanted to smoke, nothing more, and that Luffy joined him not long after by mere coincidence.

Luffy closes the door behind him and the noise Law's friends make gets blocked, although partially, allowing the sound of the traffic on the road ahead to stand out. They end up sitting there, because it's more comfortable that way and because the railing doesn't really cover the view and manages to give them some sort of shadow from the high sun. The brightness of the sunlight makes Law's eyes hurt and his face gets warmer and warmer as the time passes by, but he finds that he doesn't mind because there's a cold breeze that comes occasionally and makes the moment better.

He looks in Luffy's direction, him being so close their shoulders and legs touch, him opting for sitting with his legs folded underneath him while Law preferred to just stretch and stick them out of the railing. Luffy looks like he's also enjoying the moment, with his eyes closed and his head resting against the door behind him, although that could also mean it's so bright that he can't keep his eyes open, Law isn't quite sure.

It's only then that Law realizes Luffy's forehead was sweaty and that he was actually trying to control his breathing. His nostrils twitching furiously every time he inhaled. "You okay?" He ends up asking after a while, trying to speak as low and calmly as he could manage.

"Yeah," Luffy answers, but it's so low on his ears that he would've sworn the guy was far away if their sides weren't touching. Law sees him swallowing then, his Adam's apple moving on his throat, but his voice still comes out shaky, small. "Just nauseous."

Law decides to not insist on the subject, and instead lights another cigarette and watches as the breeze blows the smoke away, the smell remaining every time he blows it out of his mouth. He offers Luffy one, just for the sake of it, and receives only a slight shake of head in return.

And that's when Law noticed them, all the scars on Luffy's arms, from wrist to elbow, some big, others looking like a mere scratch, some old, others brand new. They stand out on Luffy's thin and pale arms like a food stain on a white shirt, even though Law's sure the worst of it is in the part he can't see.  _That's why he insists on using a cardigan even when it's hot as hell outside_ , Law thinks, and realizes he was staring when ashes fall on his leg and burn a small hole on the fabric of his jeans before he has time to shake it off.

"So, hum," Law hears Luffy saying, his eyes still closed, clearing his throat in the process and sounding uncomfortable, "did you sleep well?"

It takes Law a few seconds to realize the cuddling, Luffy's face on his neck and Luffy's arm around his waist were not implied in the question. In fact, it took Law a few seconds to realize that it was not more than an excuse to fulfill the void and the silence between them, that it didn't have any malice or more meaning than that. "Yeah, it was nice," he ends up responding, but he was more focused on the scars than on the actual question.

He tries not to look at them, he really does, but it's hard to look away when he's trying to see just how many they actually are. He hears Luffy clearing his throat again, sees him moving and getting self-conscious, trying to hide his arms but failing miserably as there was nothing to cover them up with.

Law feels the air shift, the ambiance getting awkward and suddenly he is the one in need to fulfill the lack of communication, to make Luffy feel comfortable again. "There's no need to hide them, I already know they're there," Law says, trying his best for his voice to not sound judgmental.

He sees Luffy's body get tense, his posture so rigid even his chest didn't seem to move while breathing. The atmosphere got heavy and suddenly the sunlight wasn't enough to warm Law against the cold breeze. Luffy looked so shocked with Law finding out about his secret, so resentful for letting his guard down that he looked small and fragile, like an abandoned teddy bear on a park after a family picnic.

"Sorry," Law ends up muttering when he couldn't stand the silence anymore, but doesn't add the  _I shouldn't have said anything_  because, deep down, he knows that yes, him saying that was a good thing, at least now he knows what's happening, or at least a parcel of it, and Luffy knows he knows, and that should break at least a wall between them, right? It should make him feel more comfortable around him because now Law knows what's under the cardigan and there's no need to pretend everything's alright. No more excuses. No more lies. No more lying and faking. Or so Law stupidly hopes.

"Please don't tell anyone," Luffy tells him, low and rough, looking so miserable and so desperate that Law's afraid he'll break in tears, but at the same time looking at him so fiercely and with such determination, it's almost mesmerizing.

"Why would I?" Law asks, trying to sound supportive when Luffy's breaths start to come out way faster than what they should have, trying to calm him down.

"I'm serious, Law! You have to promise you won't tell anyone, not even Shachi," Luffy says, all of his body shaking, bringing his pinky finger up and exposing all of his bare right arm, but looking so intensely into Law's eyes that he doesn't have enough strength to look anywhere else and break eye contact.

"Only if  _you_  promise to call me whenever you need anything," Law says, putting all the meaning on his words and Luffy just nods, seeming overwhelmed but thankful that Law isn't making a scene or calling him out for hurting himself. When Law joins their fingers, he's immediately crushed with the excitement one gets after discovering something no one else knows, after being given an important responsibility, or shared a secret that only a few know about. He feels important, needed, useful in a way he hasn't felt in a long time. More than a broken person, Luffy's is now a potential patient whom Law will know how to properly help because it's easier to make a cut stop bleeding than knowing the proper words to use to comfort someone, and that's what Law's helpful with.

They're still sharing a stare when Jean comes and knocks on the glass of the door and calls them for breakfast, looking annoyed and without paying much attention to both of them and their situation, which is why Law takes a mental note to appreciate him some more in the future.

He lets Luffy get inside first, finishing his last cigar in one big puff of smoke and throwing the rest out of the balcony, not really minding if it falls on top of someone else's head. He grabs his forgotten jacket from the living room's floor and throws it at Luffy's back, making him stumble to grab it before it falls on the floor, sharing a brief smile that only they know the meaning of.

They end up eating the remnants of the ugliest and worst pancakes Law has ever eaten, but Law finds he doesn't mind, because at least now Luffy doesn't seem as uncomfortable as before, being able to move freely without worrying about hiding his scars.

.

.

.

It's only when Law arrives at his own apartment that he realizes he feels like his soul is being sucked out of his body. It's only then, in the safety of his own place, that his body collapses and his legs can't stand his own weight, as if the moment he closed the door behind him he also triggered a switch that made his body stop pretending it was alright. He has to sit on the floor for a few moments for his head to recover from the elevator's movement and stop spinning. He feels the urge to throw up, and he would if he didn't make Shachi stop the car in the middle of the road for him to throw up the few bits of pancakes he ate in the sidewalk just a few minutes ago.

He feels so weak and so sore he wonders if during the night he didn't get involved in a fight with everyone inside of Blueno's Bar and lost miserably to all of them.

He fights to stand up again and walks towards the bathroom's direction. He would honestly prefer to just throw himself into the soft mattress of his bed, but he stinks too much to get near his pure and clean sheets. He takes off his clothes and shoes and lets them stay spread all over the bathroom's floor, stepping inside of the shower before finding the exact point where the water comes out at just the right temperature. He rests his face against the cold and humid tiles of the wall and lets the hot water wash away all his worries, regrets and pains. He ignores the fallen packaging of shampoo forgotten next to his feet and grabs the soap, starting to scrub his skin furiously, as if it will help in any way other than helping him get clean.

He scrubs his waist, his chest, his neck, and his shoulders harder than the rest of his body, trying to erase Luffy's touch from them, but the soap doesn't seem to make much difference as the feeling keeps there, like a burn, an itch that doesn't go away. Eventually, he stops, defeated, his skin all red and scratched.

Bringing his face up, he lets the water hit it and run drown his neck, shoulders, and chest. The hot steam reminds him of Luffy's hot breath on his neck, and it makes him wonder what it would be like to have him panting next to his ear. Law tries to shake the thought away, but once again he fails miserably. It's like once you meet Luffy it's impossible to erase his presence. His body feels weak and he has to lean against the tiles once more to prevent a fall.

He wonders what Luffy's lips would feel like against his and against his skin, and he wonders if he really did have the chance to touch them and lost it, or if it was just a dream mixing with his memories.

The hot water doesn't help him, the whole warmness of the bathroom doesn't help him, and he doesn't have enough strength to prevent his cock from reacting, or to fight the urge to touch it. His legs feel numb and in no time he's cumming hard, but too soon. He watches as everything goes down the drain and, not long after that, the water starts running cold, but he stays in the same position, without even turning it off, too perturbed to function and to think.

Eventually, he gets out, pouring wet from head to toe, and stands in front of his mirror. He feels confused, embarrassed, mortified and his face shows just that. He doesn't know what he's doing anymore, what the itch inside his chest means. He suddenly wants to break something, the sink, the mirror, his own arm, just something, but he doesn't, he's too tired. Instead, he walks towards his bedroom, leaving a wet trail behind, and throws himself to the bed, not even bothering to get under the covers or to put some clothes on. His hair quickly soaks the pillow, but he doesn't care, he's too focused on trying to take Luffy's face out of his mind, too focused on trying to forget what just happened.

He hears his phone ringing from the living room and he ignores it too. He doesn't remember ever feeling so lost in his entire life, so disoriented, so out of control. And he hates it and hates Luffy even more for making him feel like that. He wants to punch him, punch him so hard his face gets unrecognizable. Wants to punch him and don't stop until his eyes stop being so shiny, until his teeth stop being so white and perfect, until his nose breaks and his cheeks bleed, until he has a face that Law doesn't want to stare at, doesn't to touch.

He ends up falling asleep, the clock on his bedside table marking only four in the afternoon.

.

.

.

"Earth to Law,  _over_."

Law sighs, annoyed, and tries to pay attention to the lecture despite the interruption, it proving to be hard as the professor keeps insisting in staying on the other side of the room and talking low. "What do you want, Shachi?"

"Can you stop ignoring me?"

"I'm not ignoring you," he responds, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, you are, you're pretending to pay attention to the damn lecture this whole time while I'm here trying to have a decent conversation with you," Shachi says, not even making an effort to try and keep his voice low.

"I'm not pretending to pay attention, I am  _trying_  to pay attention, but someone just keeps talking," Law says, starting to get irritated.

"Then why haven't you taken a single note, uh, Law?" Shachi grabs Law's blank sheet from under his arm and holds it in front of his face, as if to prove his point.

"Why are you so damn annoying?"

"Because you've been avoiding me like the plague. You don't answer my phone calls or message me back. Sitting next to you in class is basically the only chance I get to talk to you for fuck's sake."

"Then next time I should sit somewhere where there isn't enough space for you," Law says, putting the most faked smile he can manage on his face and then returning his attention to the professor once more.

"Law, I'm serious, and you know it, that's why you're acting like a child."

"The only child here is you," Law mutters and notices the glares in their direction, all from people who could only hear a few words from the professor before but that now can't hear anything besides their conversation. "Now shut the hell up and let me pay attention to the fucking man. It's already impossible to hear him, don't make it even harder."

"We're not over," Shachi says, this time lower and next to his ear, a warning. "Me you. Lunch. Got it?"

"Whatever, just shut up," Law says, thankful he stopped, the headache that had been haunting him for the past few days coming back in full force.

On the contrary of what Sachi believes, he's not avoiding him, he really isn't, their path just hasn't crossed in these past few days and he hasn't been in the mood to answer his calls, or any calls for that matter. There's just so many things he needs to get done, so much shit that's overflowing him. He doesn't have time to do anything and he can't even manage to finish anything decently. Two days ago, he forgot to do a goddamn resumé and it was the first time he has ever left an assignment get overdue in all of his students' life.

There's just so much shit that came out of nowhere and that he's not following up. He doesn't have enough motivation to study, and his mind always wanders off whenever he's trying to pay attention to what the professors are saying. The notes once highly looked up as being excellent are now pure shit, or nothing at all. So yeah, it gets really under his nerve when Shachi just comes and demands for attention and time when Law doesn't even have time for himself.

And with Shachi comes Penguin and Jean, and everyone else that suddenly got an interest in him, as if he didn't have enough annoying people on his daily basis already.

Law notices the professor moving, coming closer to his desk. He sees his lips moving but it's like the sound doesn't reach him, and then suddenly everyone's raising from their seats and leaving, Shachi next to him telling him to hurry up that he's hungry.

He follows the people, wishing Shachi loses him in between them, but the guy keeps close to him, as if anticipating Law's wish. He tells him Jean and Penguin will meet them there, but that will arrive a bit late as their lecture was on the other side of campus and Law doesn't really know if that's a good or a bad thing.

"So," Shachi starts while they're waiting in the line to get the food, "You're gonna start talking before they arrive because I know you're shy and they don't need to know."

Law snorts in disbelief. "Shy? Are you calling me shy? Really?"

"Well, yes," Shachi says, like it's obvious and he's an expert in detecting shy people. "Otherwise why would you have so many problems with opening up, huh?"

"I don't have problems with that, there's just nothing to talk about," Law says, annoyed. It's been a week since Penguin's birthday party and Shachi's dying to find out what's happening between him and Luffy and doesn't accept the fact that there's  _nothing_ _._  Penguin insisted on the subject in the beginning too, but it didn't take him so long to get bored and leave it be. Shachi, on the other hand, is just as stupid as a rock.

"Yeah, sure. As if I'm blind," Shachi says, and remains quiet while choosing the food to put on the plastic tray. He goes sit on the corner further away from the door as possible, with only a few people around. "I just don't understand why you don't want to talk to me about it. I tell you everything, and I'm your best friend."

"Just because you tell me your shit doesn't mean I have to tell you mine, that's not how it works. Plus, there's really nothing between him and me. I don't really remember much from that night, I was drunk, in case you don't remember, and drunk people do stupid things. But you should already know that, you're drunk all the fucking time," Law says, bitterly and he knows Shachi didn't like his tone, or his words, but he doesn't care, he's done with trying to explain it peacefully.

"Exactly, that's why it's bothering me so much. I've seen you drunk before too, and you never acted that way that's why I'm asking," Shachi says, filling his mouth with food and chewing it loudly. "It's not even about  _that_  anymore."

"Then it's about  _what_?"

"It' just… You look so off of this planet lately, so distracted. Of course, I understand if you don't want to tell me, it's your damn choice, but I honestly think keeping things to yourself isn't always the best way," Shachi says, looking straight at him with a worried expression, and it makes Law wonder if he has really been acting so differently. "I just want you to know that I'm here to talk, and to help with whatever I can. You tend to overthink about things and sometimes a more straightforward approach or point of view can help, you know?"

Law sighs, more tired than upset. He would honestly tell him if he could, if he didn't promise Luffy to keep his whole situation a secret. "I know, Shachi, I know. And trust me, I would tell you if there was anything to tell, but there's nothing between him and me."

"And do you want to have something with him?" Shachi asks, not satisfied with Law explanation and catching him off guard that it makes Law choke on his goddamn water, dropping it on his plate and watering his tray.

"The fuck, Shachi," Law says, cleaning the mess he made with the only napkin he has, stealing Shachi's one too. He looks at his ruined food and sighs again, it's not like he was hungry or anything. "No. I don't."

Shachi comes closer, his chest almost touching his plate. "You sure?"

"Yes, and this conversation is absolutely pointless," Law says, but Shachi only looks at him, his brows frowned. "Look here, Shachi, I know you're a dumb fuck, but I am not gay, got it?"

Shachi nods but doesn't seem too convinced. He opens his mouth to say something, but the words die before even leaving as Jean and Penguin arrive and sit beside them, Penguin saying loudly how his lesson was pure shit and Jean nodding in confirmation.

Law has never been happier to see the two of them.

He notices Shachi looking at him from the corner of his eye, and he knows the guy's not over yet. He knows Law's hiding something from him, that's why he keeps insisting, but what he wants to know is not what Law keeps as a secret. And, to be honest, Law does want to tell him Luffy has been cutting himself for only God knows how long, wants to tell him Luffy's been hurting himself and that he's the only one knowing and therefore the only one that can help him if the moment ever comes. Wants to tell him there's no romance involved, nothing other than that, but that, at the same time, he's afraid he'll ruin the opportunity to help the guy out because he's just useless when it comes to words. But he can't, because Shachi can't keep his mouth shut and Nami would, sooner or later, know, and with Nami everyone else inside Luffy's circle of friends. And Law doesn't have the right to share the secret Luffy has trusted him like that.

"-so yeah, we can do that. I actually need desperately to revise this shit," he hears Penguin saying next to him, before the guy looks at him. "You in?"

"In for what?"

"To study, Law," Shachi says, looking at him with an expression as if to say,  _t_ _here you are, distracted again_  and Law swears to god he would punch the life out of him if they weren't inside a public place.

Law rolls his eyes and ignores him. "Yeah, I'm in."

"Okay, great, then we can meet in the library or something. I still have to go grab my shit at home-" Shachi says but is interrupted by his phone's ring. He looks at the screen and frowns. "Yes, Nami? Again? Hum, yeah, sure. Be there in twenty minutes. Ok, yeah, see ya," he says, ending the call and sighing exasperatedly, leaning back against the chair and pouting, his arms falling in his sides in defeat. "I'm sorry guys, I can't come."

"What happened?" Law asks, probably too fast as all of them look at him weirdly.

"Well, Luffy won't be able to come to work on time,  _again_. I'll be covering his shift for him, I guess. I swear to god that guy owes me so much," he says, looking at Law and expecting a reaction.

"What happened to him?" Penguin asks, pouting like a child whose plans to play with his friends got canceled last minute.

"Dunno," Shachi answers, shrugging, "he disappears sometimes, but no one ever tells me the reason. But well, whatever, Nami needs my indispensable person so I don't complain. You guys could come too, the place has been awfully quiet lately, I can join you every once in a while. Plus, he may appear later on and free me," he suggests, and everyone nods in agreement, after all, Bell-mere's has more coffee and pastries than the library will ever have.

.

.

.

Law curses loudly and hits the closest rock, making it fly far away from him. He's angry. No, he's beyond angry. And the worst part is that there isn't really a reason for it. He just  _is_.

His body feels heavy, and his footsteps pound loudly on the sidewalk. He's walking almost robotically, his eyes looking straight forward but without registering anything. He's not paying attention to where he's going, he's only relying on his subconscious to go on the right way and, so far, it's working just fine. He's has walked down those same streets so many times already that he could do it blindfolded by now.

The streets are chilly and yellowish due to all the illumination. He could've caught a bus, or even a taxi, it would've saved him a lot of time and energy but, truth is, the more time it took him to get home, the less he would have to study and kill his brain cells with yet more information. He saw the line of people waiting by the bus stop right after he left Bell-mere's and there was no way that amount of people would fit inside of a goddam bus, at least not comfortably enough. So it was either wait an hour for the next one, sell the liver to pay for a taxi or walk and, even though he feels tired and his head hurts, that was by far the best option. And once he found the right pace it wasn't even that hard, he drank so much caffeine during all the afternoon that it's like his body is almost an independent part of himself, a mixture of limbs just walking forward while his mind wanders.

He lets the chilly breeze hit his face without caring. He feels frustrated, useless because he can't seem to assimilate anything these days. It's like his brain has created some kind of barrier between him and the piles of books and texts that he needs to know word by word. He feels utterly out of place, demotivated. He doesn't care what cell does what. He just doesn't. And, yet again, he must, or else he may as well just quit his course and go home, and that's completely out of question. He has not worked his ass off for half of his life now for nothing.

He tells himself that it's just temporary, that he has felt the same way over some subjects, just not only over  _all_  of them at the same time, and that's what's bothering him. He has nothing to worry about.

People pass right past him like he's nothing but an obstacle on their way and he envies them for once. He feels like he's trapped on a limbo, just heading forward but not really with anywhere to go. Sure, he's going to his apartment, but he doesn't want to, he would much rather stop exactly where he is at and contemplate the beautiful sun that is almost out of view and that will only come again tomorrow. He would, but he also knows that's procrastination talking loudly inside of his mind, so he quickens his pace. He can't let that sort of thoughts germinate inside his brain, otherwise, they will propagate themselves to the point where he would just avoid everything work-related.

He decides to put his headphones on, raising the level of volume until all the city's mundane chaos is blocked out, until he sees the people moving their lips while passing by him but without hearing a word, until he can only hear a horn here and there and that occasional car whose noise resembles a monster growling. He suddenly feels all his anger building up, his blood starting to boil inside of his system, his nails piercing his palms. He relieves a great part of it with a kick on the nearest light pole, but it's not enough. He feels a striking pain on his right foot where he knows will be a bruise sooner or later but it's not enough. He needs to punch something else, break his knuckles, see the blood dripping from them after.

People look at him while passing by. Some stop for a few seconds to take a better look, but he finds he couldn't care less. He would punch them all if he could, reak their noses and jawlines.

He goes sit on a nearby wooden bench, full of graffiti and pigeon shit. He lets his head fall onto his hands, his arms resting on his thighs. He presses his palms against his closed eyes and sighs. He needs to get home, he has work to get done. And yet, all he wants is to go back to Bell-mere's. With luck Luffy will still be there, cleaning everything and closing the place. Law shouldn't have left, he realizes it now. He should have stayed, should have said goodbye to his friends and see them leave through the door while he remained sat down. But no, he's a goddamn idiot.

He curses and runs his fingers through his hair, knocking his hat down in the process, and recalls the afternoon in his head.

Their study session ended up being a complete failure. The Bell-mere's was full of customers from the moment they arrived to the moment they left and they barely found a place where the three of them could sit together, having to satisfy themselves with a tiny round table that barely had space for a person to have a snack, and to go steal two chairs from nearby tables.

Shachi ended up not studying much with them, at first because there was no space for him to do so whenever there was a period of time without new customers, later, after they moved to Law's usual and spacious corner, because customers just kept entering. And, to be fair, him, Jean and Penguin didn't study that much either. Well, not really, Jean actually stayed focused most of the time, taking his pauses whenever new pastries or coffee arrived at their table, which was every half an hour or so, while Penguin kept his eyes glued to his phone, sometimes grinning at the screen, others just looking at it with his headphones on, saying he was watching a YouTube video that explained perfectly the subject they were studying.

Law, in the beginning, managed to make a few very good notes and to summarize a few pages, but that productivity quickly vanished the moment he saw Luffy through the window, running and all flushed, his straw hat dangling on the back of his neck. He entered Bell-mere's in a rush, apologizing for being late to Shachi, who just threw him his uniform in a silent demand for help, as the line kept getting bigger and bigger.

From that moment on, the amount of time Law kept his eyes on his books was minimum, compared to what he spent looking at what was happening behind the counter. Shachi didn't join them at the table until much later in the afternoon, preferring to stay and help Luffy with the customers, which, for Penguin and Jean, came as a surprise. Why would he stay there working when his improvised shift ended the moment Luffy entered? Especially when he's always bitching about whenever he needs to cover Luffy's shift.  _They just don't know Luffy enough yet,_  Law realizes then, otherwise, they wouldn't say a thing.

Law takes a cigarette from his pocket. He has been smoking so much lately he can feel his lungs deteriorating, but he finds he doesn't care as much as he should, nicotine helps him calm down more than anything else can. He remembers noticing Luffy was acting weirdly. He keeps his red cardigan on over his uniform, even though his face was a red and a sweaty mess, but about the reason behind that he already knew about. There was something else. His movements were more mechanical than usual, he moved as if it hurt him, cautiously. He kept his straw hat hanging in the back of his neck when he always takes it off and puts it on the safety on the counter and, most important of all, he never once looked in their direction, not from the corner of his eye, not directly.

It was only when Law went to the counter to order another round of coffees that Luffy looked at him. It was only then that he noticed the tone of his neck was slightly different from the rest of his exposed skin. It was only then that he realized his neck was covered with makeup, and one can only assume the worst that can be hidden under that.

He exhales deeply, watching as the cloud of smoke leaves his mouth only to dissipate a few seconds later. How can he go home when he doesn't know what happened to Luffy? How could he concentrate on anything other than that? How could he leave it be when Luffy had promised he would tell him these kinds of stuff and clearly didn't?

He stands up, deciding that going to his apartment was useless. Instead, he starts walking all the way back to Bell-mere's.

He needs to know.

.

.

.

When he finally gets there it's already way past the time the coffee shop closed, but there's still some faint light coming through the big windows. Shachi didn't stay to close and Nojiko left before they did so, or she came back, or maybe Nami, or Luffy is there all by himself, which he hopes.

He approaches the door and knocks. It reminds him of the time he wanted to knock the damn door down before Nojiko opened it for him with a not so pleased glare. It seems like years have passed since then, so much as changed. With luck though, this time, it will be Luffy opening the door for him. With luck, he will be happier to see him than Nojiko did.

No one opens, so he knocks again and again and it's only when Law's about to call Luffy's phone to tell him the maniac knocking is him that the door opens.

"Sorry, we're clo-" Luffy says, sounding annoyed, but, once he notices him, his eyes go big. "Law? What are you doing here?" He asks, opening the door enough for him to enter, closing it right after. "I thought you went home."

"That was the plan," Law says, putting his backpack on top of one of the nearby tables that were already clustered near the wall. "But then I thought you might have wanted some help."

Luffy seems a bit surprised, and Law notices he didn't buy what he just said, but he doesn't question it. "Not really, I'm almost finished here. But feel free to stay. Do you need me to turn on the internet for you or something?"

Law shakes his head in response, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "We need to talk."

Luffy looks at him, his head tilting to the side. "Hum. Sure, about what?"

Law takes a few steps forward until he's right in front of Luffy, standing taller than him. He brings his left hand up and touches Luffy's neck slightly with the tip of his index finger. "What about this for a start," he says, returning back to his initial position.

Luffy looks at him, only to look away right after. He seems taken back and ashamed, like a kid caught lying. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Law rolls his eyes. "May I remind you what we pinky promised?"

That seems to trigger something, judging by Luffy's change in position.  _He took it as a threat,_ Law thinks, and that's not at all what he intended. "It's nothing, really, don't worry about it."

"Then why hide it?"

Luffy looks at him, his eyes vague. "Because people ask questions. Because they start to get annoying when they don't realize they should drop the subject on the first hint to do so," he then says, his voice sounding angry and annoyed, and it makes Law question if it really was a good idea to come back.

Luffy storms into the kitchen area then, leaving Law all by himself, but not for long, as he quickly follows him. "Maybe that's because said people get worried," he says at Luffy's back and watches as he throws all the empty packages of flour and sugar and so on into the trash bin.

"Maybe I don't want them to worry about me. Maybe I just want things to go back to what they were," Luffy says, sighing loudly afterward. "Wouldn't you prefer to go back as things were?"

_Definitely not_ , Law thinks. "Back when you used to gave me free food with puns?" Law asks, receiving a nod in response. "Back when Bell-mere's was my second home and I spent most of my free time in here?" Another nod. "Back when we barely talked? Back when we barely knew shit about each other?" Luffy's response came out in the form of silence, his eyes gazing at the floor. "Back when I didn't care shitless about you? Back when I only knew you existed because you served me coffee?"

Luffy takes his time to respond, and Law waits. "It was a lot easier back then," it ends up coming low, as if even him didn't buy is own words.

"I've never pictured you as someone who liked the easy stuff," Law says and provokes half a smirk on Luffy, that just closes his eyes and shakes his head.

"How do you always know what to say, uh?" Luffy asks and Law responds with a smile. He approaches him and helps him throw all the useless and dirty packages into the trash bin. They stay cleaning in silence for quite some time, the silence only being interrupted by Law asking where this or that should go, but he finds that he doesn't mind it.

They clean everything quite quickly, and the smell of the cleaning products gets misled with the still strong scent of pastries and sweets, creating an odd but pleasing mixture. They say in silence a few more seconds, admiring their work.

"How come you didn't insist more?" Luffy asks, looking up at him, so close Law wonders how their arms aren't touching. "It doesn't sound like you, letting go of a subject so easily. I doubt my speech has had any impact on you, and yet."

Law smirks down at him, crossing his arms in front is his chest, almost like an excuse to do something and not let them just hanging there. "You'll tell me when you feel like it. There's no rush. I'll wait"

"What if I take too long?"

"Well, I'm not going anywhere, am I?" he says without really thinking, without really measuring his words, without really realizing the implications of them, and Luffy just stands there, looking at him with big beautiful eyes. Then he smiles, looking away from Law's before focusing on the next task.

And then there it was again, the itch between Law's lungs.

.

.

.

Law ends up going with Luffy to his place after finishing cleaning the Bell-mere's floor and counter, which took longer than what he has expected. They take one of the last buses of the day, a small one that only took three more people inside other than them. From the inside, it looks smaller than from the outside and there's barely enough space in the short corridor for Law to walk through the last row of seats without having to knock people with his backpack.

He decides to sit by the window, Luffy sitting right next to him, and regrets deeply his decision. There's no space for his legs to fit in the space in front of him, and he has to take some of Luffy's space, as his legs are a lot shorter and don't face the same problems as his own legs do. Luffy doesn't seem to mind, but Law still feels like he's being too spacious, and he hates his height for it.

However, aside from that, the bus trip is, by far, the best one Law has ever had since he moved to the city. He has used the nocturnal busses before, but he never found a driver as mad as this one. He speeds when he shouldn't, and speeds even more when he can. The route that should be twenty minutes long gets reduced to seven, and if that's not saying enough, he doesn't know what is. In one of the roundabouts, the bus was going so fast that they even had to take an extra round just because the driver couldn't get out safely and on time. Law feels like he's inside a rollercoaster, and he knows he would throw up if he had already eaten dinner.

Luffy keeps laughing the whole time, eyes closed and mouth wide open. His face gets all flushed and it's like he's suffocating with his own laugh that doesn't let him breathe properly. It's weird, but the first thing that comes to Law's head is the thought that that is the most beautiful thing he has seen all week, and he can't stop himself from laughing too.

When they finally get out, the driver tells them goodbye like he knows them for years, laughing and waving at them as they exit the bus, only to disappear right after in a speed that sure exceeds the speed limit. It's the chilly breeze of the night that makes Law come out of the sort of trance he had fallen into, bringing him back to reality.

As he looks to Luffy, it's almost like he has felt the same thing, his grin gradually dissipating. In only a few seconds, it's like nothing had happened.

"Well, that sure was fun," Luffy says, and starts walking, not even bothering to check if Law's following him or not, and that makes Law grow angry, although it's not really that important. He decides then to fasten his pace until he has picked up with Luffy and doesn't say a word. He takes out one of his cigarettes and notices there are only a few left.

They walk for a few minutes in complete silence, one that Law doesn't like, and it's only interrupted when Luffy stops in the middle of the sidewalk, looking at a very dubious drug store, stating that he needs to go do some grocery shopping before going home. Law follows him once again and it's weird, because the first thing he thinks is that it's like Luffy is trying to make some time to not go home, because all he bought were a few things that were totally not essential and could've waited for another day, and he took a long time to do so, always acting as if Law was not there, behind or right beside him.

Law kept his mouth shut once again. In fact, it was only when he was waiting outside for Luffy to pay the few groceries he bought that he snapped, was only when the guy passed right past him like he wasn't even there, and it was only then that it finally hit him.

"I know what you're doing," Law says, catching up with Luffy once again and grabbing one of the two plastic bags he was carrying without much resistance.

Luffy looks at him and arches an eyebrow. "What do you mean with that?"

"This whole thing of you ignoring me,"' Law says, "I get it."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Law rolls his eyes. "Of course you don't. But, just to let you know, ignoring me and acting like I'm not here doesn't really make me go away."

He sees Luffy shaking his head from the corner of his eye and feels the tension between them disappear as fast as it started. "Yeah, I know."

The rest of the walk passes by smoothly, as they talk and joke around until they reach Luffy's building. The night is beautiful, the dark sky shining with all the city's lights, no stars to be found. The street is calm and deserted, as if they unconsciously left the city and entered some sort of abandoned area, only well kept. Law finds then that he likes this kind of neighborhood, quiet and peaceful, not like the one he currently lives in. It's close to the campus, yes, but at the same time it's also close to the bohemian part of the town and that means there are drunk people walking down the street and making a lot ton of noise almost every night.

Luffy doesn't let him call the elevator and makes him use the stairs, saying the thing is a human trap that has caught more people than what he can count on both hands, including himself. Law feels his tights burning with each step and wonders if it wouldn't be preferable to just get stuck inside of the damn elevator, even though Luffy lives in the first floor.

When they reach Luffy's floor, he hears Chopper bark and scratching the front door of Luffy's apartment and, once the door is opened, he comes outside in full speed and almost knocks them both down the stairs, even being such a small dog. He sees Luffy pick him up and let him lick his face while laughing loudly. Law approaches them and pets him behind his ears, his attention being so quickly redirected to him that Law has to grab him so he won't fall from Luffy's arms. "Traitor," he hears Luffy saying, although his voice sounds amused, and then walks further inside of his apartment, Law quickly following him with Chopper moving furiously on his arms.

As he enters, he sees Luffy going in the kitchen's direction, so he puts Chopper down so he can follow him. He closes the door behind him and notices how the apartment looks pretty much empty. The living room, once filled with Luffy and Ace's things, as well as some of the dog's toys laying around, has now only the couch and the tv, although some toys are still on the floor. There are cardboard boxes piled up against the wall behind him.  _Books_ ,  _photos_ ,  _things_ ,  _Ace's_   _stuff_  are just some of the labels he can read. Luffy's handwriting may as well be the worst he has ever seen, and he sees a lot of bad handwriting on his day to day basis, after all, he deals with a ton of soon to be doctors.

"Luffy-ya?" Law calls, heading to the kitchen and finding him sat on the counter looking at Chopper eating enthusiastically his food from his bowl. He waits until he looks in his direction with a curious expression on his face and then uses his thumb to point to the living room behind him. "What happened there?"

Luffy seems confused for a few seconds, blinking repeatedly as if wondering what Law may be referring to. Then his face brightens. "Haven't I tell you?" He asks and waits until Law responds with only a slight shake of head. "I'm moving."

It takes Law so out of guard that it takes him some time to process the information. He feels like he has been punched in the gut, and it must've have shown on his face because Luffy quickly explained how he's moving to another apartment closer to the Bell-mere's area, and not moving to another country or town. A smaller and cheaper one, since, according to him, he can't afford the one he's currently living in on his own.

"Plus, this is too much space just for me," he adds, shrugging his shoulders like it's not a piece of important information. "But the whole process is taking way longer than what I expected. I've been packing all my stuff for two weeks now, and when I finally finished it, I had to wait to take everything to the new place because Franky got late."

"Is Franky that creepy guy with the blue hair?" Law asks because he does remember one of Luffy's friends having that name, although he hasn't seen him more than a couple of times after the whole period Luffy was tied to a hospital bed. Luffy nods and seems surprised that Law actually knows who Franky is, although he doesn't say anything about that. It makes Law wonder if Luffy normally mentions his friends by name to people that don't even know they exist and expects them to either ask who the person is, or to just pretend they do know them. "Is it why you got late to work today?"

Luffy looks at him dead in the eye, clearly not liking where the conversation was heading, and nods again. "We kinda lost track on time."

"I see," Law mutters and decides to change the subject, not wanting them to fall under a weird ambiance once again. He has had enough of that. "Do, hum, do you still have your kitchen utensils here?"

"Don't tell me you want to cook dinner," Luffy says, jumping down the counter, his expression changing completely. He opens one of the lower cabinets and takes out a very old and very used skillet pan, pointing it at him. "And with that I mean please tell me you want to cook dinner."

"Yeah, I mean, I am no master chef, but I can sort something out," Law says, grabbing the skillet and putting it on top of the stove.

"It's not like I can complain. My culinary skills sure are worse," Luffy says, standing up but not minding closing the cabinet.

"You sure? I still remember those pancakes you've made."

"In my defense, Shachi ruined everything, they would've come out just alright if it wasn't for him," Luffy says, crossing his arms in front of his chest and pouting dramatically.

"If you say so," Law mutters, playfully, and opens the fridge, only to find it pretty much empty.  _Well shit_. "Your fridge is more depressing than mine. You just went grocery shopping, why didn't you buy actual things?"

Luffy shrugs, dismissively. "I didn't want to buy food until I moved for good to the new place. And since I don't really adventure myself too much into the kitchen, I thought it wouldn't be a problem," Luffy says, scratching the back of his neck and sounding embarrassed. "I wasn't quite expecting you to stay for dinner though."

"What were you going to eat then?"

Luffy shrugs in response. "Probably cereal, or some cookies I bought just now."

_Glad I stayed then_ , Law thinks. He takes a small packet of butter and a package of shredded cheese from the bottom of the fridge and wonders what the hell he can make out of that. "Do you have like, pasta or so?" He asks and watches as Luffy opens yet another cabinet and takes out a packet of fusilli.

"I also have canned tuna," Luffy says, grabbing three big and round cans. "Lots of it actually."

"That will do," Law says and opens the freezer, hoping there was something else forgotten that he would be able to use. He ends up finding a pack of frozen peas. "Okay, I'll need a pan to boil the pasta, some garlic, and milk or something similar, have any?" Law asks and waits for Luffy to take out from the cabinets everything he said, closing them all this time.

Law fills the pan with water, adding some salt in there, and then puts it in the stove until it starts to boil, adding the pasta right after. Meanwhile, he starts to mince the garlic and throws it to the skillet alongside with the butter. He can feel Luffy's eyes on him, watching every move, and that doesn't make him as uncomfortable as it should, him just there, sat again on top of the counter, just looking and without saying a word. Chopper has fallen asleep right next to his bowl and doesn't do much until he smells the food being made, then his tail starts to wiggle but, other than, he stays down. Law adds the peas and some salt and pepper, stirring until everything is well misled together, then, he adds the milk, continuing to stir and hopping all that mess is edible enough in the end.

"Can you see if the pasta is cooked already?" He asks Luffy and waits until he grabs a fork to take out a few pieces and shove them inside his mouth, burning his tongue in the process.

"Almost," he responds, getting closer and peeking to the skillet from underneath Law's arm. "Need help with anything there?"

"Yes," Law says, stepping aside and lending Luffy the wooden spoon. "My arm is getting tired. Just stir this while I drain the pasta."

"This smell so  _good_ ," Luffy says, his belly making a noise like it's alive and eating itself. Law wonders how he would just eat cereal while being that hungry.

It's only when Law is adding the pasta to the skillet that he notices how domestic the whole situation is, how well they just managed to create a proper meal with basically no ingredients. He throws the pan to the sink and stays admiring the food, Luffy involving the pasta with the rest of the ingredients in a way so tender for it not to fall off the edge of the skillet but still making a mess out of it. He notices how he grabs the wooden spoon firmly, how his movements just feel so fluid and natural, how he is showing all the skin of his arms without minding that Law can see everything. He notices how Luffy's face is all flushed, although he doesn't' know if that's due to the fact that he's in front of the stove of if he sure is feeling Laws gaze on him.

Law feels his neck and chest getting warmer and warmer, his palms being all sweaty. He doesn't remember feeling so aroused in a long time and it's that thought that makes him snap of out his trance. He decides to search for the cutlery and the plates for them to eat in an attempt to occupy his mind with something else.

They end up having dinner in the couch, as the dinner table and the chairs have are all already gone to the new place. They watch a movie that was already in the middle when Luffy turned on the tv, but Law barely pays attention to it. He wonders how Luffy's new place might look like. He already knows it's small and only has one division, but at the same time he feels like he needs more details, so he can only wonder the colors inside, the proportions, the shape of the windows, but he's sure it will look great once Luffy gets his things all set.

He ears Luffy eating beside him, sucking the food from his plate like a vacuum cleaner does with the dust. He mutters it tastes delicious and moans every once in a while and that only makes Law feel more and more glad to be there instead of being at home, although he's sure the weight of his backpack will soon enough be on his shoulders again, as he will not be able to stay at Luffy's place until too late. He suddenly loses all his appetite, remembering he has so many things that he's neglecting right now, but, surprisingly, he finds that he doesn't care about the amount of work he still needs to do, doesn't care if he needs to stay up the rest of the night to finish it all, so he eats the rest of his food with a smile on his face because there is no other place that he would rather be than there and if Luffy asks him to stay the night he knows he will stay without even minding the consequences of doing so.

"This is the best food I have eaten in days!" Luffy says enthusiastically, tapping his belly, and it makes Law wonder just how poorly is been eating then. He changes his position on the couch and sits cross-legged, turning his body to Law and looking at him with his eyes full of life. "In return, you can ask me whatever you want, and I'll answer."

"Anything?" Law asks, and Luffy nods, not breaking eye contact. He knows what he wants to ask, and Luffy does too, but at the same time, he decides against it. It would be too easy. "Can I see the bruises?" He asks instead, and watches as Luffy gets caught off guard, his forehead frowning slightly, but then nods, standing up and heading to the bathroom, coming out moments later with a handful of cotton discs and the other grabbing a bottle of make-up remover. He sits in the same position, but closer, his knees touching Law's right thigh.

"Yes," Luffy says, handing him the cotton and the bottle. "You can see them," he adds, and it takes Law some time to realize it's him that has to remove the makeup because Luffy has said he would answer anything, not  _do_.

He feels a shiver run down his spine as he spills some of the liquid to the cotton disc and starts removing the makeup off Luffy's neck, holding Luffy's chin upward with one hand and feeling as he leans against his hand, flinching every once in a while whenever Law presses the disc slightly harder against his skin, his Adam's apple moving every time he swallows. It takes a while, and a lot of cotton discs, but eventually it all comes out, leaving only purple and yellowish bruises and irritated skin behind. He looks at them from one point to another and feels relieved for the fact that, even though they still look awfully bad, they're healing.

Law notices then that in some places they have the form of fingers and realizes that Luffy didn't try to hang himself as he feared but, instead, he was shocked. He feels the anger build inside of him as he watches the way they go around the soft skin of Luffy's neck and wonders how someone could even think about squishing it with their bare hands to the point of doing that much damage. He realizes then how he has an enormous urge to kiss them, to lick them, to run his tongue across his soft skin and to just feel how it is like, to discover how it tastes, a it catches Law so by surprise that he almost doesn't register Luffy talking again.

"Why didn't you ask what happened instead?" Luffy asks, his voice low and rough, him being so close that his hot breath hits Law's face tenderly.

"I told you," Law responds, and his voice sounds so weird and desperate that it's embarrassing. "You'll tell me when you want to. I just wanted to make sure they were not too serious."

After a few moment of silence, Luffy asks, "why are you like that?" and, before Law has time to ask what he meant by that, something in his face changes, something that Law only noticed once Luffy was on top of him, his body hot and heavy, their faces only a few inches apart, the bottle of make-up remover getting knocked down on his side, leaking and soaking his jeans.

He moved so quickly that Law didn't even have time to react, and then it was too late. His limbs felt like jelly, his heart was pounding painfully against his ribcage like it was about to explode. The only thing he managed to do was to bring his arms up to push him out, to push him away, but they just fell onto Luffy's tights and stayed there, him not having the strength to do more than grabbing him firmly in place on his lap.

He felt his breathing getting shaky, uneven, without him being able to control and, by the time his brain managed to process all the information, their noses where already touching and a wave of terror rushed through him, but he only managed to move his head slightly to the side and muttered a faint "I can't" that didn't even convince himself.

"You only can't if you don't want to," Luffy says, so close, so low, his voice sounding so rough and just so appetizing, almost as if the distance was killing him too.

"What if I don't," Law says, trying his best to not look away from Luffy's gaze because he knows if he looked anywhere other than there he would be condemned.

"Then I would call you a liar," Luffy says, moving, his hands cupping Law's face while his lips traced slightly the contours of his face, barely touching but leaving a warm feeling behind, from his cheekbone, to his ear, to his forehead. "Because I've seen the way you look at me," he brings his face down, until he has it buried against Law's neck, inhaling deeply his scent, making Law catch a breath and shiver, his heart pounding so loudly on his ribcage that he's sure Luffy's able to hear it too.

He takes one of his hands down until it finds one of Law's, squeezing it hard. "Because I can't feel the way you grab me," he murmurs on Law's ear, sitting more comfortably on Law's lap and rocking his hips just slightly, making Law moan and feel dizzy, his brain suddenly going blank, stopping to function how it should.

Luffy keeps the other hand placed on Law's face, preventing him from looking away, his thumb tracing his lower lip, opening his mouth just slightly. "But I'm not doing anything until you tell me to," he says, biting his own lip while breaking eye contact and looking down at Law's mouth, wanting it as much as Law wanted his.

"I don't want to," Law repeats, and it's clear how it's not true, he just wanted to see Luffy's expression after being caught off guard, an act of small revenge.

He grabs his thighs harder when Luffy tries to get out then, embarrassed, and moves his face forward until their lips clash together, harshly, clumsily. It's the messiest and most desperate kiss Law has ever received and given to someone, both of them trying to dominate the other while simultaneously trying to breathe in between. It's brutal and it makes Law's chest burn from the inside out, his lips not moving fast enough when Luffy angles his face and deepens the kiss, grabbing Law's face in place.

Law wants to grab Luffy by his hair then, to make him arch back until his neck is exposed and he can dig in, tucking in his scent and feeling its soft skin between his lips, between his teeth, making him shiver and moan like he just did to Law. But he decides against it,  _not today_  he thinks. So he just keeps kissing him, sucking on his bottom lip, biting it, exploring with his tongue Luffy's mouth until he's panting and moaning against his own mouth, sitting on his lap harder, rocking his hip against him.

And then it's all over, too fast, too soon. Law feels his underwear sticky against his skin and suddenly all of his excitement and need get washed away, being overlapped by confusion and perplexity over the situation. He feels angry, powerless, overwhelmed.

"You okay?" He hears Luffy asking, his voice so rough and breathing heavily against his face, and it's the last thing Law registers before he shoves him to the couch, not roughly, not aggressively, but at the same time not at all in the way he wanted to.

He doesn't look at Luffy's face until he has his backpack on his hand and he's in front of the door, ready to leave. He hesitates, his hand already on the doorknob, and looks back, seeing Luffy still in the same position, and it's the worst decision he has made that day. The look of sadness and misery splashed across Luffy's face killed him inside then, but Law only thought really about that once he was far away down the street, with the wind pushing his clothes against his sweaty body and an uncomfortable buldge inside of his pants that make it hard to walk properly.

It's only when he tries to search for his phone to call a rode home that he realizes he has forgotten it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that it's okay to feel sad. Keep trying your best. You're still alive and that's already a big accomplishment.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there^^
> 
> This Chapter wasn't actually supposed to end the way it ended but it was getting too long so I decided to cut it and leave the rest for the next one. I hope you guys don't mind and won't get too angry at me once you read everything hehe.
> 
> Either way, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it^^

He doesn't sleep that night. He can't even bring himself to go to his bedroom, lay on his bed and close his eyes. He would be condemned if he did that, he knows he would. He wouldn't be able to stop Luffy's face from appearing on his memory, to remember the feeling of his lips and his hot tongue against his own. So, instead, he takes a long shower, staying there way past the time the water started running cold, and then stays on the safety of his living room, sat at the table with his computer in front of him and surrounded by books and scribbled sheets. He tries to focus on that but it's hard, so hard that he only wants to throw everything out of the window, but he ends up finishing two assignments that were due to the end of the week and writing a few resumes for the upcoming exam before the sun even started to rise.

His head hurts and his eyelids are heavy by the time he needs to dress up and go to his morning classes, but he has taken so many coffees during the night that he can feel his heart beating at an abnormal rate. It's like he was run over by a few trucks. His neck is tense and it's hard to move his head around, his ass and legs are beyond numb and his fingers probably gained a few more calluses due to how much he has written in the past few hours. It doesn't matter if he has a computer in front of him, Law always prefers to write things down by hand, it makes them stay inside his brain for far longer and he doesn't make as many misspellings as a five-year-old.

As he rises from his chair, he's suddenly aware of his own weight, as if his legs are no longer strong enough to support him, even though he has lost a few pounds in the past few months. He doesn't want to go to his classes, knows he won't be able to pay much attention to what the professors will say, but he also knows that, if he continues not going, he may as well quit his degree. He doesn't want to see other people, or to let other people see him, especially his friends. They'll make questions, questions that Law won't be able to respond, and he wished it was because he didn't want to and not because he doesn't have enough skills to turn what he's feeling into words, especially feelings that he can't quite understand himself.

But he also doesn't want to be alone with his own thoughts anymore, so he uses all his remaining energy to dress up and pack everything he needs inside of his backpack and, with luck, he'll have a study session in the afternoon with his friends and won't have much time all by himself. Last night, while walking all the way from Luffy's apartment to his own, he considered going to Shachi's place instead, wanting company and reassurance, like a scared child that runs to his mother. However, after looking at his own reflection while passing by a few closed shops, he quickly decided against it. His appearance was so bad that Shachi would just make him blurt everything out, fill him up with questions, which is comprehensible really, but not at all what he needed at the time. So he went to his own place, grateful he didn't forget his keys like he did with his phone at Luffy's, and then punched everything he could after getting out of the shower, cold water still dripping from his hair. He had to fight the urge to punch his reflection on his bathroom's mirror, to break his knuckles against the glass, to get all messy and bloody, mostly because the clinical part of his brain was working properly and prevented him from acting in a way that he would regret greatly right after. He punched his couch cushions instead, along with all the pillows he laid an eye on, and didn't stop until his energy had run out, until exhaustion overcame his anger and frustration, until he had to stop to catch his breath and just collapsed right there on the floor, surrounded by ruined pillows and their white and fluffy filling.

Law shakes his head as he walks down the stairs, trying to erase the past few days from his memory. He gets to the campus as if he's in pilot mode, without paying much attention to his surroundings, already knowing the way too well to be able to do it with his eyes closed. He bumps into a few people, and some swear at him, call him a few names, but he doesn't mind, he couldn't care less if they all just collapsed dead on the ground right there by his feet.

He gets to his first class only a few minutes late, and the professor doesn't glare at him too much. He spots Shachi and Penguin quite easily in the middle row seats, having one available right next to them, so he tries to get there without interrupting the class more than what he needs to.

Shachi takes one good and long look at him as soon as Law sits next to him, his eyes narrowing. "What the hell happened to you? You look like shit, dude," he then blurts out, loudly and sounding preoccupied. "Have you even been sleeping?"

"We'll talk after this," he tells him, taking what he needs from his backpack, his arms and hands too sore to even do that properly.

"You bet we will," Shachi says, looking worried. Law responds with a  _shhh_ , putting his index finger in front of his mouth and then tries his best to smirk at him, for the look on his face to go away, although he's sure he has failed miserably.

Law turns his eyes to the professor and manages to stay focused and taking notes during a great part of the class, until his eyelids started to get too heavy to ignore, until his handwriting couldn't keep up with the words leaving the professor's mouth, no matter how many abbreviations he used. Eventually, the weight of his own head was too much for his neck to handle and he had to support it on both of his hands. He felt Shachi poking him every once in a while, making him open his eyes whenever he had them closed for more than a few seconds. It was annoying, but comprehensible.

Adjusting his position, he tried to sit up straight, crossing his arms in front of his chest and leaning back on the chair. He hoped that this way he could've at least pretend to be paying attention, but having a more open line of sight only helped his mind wander off even more. He wished he had his phone with him, at least he could do something to keep his mind occupied with by searching random shit on the internet, but no, fucking no. He doesn't have that much luck.

Law wonders how he will get his phone back. Obviously, he could just go directly to Luffy and ask for it, but he's not sure if he's ready to face him just yet, not after what happened. He wished he hadn't left Luffy's place like he did, so cowardly, but everything happened so fast that he didn't know how he should've reacted, his mind just went blank and all he could think of was to escape, to get away, to breath fresh air and to come back to his senses. He didn't want to push Luffy, didn't want to react that way, but he did, and there's nothing he can do now to change that.

At the time, he wasn't even thinking about the fact that Luffy's a guy, or the fact that he wanted him so badly it made his insides itch and burn. He couldn't care less about that, all he cared was how overwhelmed he was feeling, how vulnerable, how confused. He felt like fainting more times than what he can count while running down the stairs. His legs were numb and it was like he was a toddler that had just learned how to start walking on his own. He wanted to scream, to punch someone, but he also wanted to go back, to kiss the expression he caused out of Luffy's face, to have him pinned down on the couch underneath him.

"You're zoning out," he hears Shachi mumble next to him. "You okay there? Need to go catch some air or something?"

"I'm fine just- are you gonna work today?" Law asks, low, turning his head in Shachi's direction, that takes a while to respond, looking at him puzzled, but then nods. "Lend me your phone then."

Shachi doesn't say anything while taking his phone out of his pocket, and doesn't say anything while handing it to him either, but he keeps his eyes on him, as if trying to get some kind of answer from Law's face. He gets closer and keeps looking sideways to his phone, now on Law's hand, but never says a word, which Law doesn't know if it's a good or a bad thing, but he decides to not complain.

He opens the contacts list and searches for Luffy, but he should've known better, Shachi always puts some sort of nickname or a name based on an internal joke, never the real one, but  _Mugiwara_  sounds just as good as Luffy does. Law keeps staring at the phone's screen for quite some time, wondering the best words to use without sounding too rude and cold-hearted, but then he decides it doesn't really matter, after all, he was never known for his texting skills.

**Just give my phone to Shachi later. Law.**  He just sends without much of a second thought, but he kind of regrets it right after, although he doesn't know which better words he could've used.

He puts the phone on top of his table, turning it's face down instead of handing it to Shachi. It was more of an unconscious move than a thought-through one, more like a force of habit. He tells himself he's not waiting for a response, there's nothing that needs to be responded to that, and yet he catches himself glancing in the phone's direction more times than not, his tiredness suddenly going away as if it was never there. He feels his blood pumping with excitement the moment he hears the phone buzzing and he quickly picks it up and frowns with what he sees, but then the phone buzzes again while still in his hands.

**No** , received at 10:32 AM.

**We need to talk** , received at 10:33 AM.

**And dont you dare say theres nothing to talk about** , received at 10:33 AM.

Law scratches the back of his neck, feeling his nails burning his skin while looking down at the phone, putting it to rest on his thigh. He's aware Shachi's looking at it too, but he decides to not say anything, it's not like it matters anymore.

**I won** **t. Tell me when and where** , he ends up sending and, this time, he doesn't put the phone away while waiting for a response. Instead, he keeps it on top of his thigh and hidden underneath the table, checking it more times than what he wants to admit, although he has to hand it to Shachi a couple of times for him to check his annoying notifications.

By the time the class ends, Law's impatient and annoyed. Luffy ended up not saying anything else and Shachi grabbed his phone back, stating he would tell him if he texted a response. Law doesn't like it, the whole situation makes him anxious and he can't stop his brain from wandering off, thinking about the worst possible case scenarios, but he doesn't complain.

"So, talk," Shachi says beside him, his voice still low even though they're already outside with Penguin and Jean joking around just a bit further ahead of them.

Law looks at him and smirks. They're walking down the campus, moving from one building to the other to go to their next class. "I doubt we'll have time for that, we'll talk at lunch," Law says, and is surprised when Shachi just stops walking altogether. Penguin and Jean keep walking, unaware of both of them staying more and more behind.

"Let's just skip class then," Shachi says, putting his hands on his hips and sounding demanding.

"Don't be ridiculous we-"

"I'm not being ridiculous. You don't see how fucked up you look, I do, and I'm dying with curiosity," Shachi says, almost acting like a maniac. "We can go to my place. I'm sure Jean will let us take some copies of his notes from the damn class. And there we'll talk, calmly and comfortably, with some food and maybe some weed because you sure look like you need it. What do you say?"

Law wants to laugh, out loud and right on his face. If only Shachi could imagine the amount of will power it took for him to come to the first class when all he wanted was to take some pills to be able to sleep peacefully and like a rock for the rest of the day, to clear his head from everything, to finally have some rest. But no, he decided to go to his classes, to try and get a grip of his academic life again and, of course, Shachi comes and tries to steal that away from him. He's not the one on the line right now for fuck's sake, Law is.

But, at the same time, Shachi's offer sounds so appealing that Law can't bring himself to say no. He wants to tell Shachi everything, to let him laugh right at his face for how stupid he is, to let him lecture him about how he should've done things, tell him how he should act next, how to approach Luffy, how to express what he's feeling. So he waits for Shachi to jog towards Jean and Penguin, waits for him to explain to them that they're going to his place and skip the next class, and then waits for him a bit more as he does his way back to where Law's standing, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Shachi puts his arm around his shoulders and makes him turn around awkwardly even though he's shorter than him, talking loudly about how bad he wants to know what's messing with Law's head so much, but Law still notices both Jean and Penguin looking at them with confused yet worried faces before being forced to turn around.

They make their way towards Shachi's car, parked in a parking lot not too far away from their position. They pass by a few of their classmates walking in the opposite direction and Shachi nods and signals with his hand to all of them but other than that, they walk unbothered. Shachi keeps the conversation light, commenting on something that he didn't understand in class but didn't bother asking the professor to explain again, as it's commonly known that she doesn't like having her speech interrupted to have to explain the same thing twice. Law's surprised when he realizes he understood the matter and feels pleased with himself when he's able to explain to Shachi the part he didn't get, feels pleased with the fact that going to class wasn't a complete waste of time.

They talk about a bunch of unimportant things once in the car, as if Shachi's still trying to figure out how to approach the subject he really wants to know about which, to be honest, he doesn't need to, he could just ask. Law doesn't say anything about that though and, instead, he occupies his mind with trying to organize his thoughts, to try and make some sense out of them to then be able to explain everything later. But he just can't, it's all so confusing that he doesn't even know where to start lining the dots.

He's still thinking about that when they reach Shachi's building and he gets more and more frustrated as they approach Shachi's front door. He enters after Shachi does and goes sit on the couch. Shachi heads to the kitchen first and, when he's back, he brings two large packs of cookies and an ashtray with him, putting them on top of the small round table right in front of Law. He watches as Shachi first opens the pack of chocolate crisp cookies and then the shortbread ones, displaying and offering them with a hand movement. He then goes sit on the armchair that Law still considers the ugliest one he has ever seen but that Shachi insists on keeping and actually using it.

"Okay, let's start then," Shachi says, folding his legs underneath him, his arms resting on top of his knees. He takes a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket's pocket, taking one out and offering Law another that, even though he has his own somewhere inside of his backpack, still accepts, waiting for Shachi to use the lighter before using it too.

"I don't even know where to start," Law mutters and then lets out of his mouth a big cloud of smoke, watching as it disappears in the air and feeling the nicotine entering his system.

"I would say to start for the beginning," Shachi says, mockingly, "but, since it's you, why don't you just go straight to the point and then explain the details."

Law snorts and then clears his throat, trying to choose the right words. "Okay, so, yesterday I ended up returning to Bell-mere's after our study session was over," he says and looks at Shachi just to see his reaction. His brows had frowned but, other than that, he didn't seem too surprised. "Long story short, I made dinner and Luffy kissed me. Or I kissed him, I don't even know anymore."

He glares at Shachi when the guy whistles, grinning, not caring at all about Law's misery and making him wonder why he thought talking to him was a good idea at all. He smashes the rest of his cigar inside of the ashtray after finishing it and contemplates the idea of smoking another one, but he ends up taking one cookie instead, feeling the chocolate chips melt inside of his mouth.

"And so that's it?" Shachi asks and Law wants to punch him, then grabs his things and leave. "I think that's great!"

Law looks at him for a few seconds, perplexed with his stupidity. "No, Shachi," he then grunts, "It's not great, it's the whole goddamn problem!"

"But why though?" Shachi asks, looking at him funny, his head tilted to the side, "didn't you like it?"

"That's not the fucking point!" Law almost yells at him, "it shouldn't have happened! But he climbed on me and was just so close and-"

"So, you wanted it?" Shachi interrupts him, leaning forward and making Law fall backwards onto the couch in frustration. He has to close his eyes shut with his fists and count to ten. "Look, I understand your situation, but it appears to me that you're not freaking out with the kiss itself."

"Then what am I freaking out with, huh?" Law asks, angry, moving his hands furiously with each word. "Please, fucking enlighten me!"

"How I am supposed to know that? You tell me," Shachi says and Law groans in response, annoyed and confused, feeling a headache growing inside of his head. He enlaces his fingers on top of his head, a few hairs getting in between them. Only then he notices his hat has fallen off and onto the floor, but he doesn't have enough strength to grab it and place it on top of the table.

Law stays in silence for a few seconds, looking at the ceiling but without paying much attention to it. "You're not helping at all," he then mutters, moving his head slightly to look at Shachi, that remained in the same position, waiting.

"It's not my fault that what I have to say is not what you want to hear."

"I know, it's just-" Law stops, thinking about how he should use his words and Shachi stays quiet too then, leaning back on his armchair, waiting without pushing.

Law hates not being able to express what he's feeling accurately, hates not being able to understand his emotions properly, so he tells Shachi to keep his mouth shut and to listen to what he has to say as he tries his best to form coherent phrases. He tries to explain how overwhelmed he felt when Luffy was seating on his lap, how bad he felt and how his heart tightened when he saw Luffy's expression after he pushed him out. Tries to explain the thoughts that ran through his head while he was leaving, how he wanted to go back and just stay at Luffy's place but got scared of doing so. Tries to explain how he doesn't know what's happening to him anymore, how differently and in an angrier way he's been acting lately, how he just wants to quit it all, Luffy included, but, in the end, he doesn't have the guts to do so.

"I've never felt like this," Law confesses, low, and it's more like he's talking to himself than at Shachi, "I know it sounds cliché, but it's true. I've never been this clueless."

Law stops for another while, feeling stupid and childish, it's almost as if saying things out loud made them lose importance. He raises his head and slides one arm underneath it, putting himself in a more comfortable position while waiting for a sarcastic comment. But Shachi's doesn't say anything and, when Law looks at him, he notices how his face has changed, how it's more serious now, his brows slightly frowned. Then Law watches as he just stands and heads to his bedroom, leaving him all alone with his thoughts for a few seconds. When he's back, he brings a small plastic bag on his hand and, from there, he takes two joints, handing one to Law before going to sit again on his armchair with the other one, placing the plastic bag on top of the table.

He remembers then their first year, how messy and confusing things were too, although in a different way. He remembers how he smoked so much weed that, to this day, he still doesn't know how he managed to keep some of his saving. He remembers how on the second year he managed to stop consuming, at first just reducing the amount he smoked and then stopping completely. Remembers how hard it was to see Penguin and Shachi continue and how hard it was to refuse when they offered him a joint every once in a while if they had plenty of them at the time. And yet here he is, accepting without thinking twice because God, he deserves it, deserves it so much.

They stay quiet for a while, taking the few first puffs, Law using the lighter first this time, then throwing it to Shachi that barely even catches it. He feels his body relax and his mind wander.

"Is it because he's a guy?" Shachi then asks and Law's not sure how to respond.

"I guess," he ends up saying, but it's not entirely true, not anymore. Law's problem is deeper than that, it's more like he's afraid of what will happen if anything does happen between them because he doesn't feel rational around Luffy, he messes with his senses with such intensity that even his brain doesn't have a clue of what to do.

"Why don't you just, you know, try it out. You're in college, you're supposed to try new things that make you enjoy life, not suppress and bury them deep inside your brain."

"It's not as simple as that. He's the first guy I-" Law says, motioning with his hand vaguely, hopping Shachi will understand without him having to say it out loud.

Shachi sighs, looking thoughtful for a moment, his eyes closed and letting out one big puff of smoke from his mouth. "My best advice is for you two to just talk, and make sure you don't let anything to say. Like, be honest with him, tell him you've never thought you would want to bang a guy but apparently you do, and you don't know what to do with that information. He's a cool guy, I'm sure he'll understand as long as you explain yourself."

Law smiles then, he wished things were that easy, but they never are, he's not that lucky. "The thing is, I don't know if I'm attracted to him, or if I'm attracted to his situation. It's like I'm drawn to him, I don't fucking know how to explain."

"With the situation you mean, his brother dying and him cutting himself?" Shachi asks, leaning forward with interest, and it takes Law so out of guard that he has to rise hp and have a proper look to him, supporting himself on his forearms.

"How do you know  _that_?"

Shachi looks at him weird then, a brow slightly arched at him, "what?" He asks, putting out his half-smoked joint and setting it on the edge of the ashtray. "About his cuts? Law, c'mon, I'm stupid but I'm not  _that_  stupid. Him always using his cardigan makes it obvious, plus I already saw a few of them when he thought I wasn't looking."

Law lets Shachi's word sink in, feeling stupid, so stupid. He lets himself fall back and stretches his arm to put the rest of his joint next to Shachi's, losing all the appetite he had for it and not feeling much effect due to its low quality. If Shachi knows then so does Nami and, if she knows, then so does everyone else. It's no longer his and Luffy's secret anymore, it never was, and Law feels useless all over again with that realization, even though the promise wasn't even put to practice as Luffy never once called or texted about needing any help or any distraction. "Why didn't you told me?

"I thought everyone already knew, and it's not like it's any of my business," Shachi says, shrugging, his voice low and drawled.

"I saw them too, after Penguin's party. He made me promise to not tell anyone, little did he know how fucking useless that was," he says and feels his heart-clenching, the feeling of pity for Luffy growing inside of him even though he tries to fight it back, Luffy's doesn't need his pity. It's like Luffy is the lead actor on a movie he doesn't even know he's in and it's so wrong that Law doesn't even know what he's supposed to think or do aside from being angry at Shachi and at Luffy's friends because they all know and they don't do shit about it, and yeah, sure, maybe they think giving him space is the best thing they can do, or maybe they just don't know how to approach the subject but, either way, they're all fucking cowards.

"It is what it is," he hears Shachi saying, taking a few seconds to look at him before standing and going to the kitchen.

Law lets himself stay laid down on the couch for a couple of minutes, looking absently at the wood ceiling while trying to control his mind.  _And so what if everyone already knows_ , he thinks,  _Luffy doesn't need to know about that so damn them all, them and their secrecy and everything they're doing wrong_. He just hopes he's the one Luffy calls if needed because at least he knows how to keep secrets and respect boundaries.

"It is what it is," he repeats while raising, feeling his head spinning, and heads to the kitchen as well where Shachi is already trying to figure out lunch, cutting meat in strips before throwing them inside of a big frying pan, along with a few peeled tomatoes and a lot of condiments. Law stays leaning to the fridge, trying his best to not knock any magnet down and stepping aside every time Shachi needs any ingredient from inside. He ends up not doing much, just helping with the pasta, which basically consisted in filling a pan full of water and throwing salt inside, then waiting for it to start to boil so he could add the pasta. It was not the most challenging work, and he already repeated that process a few too many times over his life, but at least he felt like he was contributing for something rather than just being a watcher.

They ended up eating the mixture that resulted from also throwing the cooked pasta inside the frying pan. It lacked salt and had an acid taste because Shachi was supposed to let the tomatoes cook properly and only then add the meat other than just put everything at the same time inside the frying pan, but they ate it all like two starving men either way, joking around and making a mess.

"Bringing back the whole Luffy thing, just try not to get too obsessive with him," Shachi says, his mouth full and with his fork waving around with each word. "You do that sometimes and it's not healthy, nor for you or him."

"I don't get obsessed," Law mutters, swallowing hard his food, to which Shachi responds by giving him one pointed look with an arched eyebrow. And it's true, he doesn't get obsessed, only overly concerned about a few rare things.

"If you say so, I'm not even going to mention 'your spot' thing at Bell-mere's then. Just try to keep in mind that you can't cure everything and that you should take care of yourself too," Shachi says, using a tone of voice so paternalistic that it annoys him, but Law knows he has the best of intentions, worrying about him, and its comprehensible considering just how shitty Law looks.

After that they don't take long to finish eating and, as Shachi starts to pack everything to leave, stating that he will let Law at his apartment on the way to Bell-mere's, he realizes Luffy still hasn't said anything else and, without Shachi's phone around, he isn't able to contact him. So he tells Shachi to tell Luffy to meet him in the park, without specifying each one because he doesn't really know where exactly it is located and it's not like there is another he could be referring to. "He knows each one," he tells Shachi, receiving a confused look in response.

.

.

.

Law let's his feet brush the ground underneath him with each swing he takes, the whole structure creaking with his weight. There are a few people around him, mostly families with their babies stuffed inside of their trolleys and people jogging with their dogs close to their legs. He feels his mind wander, his body light and he wonders if that shitty ass weed really did have any effect on him other than giving him the impression of time taking longer to pass, although he doesn't feel as relaxed as he should be. He stays there for a long while, hearing a bunch of stupid kids laugh loudly and scream every once in a while, running and playing at a game that Law can't quite understand no matter how much he tries to. Sometimes they seem to be playing hide and seek, others that they want to catch each other but they also have some rules that Law doesn't understand and, along with the fact that they throw a tantrum more often than not, calling their friends cheaters and going to tell their mothers that were not far and vigorously speaking at each other about the newest gossip, it's hard for Law to understand what the hell is going on.

_Luffy's taking too damn long_ , he thinks, looking absently at the blue sky, a few white spots here and there, but he doesn't even know the time _,_ he lost track on it the moment he left Shachi's apartment and started walking in the direction he hoped was the right one to the park. He doesn't know how long it took him to get from point A to point B, after all, not owning a proper watch because it's fucking pointless nowadays and not having a phone available really does mess with people when it comes to the perception of time passing by. It may seem like hours have passed by, especially if one's waiting and doesn't have anything to do aside from looking at stupid children playing, when, in reality, it has only been mere twenty minutes or so. However, judging by the sunlight and pretending that he knows what that means, Law guesses it should be around four or half-past four in the afternoon.

He wonders if something has happened. If his guess is right, Luffy should've already been there next to him on the swings, since Shachi's shift started at three in the afternoon and supposedly Luffy's ended then. He wonders if there where many customers and Luffy decided to stay a bit longer to help Shachi out instead of leaving right away, wonders if maybe he went to his own apartment first to get Chopper and walk him, or if maybe both things happened. Wonders if maybe Luffy wasn't available and had already other plans but didn't have a way to warn Law about the fact he wouldn't be able to meet him, since he's probably occupied with the moving out. Wonders if he made the right choice to just come here and wait for him instead of going to Bell-mere's with Shachi and talk to him there, sat on his corner and drinking coffee, or if maybe he should've gone to his apartment instead by the end of the day, hoping he would be there.  _No_ , he thinks,  _those wouldn't be better choices at all_. While on one hand, Luffy's apartment would be too much for Law to handle right now, Bell-mere's, on the other, would be too full of people, too loud, too impersonal, to not mention the fact that Shachi would also be there, spying on them and trying to snoop on their conversation. So that damn park, although his decision was made on the spot and not really thought through, just seemed the best place for them to talk calmly about things, and it seems an even better place now that he has time to analyze his situation. And the longer Luffy takes to get there, the more Law starts to overthink and get anxious, and it's not helping at all.

He tries then to make a mental list of the things he wants to say to Luffy but, just like before, it's hard for him to organize his thoughts coherently. He wants to tell him that he's not gay and not attracted to men, or at least never was, even though if he searched deep down on his memories he would find some evidence on the contrary. Wants to tell him that he's not looking for a relationship any time soon, that he has no patience or time for that right now, when in reality he's just not really that good at those because he finds most people boring and dull, either right away or a few time after knowing them. Wants to tell him that he doesn't know what he has so special about him that makes him so appealing and Law so overwhelmed. Wants to tell him that he has no clue of what's happening, that he didn't want to push him the other night, didn't want to react that way and have run away like that, didn't want to leave him without saying anything because Law's not that kind of person. He has always faced his problems right away and without really measuring his actions, but now something has changed and he doesn't know what and how to adjust properly to his new situation. Wants to tell him just how bad he messes with him, how his smiles make his insides twitch and itch, how he feels his chest burning from the inside out if he's too close, how he can't think over the noise of his own heartbeat, but, most importantly, he wants to tell him how badly he wants to rip his clothes off, how badly he wants to feel his mouth against his own one more time, to be able to explore it more, how badly he wants to pin him against some surface, to make him pant against his ear and scream his name, how badly he wants to bite his neck and feel the hot and smooth skin in between his teeth. Wants to tell him just how badly he wants all of him that he feels his blood rushing through his veins just with the thought of it.

Law needs to get up then, stretch his legs and clean his mind, needs to remember himself about the fact that he's still in a park full of children and mothers that he's sure can read his mind due to how weirdly they all look at him while he passes by them. He has no time to let his mind wander, but that's all it knows how to do nowadays. He has to think things straight and yet he can't, Luffy will be there at any minute now and Law's even in a worse state than he was before.

He had decided on his way to the park that he would tell Luffy he didn't want anything more than what they already had, a somewhat friendship based on mutual respect and with a twist that involved Law's clinical eye and Luffy's need to hurt himself, although that part still hasn't happened yet and, if everything goes on well, will not even happen. Now though, the more he thinks of it, the more he realizes that he's not going to be able to tell such a lie right at Luffy's face, the more he realizes he doesn't want things to stay the same, although he doesn't really know if he's ready for their relationship to evolve or how things would change from there.

He has dated women and has fucked women, never men, they were never involved. The kissing is basically the same, more brutal and harsher maybe, if Luffy's kiss is anything to go by, but he has made out with some wild women before so that's not really new. The sex part, however, is way different, and maybe that's what's scaring him the most, not knowing what to do properly, like he's a virgin all over again and needs to be taught. Sure, he could just search random gay porn on the internet, filling his slow computer with yet more viruses that could delete everything important for the sake of his degree that's saved on it, but, truth is, Law was never really a porn kind of person. Of course, he has had his moments during his early teenage years, but, even then, everything just felt so faked and so forced and not at all well developed that he didn't really enjoy watching it that much. Plus, learning how to properly do sex by watching porn is the equivalent of learning how to drive by watching a Fast and Furious movie.

Law sighs then, looking up at the sky again and wondering how much time really has passed. He doesn't know what to do now, where to go. As he looks back, the swing he was using is already occupied by a kid and he doesn't know the park that well to start walking around so he goes and sits under a nearby tree, close enough to the path for him to be able to see the people passing by and for Luffy to see him. He closes his eyes after his eyelids get too heavy for him to handle and lets his head fall back, leaning against the rough tree trunk behind him. He feels the weight of his body coming back, the grass tickling his skin through his clothes, feels the breeze pass through all the trees in the park and hit his face softly. He feels the sleepiness taking over him, feels how he starts to fall asleep without having enough force to stop himself and open his eyes. He wishes he was at his own apartment then, on his own bed or couch, it wouldn't matter really, he just wanted something more comfortable than wood and a dirt ground.

But it's all over too soon when he suddenly wakes up with something licking his face furiously and, when he opens his eyes, he's not that surprised to see Chopper's face in front of him, his tongue dangling out of his mouth and his front paws pressed against Law's chest, making him stand tall on his lap. Law pets him behind his ears and underneath his collar with both of his hands, Chopper melting underneath his palms, his tail wiggling furiously. He's still feeling his eyelids heavy and a headache is forming from the back of his head, but even so he can't prevent a smile from taking form on his mouth.

"What took you so long, uh?" Law mutters to Chopper that just barks at him in response before getting off of his lap and trotting away.

As Law follows Chopper with his eyes, he notices Luffy standing awkwardly on the path in front of him, holding Chopper's leash on one hand and grabbing the strap of his backpack with the other. He's wearing his straw hat on top of his head, the edges swinging softly with the breeze, just like his red cardigan that dangles open. There's a frown on his face, and it only grows deeper as Law stands and heads towards him and, if Law had managed to organize all the things he wanted to say to him, that expression alone would be enough to turn his mind into a confusing mess all over again. However, since he clearly didn't, it only makes his mind go blank and, as he gets closer and closer to Luffy, standing tall in front of him, he can't bring himself to form proper phrases and it's awkward, so awkward that Law wishes he could just reset their meeting altogether.

"Okay, so first of all," Law starts and watches as Luffy crosses his arms in front of his chest, unimpressed, Chopper disappearing to go play with other dogs, "I want to apologize for-"

"I know what you're gonna say and I don't care about any of that," he cuts him then, bringing one hand up and sounding annoyed. "Shachi has already told me. You're sorry to have pushed me, okay, apology accepted. You're confused about everything, okay, I get it. I'm a guy and that complicates things, no shit. But those are things you need to figure out on your own, and then you tell me."

Law hears Luffy blunt everything out in silence, feeling the anger growing inside of him. Shachi has told Luffy, from all people, what Law has trusted him as a secret, a confession not meant to be known by anyone else, and, even though he seems to have kept his mouth shut about some parts, it still makes Law feel betrayed and he must have shown just that on his face because Luffy then softens his expression, looking conflicted as to whether or not his approach was the best one. He forces himself to calm down, it's not Luffy's fault that Law has a stupid-ass idiot as his best friend, and he shouldn't be the one arching with the results, so he sighs and nods at him in understanding.

"Look," he says, clearing his throat and looking away, searching for Chopper and finding him not too far away, "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, but I want to let you know that I don't regret anything. So, honestly, I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't start avoiding me or pretend nothing happened, I don't need apologies or explanations."

Law sometimes forgets things with Luffy play a lot different than what they do with other people. Sometimes forgets that, with him, things are way simpler as he tends to see the world with a straight forward approach, and that makes Law smile down at him. He stressed for nothing and all the things he wanted to tell him suddenly feel dull, Luffy doesn't care about them because that's how he is, he just wanted to make sure Law would still be there for him despite what happened, not the mess it ended up provoking inside of Law's head or the questions he lifted and that is so refreshing that Law isn't able to express it in words, it just felt like a few hundred pounds fell off his shoulders then and all the awkwardness went away.

"Still," Law mutters, "I shouldn't have pushed you and leave like that. I guess I just panicked."

"Yeah, you shouldn't, but what's done it's done. Now, here, have your phone back," he says, taking it from inside of his backpack and handing it to him. "I didn't have a charger that fit," he then adds when Law tries to turn it on only to find it dead to the world like the useless thing it is and it makes Law wonder if the process of having it back was really that necessary.

They end up not staying for much longer there at the park, Luffy stating that he needed to get some things done without specifying which and Law doesn't bother asking, after all if he wanted Law's help he would've said, meaning it was something he wanted to do alone, or with another person other than him. It's only when they get out of the park and reach the point where they should separate paths that Luffy tells him he has moved for good to his new apartment early in the morning and that now he needs to make the place livable and homie enough, talking the whole time with such a soft smile on his face that Law can't help but feel proud of him for being brave enough to start to move on with his life.

They spend the walk talking about random things that don't lead to any deep conversations but that are good to spend the time and to know random facts about each other that, otherwise, wouldn't even deserve to be mentioned and Law finds himself wishing they had walked more slowly than what they did when Luffy comes to a stop in front of a building and starts to look for his keys inside of his backpack, Chopper wiggling his tail enthusiastically beside him. It's only when he takes his time to inspect his surroundings that he registers where he actually is, since he didn't do so while they were walking because he was too focused on Luffy's face to be able to pay attention to anything else. In fact, it's only then that he realizes he's not at all that far from his own neighborhood, only a few minutes away.  _We're basically neighbors,_ Law thinks when he realizes he usually walks through that exact same street when he goes to Bell-mere's, the coffee shop being just a bit ahead, around the corner.

Law remembers then how Luffy had mentioned that his new place was closer to Bell-mere's, he just didn't expect it would be that close or think about the fact that he would also be closer to where he lives and that makes Law smile then because, if he had thought about pushing Luffy away, the universe wouldn't, obviously, make things easy for him.

"I live not too far from here, you know," Law mutters, looking up at Luffy's new building, an eight-story old looking thing that looks out of place but that stands out from the surrounding buildings that, even though are more recent, lack in personality and in architectonical style.

His gaze then stops on Luffy, standing already inside, his hand holding the door open but not in an inviting kind of way. He looks conflicted for a moment and Law wonders if he's wondering if he should invite him inside or not. He only realizes it was not the case when Luffy says, with determination, "I'm going to make you fall for me," as if making the decision just then.

It didn't catch Law off guard as it probably should. He knows Luffy's childish and stubborn enough to not let last night be forgotten as it should. "I'm not gay, Luffy-ya."

"Well, that doesn't necessarily imply that you're straight," he says, a frown forming on his face, but he closes the door and disappears before Law could say anything else.

Law stays there in the same place for a couple of seconds, looking at his reflection on the glass part of the door. He feels frustrated and he closes his fists so hard that his nails pinch his skin, but he can't stop his insides for twitching with excitement as he turns around to leave, a small smile playing on his lips.

.

.

.

During the next few days, Law proceeds to ignore Shachi in every way he could. He didn't answer his phone calls or text him back, he didn't sit next to him in class and avoided every sort of physical and visual contact with him. It was not that he was angry at him, not at all, Law figured out quite quickly that the guy just told Luffy the parts he wasn't planning on telling him himself because he didn't know how to approach the subject and the parts that Shachi thought were too important for Law's current situation to be left unsaid. Law gets it, and deep down he's actually glad he did what he did, after all, it prevented him from having a really awkward conversation with Luffy that, considering how bad he is at expressing himself, could only go terrible wrong. But, even so, Law has to make him pay somehow and, since he can't go and lecture him and maybe throw a rock at his head because the guy would realize quite quickly how Law isn't actually mad at him, he has to content himself with avoiding him, and so far it's giving him a lot of pleasure with doing so. The guy's face when Law just pretends he isn't there and walks right past him and towards Penguin and Jean is just precious. Law didn't plan on acting like that for more than a day, that being enough time for Shachi to think about what he did wrong, but three days have passed and it's still funny so he can't bring himself to stop.

That is, of course, until the guy decided to come to his apartment in the middle of the night, banging at his door and shouting his name, making Law wake up from his sleep and curse the family of the person that keeps letting Shachi enter inside of the damn building. Law glares at him when he opens the door, his hair all over the place, his face swollen, the old and shaggy clothes he uses as his pajamas all messy and his eyes so tired that Shachi immediately starts apologizing once he sees him, only shutting up when Law gives him one lopsided smile and steps aside, giving him enough space to walk through the door.

Shachi ends up hugging him desperately, apologizing yet again but this time for telling Luffy what he shouldn't, and Law just responds by giving him a few pats on his back, saying it was alright, and practically dragging him to the couch where they sat for a couple of hours, Law explaining what happened with Luffy and Shachi nodding enthusiastically, almost as if everything went as planned.

They both fall asleep there in an uncomfortable mess of limbs, a shitty movie still playing on the TV in front of them, and only wake up with Shachi's alarm playing loudly, the damn phone being far enough from reach for Shachi to take too damn long to turn it off and, by that time, they were already wide awake. Law groans when he realizes it's Saturday and that he doesn't fucking have classes, so he kicks Shachi out of his apartment with only a pack of cookies for breakfast and heads to his bedroom where he only comes out in the middle of the afternoon, his head hurting for having slept so much and his body hurting like he was run over by a fully loaded truck.

He scavenged his kitchen, looking for food ready to be eaten and that wouldn't take time to prepare or cook but there isn't any. He has finished his cereal long ago and all the good tasting cookies too, he doesn't have leftovers inside of his fridge or neither does he have those instant food cups that one only has to pour hot water into, mostly because he was never a fan of those even though he's a college student.

He sighs, looking down at his phone to check the time, and sighs once more when he realizes it's already four in the afternoon and he has wasted great part of the day by doing nothing, so he packs a bunch of things inside of his backpack along with his computer, but without really paying attention to them, and heads to his bedroom again to put on some mildly clean clothes, not even bothering to check how they look on him or to try and tame his hair. He leaves and complains about his belly making loud noises all the way to the Bell-mere's.

He's surprised when he sees Nami behind the counter, mostly because he hasn't seen her in what appears to be ages. She grins at him as he approaches her and he's happy to see her, he truly his, but, at the same time, he feels disappointed, although he tells himself that's due the fact that he's starving and will have to order food from no other than Nami.

"Long time no see!" She says, enthusiastically, pressing her palms on top of the counter and showing off her perfectly arranged nails, to which he responds with a dry  _Hey_. "What can I do for you today? And don't tell me you just want coffee,  _please_."

"I won't," he says after sighing in defeat, "just give something that doesn't require all the money inside of my wallet."

"Noted that, I have the perfect thing in the kitchen," she says, getting out of her fancy high chair and waving dismissively with her hand at him, "now go sit and wait, you can pay after."

He does what he's told and watches as Nami disappears inside the kitchen without having started to prepare his coffee and he tries no to think much about how differently she's acting while putting his computer on top of the table in front of him and taking his hat off. He turns it on and starts messing around on the internet, just making some time for his order to arrive, but Nami seems to be taking her time in the kitchen and he wonders if she's just waiting for Nojiko to finish some new pastry when, suddenly, he sees Luffy appear instead of Nami, without his uniform and with a small blue plate on his hand.

Law watches as he starts making his coffee and covering himself up with coffee strains like he always is. Law soon loses the little bit of interest he had on his computers screen, resting his chin on his palm as he watches Luffy working. He was never that gracious or that efficient at handling the machines, sure he knew how to do his job and prepared the orders quickly, but he was also messy and clumsily and it was always shown damn well on his uniform. However, there was just something about the way he moved that was mesmerizing to watch and Law couldn't bring himself to look away, and that has been happening ever since Law started coming to Bell-mere's, although he initially thought that was just due to the anticipation of having good coffee to satisfy his organism while now he's not that sure anymore.

"One coffee and a piece of pie for a cutie pie," Luffy says when he's close enough to him, putting everything on top of the table next to Law's computer and grinning, fully aware of how weirdly that sounded but not seeming to mind at all.

"I will pretend that didn't happen," Law mutters and is mildly surprised when he sees two big slices of apple pie on the plate, two small forks that looked childish on each side. Then, Luffy takes the seat in front of him and starts eating one of the slices, almost ending it with just one forkful _,_  seeming delighted and motioning for Law to eat his own with only one pointed look.

Law gets taken aback, he was not expecting any of that to happen, otherwise, he would've put on some other clothes that smelled fresher and that looked nicer than the ones he's currently wearing and would've tried to control the mess he calls hair. He feels self-conscious when he looks at his reflection on his computer's black screen, it already having turned off without him even noticing, and he contemplates the idea of putting his hat back on, but what difference would it make really. Plus, he's not like Luffy seems to mind his appearance, after all he has seen the worse of Law, him soaked wet to the bones, him stressed enough to the point of wanting to pull all his hair off, him deprived of caffeine or food, him without sleeping properly for weeks, him drinking to the point of not being able to stand on his feet, him hungover right after. He has seen him in all his worse aspects and he's still  _there_ , inhaling the damn pie without noticing Law staring at him, wondering what the hell the guy has seen on him that caught his interest so much.

"Why do you do this?" Law asks, meaning it to be only a thought but his mouth tricking him.

Luffy looks up at him, with those big brown eyes that tell Law he knows exactly what he's talking about even though he still bothers to fake confusion, "do what?"

" _This_ ," Law says, closing his computer and leaning on it, motioning vaguely with his hands. "Why do you keep acting like this? I-" he hesitates then, feeling overwhelmed by Luffy's stare and not knowing how to put into words that he doesn't understand why people find him remotely attractive or enjoy his company when he's aware that he's a pain in the ass. "I literally have the sex appeal of a math book."

Luffy narrows his eyes. "Ok, so first of all, I'm not  _doing anything_ ," he says, also motioning with his hands, imitating Law as if to prove his point, smiling at the end. "Plus, I don't know what's so hard to get. I've literally never opened a math book without saying  _fuck me_."

Law sighs in defeat, suppressing a laugh from escaping his mouth. He should've expected an answer like that, and yet he didn't, and no other word left his mouth to refute Luffy's point. He decided to just focus on his piece of pie and ate it delightfully, suddenly remembering he was starving and letting the sweet flavor of the apple and cinnamon fill his mouth. He notices then how there wasn't a pun written anywhere but he finds that he doesn't mind, after all, he would trade all the puns he has ever received for Luffy's company because it sure is a lot better.

They both stay there in silence, but it's a warm and comfortable one that Law doesn't mind. He drinks his coffee slowly, feeling his throat burn every time he swallows it. Luffy's on his phone, tipping furiously and with a slight pout on his mouth and Law feels the sudden urge to pinch his face so, instead, he looks away and notices Nami staring closely at them with a blank face that Law isn't sure how to interpret or to feel about it other than being utterly uncomfortable.

"So tell me," Luffy says, his voice low and inviting, bringing Law back to reality, "are you going to do anything today? Or are you just going sit here until Bell-mere's closes?"

"Honestly, I have no reason to be here. I guess I just needed sugar in my system. Why?"

Luffy shrugs. "Dunno. I'm done for the day, thought you might want to so something like, grocery shopping maybe?"

"Grocery shopping?" Law asks, arching an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah? It's just that I don't have anything in my kitchen and if I go alone I'll just end up buying all the food I see," Luffy says, sheepishly and scratching the back of his neck. Little did he know Law also needed desperately to refill his own kitchen, even though he really just needed snacks and food high in calories.

Law finishes the remaining of his coffee in one big swallow and shoves his computer back inside of his backpack, realizing then how it ended up being completely inutile to have brought so much crap with him in the first place. He puts his hat on and heads to the counter before Luffy could say anything, suddenly feeling the urge to leave the place and breath fresh air somewhere where Nami's eyes won't reach. He pays for his coffee and both slices of pie before Luffy has enough time to take his wallet out because of fucking course Nami wouldn't even let his employee have a free pastry like the miser she is.

He storms out of Bell-mere's right after, Luffy following him closely. He feels his feet banging against the pavement loudly and he realizes he's walking unusually fast when he notices that Luffy has to practically jog to keep up with his pace, his legs being shorter than his own. He slows down then.

"What's the rush?" Luffy asks, his breath uneven and sounding confused. "And why are you glaring?"

"I'm not."

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure it's just the sun hitting your face," Luffy says, rolling his eyes and putting himself in front of him, making Law slow down even more while he walks backwards in front of him, his hat falling from on top of his head but him managing to catch it before it had time to fly away. He then steps aside with one smooth movement, standing next to him once more as if nothing happened.

Law snorts when he looks back, seeing the Bell-mere's long gone from his eyesight, and a wave of relief washes through him. He doesn't know what had him, but he just wanted to leave. Nami knows what's up, that much is clear, and she probably went to warn Luffy about Law's presence and encouraged him to bring two slices of pie and to be the one making Law's order instead of her, or maybe it was the complete opposite, maybe she just went inside to warn him and told him to stay there and quit trying to have something with Law altogether, that he was no good for him, that he would only make his situation worse, that he was too complicated and too selfish to be a good match for him. And the fact that Law isn't able to decipher which one of the scenarios most likely happened is killing him.

"Is everything alright?" He hears Luffy asking next to him but his voice sounds just so off that it's like he's talking to him from another dimension. "You didn't have to come with me, like really I appreciate your company and that's why I invited you in the first place but you don't have to do it if you don't want to, I understand."

"It's not that," Law snaps at him, and he has the sudden urge to kick something, to smash a window's car until the alarm goes off. "I want to go with you okay? I'm just-" he trails off, stopping right there on the pavement as if it will help the correct words reach his brain, "conflicted."

"About what? " Luffy asks, stopping in front of him and looking puzzled, and it makes Law laugh then, because fuck, he sure wished he knew how to answer that.

"I don't fucking know," he ends up muttering.

Luffy smiles at him, as if he understands him better than what anyone else can. "Then there's no need to stress about it," he says before he starts walking again and Law sighs before following him because things are easier said than done.

They end up entering the supermarket that Law regularly uses, mostly because it's the only one in the neighborhood that is big enough to have everything one could possibly need and it's weird to think that now Luffy will become a regular to the place too, unless he prefers the smaller surfaces to do grocery shopping, which he doubts, otherwise they wouldn't have come here in the first place.

Law grabs a cart and shoves his backpack inside, relieving his back of the weight for a few time, and then waits for Luffy to do the same before they adventure inside of the perfectly throughout maze of aisles. He asks Luffy what he needs, hoping they could just skip a few of them, but the guy just responds with  _Everything,_  which quickly dissipates that idea. He shoves a few things inside the cart whenever a package catches his eye, along with two boxes of cereal, a few packages of milk and some yogurts but, for the most part, it's Luffy that keeps adding things until there's no more space inside the cart.

He wonders why Luffy invited him by making it clear he would need someone to prevent him from buying useless stuff or too much food for the good of his wallet because Law sure hasn't done anything other than pushing the cart and follow him around, trying hard to navigate properly without hitting other people's cart or an entire shelf in the process, it proving to be a difficult task since the cart doesn't turn very well once full and has the tendency to deflect to the right side. Luffy, on the other hand, doesn't help either, always choosing a path without thinking twice if Law and the damn cart will be able to follow him and without calculation the effort it would take for Law to just navigate around the obstacles that he doesn't have to deal with because he's just one slim guy.

So, at one point, he just pulls over next to a shelf containing things that he's sure no one will want to buy and waits for Luffy to go grab all he wants from that area and return, not bothering to try and walk past all the people blocking his way. He's out of the way enough for other people to be able to get past him without having to make any maneuvers with their carts, so he guesses he's safe enough. That is, of course, until he feels someone bumping into n him, the plastic of the cart not hitting his ass hard enough to hurt him but still annoying him beyond words. When he looks back to glare at whoever is stupid enough to hit him when there's clearly enough space for a full truck to pass beside him, he's surprised to see Monet looking at him with a smug face.

"It appears that we are condemned to meet in this supermarket," she says and Law doesn't bother to mention all the other times he has bought his groceries there without having bumped on her. "You know I was kind of offended when you stopped calling all of a sudden, but now I can see why."

"What do you mean with that?"

"Oh, you know," she says, motion with her hand to him, "you look like hell. College is killing us all, uh?"

"You don't look like hell," he points out, and she smiles at him, standing upright and throwing her hair over her shoulder with one gracefully movement.

"That's because I have the tools to hide things better," she says and winks at him with her long and fake eyelashes, "unlike you and your little friend."

Law looks back then, seeing Luffy approaching with his arms full of groceries and with a frown on his face. It's only middle amusing to watch him throw everything inside the cart without breaking eye contact with Monet, seeming annoyed by her presence then.

"Hey there, I'm Monet," she says, reaching one hand out introducing herself and seeming overall friendly but with a tone of voice that is cold.

"Luffy," he replies, shaking her hand almost in a threatening kind of way and Law just sighs then, he didn't think he would have to deal with this kind of jealousy, not from Monet, who's he has only been casually fucking, and surely not from Luffy, whom, well, is Luffy.

The whole interaction doesn't last much longer than that and Monet soon enough is saying her goodbyes, winking at Law once more and then walking away, swinging her hips way more than what she usually does. When he looks in Luffy's direction, he's not that surprised to see him glaring at her back, a small pout on his face. Law can't stop himself from trailing the line of his jawline then, sharp and tense, his gaze stopping on his neck and he notices how it doesn't have any makeup covering it, revealing what's left of his buises that have now a more yellowish and faint tone, almost getting unnoticed on Luffy's skin.

"You're ridiculous," he tells Luffy, making him look up and frown at him, his cheeks flushed with anger like he's a small child whose parents just prohibited him from having dessert. He watches as he starts walking then with heavy steps, only this time he looks behind his shoulder to make sure Law's following him more often and keeps close, acting all territorial and sometimes even helping him curve.

He notices how domestic they must look after the fourth time of Luffy holding two different types or brands of the same food in each hand and asking for Law's opinion, and he's surprisingly comfortable with the thought. They do the rest of the shopping relatively quickly and it's only when they're already walking towards the register that Law remembers he has been wanting to refill his medical kit for weeks now but keeps forgetting to do so. He turns the cart and waits for Luffy to follow him with confusion on his face, although he doesn't say anything when Law starts grabbing a handful of bandages and plasters.

"I have a first-aid kit at home, in case you're wondering. I've run out of a few things," Law says when he catches Luffy picking up a package of bandages, inspecting it and looking confused.

"Of course you have," Luffy mutters and smiles at him before throwing the package once again to the cart and getting closer, eyeing the shelf in front of him with his hands on his hips.

"You should too, you know," Law says while choosing an antiseptic spray and letting the  _considering you cut yourself_  implied enough, "you never know when you're gonna need one."

"Do you use yours a lot?" Luffy asks, looking absently to the cart where Law already has everything he needs, chewing nervously on his bottom lip.

"A few, yes," Law responds, with more naturality than what he thought he could, him normally getting defensive about this subject because people tend to ask questions, but Luffy just looks at him and he knows he understands without having to say anything else.

"Alright, tell me what I need then," Luffy says, taking a breath but sounding determined, which makes Law smile down at him.

They spend some good fifteen minutes there, Law explaining the overall uses of each product that he thinks Luffy will probably need if he continues with his self-mutilation and he hopes this way he's helping him doing it as safely as possible because if he can't stop him from hurting himself then he can at least try to teach him how to prevent further damage and infections, although he doesn't mention anything directly and keeps his speech hypothetical, hoping that way he wouldn't make Luffy feel self-conscious.

By the time they're finished with paying, they end up with both of his backpacks full with groceries and with a lot of plastic bags to keep both of their hands occupied, although Law's things only occupy the free space that his books and computer didn't occupy inside of his backpack. Luffy tries to part ways right outside the supermarket, thanking him for the company and reaching out to take the bags from Law's hand, but Law refuses, stating that there's no need for him to carry everything on his own when he's right there. They end up doing their way towards Luffy's apartment in silence and Luffy's seems a bit anxious, biting on his bottom lip hard enough to make it red and swollen and Law wonders if that was a good idea, the thought of being alone with Luffy inside a closed space then crossing his mind and making him feel suddenly anxious.

He dndes up not staying inside of Luffy's apartment for long though. In fact, after putting the plastic bags spread on top of the kitchen counter and petting Chopper behind his ears, he leaves without Luffy seeming to mind much, not even making an effort for him to stay a bit longer or even for dinner, and Law can't help but feel a bit disappointed.

He didn't even take a proper look at the apartment he was so curious to see.

.

.

.

The following week passes by in a blur even though Law doesn't do much besides attend his classes and go to the Bell-mere's in the middle of the afternoon. One time, Shachi was there all alone with no more than five customers inside of the place, so he spent most of the afternoon talking to him near the counter and the rest studying at his table, taking notes like the good old times when he was still a productive student. However, during the other days, it was Luffy that took his order, but he didn't pay him as much attention as Shachi did, mostly because he had more customers and didn't seem that inclined to interact with him, and that makes Law wonder why Luffy just seemed so confident he would make Law fall for him since he really isn't doing that much other than acting in the exact same way as he always did, and Law doesn't know what he should think of it, or what he was expecting to change in their relationship because it was obvious that Luffy wouldn't start acting differently all of a sudden just to please him. After all, that's not who he is, but, either way, Law expected more, more flirtation, more enthusiasm, more something, and he gets so caught up on that thought that he doesn't realize until much later that Luffy's not doing anything else because he doesn't want Law to feel like he's crossing boundaries and making him uncomfortable.

In fact, he just realizes that when's he's laying on his couch facing the ceiling and zoning out in the middle of the night, unable to fall asleep and thinking about the implications of him wishing that Luffy could just throw himself at him once again and not liking them one slight bit. Shachi's words play on his mind then, telling him to just try it out, that he's in college and he's allowed to do things that he probably wouldn't do otherwise, that having a guy give him a handjob or blowing him don't exactly mean he swings that way.

_But if I like it then it kind of does_ , Law thinks then and that's the exact same point that Shachi conveniently forgot to clarify, but that may have been because Law didn't tell him that the thought of Luffy's mouth around his cock is so endearing that his breath gets uneven and his mind starts to wander, mostly because he's only realizing that now.

He closes his eyes and tries to recall that fateful night. He still remembers how soft and demanding Luffy's lips were, clashing against his own in between hot and breathless pants. It was so brutal and so messy and ended way too fast even though Law doesn't really know for how long he kept Luffy on top of him, for how long he kept him in place on his lap, grabbing him by his hips and forcing him down, closer. He only knows that it wasn't nearly enough. The more he thinks about that episode, the more he how should've stayed instead of leaving, how he should've pinned him down against the couch, make him spread his legs until he had enough space to crawl on top of him in between them and then kiss him restlessly until his lips were swollen and red, taking his time exploring his mouth and then moving on to the soft skin of his neck. Law should've bitten and sucked on it until he left his own marks on top of those bruises and made Luffy gasp for air, letting him moan and whimper next to his ear while digging his nails on the fabric of Law's clothes, pinching the skin underneath.

He feels his cock twitching then, reacting to his thoughts, demanding for attention. He's only wearing boxer briefs and a loose t-shirt but he suddenly feels like he's wearing too much, suddenly feels like he's wearing too many clothes, feeling his skin burning and itching underneath the fabric, and so he doesn't think twice before stripping down and tossing his clothes to the floor right next to the couch. He adjusts his position then, making himself more comfortable. He strokes his cock slow and steady at first, trying to control his breathing and his racing heart, and then closes his eyes and imagines how it would be like to have Luffy there, on top of him, humping himself against him or maybe taking his length all in. He wonders how it would be like to be inside of Luffy, if his ass would be as tight and hot as he's picturing it to be, wonders how it would be like to have a cock to grab and stroke aside from his own, wonders how it would be like to have Luffy's cock inside of his mouth, how it would taste like or if he would even be able to take all of it in. Wonders how it would be like to have Luffy panting underneath him, begging for Law to go faster, deeper, and whimpering once he does so, arching his body just for him. Wonders how Luffy looks like when's he's coming, wonders if his body trembles or if his skin flushes, if he moans loudly doing so or if his eyes get unfazed and watery.

He comes not long after that one last thought, come dripping from his hand and onto his belly, making a mess, and only then he realizes how lucky he was for not getting any on the couch cushions. He's surprised by how little he even had to touch himself, how it was his imagination that did most of the work, but even so he feels exhausted and decides to skip a quick shower before going to bed, cleaning himself with a wet cloth instead and putting the clothes lying on the floor back on.

It's only when he's in bed with his limbs spread like he's a starfish that he truly thinks about what he just did. He feels weird then, shallow, mostly because he has used Luffy in his fantasies and jerked off while picturing his face and that damned mouth of his, and it's like something clicks on his mind then. He can't keep up with this any further, he has to try his luck and just see how it goes. Who cares if he likes it and ends up wanting more, who cares if it's not what he was expecting and wants to stop right after starting. Who cares really, he won't know how it feels like and if it pleases as much as the thought of it does unless he tries it.

_I will talk to Luffy,_  Law decides then, turning around until his face is squeezing the pillow underneath, taking a few deep breaths. He wonders if Luffy will be okay if he proposes casual sex, if he will even accept the offer or just feel offended. Shachi's words play on his mind once again,  _he's a cool guy, I'm sure he'll understand as long as you explain yourself_ , and he hopes he's right.

He sends Shachi a text, warning him about the fact that he won't attend classes in the morning and for him not to mock him. After that, he only has time to notice it's almost four AM before passing out, his mind still a confusing blur and with that itchy feeling inside of his chest.

.

.

.

The next day things are weird, although he doesn't know exactly why. He goes to Bell-mere's as soon as he wakes up, almost at noon, but before he takes his time in the shower, regret filling his mind when he scrubs his skin harden than what he needs to, and he avoids looking at his own reflection, too ashamed to even look at his own face. It's almost like he has two people living inside of him, one, emotional, only appears during times like last night when he's sleep-deprived and not thinking correctly, making him question everything he took for granted and succumb to his primal instincts, while the other, the rational one, only comes to deal with the aftermath, to deal with the questions that were raised and to try and make sense out of what he did, and honestly he doesn't know which one he hates more.

He checks his phone when he's already out of his apartment and, despite having warned Shachi not to disturb him, he's not that surprised to see a few unread messages from him.

**Why not?**  Received at 8:48 AM.

**Im gonna make some notes for you** , received at 8:51 AM.

**And for the record Luffy wont be working today** , received at 10:23 AM.

He goes to Bell-mere's either way, mostly because he was already halfway there and needed coffee desperately. The backpack on his shoulders suddenly feels too heavy, and he realizes then that he didn't even take off what he didn't need, such as his computer and a few of his books. He had intended on studying through his notes that day and wait for Shachi to take pictures of the ones he made of the classes he didn't attend and send them to him, so he really doesn't need all the shit that's inside his backpack, but he guesses now it's too late for him to go back to his apartment just to throw everything to the dining table.

This time, he's not surprised to see Nami behind the counter because he was already expecting it, even though it would be preferable if Luffy was the one there, it would make things a lot easier for him although the place sure isn't the best one for him to ask Luffy if he wants to have sex with him every once in a while. Coming to think of it, he's not really that sure how he could start that conversation to begin with, it's not like he can drop the subject without a follow-up or a backup plan.

He's still thinking about that when he orders a coffee and a blueberry muffin just for the sake of it and because he hadn't eaten anything yet that day. He's sure Nami realized something was wrong, considering the look she gave him but, other than the usual chit-chat, she doesn't say anything else, not even about the fact that he has ordered food without her picking on him to do so first. He brings the coffee and the plate by himself to the table, controlling the urge of just throwing the goddamn muffin against the wall and then watch as it collapses to the floor, all crumbled and unrecognizable. Instead, he puts his backpack hanging on the chair and then collapses on it. He takes his notes out and spreads them on the table but he doesn't pay more attention to them than that. Instead, he takes his phone out and sends a text to Shachi, telling him he's fine, because he knows the guy worries about him like he's a small child, especially now with the whole Luffy thing. He receives the answer not even a minute after.

**Alrig** **ht. Just call if you need me** , received at 1:06 PM.

**Just send me the photos of your notes** , sent at 1:07 PM.

**I feel used** , received at 1:10 PM, followed by four pictures that Law's sure he will take too long just to decipher Shachi's calligraphy and the acronyms.

He tells him  **thank you**  right after saving them all on his phone and then puts it down next to his notes, he will deal with them once he's finished with organizing his own. He starts working then, turning his head and making his neck tilt to the side in a way that isn't healthy at all. He drinks his coffee and even eats the muffin, although it doesn't taste as delicious as the other pastries he has tried before and he feels weird to be eating it when he doesn't see any pun laying around, even if it has been a while since Luffy actually wrote him one, and it makes him wonder if maybe he has run out of source material or if he just doesn't have the right mood to do so anymore, but he guesses the puns he tells him when he's ordering make up for that, although they're not really food-related.

He looks at his phone then. It hasn't rung or vibrated but, at the same time, it just being there catches his attention. He grabs it and searches for Luffy's number and contemplates the idea of calling him, after all since it's his day off Law can't really expect him to just appear there all of a sudden. But what if he's occupied? Hanging with his friends maybe, enjoying the sunny Saturday. Or what if he's just resting? Chilling on his apartment with Chopper, maybe just sleeping because he sure looks like he needs more sleep hours. Or he could just be watching a movie on his couch, or walking Chopper down the street and maybe if Law leaves right now he could even encounter him doing so.

He shakes his head then, sighing, and ends up just sending him a text, hoping that way he's not intruding anything. He struggles with the right words, not want Luffy to stress out when he receives it, but also not wanting to sound too cold like he wants to tell him to fuck off and to leave him alone. So he decides to just send  **I need to talk to you. Nothing happened, I just need to** , and hopes Luffy will tell him when he's available. He puts his phone back down on the table after a while without getting a response, the screen facing up so he can see if he receives any notification of a text message.

Luffy never texts him back, however, and Law starts to get so impatient that, on his third walk to the counter since he has entered Bell-mere's, he decides to ask Nami if she knows where Luffy is, waiting for her to go grab the piece of the pie he just ordered from the display to say so, hoping she wouldn't give him one of her stares. It doesn't work.

"Are you waiting for him?" She asks then, her tone cautious and her eyes narrowed at him. She puts the slice of pie on top of the counter but neither of them pay much attention to it.

"No, but I need to talk to him. Do you know if he's at home or something?"

"Well, yeah I suppose he is," she says but doesn't sound too sure of it and Law can stop himself from noticing how she's hiding something, "you see, on his days off he tends to disappear. I mean, not really, but he usually turns his phone off and I've learned to not ask him questions about it when he appears the next day."

"Why not? Aren't you his friend?" He asks before thinking twice and feels his blood boiling inside of him. Luffy harms himself and all his friends know about that, and yet when he closes himself and blocks the only way of contact they just act like that's normal and don't try to reach out or question him. It goes beyond him and he just can't understand their line of thought, sure they know Luffy better than he does but still, it doesn't make any sense.

He's sure his confusion is showing on his face when Nami just gives him a small and apologetical smile that makes his insides twitch in annoyance. "I am, that's why I leave him be, that's why I don't ask questions when he appears here with his throat covered in bruises and sucking marks or when he asks me to cover them with my own makeup. He should be allowed to make his own mistakes, even if they include fucking around with a guy that is not healthy for him at all."

Law feels his head spinning then, it's too much information in one go but he still notices how she spitted the last sentence and how her tone changed, getting colder and harsher, obviously not approving Luffy's choices but still not interfering with them.  _No_ , he thinks then,  _she is interfering_ ,  _she's telling me this for a reason_ , and Law just wants to punch her in the face. It's obvious that she knows about their kiss and he honestly doesn't condemn Luffy for telling her, but that doesn't give her the right to play with Law like this, doesn't give her the right to just drop the bomb and expect him to prevent it from exploding.

"Why are you telling me this?" He asks, even though he already knows the answer, but he wants to hear it from her, wants to see if she's going to play dumb or to admit what she truly wants out of it to his face.

"Because I figured out you already knew about all of that on your own, but now I see that you didn't know about the sex part, so sorry to be the one telling you this," she says and doesn't sound apologetic at all. "People are complicated, Law, but about that you already know too well."

Law turns on his heels then, completely forgetting about the pie he just ordered on the counter, finding her face too hateful to look at, and heads to his table where he starts shoving everything inside of his backpack once again, not even minding when the sheets get all crumpled. He leaves the Bell-mere's with more anger than what he thought he could even have inside of him, his footsteps banging loudly against the wooden floor. He passes by Nami without telling her a word and doesn't even look at her face while putting enough money to pay for everything, too sure that he would just strangle her right there if he did so.

He arrives at his apartment in record time and without even noticing how fast he was going. He slams his backpack onto the couch, forgetting completely about the fact that his computer was still inside. He wants to punch the wall them, to feel the bones of his hands breaking with the impact, to see blood dripping from his skin and onto the floor but he doesn't, he contains himself at the last second. Instead, he closes his eyes and tries to control his breathing and to stop his heart from hammering against his ribcage. And then what if Luffy's having sex with another guy that is not good for him, what if he has a pain kink, what if they're fucking right now, who cares really? It has nothing to do with him and it's any of his business at all, it's Luffy's, and he's old enough to know what he wants and if that means seeking for a fuck to release all the pain and all the frustration and all the anger that got accumulated inside of him then let him be, let him have a bit of joy for a change.

But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt Law more than what he wants to admit, doesn't mean that it doesn't make his throat clench with the thought of Luffy being with someone else, doesn't mean that he's completely unaffected by it. What it does mean is that he  _understands_ , God if he does.

He feels his nails digging his palms and he can't stop himself from pressing them harder against the skin. His phone suddenly feels too heavy inside of his pocket and, when he takes it out and sees that there are no new text messages, he realizes that he needs to know. So he calls Luffy and keeps in mind Nami's words, promising himself that if Luffy's phone is unavailable then he will leave him alone and won't ask questions and won't get himself deeper down on the matter, promising himself that he will just leave him be and continue with his own life. However, when he hears that the number is not available he tries again, and again, only stopping after the third time of hearing the same message.

He lets out a bitter laugh then, feeling as if someone just ran over him, and he ends up calling Monet without thinking twice, asking her if she wants to have dinner with him later on and leaving explicit enough his intentions for the follow-up. She doesn't seem to mind his rudeness or his lack of proper dialogue and agrees without asking questions, hanging up after telling Law the time and the place.

It's only when he's finishing his second shower of the day to get ready for the dinner that Law really thinks about what he's doing. As he looks at his own reflection in his mirror, half-blurry due to the hot water, he realizes how much he doesn't agree with the last thing Nami has said. People are not complicated, people are stupid, and he may as well be looking right at the stupidest one of them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to not do drugs and to not hurt yourself but, if you do, please remember to do it as safely as possible.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there^^
> 
> OK, so first of all, I must say that this chapter has a lot of meaning to me and I want to warn you beforehand that if you find it triggering to read descriptions of blood and self-inflicted wounds please be aware that this chapter contains those and although it's not gory or anything like that, after all this is not that kind of story, they're still there. So yeah, read at your own risk.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter^^

It's weird how his date with Monet turns out. She looks flawless as usual, but something about her appearance is different, something he can't quite explain. She gives him one long open-mouthed peck on the cheek and smiles at him without showing her teeth before grabbing his forearm with both of her hands, letting Law lead the way inside of the restaurant that, even though it's not one of those fancy ones that she's used to go, it's still expensive enough to make Law's wallet cry. Her high heels echo through the entrance of the place, which causes the people sat inside to give them side-looks. Despite the fact that he's wearing his good clothes, Law still feels uncomfortable with the sudden attention and can't help himself but hope they all just choke with their food and die painfully while scratching their necks and gasping for air.

They sit in a corner that has a great view of the fancy part of town and eat calmly, talking about things that Law doesn't really care enough to pay much attention to. Monet's outbursts are utterly boring and she mentions names of people that he hasn't met, but doesn't seem to mind much when Law only nods absently and just lets her keep ranting. The food is good, but he could easily do well without eating it, and he's sure they'll both end in a dubious fast-food restaurant by the time midnight comes around the clock and he's not looking forward to do that.

"You look distracted, is there something on your mind?" Monet asks, don't even lifting her eyes from her food and continuing to eat delicately to not ruin her lipstick, as if it's not going to be all messy and over both of their faces by the end of the night.

"It's nothing important, don't worry about it," he tells her and hopes she'll drop the subject. She lifts her eyes at him then, batting her long eyelashes before sighing, although she doesn't seem too bothered with Law's words.

"Would you even tell me if it was important?" She mutters then, a smirk playing on her lips, showing Law that she's well aware he wouldn't, after all they don't have that kind of relationship, he made sure of that right from the beginning. Monet usually tells him things that bother her, but they don't really have that much importance underneath, it's just to fill the silence that sometimes falls over them. The deep subjects, the ones that have a real impact on her, she keeps to herself just like he does, and they're both okay with things being like that, uncomplicated. Keeping the conversations shallow and meaningless prevents them from getting too attached to each other.

They leave not long after finishing the dessert, splitting the bill without much thought and, soon enough, they're pulling off on Monet's car, not finding that many people on the road other than them. She drives in silence and Law doesn't bother initiating a conversation, opting instead for looking through the window and noticing how they appear to be leaving the town altogether when he spots a green spot of trees getting closer and closer. They enter a park, cut in half by a dirt road that makes the car shake due to the rocks and holes on it, and Law wonders why she drove them there in the first place. They've had sex in Monet's car a few times by now, but they never had to go so far out of the town to do so, and it was always so annoying to change positions and to move freely that they started using Monet's bed instead, only using the car when they were in a rush to get all the frustration out of their bodies.

She stops her car right at the end of the road, it not having a way out, and doesn't even bother parking next to a tree, just leaves the car like that, but Law doubts they'll have any visitors up there anyway. She turns the car off and suddenly they're swallowed by darkness. Law's eyes take a few seconds to adjust to it but, soon enough, he's able to see the shapes of the trees around them without needing more than the faint moonlight. He was ready for her to climb on his lap then, parting his legs just enough for him to be comfortable and her to have space to do so, but she ended up not moving a muscle towards him. Instead, she exited the car and walked away into the trees without saying a word, leaving Law all alone in the car, wondering if he should follow her or wait until she comes back.

A few seconds pass by and Law decides to get out, felling the soft dirt underneath his feet and hearing the breeze passing through the trees, hitting his face gently. He doesn't see much, but he heads towards the way he saw Monet disappear, using his phone's flashlight to see where he's stepping on. He finds her a bit ahead, on a small clearing that provides a view for the town, chaotic and too bright, contrasting with the silence surrounding them, although some of the louder noises still reach Law's ears. He takes his time admiring the view, feeling the breeze against his body, against his face, and lets himself breathe in the soft smell of nature.

"This is beautiful isn't it?" He hears Monet say next to him and there's nothing he can say other than agree with her. "I spent a great part of my first year of college here. It was all so new and complicated that when I found this place it was like I found heaven. I don't come here as much nowadays, but it's still my favorite part of this town."

"I can see why," he hears himself muttering without really thinking about it. He looks at her then, only to find her already looking at him, the moonlight reflecting on her hair and making the green of it glow. He can't stop himself from admiring how beautiful she looks then. "How did you even find this place?"

She laughs softly, looking away. "It was by mere luck really. One day I just needed to get away from everybody and ended up driving here without noticing. I've never shown this place to anyone," she says, looking more vulnerable than all the times he had her pinned down on her bed, begging for Law to go harder, and he can't stop himself from feeling pity for her for choosing to show this place to him, from all people.

"Then why are you doing it now?"

"Because when I found this place I was lost, in more ways than you can think of, and just coming here all by myself helped me get back on track more than what my counselors ever did," she says, standing taller than him, licking her lips. "You just have to find your own little heaven, Law."

"You think I'm lost?" He asks, mockingly, as a way of breaking the seriousness of the whole conversation

"I don't know," she responds promptly and doesn't seem affected by his tone at all, "are you?"

_At all levels_ , he thinks, but ends up responding with a dry "no", not letting enough space for her to say anything else before shoving her against a nearby tree trunk, gently for her not to fall from her high heels but hard enough for her to understand what he wants, a not so subtle reminder of the reason he invited her for a date in the first place. She smiles against his lips and bites him hard enough for him to pull away, then grabbing his arm and pulling him in the car's direction once again.

She opens the back door and shoves Law inside, waiting long enough for him to find a comfortable position before crawling on top of him, taking off her shirt before even closing the door behind her. She positions herself on top of him and rocks her hips before bending down to kiss him hard, arching her spine when Law pulls her hair to expose her neck and bite on its skin, allowing her to take off his hat with one smooth movement and to run her fingers through his hair.

Law feels his cock reacting to her body, feels his blood rush through his veins, but something is off and he feels wrong when she starts unbuttoning his shirt with skillful fingers, exposing the top of his chest and scratching his skin with her long nails, hard enough to leave a burning feeling behind. He wants to stop her then, wants to grab her hands and prevent them from going any further down, wants to shove her aside and just leave, but he can't bring himself to.

He finds it ironic, how his phone starts ringing not long after, loudly enough to scare them both, but Monet doesn't do more than glare in the phone's direction and snarl against Law's mouth in annoyance, as if it's his fault someone decided to call him, as if it's his fault that they're getting interrupted. He tries to ignore it and go back to focusing on Monet's mouth, but he only manages to do so for a few seconds before grabbing her by her hips and forcing her to sit on his lap. He feels his heart hammering against his ribcage as he tries to reach for his phone, ringing from its place on the front seat, and he only has time to see Luffy's name written on the screen before freezing and letting it fall silent while holding it on his hand.

"I'm sure whatever it is can wait," she says, her voice cold and annoyed, and tries to snatch the phone away from his hand, but he doesn't let her. He has seen the time, it's way past midnight, Luffy wouldn't call him at that hour if it wasn't important or if he could've waited for a better time, he knows him better than that.

He tries to sit up then, but Monet doesn't help him and remains sat on his lap, glaring at him and crossing her arms underneath her breasts, still covered whit her lace bra that Law didn't even bother taking off. He calls Luffy and avoids looking at her face when she just sighs in defeat and grabs her shirt, putting it back on and telling Law how he wouldn't be having sex that night without even having to say a word. She doesn't move away though, remaining in the same position and licking her lips, wanting to know what could possibly be more important than her right now. He notices how her lipstick got all messy around her mouth, making the fact that she's glaring right at him look scarier, but he couldn't care less, he just hopes he doesn't have his own lips looking like that.

He hears his call being picked up, his phone buzzing slightly against his ear, and he feels his heart hammering inside of his chest and his blood pumping loudly on his ears when Luffy calls his name, so low and so faintly he barely hears it.

"What's wrong?" He asks, feeling a wave of concern wash through him and he's aware Monet has felt it too because she stops glaring at him and tilts her head to the side, curious, intrigued. "Luffy-ya, talk to me."

For a moment, Law can only hear fast and shaky breathing on the other side, and he can't help but feel like he was punched in the stomach when Luffy finally starts talking, his voice so faint that it's barely even a whisper. "It doesn't stop, Law. I can't make it stop, I-"

"What can't you stop?" Law tries to make his voice sound as calm as possible.

"The blood, Law, it should've stopped but it doesn't and-" Luffy says and stops abruptly, breathing so fast and so irregularly that Law's afraid of him having a panic attack and only making his situation worse.

"Luffy-ya, I need you to focus on my voice now, yeah? Tell me, are you at home?" Law asks and doesn't wait for confirmation before looking straight at Monet, she immediately getting out of the car to move to the driver's seat, muttering under her breath but other than that not complaining. Law stays in the backseat, sitting up and leaning through the middle of the front seats to be able to give Monet directions without having to speak too loudly. "Keep talking to me, I'll be there in five minutes, alright? How deep is your cut, do you know that?"

"No, I – I don't know."

"Okay, remember those pads we bought? I need you to put pressure on the cut and don't lift it, alright?" Law says and he's so glad there's no one on the road aside from them, and he knows Monet is going as fast as she can, but at the same time it's like they're moving too slow, taking too long.

"Tell him to open the door, he may pass out," Monet tells him and that's exactly what he does and hopes the building's one is still open once he gets there.

"How are you feeling?" Law asks after hearing the sound of a door unlocking and Chopper's barks in the background. "Lay down if you're feeling nauseous or dizzy," he then adds after not getting an immediate response.

Law hears a faint  _Okay_  then, followed by a lot of muffled noise, and suddenly Chopper's barks get louder as Luffy tells him to get away, his voice so distant that Law worries he may be losing consciousness before the thought that Luffy may have put him on speakerphone crosses his mind.

"I'm tired, Law," Luffy says and Law has to use all of his will power to retain himself from yelling at Monet to go faster, mostly because putting their own safety at risk wouldn't be helpful at all. So, instead, he keeps asking questions just for Luffy to stay awake, to keep his mind occupied, and, soon enough, Luffy's building appears and Law only has time to grab his hat before he exits the car without even letting it come to a full stop next to the sidewalk.

He doesn't look back at Monet as he sprints away from her car, in fact, he completely forgets about her existence altogether. There's only one thing in his mind then, Luffy, Luffy,  _Luffy_ , and he couldn't be gladder when he's able to bang the building's door open and run through it without any inconvenience.

"I'm here," he says and keeps his phone next to his ear just in case. He hears Chopper's barks echoing and becoming louder and louder as he runs up the stairs, not even minding to try the elevator, and he appears by the time Law gets to Luffy's floor. Chopper keeps jumping and looks frantic but somehow manages to not stay in Law's way, as if knowing he's there to help his owner.

He finds Luffy laying on the floor next to his apartment's front door, with the phone resting on his chest and looking so pale and so messy that Law feels like someone has grabbed his own heart and squeezed it. Law ends the call and closes the door behind him, then kneels down next to Luffy and doesn't even notice how his own phone fell to the floor as he did so. He leans down and holds Luffy's face in between his hands, making him look at him while simultaneously feeling his heartbeat underneath his palms, his skin being so cold it startles Law.

"I'm here," he repeats then, softly and low, and he's sure his face shows just how worried he is because Luffy has the fucking audacity of smiling faintly at him like everything's alright even though his eyes are glazed and his lips are bluish.

He notices the first-aid kit forgotten next to Luffy and grabs it, taking out a roll of bandages. He takes Luffy's injured arm on his hands then, looking at him while asking for permission, and it gets him so mad when he sees the amount of trust splashed across Luffy's face then, because he knows this situation could've unfolded in a totally different way if only he had decided to follow Monet's words instead of returning Luffy's call. He could've been here all by himself instead, freaking out while trying to stop the bleeding on his own, and Law wonders if Luffy's aware of that, wonders if he would still look at him the same way if he knew.

He has to look away then to focus on Luffy's wound, noticing how there's still a line of blood running down Luffy's arm even though the pad is there and he keeps pressing it down over his cut with his other hand. Law starts bandaging Luffy's arm, over the pad and tight enough to keep it in place, but making sure it wouldn't stop the blood circulation. He tries to do it as gently as possible but he still notices Luffy's face twitching with pain, although he doesn't flinch away or complains about it.

Law takes his time cleaning the dry blood around the bandage and on Luffy's hands afterwards, trying to get rid of all of it as best as he can while simultaneously trying to control his own heartbeat and calm himself. He then slips his arms underneath Luffy's body and lifts him from the floor, so easily that it's almost like he doesn't weight anything at all.

It's not hard to find Luffy's bed, as his apartment doesn't have separate divisions, and he makes his way towards it while holding Luffy closely to his chest, Luffy's head resting on his shoulder. Chopper follows them and jumps onto the bed before Law has time to put Luffy on it, already half asleep but still trembling. Law tucks him under the covers, surprised at how many there are considering how hot the days have been, and then adds his own coat over the contour of Luffy's small body when he notices how his hair is wet, wondering if he may have taken a cold shower or stayed under the water springs for too long before cutting himself.

Law goes back to the entrance after making sure Luffy was comfortable enough, to lock the door properly and to turn off the lights. He notices his phone on the floor in the process and he grabs it along with the first-aid kit before heading towards Luffy's bed once again, taking his time to let his eyes adjust to the darkness first. He sits on the edge of the bed, hearing it creaking with his weight, and then takes Luffy's wounded arm out from under the covers, feeling pleased with his work as he sees that the bleeding didn't seep through the bandages. He puts the first-aid kit on top of the bedside table, next to Luffy's straw-hat, just in case, and lets a long sigh escape his lips as the adrenaline inside of his system starts to drain off, leaving him so tired that he has to bend down and rest his elbows on his thighs, bringing his hands up to scratch the back of his neck to try to calm his racing heart once more, feeling suddenly tired, exhausted even, as if all of his energy was suddenly sucked out of his body.

He thought that Luffy was already asleep by then but, as he feels a hand tucking gently his shirt and looks down in Luffy's direction, Law finds him looking straight at him, his eyes shiny even though the only light in the place comes from the moonlight outside.

"How are you feeling?" Law asks before he can stop himself and receives a soft smile in response, one that makes his chest itch painfully, and he has to fight the urge to ask Luffy what happened for him to feel the need of hurting himself like that, mostly because he's not sure if it would be a good thing for Luffy to recall that so soon. So Law contents himself with the knowledge that he's safe now and with the thought that he can ask for an explanation in the morning. "You should get some sleep."

"Will you still be here when I wake up?" Luffy asks while trying to keep his eyes open but not managing to do so for more than a few seconds.

"Of course." Law smiles down at him, even though Luffy's no longer looking at him, and realizes how he would've bent down to kiss him then if the feeling of Monet's nails and mouth wasn't a painful realization of his poor choices, like a burn on his skin.

He watches as Luffy turns to the opposite side then, bringing Chopper closer and digging his face on his fur, seeming pleased with Law's answer, and Law feels stupid, so stupid and so disgusted with himself that he stays there long after Luffy's breathing start to come out slow and steadily, just watching how peaceful his face looks and wondering if the color has returned to his cheeks by now, if he's warm and comfortable underneath that pile of covers and Law's coat. In fact, he stays there until he too starts to get sleepy and he has to force himself to get up, even though all he wanted was to slide under the covers and wrap his arms around Luffy waist, bringing him closer and digging his own face on his neck, exhaling Luffy's scent and pretend nothing happened.

As he walks around Luffy's apartment he realizes how it's overall plan gives the bedroom area enough privacy from the rest of the place without having to have any wall dividing it. It's almost like it has the shape of the letter L, the base containing the bedroom and part of the living room's area, and the top containing the kitchen and what can only be the bathroom, considering there's the only door inside the apartment besides the entrance one. Four big windows occupy the wall opposite of him, still without any curtains covering them despite having the curtain rod already assembled, so he proceeds to close the blinds outside, although not fully, leaving them open just enough so that once the sun comes out the sunlight coming in will be enough to illuminate the place but not enough to make them wake up early in the morning. After all, Luffy sure needs a few good hours of sleep after this whole situation.

He takes his phone out and turns on the flashlight to be able to navigate without making too much noise or bang into something. There are still a few boxes lying around, although the apartment looks like it's already sorted out, aside from a wall, right next to the fridge, that looks empty and doesn't have anything hanging or just leaning against it. As Law takes a closer look, he wonders if maybe Luffy's planning on painting it.

And then, as he notices the light coming from the gap under the bathroom's door, the sudden realization that Luffy has quite for certain cut himself there hits him like the hood of a car. He approaches the door, but only manages to put his hand on the doorknob before needing to stop, preparing himself for whatever that might be on the other side.

He can't stop himself from feeling likes he's intruding when he finally opens the door and sees the mess inside. There's blood covering the sink, the razor Luffy used being casually laid inside of it. He can't help but let the sudden range grow inside of him as he picks it up and throws it inside of the trash bin. He would do anything to know what goes through Luffy's mind when he cuts himself, would do anything to know if he thinks about dying, if he likes the pain as he slips his wrists open, or if he's not thinking about anything at all and just comes to his senses once he sees too much blood coming out of his cuts, then panics while trying to stop it.

He wishes he knew how to help him more, wishes he was able to provide useful advice or be good enough with words to convince him to stop, but he knows that alone wouldn't be enough, so he contents himself with the task of searching for the cleaning products and finding them in the cabinet underneath the sink. He puts rubber gloves on, bright pink and big enough to cover part of his forearms too, and starts scrubbing the sink, getting rid of all the blood and only stopping once he leaves it clean and shiny, then grabbing two bloody cloths from the floor and throwing them into the trash bin as well.

He steps unintentionally on a soaked pile of clothes and, as he inspects it closely, he notices how they look like pajamas, thrown against the wall in a rush.  _He took a shower clothed_ , he thinks then, and wonders if maybe Luffy needed to clean his mind so badly that he didn't even bother to take his clothes off, wonders if he had one of those nightmares that he seemed so afraid of before, one that made him wake up in panic and covered in sweat, unable to distinguish between the dream and the reality, wonders if that's why Luffy had to make sure Law would spend the night before letting himself fall asleep, probably worried he would have another one and repeat the process all over again.

He's still thinking about that when he grabs the clothes and hangs them on the shower curtains for them to dry and when he goes to search for a mop to clean all the water on the floor, trying to make as less noise as he can manage to not disturb Luffy. It's only when he's satisfied with his job that he gives himself enough time to take a good look at his own reflection on the mirror that occupies the space between the sink and the shower, being long enough to be able to show the length of Law's whole body. His shirt is still unbuttoned at the top, revealing the pale skin of his neck and of his clavicles, covered with the love marks Monet likes to leave on him, smudges of lipstick getting mixed with the black of his tattoos. His lips are swollen and covered with pink lipstick, so smudged that it's clear how it got there and it pains him to know that Luffy has seen him look like that and still made that soft expression once he kneeled down next to him.

As he stares at his own eyes, he wonders what the hell he's doing with his life, what's he's getting himself into without being able to turn his back and walk away. He should've never entered Bell-mere's that day, should've kept walking instead of stopping when he saw there was a WiFi network nearby, he should've stayed away from that street like it had the plague. His life would be so much better if only he had done so, would be so much simpler and uncomplicated.  _And it would also be so fucking boring_ , he thinks then and wants to punch himself, not his reflection, not the wall, but his own face, until he breaks his nose and starts spitting blood from his mouth, until his eyes are swollen and bruised, until he can no longer recognize himself. But he doesn't and, instead, he takes the gloves off and buttons his shirt all the way up, then tries to wash away the mess on his mouth with water and soap, scrubbing until he erases Monet's feeling completely and leaves behind only a slight bit of pain.

He passes out on the ouch right after, without a pillow underneath his head or a blanket to keep him warm, but he finds that he doesn't mind, that it doesn't matter, because as soon as he closes his eyes, he falls asleep.

He gets up to check on Luffy a few times later during the night, whenever he hears him mumble in his sleep, whenever he hears him move, even though he has a perfect view of the bed from his place on the couch.

.

.

.

The next day, Law wakes up with Chopper licking his face, and he groans when he opens his eyes and feels a headache building up inside of his brain. His back hurt when he tries to sit up and he has to move his head around to stretch his sore neck. As he checks the time on his phone, he's surprised to see that it's already way past midday and, as he looks up ahead, he notices that Luffy's still asleep, having got rid of most of the covers on top of him but kept Law's coat close to him. It's a beautiful image and Law's only brought back to reality when Chopper puts a paw on his knee, looking at him with such eyes that Law can't bring himself to stay mad at him for having woke him up.

"You want to go for a walk, isn't it?" Law mumbles down at Chopper that starts wiggling his tail enthusiastically in response.

Law sighs as he stands up, feeling the weight of every single limb, and heads to the bathroom to relieve himself first. He avoids looking at his reflection when he goes to wash his face with cold water or when he steals some of Luffy's toothpaste, using his index finger to clean his teeth the best as he can and trying to get rid of the weird taste inside of his mouth.

It's not hard to find Chopper's leash and it's only when he's about to leave that the thought that he should leave Luffy a note saying where he went crosses his mind, just in case he wakes up and freaks out when he finds himself alone, but he quickly decides against it. Instead, he puts his own hat next to Luffy's straw one, on top of the bedside table where he knows he will see it, and then gives him one last glance before leaving the apartment.

It's weird walking around the neighborhood with Chopper trotting next to him, sniffing the environment that he's still hasn't had time to get used to and basically dragging Law around even though he's a small dog. The day is too bright and the sun hitting his face only makes him sweat and glare at everything around him. He yawns a few times too many and wishes Chopper could just get over with it before remembering that he probably didn't even have a proper walk the day before. So he decides to let Chopper take all the time he wants and takes his phone out, firstly just to mess around with it, then remembering he should say something to Monet for having left without even thanking her, an apology of some sort. And that's what he does, not being surprised but annoyed when she takes a lot of time to pick up, she being that kind of person that likes to make small acts of revenge.

" _Well, well, missing me already?_ " She says after picking up, her voice playful but at the same time cold and distant. " _I was starting to think you wouldn't be man enough to call me, but I guess I was wrong. How's your friend?"_

"He's good," Law mutters in annoyance and doesn't give her more information than that. She doesn't need to know, and she surely doesn't sound that interested in Luffy's state either. "Listen, I-"

" _Don't bother, I know why you called. I'm not stupid, Law."_  It takes Law a minute to understand what's she's implying, and it makes him want to laugh then, to let out a snarky laugh from his mouth because everyone seems to know what he wants to say to them before he does, and it gets so much under his nerve that all he wants is to just end the call then, right at Monet's face. But, once again, he doesn't. He called with the intention of apologizing, and that's what's he's going to do, even after just now realizing that what he truly wanted was to tell her that he made a mistake, that he shouldn't have gone on a date with her last night, to mislead and use her like that, that he wasn't thinking then.

"I'm sorry," he says and he's sure she knows exactly what he's apologizing for because she lets out a small laugh, sharp and gruff, and it's weird how the words that followed don't match with her tone.

" _Don't worry about it, it's not like I had my hopes too high. But thanks for calling."_

"It's the least I could do."

" _I hope you'll still lend me your notes every now and then to take copies though."_

"Of course," Law says and he can feel Monet smile on the other side. "The same goes for you," he then adds, although both of them know that won't happen, he only trusts his own notes or his friends'.

They fall into silence then, and he feels weird when he realizes that he's actually going to miss her company, but at the same time not enough to make her stay in his life. She has become such an important part in his routine that it will feel odd when, in the future, he won't be able to call her just to release all his stress and anger while at the same time letting her do the same, to fuck restlessly and just collapse on her soft mattress right after, too exhausted to even think about the exams and all the things he still hasn't reviewed and memorized.

" _I hope you figure your things out,"_  she says then, and he doesn't respond that he hopes he can do that too because what difference would it make really. " _Goodbye, Trafalgar Law._ "

"Goodbye, Monet," he says and she hangs up before he even has time to realize he doesn't know her last name, has never bothered enough to ask, and it's weird how that basically sums up their relationship. They were not doing more than using each other to find quick pleasure and to forget momentarily about the reports and essays accumulating around them. However, as he puts his phone back inside of his pocket, he can't stop himself from feeling like he's letting a part of himself go, although it doesn't make him feel sad or empty, just relieved, like some of the weight on top of his shoulders has fallen. He feels the sudden urge to smoke then, to have nicotine inside of his system, but it's with dismay that he realizes that he has left his pack of cigars on the pocket of his coat, and he wants to laugh at how stupid he is. He looks down at Chopper instead, finding him already looking at him, his tongue hanging out of his mouth and it's almost like he's smiling, his tail still wiggling.

"Am I even doing the right thing here?" Law's crouches down in front of him, petting him behind his ears. He keeps his voice low, as if he's telling a secret he doesn't want the people walking down the street to know, and receives a bark and a lick on the face in response and if that's not reassuring he doesn't know what is. "Let's grab breakfast and see if Luffy-ya is awake already, yeah?"

.

.

.

He doesn't know what to think when he enters Luffy's building with two bags full of Chinese food because it was only when he was walking towards Bell-mere's to buy breakfast that he realized he should've been thinking about buying lunch instead. As he enters the apartment, he's surprised to see that everything looks exactly the same as it did when he left. The blinds are still mostly down and there's no sign of Luffy, so Law suspects he's still asleep.

He heads to the kitchen and puts the bags on top of the counter and then fills Chopper's empty food bowl while he drinks water loudly from the one right next to it.

When's Law's finished, he wonders if he should wake Luffy, opening the blinds for the sunlight to do just that, or if he should let him sleep and rest as much as he wants, even if that means letting him sleep until the sun sets down. He's hungry, so hungry, and he wishes he didn't go to that fancy restaurant where he ended up not eating practically anything last night.

He's heading towards the couch when he hears a faint and muffled "Law?" coming from the bedroom area.

"I'm here," he says, just loud enough for Luffy to be able to hear him as he does his way towards him. He finds Luffy curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed, covers thrown to the end of it but Law's coat being trapped in between his arms. Law suddenly feels his chest warm with the thought that he was cuddling it, probably felling Law's smell on it too.

"Hey," Luffy says when Law gets close enough, turning around to face him but keeping his knees close to his chest.

"How are you feeling?" Law asks while sitting at the edge of the bed, noticing how Luffy's face is swollen due to the amount of sleep and how a pillow mark runs down his cheek. However, he still looks so exhausted that it makes Law wonder if he feels rested at all.

"Better."

_You sure don't look like it_ , Law thinks as he watches him sit up and move slowly as if each one of his limbs hurt, but he decides not to comment on that. Instead, he tells Luffy that his cut needs to be disinfected and that his bandages need to be changed, in a tone that he hopes Luffy will notice he's offering his help but at the same time giving him enough space to refuse and do it by himself if he prefers. Law tries to suppress his enthusiasm when Luffy just responds by sticking his wounded arm out and putting it on his lap without saying anything and lowering his head like he's embarrassed but still giving him permission to take care of it.

The first-aid kit is still in the same place where he has put it, on top of the bedside table and next to both his and Luffy's straw hat. He notices Luffy looking at them with an expression he can't quite read, but his attention is quickly drawn back once Law starts to take the bandages off his arm. The cut underneath is not really that big and it's horizontal as he suspected due to the positioning of the pad, parallel to the older ones on his wrist, so it comes as a surprise that Luffy couldn't stop it from bleeding on his own when he clearly managed to do so with all the other times, but he decides to not comment on that either. He cleans the dry blood around the cut and disinfects it before covering it with antibiotic ointment, glad he made Luffy buy all that just a few days ago.

He tries to do it as gently as he can manage, but he still catches Luffy making a face. "Does it hurt?"

"Not really," Luffy responds, his voice low and rough, "I just hate looking at them."

"Why do you keep doing it then?" Law mutters before he can stop himself, not managing to suppress most of the anger he feels building up inside of him the more he looks at Luffy's wrist. He regrets it right after as he looks up and sees Luffy's face with a pained expression before he has time to bite his bottom lip and look down again.

"I don't know, it's just – sometimes it hurts so much on the inside that I feel the need to hurt myself on the outside too. It's like an obsession I can't get rid off. I thought moving out would help, but here I am, worse than ever," Luffy spits out, letting an ugly and abrupt laugh out, his voice sounding so disappointed and so frustrated that Law's afraid he will push him back and tell him to fuck off. But he doesn't. Instead just lets out a long sigh and leans closer, watching as Law carefully puts a new pad over his cut with frowned eyebrows and clenched teeth. "You know, it's just so satisfying to cut. It's one of the few times I feel like I'm in control."

Law waits until he's finished and throws the aid kit back to the top of the bedside table. "Do you feel like that now?" He asks and Luffy's let's out a snort, unpleasant and abrupt.

"No," he says between his teeth, taking his arm from Law's reach and inspecting his work before looking away. "I just feel like dirt," he adds and it's all it takes for Law to stand up, without saying anything and leaving Luffy with a questioning expression on his face behind.

He heads forward to the table in front of the couch and grabs a pencil case that he noticed before falling asleep on the small shelf underneath, feeling glad when he sees a big black marker inside and heading back. He motions for Luffy to extend his arm again and asks him to say the name of every single person that matters to him and that he's sure will be there whenever he needs them too. It's a risky move that could only make things worse if Law wasn't aware of Luffy's devotion to his friends and the other way around, if he wasn't aware of how much they mean to Luffy or how much they care for his safety. But he is, he's fully aware that Luffy's friends would cross ocean's for him if needed, even though he hasn't spent much time with most of them other than those awaiting hours in the hospital a few months back, so he avoids the skin where the cuts are only a few weeks old and the skin right around the pad but covers the rest with names, Luffy's voice cracking every time he says a new one for Law to write. He waits until Luffy's stops to examine his arm once more, this time for a different reason, and writes T. LAW right on the line where the wrist meets the palm before putting the marker away.

It's only then that Law notices the sudden change in Luffy's behavior. There's a shiny glimpse on his eyes and his teeth are clenching so hard that Law can see the faint shape of his molars, making his jawline look sharper. He sees him swallowing hard and notices how his chest stops expanding and contracting with the breathing, only for him to then have a harsh gasp for air, more like a sob. Law knows he's making him uncomfortable the more he stares, but he can't bring himself to look away from him, seeming so fragile and small and yet so fierce and determined to not cry and break in front of him, biting hard on his bottom lip for it to stop trembling. He contemplates the idea of leaving then, to go to his own apartment to take a shower and change clothes and maybe come back later on, letting Luffy have all the privacy and time he can get to cry it all out with only Chopper to see. It seems like the right thing to do, and yet he can't bring himself to stand up and leave Luffy's apartment, so he places one hand on Luffy's knee without saying anything, not pushing, not crossing boundaries, just keeping it there, but he still feels Luffy tensing up with his touch, letting out a shaky breath and biting so hard on his bottom lip that Law's not sure how it isn't bleeding.

"If you do that I won't stop crying," Luffy says then, so low that it's barely a whisper, and Law doesn't have to think twice before sitting up closer to him and embracing him with both of his arms in the most uncomfortable and awkward hug one can think of.

He feels Luffy tensing up under him then, getting so rigid that it's almost like he has turned into stone and just stopped breathing altogether. It crosses Law's mind that he's probably just making things worse, considering Luffy's reaction, but, as he's about to get away, he feels two hands on his lower back, grabbing his shirt like they're holding on for dear life, fingernails pinching trough it and onto Law's skin, and suddenly Luffy presses his face against his chest, breathing in so deeply that Law can't do more other than stay there completely immobile once he starts sobbing uncontrollably, not knowing if he should run a hand down his back or pet his hair. Law feels his own throat clenching as his shirt starts to get wet from Luffy's tears and when his cries start to come out as big and shaky sobs, his breathing so uneven that Law has to make his own come slower and deeper in an attempt to make Luffy focus on that to try and control himself. He hugs Luffy harder when his body starts trembling and doesn't mind when he just digs his fingernails deeper against his lower back or says anything when he starts blurting everything out with a shaky and muffled voice, a mess of feelings and emotions and thoughts that he accumulated and buried deep inside of him.

Law doesn't understand most of what Luffy says, or neither can he relate with the pain he's currently feeling, but he finds that it doesn't matter. There's nothing he could say that would make Luffy feel better, everything would sound dull, pathetic, shallow, so he keeps his mouth shut and just holds him close, breathing in his soft scent and resting his chin on top of the black mess of his hair.

He doesn't know how long they stayed tangled like that, but he forgets about how hungry he is, how tired he feels and how much his whole body and headache hurt due to the poor night of sleep. He forgets about himself altogether, too focused on the reactions of Luffy's small body when he starts scratching gently his scalp or when he adjusts his position so that he's turned fully to him, folding his leg slightly so that his hug is less uncomfortable for both of them.

He doesn't pull back when Luffy stops sobbing, or when he also adjusts his position to get closer to him, doesn't pull back when Luffy's nails stop digging on his skin or when he places his hands on Law's hips, barely a touch but at the same time making their presence known, doesn't pull back when Luffy brings his head up from his chest or when he buries it on his neck instead, making Law shiver and swallow hard once he feels the trace of his lips and his hot breath against his skin, doesn't pull back when he notices how intimate the whole hug becomes or when his heart starts beating so loudly on his ears that he's sure Luffy can hear it too. In fact, the only thing that breaks their embrace is the loud sound of Luffy's belly growling and demanding for food and they part away while laughing softly, sharing a smile only they know the meaning of and without needing to say anything.

Luffy's face is swollen and his eyes are red and puffy from crying, his hair is even messier than what it was before due to Law's fingers and he looks just so exhausted that it makes Law wonder what the hell is wrong with himself when the only thought that crosses his mind while looking down at him is how beautiful he is, how unique and how special.

"I've bought lunch," Law says after a while, leaning back, and he finds it amusing when he notices Luffy's eyes grow big in shook with the word lunch, perplexed about the fact he has missed breakfast.

They both stand up without saying a word, there was no need too, but Law still finds it awkward to walk towards the kitchen to grab the food while Luffy goes to the bathroom first in a rush, walking so clumsily it's like his whole body hurts. Law doesn't say he has cleaned the bathroom when Luffy comes out right after with his eyebrows slightly frowned and giving him a look of surprise, and neither does he say he has walked and fed Chopper when Luffy finds him sleeping peacefully next to his still mostly full bowl. Instead, he takes the food to the living room and places everything on top of the small table in front of the couch, almost not having enough space to put everything. He bought a bit of everything, not knowing what Luffy liked, and his wallet surely cried a bit. He goes open the blinds before sitting on the floor with his back against the couch and with his legs stretched underneath the table and Luffy joins him not long after, sitting with his legs folded underneath him and so close that his knee is practically on top of Law's thigh even though he had much room to sit anywhere else.

Law thought he had bought enough food to feed a group of four people, thinking that some of it would be saved for dinner but, while watching Luffy inhaling the food in front of him as easily a vacuum cleaner inhaling the dust, he realizes he should've bought more, way more, when the parcel that he managed to take away from Luffy reach to be able to eat anything at all doesn't do much to fill the hole in his stomach. Chopper joins them by the time the last spring roll is eaten, but he doesn't seem to mind much the fact that there's no food for him as he goes and sits in the space between Luffy's folded legs, managing to fit perfectly.

Law turns on the TV then, searching absently for a movie for both of them to watch and tries not to pay much attention to Luffy on his side, one hand stroking carelessly Chopper's back while the other types on his phone.

Luffy doesn't mention Law's text even though he's sure he has seen it just now, doesn't ask what Law wanted to talk to him about, and Law's glad he doesn't because he could no longer bring himself to ask him if Luffy was willing to have casual sex with him every once in a while, it would be too selfish from his part. But, at the same time, Law feels a sense of thrill rush through him as he realizes that, if Luffy did ask, he wouldn't be able to come up with a plausible excuse in time, and he almost laughs at himself when he looks sideways and notices that Luffy isn't giving two shits about his damn text and is, instead, calling someone that Law soon finds out is Nami, telling her he wouldn't be able to go work that afternoon. Law tries not to pay much attention to their conversation, but it's hard to do so when Luffy's right there next to him, so close that Law's able to hear Nami talking on the other side over the sound of the TV playing in the background. He hears Nami asking a bunch of questions, if Luffy's okay, if he needs company or anything at all, if he wants to take the day off on Sunday too, if he has eaten already, and hears Luffy mumbling short responses, not helping with making Nami any less worried about him.

Luffy ends the call without adding much, and throws his phone to the couch behind them, looking annoyed and sighing as if he has just accomplished a difficult task. As Law redirects his attention to the TV once more, he feels his phone buzzing against his leg and he's not at all surprised when he sees Nami's name splashed across its screen, and neither is Luffy when he shows him her text saying  **Could you please check on Luffy? He told me he wouldnt come to work today and Im worried.**

"Why is she like that?" Luffy groans after reading it, throwing his head back and rubbing his closed fists against his eyes.

"I would be worried too if you answered my questions like that," Law says and turns his head to him, smirking when Luffy brings one of his fists out and looks at him with just one eye in disapproval for having heard their conversation.

"But why would she even tell you to check on me? You, from all people."

"No need to sound so disappointed," Law says, playfully and putting his hand on his chest, making Luffy roll his eyes.

"I'm not disappointed, it's just-" He trails off, his hands falling onto Chopper's back once more but his head remaining on the couch, exposing all the length of his neck and Law can't stop himself from noticing how there's not one single mark there, not a bite, not a bruise, no nothing, and he feels his own heart shrink inside of his ribcage then, feeling utterly stupid once more. "I don't know why she keeps telling you to check on me like I'm a child. I told her to stop a while ago but, apparently, she thought it was temporary."

"It's different now," Law says and turns slightly his body to him, his thigh moving underneath Luffy's knee, "back then she told me to check on you because she couldn't manage to do it herself. She decided to try it and it worked. Now though, I think it's more because she doesn't like what you're doing but doesn't know how to tell you in the face."

"Do you mean, hum,  _this_?" Luffy asks, lifting slightly his wounded arm.

"Yes," Law responds, and watches as Luffy's face gets washed with a wave of momentary relief before adding "and all the rest too. She told me how you got your bruises."

Luffy seems pained and betrayed then, but not surprised, as if he was already expecting Nami to tell him about them. "Of course she did," he then mutters between his teeth, "she's so nosy."

"She cares about you, in a weird way," Law says and watches as Luffy's just sighs in defeat, looking tired.

"I know she does. But it's so damn annoying. She only told you because she never liked Lucci and thought you would do something about it," Luffy says and Law can't stop his face from flinching when he heard that name, as if knowing it suddenly makes the bastard more real.

"She referred he was not healthy for you," Law says and doesn't even try to hide the disdain on his voice, "but it's your life and you do what the hell you want with it, either she likes it or not."

"Tell her that," he hears Luffy saying before he turns his head towards the TV, looking at it with distant eyes and chewing on his bottom lip.

Law looks down on his lap then, noticing his forgotten phone still on his hands. He ponders about not saying anything to Nami, but he decides against it and just types  **Im already here** before throwing it away as Luffy did to his own, not even picking it up when he heard it buzzing again not long after.

"Me and him, we aren't a thing anymore," Luffy mumbles then, low like a confession but not looking away from the TV when Law turns his body once again to look at him. "That day I got those bruises was the last time I saw him, and I promised myself to never go to his house again. I guess I just lost my interest in him."

"You don't need to explain anything," and it's true, he doesn't, but at the same time Law can't stop himself from feeling relief, and he's sure that if Nami was there in front of him he would've laughed at her face, because she only knows things by half but acts likes she knows the whole picture. If it wasn't for her Law wouldn't feel angry enough to feel the need to call Monet, if it wasn't for her he would have come to Luffy's apartment to talk to him like he had intended and, who knows, their night could've unfolded in a totally different way, and he can't stop himself from feeling angry at her.

"I know, but I want to," Luffy says, finally looking at him and Law doesn't interrupt him when he starts explaining how of an asshole that Lucci guy is and how Nami was right about him not being a good person, doesn't interrupt him when Luffy explains how he was exactly what he needed all the times he went to his house because the guy didn't give to fucks about him and wasn't worried about saying the wrong thing or breaking him, doesn't interrupt when Luffy explains how aggressive he became after a while and doesn't interrupt when Luffy explains how he grabbed his neck too hard after he told him he didn't want to continue fucking around with him anymore. In fact, Law can't do more than nod at Luffy, encouraging him to keep talking while at the same time showing that he understands that feeling too well, the feeling of wanting to be with someone just for the sake of forgetting momentarily the problems around them.

Law holds Luffy's gaze after he's done talking, letting everything sink in, but doesn't miss the smirk that plays on his lips after giving Law an overall look, inspecting his clothes as if he hasn't done that a few times already. "Sorry if I ruined your fancy date," he then says, although he doesn't sound sorry at all.

"Don't be. I'm glad you did," Law says and Luffy seems genuinely surprised by that, tilting his head to the side, arching one brow at him. "I guess I lost my interest in her too."

"We're both equally fucked up when it comes to relationships, uh," Luffy mutters and Law can't do more than agree with him, noticing Luffy's sly smile right after. "I feel like relationships suffocate me, what's your excuse?"

"I don't have time or enough patience for them," Law responds without having to think twice and Luffy seems pleased enough with the answer for the conversation to end there, and they stay in silence long enough for Law to feel his eyelids become heavier and heavier.

He lets them fall close and tells himself that's he's still fully aware of his surroundings, that he's hearing the movie playing on the TV and that if anyone asked he would be able to explain what's happening on the screen without having to look at it. And it's true, he feels Luffy moving next to him, the touch of his knee disappearing from his thigh, and feels him laying down on the couch behind him, trying to do it quietly but still making too much noise while moving both phones to the top to the table. He hears him yawning loudly every once in a while and hears the sound of Chopper's paws hitting against the wooden floor as he trots away, probably towards the kitchen, and doesn't come back. He feels Luffy bringing his hand closer to him, feels his fingers run through his hair, so gently that Law wonders if he's imagining them there, and then feels Luffy tracing the contour of his face, touching his sideburns and his cheekbone and mumbling "I like those" with a soft voice that makes Law smirk and force himself to open his eyes.

"Can I ask two questions?" Luffy asks and Law turns his head just slightly enough to be able to him then, not needing to raise his head to notice how close it is to Luffy's chest, although there's a gap large enough for Luffy's hand to leave his face and rest on. Law nods in response. "What does the T. stand for?"

Luffy raises his hand then, showing the place where Law wrote his name, the black ink having blurred around the thin lines of his wrist, and it takes Law a minute to realize he never told Luffy about his surname. "Trafalgar."

"You mean I could be calling you Traffy this whole time?" Luffy says, teasingly and Law wants to knock him out of the couch then and smash his head against the floor.

"Does that count as your second question?" He says instead, and he knows he's glaring and sounding impatient because Luffy quickly shakes his head in response, although the smile doesn't leave his face, just fades away a bit.

"What did you want to talk to me about yesterday?"

Law hears himself sighing, he thought he had saved himself from that, but he should've known better, Luffy doesn't let things slip through that easily, and yet Law still tries his luck again. "It's not important now."

"But it was yesterday. Tell me," Luffy says, so innocently that it crushes Law's soul with embarrassment and he has a hard time trying to form coherent phrases inside of his brain, wondering how he thought he would even be able to do this under normal circumstances in the first place.

Law sighs and moves, standing on his knees right in front of Luffy, half curled in a ball. He feels his ass numb and his back complain when he bends down just enough to be able to rest his elbow on the edge of the couch, his chin resting on the back of his hand, blocking Luffy's vision to the TV.

"Let's make an alliance," he says then and Luffy arches his brows at him in disbelief, knowing full well that wasn't what Law wanted to tell him but not saying anything. "I help you out, and you help me out."

"Isn't that just a friendship?"

"No," Law says, trying to not let his frustration sip through his tone of voice, "this involves helping each other out in  _other_  ways too."

"I don't-" Luffy starts, stopping midsentence and straightening up, looking down at Law with an expression that he wasn't ready for. Law sees how his pupils dilate and how his lips break into a smirk, opening up just enough for Law to be able to see the tips of Luffy's teeth while he mutters a low and tempting  _oh_. "That sounds like a good deal," Luffy says then and Law doesn't think much before he too straightens and leans in just enough for the tips of their noses to brush each other.

He inspects Luffy's face, searching for any sign that could indicate that he's not realizing what Law wants out of this deal, and closes the gap between them when he doesn't find any, biting softly on Luffy's bottom lip as he has seen him do so many times already, hearing Luffy gasp as he brings his hands up to grab the back of Law's neck, pushing him down, closer, adjusting his position and parting his legs just enough for Law to fit in between. Law's hands fall on the top of Luffy's thighs then, grabbing them to keep Luffy in place while simultaneously helping himself retrain his balance, his thumbs pressing down on Luffy's hipbones and pushing him against the couch.

Law can't help noticing how their kiss seems different than their first one, it's less demanding and desperate, but deeper and slower as if they're exploring each other's mouths instead of conquering them, taking their time to run their tongues against every inch. They part away every now and then to be able to catch their breaths, keeping their faces so close that they end up sharing the same hot air, and Law can't stop himself from looking at Luffy's face while doing so, his cheeks all flustered and his eyes just barely open like he doesn't have enough strength to open them fully, too focused on Law's lips to look anywhere else, his hands sliding down from Law's hair to touch them with the tips of his fingers. Law feels his heart pounding loudly on his ears and his mind is all over the place, but he still senses something's different, Luffy doesn't seem as eager as before, although he's sure that if he leaned in again to kiss him he would respond without any resistance.

But he doesn't. Instead, Law kisses his eyelids, so gently that his lips barely touch them, then his forehead, wondering if he has a headache from all the crying and receiving a confirmation when Luffy just lets out a shaky sigh, realizing what Law's trying to say without needing any words.

"Sorry," Luffy mutters, his voice so low and rough that Law wouldn't be able to hear him if they weren't just a few inches apart.

"Don't be." Law smirks at him and gives him one last peek on his lips before sitting in the couch next to him, hoping that's enough for Luffy to realize that he understands, that it's not his fault if he's not in the mood, not after the emotional roller-coaster he just went through, that they can continue another day, take things slow.

They watch another movie, but this time they both pay attention to it and comment a few scenes, and it's weird because if it wasn't for Law's racing heart and the fact that Luffy's basically sitting on top of him, it would be like nothing had happened at all, and Law's not sure of what he should think of it.

Law doesn't even realize how he ended up not asking what triggered Luffy last night until later on, once he got back to his own apartment.

.

.

.

Law doesn't go to Luffy's place the next day, and neither does he go on Monday, being too focused on an essay he should've done with two other people but ended up doing all by himself at last minute. He went to Shachi's apartment instead, and camped there for one night, accepting his help and using his internet to be able to send his damn work right before midnight hit the clock. He ended up not getting much sleep, the adrenaline of being able to do the damn thing before it was overdue pumping so much inside of his system that, by the time he was able to close his computer in victory, he was feeling too ecstatic to just go to sleep. So he stayed up until way past three in the morning, eating snacks and telling Shachi how things ended up unfolding with Luffy, what they had agreed with, and Shachi just beams at him, asking too many questions and seeming genuinely curious about the whole thing, so much so that Law couldn't stop himself from feeling like a teenage girl telling her best friend about her crush while on a sleepover.

It felt good, just talking it all out, and Shachi didn't seem to have minded staying awake until late and even teased Law, calling him a sappy dumb ass, but all of that vanished by the time they both had to wake up to go to their morning classes, muttering curses under their breaths while finishing a box of children's cereal, not even having milk to accompany. Law ponders about missing class, and even expresses his thought out loud for Shachi to hear, but he shouldn't have, because as soon as the words leave his mouth Shachi just shoves him inside his car and drives them off towards the campus, speeding over the speed limit for them to be able to get to class on time.

He spends the whole day with his mind drifting off with sleepiness and fantasying with his own bed, counting down the minutes it would take for him to be laying there, comfortable and surrounded by darkness, and it's weird how, as soon as he was free from his last class, it was like all of that didn't seem to matter anymore. In fact, as soon as he stepped outside and looked at the dark grey sky above him, the only thing that crossed his mind wasn't how tired and sleepy he was feeling but how he could feel that it was going to be pouring rain later on, and he couldn't bring himself to stop smiling when Shachi asked him if he needed a ride home and he just responded that he would be heading to Bell-mere's instead.

He doesn't complain when Shachi insists on giving him a ride anyway, despite being his day off, doesn't complain when Shachi tells him that Luffy's in charge of closing the coffee shop that day, and neither does he complain when he sees the place too crowded for his liking, mostly because he sees that his spot is still free for him to occupy. He waves at Luffy while he passes by the counter to go to drop his backpack first and receives a grin in response.

"Hey there, Torao," Luffy says when he heads back and seems pleased when he sees Law's face flinching to the name.

"Torao isn't even close to Trafalgar, c' mon." Law can't stop himself from feeling utterly unimpressed.

"But I like the sound of it,  _Torao_ ," Luffy says and Law's doesn't miss how he lets the last word play over his tongue, moving his lips slow and teasingly, and Law wishes he could just reach out and bite them right there. "You want coffee?"

Law nods in response and leans against the counter base, watching as Luffy turns around to make his order and lets a few coffee grains fall onto the floor as he tries to refill the coffee machine. He finds it odd to now be able to check Luffy out without fearing any consequences other than the pointed look Luffy gives him when he turns around with his coffee on his hand, finds it too easy, and it's not like he's complaining, he just thought he would feel different, though he would feel some sense of thrill or, who knows, shame and embarrassment, but he doesn't, everything just feels natural.

He's still thinking about it when he goes sit on his corner, not needing to share more than a simple smile with Luffy, and when he's taking his computer out of his backpack just to have something to occupy his mind with. He doesn't do much, his eyes are too tired to be able to read anything on the screen, but he still tries to go through the files his professors had put available online, downloading and organizing them the best as he can manage, creating yet more files on his already too-slow computer. He watches as people come and go, noticing the place getting less and less crowded until only a few remain inside, too focused on their own work to pay any attention to Law as he looks at them, watches as Nojiko leaves the kitchen and passes behind Luffy, ruffling his hair playfully before waiving at Law and leaving the place, watches as Luffy starts to clean the counter and the coffee machine before it's even closing time, and he can't stop himself from feeling his blood pumping on his ears with anticipation, his palms getting sweaty, the itch between his lungs suddenly getting too overwhelming.

Law turns off his computer and rises to go help Luffy closing the place by the time the last customer leaves, Luffy closing the door right after, but he doesn't resist the urge of grabbing Luffy by his hips and planting a harsh peck on his lips first, felling the sweetness of stolen pastries on them and letting the strong smell of coffee fill his nostrils pleasantly. He doesn't do more before turning his back to Luffy and going to push the tables against the wall as he has seen Luffy do so many times by now, hearing him huffing behind him before joining in.

"So," Luffy starts, putting the last chair in place and then turning his body to Law, biting the inside of his cheek, "I heard it's going to rain tonight, wanna crash at my place?"

"Sure," Law mutters, trying to not sound like he was already planning on doing that.

He receives a grin in response as Luffy passes by him, heading to the counter. "Great! We can order pizza and take these pastries with us," he says, pointing at the display with his thumb.

They leave the place not long after that since the kitchen had already been sorted out by Nojiko before she left, and they order the pizza on the way, Luffy stating that he was starving and that it normally takes too long to be delivered anyway. Law notices how Luffy sets a fast pace then, although he isn't sure if that's due to the fact that he wants to get home before it starts raining, a few lonely drops showing that it's just a matter of time before it does, or if he's dying to push Law against the nearest wall and pin him there because that's surely the first thing that Law's going to do once they get rid of all the bakery boxes full with pastries that they're both carrying on their hands.

And that's exactly what he does, although it's not against the wall but up against the counter, and it's not right after putting down the bakery boxes but after Luffy's done petting and feeding Chopper. Law finds it works just as well when Luffy tangles his legs around his waist, bringing Law closer while devouring his mouth, hungry and desperately, his hands going everywhere with frantic touches, ghosting over Law's back and then his chest, making Law shudder before stopping on the back of his neck, pulling him down. Law feels his mind going blank, too overwhelmed with the touch of Luffy's hot tongue against his own to care about anything else other than angling his face so they can be slotted together more fully, pushing himself harder against Luffy's body.

They have to part away when the doorbell echoes through Luffy's apartment, loud and urgent, and Law doesn't manage to restrain a frustrated groan from leaving his mouth, Luffy panting just underneath him, their hot breaths being caught up in the small space between them.

"The pizza," Luffy says, close to his lips, his voice sounding so rough, so breathless, and just so good that Law has to dig in the hollow of his neck to inhale his scent and to prevent himself from kissing him again.

"Thought you said they normally take too long to deliver it," Law says, low, and doesn't miss Luffy swallowing hard, his Adam's apple moving against his lips.

"They  _do_ ," Luffy breaths out, his hands falling onto Law's shoulders, and he sounds just as frustrated with the interruption as Law feels. "I'm gonna go really fast, yeah?" He then mutters but doesn't sound too convincing or makes any move to leave, only digs his nails deeper on Law's shoulders and stretches his neck, offering it all for Law to take.

And God, Law would've have taken it, would've bite and suck the hell out of it until every bit of skin was covered with his own marks, would've made Luffy whimper and pant even harder against his ear, he would've, if the loud sound of the doorbell wasn't a painful reality, so he plants a sloppy kiss right underneath Luffy's ear and steps away, first only enough to take a good look at the mess he has turned Luffy into, then giving Luffy enough space for him to be able to slide off from the counter.

Luffy's hair is a mess and his cheeks have nearly the same color as his cardigan, it being all curled up over Luffy's stained uniform. His straw-hat had fallen from his head at some point and is hanging loose on his back and it's weird how the string holding it didn't bother Law at all. Law can't stop a sense of proudness from spreading inside of him the more he looks at Luffy because he was the one responsible for that.

"You can't go looking like that," Law concludes then, smiling when Luffy just looks at him with a confused expression, his head tilting to the side, "you look like sex."

"Yeah? Then you go." Luffy laughs, pushing him slightly towards the door, and Law doesn't have time to think about the playfulness of his tone before he's pushed out of the apartment, Luffy then standing on his tiptoes to take off Law's hat, positioning it on top of his own head instead and looking ridiculous. "I'm keeping your hat as a hostage, in case you think about running away with the pizzas."

Law runs down the stairs, taking two at a time and feeling like a kid, the sudden worry that maybe the person delivering the pizza may have given up on them and went away flashing through his head. He finds the man outside the building, looking pissed off and typing furiously on his phone, and his expression doesn't get any better as soon as Law opens the door to take the pizzas from him, in fact, it gets worse, him staring at Law from head to toe and then glaring at him once he stops on his face. It gets under Law's nerve, but he decides to let it slip through since the guy is probably just angry at him for having taken too long to open the door.

He finds fairly quickly that he doesn't have enough will power to go up four flights of stairs so he waits for the elevator and it's only when he's inside holding the pile of pizza boxes with both of his hands that he realizes the real reason why the guy was glaring at him, it's only then that he realizes why Luffy acted so funny and didn't argue at his statement. In fact, it's only when he's looking at his reflection on the old mirror in front of him that he realizes how he looks way worse that what Luffy did and he can't suppress a laugh from escaping his swollen lips. His cheeks are flushed and his shirt is a mess he can't even try to fix because both of his hands are occupied, he needs to shave and the usual dark circles under his eyes are still there, but he feels different, with more energy and revitalized as if he has just drunk five expressos in a row.

He tries to glare at Luffy once he gets back, but he finds that he can't, not after seeing him grinning from his place on the couch, surrounded by napkins and sodas, his cardigan and uniform having been replaced by a tank top that exposes all the length of his arms, Law's handwriting no longer covering them but the scars still being painfully obvious. He places a soft kiss on his exposed shoulder as he passes by to sit next to him, recovering his hat back and bringing the table closer to put the pizza boxes on top if.

They eat comfortably and joke around, stealing a few kisses every now and then, but Law still senses Luffy growing more and more tense once the night falls dark and silent outside and when it starts pouring rain, the water hitting hard against the windows. Law hasn't forgotten about the fact that Luffy doesn't like thunderstorms and he tries to brush his worries away while bringing him closer, tasting the spicy flavor of pepperoni on his mouth with soft kisses, then trailing the contour of his face with his tongue and sprawling his own legs for Luffy to climb on his lap like he has done before, only this time without any hesitation, any fear, and that seems to do trick, for a little while at least, until a loud thunder echoes outside and startles them both, leaving the apartment without any light.

Law hears Luffy catching his breath, his body getting rigid on top of him and his nails digging painfully on Law's neck, although he's aware Luffy's not even realizing it, him being too focused on looking to the window, preparing himself for another thunder that takes too long to happen, a striking lighting making its appearance first and barely giving Law enough time to register the panic covering Luffy's face before they're swallowed by darkness again.

"It's okay, I'm here," Law whispers next to his ear, using one hand to gently caress Luffy's lower back while trying to find his forgotten phone on the couch next to him with the other, ending up finding Luffy's phone as well. He turns on the flashlight on both of them and gives one to Luffy. "Grab Chopper and go to the bathroom, I'll be there in a minute."

Luffy does what he's told without complaining, calling faintly Chopper's name along the way, and Law rushes with closing all the blinds, blocking the lightning but not managing to do much about the thunder noises. He grabs his headphones from his backpack and all the pillows and blankets that he could carry, dragging them to the bathroom and finding Luffy just standing there in front of the sink, holding Chopper close to his chest and seeming lost. He throws everything inside of the bathtub and asks if Luffy has any candles around, then heading to the kitchen to search for them and ending up bringing a few snacks with him too. The whole process of lighting the candles and organizing the pillows and blankets inside of the bathtub to make it more comfortable only takes a few minutes, but it's weird how it seems to take far longer.

The bathtub is small and doesn't do a great job at fitting them both, but they make it work, Law sitting perpendicularly with his legs sticking out and Luffy curling himself in the remaining space, pressed against Law's side, Chopper opting for staying laid on top of the rug, eyes closed but ears alert. The thunders bang loudly outside, making the whole apartment tremble, and Law keeps Luffy close, stocking his shoulder and watching how his closed eyelids twitch every time, hearing the music that comes from the headphones Law has handed him.

The thunderstorm is massive and it takes a while to fade away, the thunders starting to be less frequent and farther apart from each other but the sound of the rain being a constant presence. At some point, Luffy changed his position, laying his head on Law's lap and stretching his legs along with the bathtub. He played with Law's hands for a while, feeling their weight and tracing the contours of Law's tattoos with his fingers before moving to his forearm, and Law couldn't help but smile down at him when he saw the amazed look on Luffy's face.

"I have more," Law says, removing one of the headphones form Luffy's hear for him to be able to hear him, and Luffy just looks up at him, a shiny glimpse flashing across his eyes.

"Can I see them?" Luffy asks, lifting up and folding his legs underneath him. He seems genuinely curious and Law couldn't bring himself to say no even if he wanted to, so, instead, he takes his shirt off, struggling a bit due to his position and shivering once he leans back against the cold bathtub.

He shows Luffy the tattoo on his chest first, then the one on his back, even though the angle wasn't the best one. It feels very intimate, romantic even, the way Luffy comes closer to take a proper look at his chest, touching the black lines with the tips of his fingers and leaving a burning trace behind. Other people whom he has slept with have liked his tattoos before, Monet was one of them, but Law has never felt so wanted in his entire sexual life and Law can't stop himself from feeling exposed under Luffy's gaze.

"Our alliance involves sex too, right? Or is it just the kissing?" Luffy asks, not lifting his eyes from Law's chest and so low it gives Law goosebumps.

"If you're okay with that," Law responds, and he finds it hard to look away from Luffy's face, illuminated by only the faint yellowish light from the candles, strategically placed around the bathroom.

"I am  _more_  than okay with that," he mumbles, getting closer and looking at Law from under heavy lashes, parting his lips when Law brings his hand up to touch them with his thumb, "but are you?"

"I learn fast," it's all that Law manages to say and it's true, he may be completely inexperienced with fucking another guy, and the thought of it may startle him a little, but it's not like that can't be solved with practice,  _lots and lots of it_.

Luffy seems pleased with the answer, giving Law a sly smile before taking his thumb inside of his mouth, sucking it without breaking eye contact and swirling his hot tongue around the tip, making Law's cock twitch inside of his pants with the vision. He lets Law's thumb slide out with a painfully slow movement, then bringing his face next to Law's ear, playing his tongue over his earrings. "If only Chopper wasn't here," he purrs, moving away too soon, making Law groan with frustration.

"You're the devil."

"I'll make you change your mind later," Luffy says, grinning and Law's glare only makes it grow larger. A thunder bangs in the distance then, making Luffy sigh and return to his initial position. "I mean, how many more interruptions could we possibly get, right?"

Law doesn't bother putting his shirt back on. The bathroom is cold but he feels his skin burning hot, his blood boiling inside of his system with anticipation and it's like he's a horny teenager all over again. He tries to control his heart and his cock when Luffy's head falls onto his lap again, but Luffy still gives him one knowing smirk.

He doesn't realize how they both end up falling asleep with the sound of the rain playing in the background until much later that night when he wakes up, shivering and with half of his body numb due to the uncomfortable position. It takes him a while to remember where he is, his mind too drowsy with sleepiness. The bathroom is mostly dark, only one candle remaining lit and not managing to do much to illuminate the place on its own, but there's light coming from under the door and it's with a slow realization that he awakes Luffy, telling him the thunderstorm is gone. It's hard to get out of the bathtub, and he almost steps on Chopper while doing so, him not even making a move to get out of the bathroom while they attempt to grab all the pillows and blankets and take them to their rightful place on the bed.

The lights make Law's eyes hurt and his head spin once he steps out, so he turns them off and opens one blind, just enough to be able to check the now clear dark sky outside as a precaution and to let the illumination from the street enter through the window. He makes his way towards Luffy's bed like he's drunk, his body feeling so heavy and so sore that the mere act of walking is a burden. But then there are two hands pressed against his chest, demanding, pushing him backwards until he feels a soft mattress against his back, the bed creaking with his sudden weight, and Law only has time to slightly lift his head to see Luffy taking off his straw hat and crawling on top of him, lust filling his eyes and seeming nothing more than predatory before taking Law's mouth in an urgent kiss, Luffy's lips so demanding that Law's sleepy brain takes a few seconds to register everything. Law responds to the kiss just as hungrily then, and Luffy groans against his mouth, loud and throaty, rocking his hips against him and arching his back.

Law brings his hands to grasp at the bottom of Luffy's tank top, feeling the urge to see him, to touch more skin, but Luffy responds by pulling his mouth away from his. "I have a scar," he pants out, looking at Law with needy and unfazed eyes, his face all flustered but seeming unsure, "it's ugly and-"

"No," Law cuts, bringing one hand up to cup Luffy's face and watching as he melts under the touch and turns to give him one open-mouthed kiss on the palm. "I wanna see it. I wanna see all of you." Law tries again, bringing his hand back down to Luffy's hips and feels pleased when, this time, Luffy doesn't offer resistance and instead straightens his back so Law can tug his tank top up and then off more easily.

Law keeps him sat on his lap, holding his hips and taking in just how beautiful Luffy looks on top of him before reaching out and kissing Luffy right in the center of his chest, tasting the rough scar against his lips and not resisting the urge of sliding his tongue over every inch of it, feeling Luffy catching up his breath and shivering underneath his touch, arching and offering all of himself for Law to take, his hands tucking and pulling softly at Law's hair, taking off his hat.

"I want to blow you," Luffy whispers when Law moves his head up, sucking at the hollow of his throat and not managing to do more than mumble in agreement before being shoved once more against the mattress.

Law feels his heart rate climbing as Luffy's fingernails skim down his chest and then down his abdomen, making his muscles twitch involuntarily. Luffy bends down and kisses him, hard and hungrily, and Law can feel his boxer briefs getting wet with his own pre-cum as Luffy reaches out to open the zipper of his pants, slithering his hand under Law's waistband and curling his fingers around his cock, squeezing it gently before taking it out with a smooth movement. He feels his lungs burning and has to close his eyes, cursing under his breath when Luffy's starts doing the same process now with his mouth, feeling overwhelmed when Luffy plants wet open-mouthed kisses all the way down, stopping at Law's hipbone before pulling away just long enough to rip one packet of condoms open and slide it gently over his cock, getting rid of Law's pants and underwear right after.

Luffy takes his time looking at Law with his mouth slightly open before bending down, so slowly it's agonizing, grabbing Law's thighs before ducking in between them, touching his left inner thigh with his mouth, biting softly the skin with his teeth. He licks the head of Law's cock, swirling his tongue around it, and then licks down the length and Law's sure that Luffy knows how he's killing him, but he can't do more than call Luffy's name and curse, his voice sounding so broken and so desperate that it's humiliating. Luffy pulls back again and takes a good look at him, smirking when he sees the mess he has turned Law into. Law feels his toes curl and his hips twitch and rise from the mattress involuntary, demanding for attention, but Luffy just holds him back down and teases him a bit more, going lower and slowly licking his balls, sucking them into his mouth one at a time before sliding the flat of his tongue back up, finally bobbing his head up and down and taking Law's cock deeper inside of his mouth every time.

And it's too much, too hot, too wet and so much better than any fantasy that Law could've possibly come up with, and it takes all of his will power to not come right there, pulling gently at Luffy's hair and just holding his head in place but allowing him to trail the shaft with his tongue one last time before crawling back on top of Law, reclaiming Law's mouth once more. The taste of the latex on Luffy's lips isn't that great but knowing they've sucked him off makes up for it and Law lets himself get drown on them once more.

"You look so good," Luffy mutters against Law's lips and positions himself better on his lap.

Law feels the outline of Luffy's cock then, hot and hard against him, demanding for attention, so he unbuttons his shorts and shoves his hand inside without ceremony, making Luffy moan against his mouth and gasp as Law's takes out his cock and starts stroking it clumsily, the angle not helping his movements. He doesn't like it when Luffy stands up to take off his shorts and underwear out of the way, doesn't like the sudden loss of his weight on his lap, but it only takes a few seconds for Luffy to be settled on top of him once more, pressing Law against the mattress with his hands while rocking his hips, grinding their clocks together so agonizingly slow that Law has to grab him by the back of his skull and pull him down, pressing his mouth against Luffy's neck and biting its skin hard enough to make him gasp for air as a warning for him to stop with the teasing, jerking his hips forward in urgency for Luffy to realize just how close to coming he is.

Law feels his whole body burning from the inside out, moving his hands frantically through Luffy's body, wanting to touch everything and stopping on the swell of his ass, squeezing it hard enough to hurt Luffy just right. Law's the first one coming, not managing to hold any longer, and he holds Luffy's gaze as he does so, watching as he bites hard on his bottom lip but doesn't stop grinding against him.

He slides his hand in between them then and starts to stroke Luffy's cock, watching with delight as Luffy starts to fuck himself against his hand, panting and whimpering Law's name until he too comes on top of him, mouth falling open in a gasp and squeezing his eyes shut. Law continues stroking him through his orgasm, come dripping from his fingers and onto his belly, warm and sticky, and holds him close when he bends down to catch his breath, exhausted, sweaty, and just a pure mess of limbs.

"That was hot," Luffy mutters against the crook of Law's neck, his voice shaky and uneven, and Law can't do more than plant a sloppy kiss on his temple, mumbling in agreement, and feeling Luffy smiling against his skin.

They stay like that until the cum on Law's belly starts to get uncomfortable, and he curses as he slides from underneath Luffy's warm body and heads to the bathroom, taking off the condom and cleaning himself with a wet cloth. He doesn't waste time with putting on his underwear and instead lets his body fall against Luffy's soft mattress, bringing the covers up to cover both of them. He notices Luffy smiling at him with a sleepy face, snuggling closer after Law's done finding a comfortable position, feeling his body heavy and tired.

"Did I change your mind?" Luffy mumbles quietly next to him, almost like a whisper, him already half-asleep and barely keeping his eyes open.

"You blew it away," Law responds and the last thing he hears is Luffy laughing sheepishly and softly before drifting into deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that everyone has a story, some people just have a more interesting plot than others.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there^^
> 
> I hope you and the ones close to you are all safe and healthy, and I also hope that this story can, at least for a little while, distract you from all the chaos happening right now and make your time closed at home a bit less insufferable, if that's your case. We're going through a crazy-ass historical event.
> 
> Anyway, I've been writing this chapter for a while now, and it's frustrating how much time it took me to finish it. I'm currently at home with my family for almost three months now and, as much as I love them, I hate living with them, especially now that I've got used to living on my own far away due to college. I'm anxious and nervous all the time, and my professors are going nuts with the amount of work that they ask for. So yeah, I've been writing this on the few and short gaps of free time that I have, as a way of distracting of sorts, so I apologize if it doesn't have the same quality as the previous chapters ^^' 
> 
> On an important note, his chapter will contain sexual content and, since I'm not really that used to writing smut, if you find any inaccuracy or mistake please warn me so I can correct it right away.
> 
> Also, I don’t usually do this, but let me just recommend to you all the playlist that I’ve been listening to while writing this chapter. It’s not really my jam but I found that it helps me calm down and focus, so perhaps you may find it helpful as well. You can find it on Youtube: Dark Forest (2017) by alexrainbirdMusic.
> 
> I hope you enjoy^^

It's the sunlight that wakes him up.

He feels a headache building at the back of his bed when he tries to reluctantly open his eyes, finding his eyelids heavy and his vision blurred. It takes him a while to remember where he is and what happened, his brain still drowsy with sleepiness, but then he smiles down at Luffy, curled into a ball next to him with his face pressed against his shoulder blade to try and block the sunlight, Luffy's breath hot and steady against his skin.

Law lets himself stay there for a while, just looking up at the ceiling, feeling tired but not wanting to try and sleep a little more, knowing full well that it would be impossible, and instead he lets his mind play what happened during the previous night, let's himself remember how good Luffy looked on top of him, how good he felt, how warm his skin was, how different from what he was expecting it all turned out to be. He was expecting it to feel weird, foreign, but it didn't, everything just felt  _normal_ , and Law doesn't know what to think of that. Part of him was expecting him to not like it, to not enjoy it as much as he did, was expecting him to feel disappointed, ashamed even, but he couldn't bring himself to feel any of those things, couldn't bring himself to pretend that he did and just walk away. In fact, as he looks at Luffy's peaceful face, he finds that he cannot bring himself to pretend that he doesn't want to repeat that again, that he doesn't want to continue his alliance with him, that he doesn't want to discover more things about what he likes and what he doesn't like, that he doesn't want to explore things a little bit more, to take them a little bit further, and so Law shoves his thoughts into the back of his mind and hopes that he's not making the biggest mistake in whole his life, hopes that he's not throwing himself into a path without it having a way out for him to take if needed.

He doesn't know for how long he stayed there, just resting with Luffy pressed against his side, but it feels like too little, and it's with annoyance that he hears his alarm filling Luffy's apartment with a loud and strident sound. He feels Luffy moving next to him, groaning and complaining about the sudden noise, telling Law to turn it off before rolling to the other side of the bed, burying his face on a forgotten pillow and leaving Law missing the warmth of his body. Law stands up then, finding his body too heavy to move, too tired to just even take a few steps towards the sound of his phone, hidden somewhere inside of his pants pocket, laying on the floor shamelessly. As he picks it up to turn it off, he finds it quite surprising how it still has a good amount of battery to last him for the rest of the day, if he doesn't use it much, but that thought is quickly washed away when he notices the time and remembers how he has important morning classes that he needs to attend to.

Law sighs as he runs a hand over his face, picking at the bridge of his nose as he looks at the mess underneath him, his clothes getting misled with Luffy's, all wrinkled from being thrown to the floor without a care and in a rush.

"Do you have to go already?" He hears Luffy ask behind him, his voice rough and low, barely audible. As Law turns around, he finds Luffy staring at him with only one eye open, half of his face being pressed and hidden against a pillow, him laying down on his belly but with one leg sticking out of the covers, exposing his skin all the way up to his thigh in an inviting sort of way, and Law has to avert his eyes away when he notices Luffy smirking at him, knowing full well what he was doing.

"Yes," Law mutters in response, and Luffy just huffs in response, seeming annoyed and disappointed. "I have classes," he ends up adding as a justification, although he knows that he doesn't need one.

"Boring," Luffy says before moving again, rolling to his back and getting most of his body uncovered, his skin glowing, and for a moment Law wishes he could just go back to bed, wishes he could just stay there all day with him, comfortable and warm, but he can't, and he has to remind himself of that a few times before being able to pick up his clothes from the floor, holding them close to his chest and not minding with covering his own dick while doing so, because two can play that game and he sure is not missing Luffy staring at it.

"Can I take a shower?" Law asks and he is not surprised when Luffy just looks at him as if the answer is obvious. "And can I borrow a shirt?"

"I dunno if I have one that fits you," Luffy says then, sighing and raising up, fully naked, and Law has to fight the urge to not look away, has to remind himself that he's allowed to look now, that it is what Luffy wants, that it is just him being a little fucker and teasing him as he passes by Law, slowly, deliberately, then searching on a drawer without really paying that much attention to the clothes there, grabbing a black shirt and throwing it at him. "Now go on already, I don't want you to be late because of me." He slaps Law's ass, giving him a wink before getting back inside the bed, rolling himself under the covers like a slug.

Rolling his eyes, Law puts his own clothes and Luffy's shirt on top of the drawer, not minding putting them even half folded. He does his way towards the bathroom then, feeling the smooth wood underneath his feet turn into cold tiles, and he doesn't wait for the water to start running hot before he steps inside of the bathtub, standing underneath the water springs and letting the cold water run down his body, waking him up, making him feel fresh and clean. He ends up using Luffy's shampoo and Luffy's soap, and it's weird to think about how he will smell like him during the day, to think about about how he will have a constant reminder of him on his own body. He grabs Luffy's toothpaste from a cup on the sink and puts some on his index finger, trying to get rid of the morning breath that he's sure he has, scrubbing his teeth with his finger and knowing full well how he's doing a terrible job at doing so.

Once he gets out, he realizes how he didn't ask Luffy for a clean towel, and so he has to search around for one on the cupboard under the sink while simultaneously trying to not get the whole floor soaked wet. He grabs two white ones, folded into fat rolls, and then puts one on top of his shoulders, whipping faintly the rest of his body with the other one before wrapping it around his waist once he's done. He tries to look at himself in the mirror in front of him, tries to see how much of a mess he is, but he finds that he's not able to see much due to the humidity and the fog covering it, and so he gives up without much care.

He leaves the bathroom, checking midway if he's leaving a wet foot trail behind and not noticing any, and then goes to the bedroom area once more, finding Luffy still in the same position but now with Chopper curled on his side, his ears coming up and tail starting to wiggle once he sees Law approaching the bed, but overall not making a move to get closer to him. Law grabs the clothes from the top of the drawer on the way and throws them to the end of the bed by Luffy's feet, trying not to pay much attention to Luffy when he starts drying his hair with the towel on his shoulders, rubbing it over his head and turning his hair into a mess while doing so, tries not to feel analyzed by his stare, burning holes on his skin, tries not to get self-conscious with the intensity of it.

"You're hot, you know," he hears Luffy mutter after a while, and Law can't stop himself from giving him a lopsided smile afterwards, looking at him while finishing drying his hair, giving it a few more harsh shakes with the towel before putting it back on top of his shoulders. "Your tattoos are really cool too."

"Thank you," Law simply says, noticing his chest warming up but deciding to not think too much about it, after all he's proud of his tattoos and he has always enjoyed it when people seem to like them as well, that feeling not being new to him.

Law starts dressing himself then, and it feels weird to be putting back on his used underwear, almost as if he's getting dirty once again, too fast and too soon, but he tries to not give it too much importance, taking a mental note to change it as soon as he gets back inside of his own apartment. The shirt Luffy handed him ends up having the perfect size for him, having a faded tone of black signaling too many washes, the fabric of it being soft and pleasant against his skin as if it has already been used too many times in the past. Luffy's stays quiet during the whole process, not moving a limb, not saying a word and, for a moment, Law wonders if maybe he has fallen asleep again but, as he turns in his direction, he finds him already looking at him, his big brown eyes watching his movements intently. It should make him uncomfortable, Law realizes then, but it doesn't, and in fact it only makes Law grow curious, tilting his head to the side just slightly and arching an eyebrow at him, watching as Luffy sits up to level their eye contact, the sheet covering him falling down and exposing his chest, his dark scar striking out on his skin but Law not looking at it for too long.

"Can we make rules in the alliance?" Luffy asks after a while, slowly, and Law finds the question odd, although he decides not to comment on it and instead just shrugs, sitting on the bed to put his socks and shoes on, waiting for Luffy to continue and then looking at him when he doesn't do it right away. "From now on, you're only allowed in my place without a shirt. Unless it's really cold, then you have an excuse."

Law blinks at him, looking at his face and at his ridiculous bed hair to try and make sense to his words, then resuming himself with laughing at him, shaking his head in disbelief before he realizes that Luffy is actually being serious, looking at him dead in the eye and not flinching when Law just rolls his eyes at him and at his rule. "Alright, fine. I accept it."

Luffy gives him a smile in response, big and bright, seeming pleased with his answer before letting himself fall backwards against the mattress once more, the bed creaking with the sudden movement. "You should have a rule too," he adds, stretching his arms over his head and yawning loudly. "So that we're equal."

"I'll think about one for myself then," Law says, standing up awkwardly and grabbing the towels to go put them in the bathroom, hanging them loose on the hanger behind the door next to a few others.

It's only when he's doing his way back again that he notices how heavy his feet feel, it's only when he puts his used shirt inside of his backpack that he realizes how he doesn't know how he should leave without looking like a douchebag, just walking away after fucking around, it's only then that he realizes how he doesn't know what he should say for it not to be awkward. In fact, it's only then that he realizes how he has never once had a problem with leaving after a one night stand, how he never once felt the need to say anything to Monet, for example, before going away, sometimes leaving her still sleeping on her bed and without waking her up, and yet here he is, standing awkwardly in the middle of Luffy's living room, wondering if he should say something about last night, wondering if he should say anything at all or just leave casually as if nothing had happened, wondering if-

"Hey, Torao," he hears Luffy say, bringing him back to reality, pulling him away from his thoughts, "we should do this more often."

And he wants to laugh after that really, not at Luffy but at himself, feeling utterly ridiculous, but he doesn't, and instead he can't stop himself from noticing how a sudden weight falls off of his shoulders then, because Luffy's like that, because he's simple, uncomplicated, and Law wishes he could be a little more like him, wishes he could just not overthink about small things, so he runs a hand through his still wet hair and nods at him, hoping that Luffy understands how much he wants to repeat last night too without him having to say anything at all.

He grabs his things then, giving Luffy a smile before leaving, closing the door being him and going down the stairs instead of picking the elevator. And Law can't help but feel weird once he's doing his way towards campus, already late but not minding it one slight bit, realizing how many times he has done that exact same walk of shame but how he never once has felt so revitalized while doing so, smiling at the pavement in front of him without a care in the world, like an absolute idiot.

.

.

.

When he arrives at his first class, he is well beyond late and he has to content himself with seating in the last row of seats, at the end of the classroom with people he doesn't know the name of and probably never will, noticing his friends sitting up in the middle row and with an empty seat besides Shachi, one that Law knows it's meant for him. He contemplates the idea of standing up and doing his way towards them then, but he doesn't, knowing he would only catch the professor attention and disturb the class even further, and so instead he stays still on his seat, taking a few loose sheets and a pencil from inside of his backpack to start writing some notes, his mind taking a while to catch up with what the professor was trying to explain. She talks fast, really fast, and just so low that it's hard to hear her when she gets too far away, she liking to walk around the room while talking, gesticulating so much with her hands that it's distracting. His hand tries to keep up with the amount of things she says, his handwriting getting uglier and messier with each phase, but after some time he gets tired, fatigued, his brain suddenly blocking her existence altogether and him not managing to write down anything more, although as he looks at the three pages he managed to scribble he feels satisfied with himself.

He contents himself with looking at her for the rest of the duration of the class, crossing his arms in front of his chest and just leaning back against his chair, trying to at least hear what she's saying and hoping some of it will stick inside of his brain without him having to write it down. It doesn't take long for his mind to start wandering off though, his focus not lasting as long as he was hoping it would, his thoughts suddenly turning into something completely different from the subjects leaving the professors mouth, still looking at her but at the same time not being able to register any word she says.

It's without realizing it that he grabs the top of his shirt and brings it up to cover his nose, him then just closing his eyes and taking in Luffy's scent on it. He smells like Luffy, all of him, from his skin to his hair, smelling like Luffy's shampoo and Luffy's soap, and he can't stop himself from smiling, can't stop himself from feeling lighter, calmer, and it's weird how he doesn't realize the class finishing until he hears the loud noise of people standing up and leaving, chatting with each other all the way out of the classroom without even noticing Law still sat there, without even paying him any mind as they pass by.

Law notices his friends in the crowd then, making their way up the stairs from their place in the middle of the room to the main exit door just behind him, and they too seem to look right through Law, to not notice him just standing there, waiting for them with his backpack hanging on only one of his shoulders, but Shachi notices him then, when he's close enough, and so do Penguin and Jean not long after, smiling and greeting him almost as if they haven't seen him in days.

They make fun of Law for being late, stating that it is unusual of him, and he wants to object , wants to tell them that they're wrong, that in fact he's been arriving later and later to his classes, that he has been ditching more than what he has been attending. But he doesn't, he keeps his mouth shut and just rolls his eyes when they laugh it off, noticing how Shachi inspects him from head to toe, taking special attention on the shirt that he's wearing and giving Law a knowing look, although he doesn't make any sort of comment, just lifts on eyebrow at him.

Law ignores him and ends up following them to their next class, having to cross a great part of the whole campus just to go from one building to the other, walking behind them like he's numb, mechanically and without paying much attention to his surroundings. He sits in between Jean and Penguin and having them on both of his sides turns out to be useful, turns out to be quite helpful for his brain to focus on the professor for longer than what it did on his first class, him being able to take a sneak peek at Jean's notes every once in a while when he misses a specific idea or forgets the right word used by the professor, his brain not getting overwhelmed and confused but still being tired and sleepy by the time the class comes to an end.

Shachi ends up insisting on giving all of them a ride afterwards, all of them following him to the nearby parking lot where he parked his car, poorly between two trees, almost going up to the sidewalk. Law sits on the passenger seat next to him, crossing his arms in front of his chest and watching as his friends as well, Shachi almost hitting the nearest car while making his maneuvers. Law watches as they leave the campus and get misled into the traffic that always seems chaotic at that hour, some people trying to get home to have lunch, some leaving and being already late to get back to work. Shachi leaves Jean near the subway station, stopping in the middle of the road just long enough for him to exit the car and wave a goodbye at them, but even so the car behind them honks furiously and loudly, Law seeing the driver twitch his face and move in hands in disgust through the rearview mirror. Shachi sticks his middle finger out of the window for him, before driving away towards Penguin's neighborhood in a rush, grabbing the wheel with too much force and glaring at the road in front of him. They leave Penguin right in front of his apartment's building, and it's with annoyance that he realizes how Shachi was just waiting for them to be alone to start mocking him. It starts with Shachi giving him sided looks every once in a while, keeping his mouth shut but being plain obvious that he wants to say something, and it only gets more and more under Law's nerves as each second passes by.

"So," Shachi starts, taking longer than what Law expected him to, keeping his focused on the road but smirking, "did you use protection?" Law just turns his head to him, glaring so much that he can almost see the outline of his own eyebrows covering his eyes, and Shachi just looks at him and laughs, hard and loudly like he has heard the funniest joke in the world. "I was just making sure, you said your brain doesn't work properly with him after all."

Law rolls his eyes, sighing in defeat and not wanting that conversation to go any further, feeling a headache building up at the back of his head. "I don't get  _that_  dumb."

Shachi snickers at him, and then stays quiet for a while, paying attention to the road in front of him as they enter the madness of the traffic once more. "Did you guys do it then?"

"I'm not telling you anything, Shachi," Law says in between his teeth.

"Did you try the -" Shachi says, raising one of his hands from the wheel and gesturing it around in front of him in a weird movement that Law just watches from the corner of his eye, him stopping before Law turns fully to him, glaring at him once more. "Alright, alright, I'll stop." Shachi raises both of his hands in surrender, momentarily, they quickly falling back to their place around the wheel.

It doesn't take long for Law to start seeing the buildings of his own neighborhood appear on his vision after that, Shachi driving by them way faster than what was legally permitted, and he couldn't be more relieved when Shachi finally pulls near the sidewalk and doesn't seem about to follow Law into his apartment.

"But he did blow you, didn't he?" Shachi asks when Law's picking his backpack from the space in between his legs and the seat, grinning and turning fully to him, wriggling his eyebrows in such a disturbing way that the whole thing catches Law by surprise, him suddenly finding himself unable to form a proper response besides opening the door and stepping out. " _Oh my God_ , he did!" Shachi gasps, "how am I supposed to share a shift with him now? I'll just picture him in betwe-"

"Shut up already!" he hisses, annoyed, slamming the door shut, and Shachi does, although Law can hear him laughing out loud until he's far away from the car, far away from him, his feet hitting furiously against the pavement, echoing through the street as he does his way towards his building.

And he finds it weird really, how the whole thing doesn't annoy him as much as it should, how Shachi questions don't make him mad as much as they should, how it doesn't make his blood boil or the veins on his temple and neck pop with rage. Instead, he feels his chest warming up, his head getting dizzy, and, as he looks in the dirty and old mirror of the elevator, he realizes that he's smiling, despite the bags underneath his eyes, despite the whole exhaustion on his face, despite the stubble growing on his cheeks, and he can't stop himself from feeling  _different_. When he opens his apartment's door, it's almost like he's entering it for the first time, almost like he's entering a foreign land, despite living there for years now, it feeling lonely, cold, miserable, and for the first time that day he's finally alone with his own thoughts, letting them overflow his mind freely.

The first thing he does is to dump his backpack somewhere on the floor as he does his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth properly, scrubbing them until it hurts, until his gums bleed, until the foam of his toothpaste becomes pinkish when he spits it out, it sliding down the sink and disappearing down the drain. As he looks at his reflection, seeing the mess of his face and the mess of his hair, he contemplates the idea of taking another shower, contemplates the idea of just staying under the water springs and feel it run down his skin, but he doesn't, remembering Luffy's scent on him, not wanting it gone just yet, and so he just leaves the bathroom altogether, getting rid of his clothes as he does his way to his bedroom and throwing them to the floor, without care, without minding at all. He closes his bedroom's door behind him, despite living alone, despite not having anyone there, and just stands in the middle of the room, surrounded by the light darkness provided by his cheap blinds, more broken and rugged than anything and barely even blocking any sunlight from the outside.

He takes off Luffy's shirt then, but instead of throwing it away as well, he holds it in between his hands, digging his face into it and just inhaling deeply, like he's drunk, like he's a maniac.

.

.

.

It takes Law a couple of days to be able to spend real time with Luffy again, to be able go to his place and just be there for a while, without worries and without having things to get done until very late into the night. But as he goes to meet him at the Bell-mere's on Saturday after lunch time, him having overslept throughout the whole morning, he finds that it doesn't matter, because the first thing that Luffy does when he enters, the bell jingling on top of his head, is to smile at him, big and bright, ignoring what Nami was saying and just looking at him as Law approaches the counter. He ends up ordering a coffee when Nami just stares at him, narrowing her eyes with suspicion and not even greeting or saying anything at him, not bothering telling him how much money he has to pay, Law already knowing it by memory and promptly putting the right amount on top of the counter. He watches as Luffy prepares his order and ignores Nami's eyes on him, craving holes on his skull, obviously wanting to ask him something or to make some sort of comment but keeping her mouth shut, and Law finds that he isn't curious enough to ask her what she wants, instead just grabbing his coffee from Luffy's hand and heading towards his place in the corner of the coffee shop, sitting there on the small and comfy couch just waiting for Luffy to end his shift, Nami not even letting him leave five minutes earlier despite the fact that she was already there, ready to take over the wheel behind the counter.

Law tries to occupy is mind with looking through the window, seeing the people passing by while taking small sips of his coffee at a time, felling the liquid warm up his body from the inside out. Sometimes he forgets how much he actually likes Bell-mere's, forgets how cozy and how calm it is, most of the times at least, forgets how good it smells and how pleasing to look at from his place in the corner it is. For a moment, it's almost like things are back as they were just a few months ago, simple, uncomplicated, impersonal, Nami and Luffy behind the counter, chatting to each other and attending whoever might enter, Nami sitting his her high chair taking the money and Luffy doing his best not to mess the customer's order but still knocking a few things down every once in a while, still covering himself with coffee stains. But Law quickly realizes how impossible that is, quicky realizes how things will take a lot longer before going back to what they were.

As Law inspects closer, it's not hard to notice how different Luffy is now from what he was in the past, how despite still being young he looks older somehow, more mature, how despite still keeping the smile on his face to every single customer it most of the times doesn't quite reach his eyes, how despite now looking a lot better than a few weeks ago, a lot healthier, a lot more rested, he still looks exhausted, staring into space whenever there isn't anyone to be attended, almost as if he's not really there. And it all makes Law's heart shrink a little inside of his ribcage when he sees it all, when he looks at Luffy without him noticing, but at the same time Law can't bring himself to feel sorry for him, to feel pity, because Luffy doesn't deserve it, not from him and not from anyone, because he's strong and doesn't need any of that, because despite the hard times he's still there, trying his best, because despite the relapses and the wrong choices he sometimes makes he's still not giving up, because despite being surrounded by darkness part of him still shines, and for all of that Law can't help himself but to feel truly proud of him.

As he sees him approaching his table with a couple of small card boxes in between his hands, Law can't help but to smile up at him, at who he is, at how much he has overcome, feeling his whole body warming up when Luffy just responds with a smile of his own, telling him to hurry up so they can finally leave. And so Law does, grabbing his backpack from the floor next to his feet and putting one strap over his shoulder before following Luffy, taking his empty coffee mug and putting it on top of the counter, barely even registering Nami still looking at him with the same facial expression before heading out, his mind too focused on the straw hat hanging loose on the back of Luffy's neck, almost as if he's being drawn to it.

Luffy keeps the conversation light when Law finally catches up with him, both of them walking side by side, occasionally looking at each other while talking. Luffy tells him about the weird customers he had that morning, about how a little girl insisted on helping her mother taking their order to their table and ended up just letting two pieces of delicious lemon meringue pie fall onto the floor, about how she cried so much afterwards that he had no other option than to just give them two additional slices, about how he ended up burning the back of his hand in the coffee machine after one particular customer decided to make conversation with him and was distracting, raising his arm to show the small red spot on his skin to Law, quickly dismissing it when he asks if it hurts, shaking his head in response. He asks what Law did in the morning after that, laughing softly when Law just responds that he has overslept and so ended up doing anything productive, both of them then walking in silence the rest of the way towards Luffy's place, Luffy at some point bringing one hand to grab his straw hat and to put it on top of his head, blocking the sunlight from hitting the black mess of his hair.

Luffy ends up taking a long while trying to open the old and rusty door of his building, having a hard time finding the right angle for the key, Law staying next to him, trying hard not to laugh while watching him getting more and more frustrated before finally being successful, holding the card boxes while Luffy does so and refusing to give them back when both of them enter the building, holding them over his own head and away from Luffy's reach, watching him pout like a child before heading towards the staircase, leading the way with Luffy following closely behind. He has to wait again, for Luffy to open his apartment's door, but it takes way less time, Chopper barking on the other side before being able to jump onto Luffy's legs until he picks him up, him then happily licking his face and wiggling his tail, Law giving him a quick scratch behind his ears before entering and heading towards the kitchen to put the card boxes on top of the counter.

"So," Luffy starts, filling Chopper's food bowl and changing his water, Chopper waiting patiently for him to do so before start eating, "I was wondering if you might like to help me with something."

"With what?" Law asks, arching an eyebrow at him and leaning against the counter, watching as Luffy gives him a smile while passing by him.

"You see this wall?" He asks, approaching the only empty wall on his apartment, the one dividing the kitchen from the bathroom, and not looking at Law as he continues. "Usopp said it was really wacky and offered to help me paint it, but he never has the time nowadays. I asked Franky and a bunch of other too, but they all keep ditching me," he looks back to Law then, still in the same position, "wanna help me with that?"

Law approaches him, inspecting the wall next to him as if he knows anything about it, but feeling proud of himself for having figured out Luffy had plans for it a while ago nevertheless. "Glad to know I'm the last option you even considered asking," he says, crossing his hands in front of his chest and looking straight ahead with a blank face, trying hard not to laugh when he sees Luffy snapping his head to look at him from the corner of his eye. Law turns his head slightly towards him, seeing the regret on Luffy's face, his eyes big and his lips pressed together like he's trying hard to come up with an excuse but not managing to, and all Law manages to do is to let out a laugh, making Luffy's straw hat fall to his back and ruffling his hair. "I'm kidding. Of course I can help."

Luffy gives him a playful punch in the arm in response, it ending up hurting a little more than what it should, although not even nearly enough for Law to feel the need to complain, him instead just looking as Luffy goes grab a paint can before heading back, handing it for Law to hold, a small but heavy thing, the name of the brand splashed across it with big and bold letters, but the additional information being shown quite discretely, the instructions of use being pretty much fucking useless and just stating the obvious,  _mix the content and paint over a clean and dry wall with a_ brush _or a paint roller._

Law watches as Luffy gathers all the supplies that they will need in the middle of the floor, stating that Usopp had brought them once with him but never really gave him any instructions since he was supposed to be there with him.

"But it's not like it can be that hard," Luffy states, frowning down at the supplies, picking up a metal tray and using his fingers to rip off the plastic covering it.

"We should change clothes first," Law says, watching as Luffy realizes he still has his uniform on underneath his cardigan, looking down at it like it's the first time he's seeing the coffee stains there. "I'll accept if you have some for me too, I didn't come quite prepared to do a paint job."

"That's what you get for dressing all fancy just to see me." Luffy winks at him, teasing, standing up and walking backwards towards the bedroom area for a while before turning in his heels. "That reminds me that you still haven't given back that one shirt I lend you."

"It's mine now," Law tells him, raising his voice just enough for Luffy to be able to hear him well, then going to grab a kitchen knife to open the can and the packaging containing the brushes, putting it away once he's done. "I'll return it once I do my laundry," he adds, not bothering mentioning how long he usually takes to do it, or the fact that he normally gathers a pile of dirty clothes and waits until he lacks clean ones to wear before actually bothering going to the laundromat.

By the time Luffy returns, he's wearing a blue tank top and shorts, hanging loose on his waist, him walking barefoot as he approaches Law and throws him a pair of black gym shorts. Law frowns as he looks at them, confused as to why he wasn't also given a shirt to go along with them, not wanting to cover in paint the one he's currently using, it being one of his good and new ones.

"I forgot about my rule," Luffy tells him, his voice low as he approaches Law even more until he's standing right in front of him, "your shirt off. Now."

Law arches an eyebrow at him. "So that thing was for real then?"

" _Yes,_ " Luffy tells him, like it's obvious, tugging at the bottom of Law's shirt and looking up at him, "now off. I haven't seen your tattoos in ages."

"It has been like three days." Law rolls his eyes and picks at the bridge of his nose, averting his look from Luffy's face.

"Like I said," Luffy says, giggling softly and stepping away, " _ages._ "

Law feels his body warm-up when he notices Luffy looking away, grabbing the pale drop cloth that Usopp had given him from the floor and starting to unfold it, walking towards the end of the room and spreading it near the wall that they're going to paint, protecting the wooden floor underneath and keeping his back turned to him as if to give Law some sort of privacy despite having seen him naked, despite having seen all of him already.

Law takes off his shirt then, slowly, grabbing the back of it and pulling it over his head and his hat, and he looks at Luffy while doing so, excepting him to turn around, expecting him to at least take a sneak peek, but he doesn't, too focused on straightening the goddamn cloth on the floor, and so he does it again while taking off his pants, letting them fall onto the floor and taking them off without bothering along with his shoes. He notices Luffy reacting as he hears the noise of Law's belt hit the wood underneath, but once again he doesn't look back at him, and Law can't help but to smile at himself, feeling ridiculous as a wave of excitement runs through his body, feeling powerful, and so he puts on the shorts Luffy gave him, them only being long enough to cover until the low middle of his thighs, being so loose around his waist that he has to tighten their string around it probably more than what he should have to.

He takes off his socks and steps over his pants, not bothering with picking up his clothes from the floor just yet, in fact barely even paying them any attention as he does his way towards Luffy, barefoot and silently, stepping closer until he's right behind him, cornering him against the wall. Luffy turns his head to look back at him then, from over his shoulder at first before turning his whole body to him, eyeing Law from head to toe and seeming pleased with what he sees, scanning his chest until his gaze stops at his waist, Law seeing him swallow before looking back up at his face.

"I'm glad I didn't throw these away," Luffy says, his voice low, tempting, touching Law's hipbones with his thumbs, bringing him closer, "why didn't you show me your tattoos sooner?"

"You never asked," Law shrugs, bringing his hands up to cup Luffy's face, bending down until the tips of their noses touch, slightly brushing his own lips over Luffy's teasingly, letting out a pleased sigh when Luffy closes the space in between them, messy and sloppily at first, then angling his face just right to deepen the kiss, his mouth tasting like sugar and pastries and being too damn addicting for Law's own good.

"If I asked would've you shown me?" Luffy asks, parting away to breathe, his voice deep and low, Law watching as he takes a few seconds to open his eyes and look at him, "before our alliance, I mean."

Law nods and kisses the corner of his mouth, pressing him backwards against the wall, not harshly, not demandingly, but Luffy still letting out a soft sound when he does so, bringing on hand up to grab at Law's wrist. "Most likely, yes," Law tells him, low and next to his ear, brushing Luffy's soft cheek with his lips.

"You're such a show-off," Luffy says, laughing when Law frowns at him, holding Luffy's face still and feeling his fast pulse underneath his palms.

Law kisses him again then, nibbling at his bottom lip and biting it softly before stepping away, looking at Luffy's flushed face and plump lips, feeling proud of himself. "I don't go around showing them to just about anyone," he says, trying his best to sound annoyed when he puts some space in between them, going to pick his clothes from the floor and throwing them to the back of the couch along with his hat, the tone of his voice betraying him.

"So that makes me a little bit special then," Luffy says, smiling and ignoring him as he grabs the brushes and holds one in each hand, inspecting them closely to choose one as if they're not exactly the same. "But glad you don't show them to everybody."

"Why is that?" Law asks when he approaches him again, arching an eyebrow at him and taking one brush for himself from Luffy's grip.

"Because they make you even hotter, and I don't like to have competition," Luffy states like it's obvious, and Law can't help but to roll his eyes at him. "Oh, there you are again, pretending you don't know how good looking you are."

Law runs the brush down Luffy's face playfully in response, making him giggle, and he wishes it was covered in paint already, wishes it did more than just tickle him.

They start working after that, Law having to push away Luffy's face whenever he tried to go for another kiss a few times too many before he too realized that they wouldn't get anything done if they stopped every so often just to fool around, contenting himself with pouting down at the blue paint inside of the can, stirring it with a thin piece of wood before pouring a big amount of it on the metal tray while Law covered the baseboard with painter's tape, being too lazy to ask Luffy for scissors and just cutting it with his teeth in the end. They set up a pace then, but the whole thing still takes a lot longer than what it should've, considering the fact that the wall is not that big in comparison to the others in the apartment. Law paints the edges with a brush, cautiously to not paint the other walls connecting with it and then down over the tape, sometimes having to dodge to the side to not hit Luffy and pretending that he doesn't notices he light touches whenever they get close or Luffy's eyes craving holes on his back when he's not looking, it still making his heart jump with excitement. Chopper kept himself away during the whole process, laying down on the floor with his head on top of his paws and just looking at them, occasionally dozing off to sleep.

When he was finally done, Law put the brush on top of the tray so he could go open all the windows of the place, Luffy's apartment suddenly getting too stuffy, the smell of fresh paint getting unbearable while trying to breathe, it making Law's head hurt. He stayed next to the last window for a little while, breathing in the fresh air and letting the breeze hit his bare chest, making a shiver run down his body as he noticed how the sun was no longer visible in the sky, it instead being hidden behind the buildings on the other side of the road, tall and ugly, all of them similar and lacking any kind of personality.

Law looks back just in time to see Luffy giving the last stroke with his roller, covering the remaining white part of the wall with a soft tone of blue, admiring his work with his hands on his hips before turning around to smile at Law, then approaching him and sticking his head out of the window, looking down at the road for a little while before looking up at Law, smiling when he finds him already looking at him.

"You have paint on your face," Luffy tells him, looking at the left side of his face, Law watching how he then lowers his gaze, to his neck, to his shoulder blades and then down at his torso, so slow and so deliberately that it makes Law's cock twitch with interest. "And some on your chest too," he adds, keeping his voice low, tempting, bringing his hands up to touch the painted parts of Law's skin, tracing them ghostly with his fingers and making Law's muscles contract underneath his warm touch, but then they're gone, too suddenly, too soon, and Luffy gives him one knowing smirk before stepping away and heading towards the kitchen.

For a moment, Law just stays there, paralyzed like he's a statue, his heart hammering loudly against his ribcage and his mind in a fuzz. He wanted to tell Luffy how he too had paint all over him, on the mess of his hair, on his forehead and on his chin, on his left shoulder, on his hands and on his forearms, small and big spots of blue all over his skin, but every time he tried to say anything the words got stuck on his throat, his mind going blank, and Law finds it frustrating really, how Luffy knows the power he has over him and how easily he uses it without really needing to do  _anything_.

Law sighs and runs a hand through his hair, scratching his scalp with his fingernails enough to leave a burning sensation behind, wanting to laugh at how ridiculous he has been acting, at how odd he has been feeling, but he doesn't, and instead just looks through the window one last time, wishing he could see the sunset before he follows Luffy, finding him sat on top of the counter with his legs crossed at his ankles, holding a small card box full of purple cupcakes on his lap, stuffing his mouth with one until his cheeks are round and full, just like a hamster. He offers Law one, raising the box at him as he passes by, but Law declines, the thought of food and sugar suddenly sounding intolerable, repulsive, his stomach twisting inside of his belly in disgust as he goes close the paint can, covering the tips his fingers in blue in the process. He grabs the tray, it holding his brush and Luffy's roller, and takes it to the sink, opening the tap and waiting a little bit before covering it all with warm water, then putting it carefully on the part of the counter next to the sink, unsure if the water will be enough to at least save the brushes from getting fucked up once the paint dries, but not caring too much if it doesn't.

He senses Luffy's eyes in him during the whole process, and he leans against the counter next to him once he's done, Luffy making a lot of noise while eating but Law easily blocking it, crossing his arms in front of his chest and looking to his side, admiring their work on the wall and noticing how there are a few bad strokes here and there, how some places aren't as blue as the rest, but the more Law looks at it the more he loves it, despite the imperfections and despite the mistakes all over it. Law senses Luffy getting impatient next to him as time passes by and he keeps on refusing to look at him, too focused on the now blue wall, him probably noticing Law's change of behavior but not commenting on it.

"Now I can finally say that my moving in is officially complete," Luffy says quietly, still chewing, loudly, trying to catch Law's attention but only making him change his stare from the wall to the rest of the apartment, scanning it from one side to the other and smiling, wondering if Luffy's feeling proud of having moved on, although still not completely, of having been brave enough to leave his comfort zone, of having being able to step up, to try and get a grip on his life again, wondering if he's proud of his new apartment, if he's proud to have a place of his own, wondering if he considers it a home, but as he turns his head to him, he only finds Luffy looking up at him with big eyes, waiting for Law to say something, purple frosting covering the corners of his mouth and having now an empty box on his lap.

"I think something's missing though," Law finds himself saying anyway, without really thinking it through, cleaning his throat afterwards.

Luffy tilts his head to the side, pressing his eyebrows together in a confused expression before looking around, trying to understand what Law means by that but being unsuccessful. "Like what?"

"Maybe a few plants." Law shrugs, him also not knowing what he meant by that.

Luffy narrows his eyes at him in suspicion but rolls along with it. "I always forget to water them."

"Maybe you should get a cactus then."

Luffy snorts in response, hitting Law's arm with his elbow and leaning into his side. "Find me a cute one and I'll think about it," he tells him and doesn't react when Law just blinks at him, instead looking down at Chopper as he nuzzles his feet, trying to catch his attention, Luffy then quickly stepping off of the counter and crouching down next to him, scratching him behind his ears. "Wanna go for a walk, uh?" Luffy asks, laughing when Choppers just barks at him in response, furiously wiggling his tail, then turning his head to look up at Law with expectant eyes. "Want to come with us?"

"It's getting a little late," Law says, joking but keeping his voice serious and his expression blank, and he was expecting to enjoy seeing Luffy's face falling a bit, was expecting to feel a sense of trill just before he told him that he was kidding, but he didn't, not at all, instead noticing as Luffy's shoulders get tense when he straightens up, noticing his jaw clenching, noticing how despite not liking the idea of Law going away just yet he still pretends that he doesn't mind, giving him a nod and a smile, empty and shallow and just full of  _disappointment_ , and so Law quits the act, suddenly feeling guilty, suddenly feeling like he was punched in the gut. "I mean if I go with you who will start making dinner? I doubt a dozen cupcakes are enough to keep your stomach satisfied."

Luffy doesn't take long to get the joke, blinking twice at him and then letting out a small laugh in response, rolling his eyes playfully at Law before passing by him to go search for Chopper's leash, the tension leaving his shoulders but Law still noticing how it all suddenly feels strange, odd,  _awkward_ , and so not what he wanted from it.

Law watches as Luffy grabs a light jacket and puts it on, covering his arms before leaving the apartment in a rush without saying anything, not waving a Law, not even looking back at him, still in the same position against the counter, once again feeling as if his body suddenly turned into stone, as if he suddenly forgot how to move, and it all makes him grow angry, his heartbeat picking up and his breathing getting faster, more irregular. He suddenly wants to punch something hard, something sharp, something that will for certain fuck up his knuckles for good, make them bleed, break his hand, but he doesn't, him instead heading towards the bathroom to splash cold water over his face, one, two, three times in a row, a few drops sliding down his neck onto his bare chest as he keeps his head lowered, grabbing the sink with both of his hands and refusing to look at himself in the mirror, refusing to look at his face, knowing he wouldn't be able to resist the urge to break it with his closed fist, to punch it until he had glass piercing through the skin of his hand, suddenly feeling overwhelmed, anxious, although not really knowing the reason why.

He has never once felt the necessity to think his actions through before doing them, has never once feared them having consequences or negative impacts on other people, even the smallest ones, even the ones that seem insignificant, a joke, and yet here he is, wanting to tell Luffy that he's sorry he made him doubt how good his company is, that he's sorry he made him think he didn't like the afternoon, that he's sorry he made him think he didn't want to stay for longer, that he's sorry for whatever negative thought that may have crossed through his mind, and it all makes Law feel small, stupid, and he hates it all to his core.

He leaves the bathroom not long after that, not even bothering with drying his face with a towel, and he grabs his hat from the couch, putting it on and running his hand through its soft and fluffy fabric. He closes the windows when he starts feeling cold, pondering about putting his shirt back on but quickly dismissing it. He leaves only one window open, the one farthest away into the room area, it not really helping to get rid of the sickening smell of paint but at least providing fresh air, the curtains moving softly as the breeze enters Luffy's apartment. He lets the cloth stay in the floor, not having enough will power to fold it and to put it somewhere out of the way, and so instead he kicks it until it occupies less space, until he can open the fridge without having it getting stuck underneath the door. He finds it weird how Luffy never seems to have leftovers from meals inside of his fridge, but he decides not to think much about it and instead takes out all the ingredients he can manage to find, the fridge being mostly empty, putting them all on top of the counter to try and figure out something to prepare out of them,  _bell peppers, turkey steaks and a packaging of sliced mushrooms,_  surely not sounding like something Luffy would buy on his own.

He sighs as he grabs an apron from the top of the fridge, a black and stained thing that doesn't do much at covering his chest but that at least will prevent him from getting the shorts that Luffy had lend him dirty, then opening the cabinets to take a frying pan and a pot out, putting them on top of the stove. He was never really a great cook, never really had the patience or the time that it takes to cook three meals per day, but he knows how to make his way around the kitchen well enough to not die of starvation, knowing the basics and sometimes coming up with pretty decent meals if the people eating are hungry enough. He fills the pot with water and throws a bit of salt and olive oil inside, putting it on high heat for it to boil faster, then adding the pasta like he has done so many times before, stirring it with a fork so it doesn't stick together. He chops the bell peppers in thin strips and then cuts the steaks into cubes, letting the blade slide through the flesh smoothly, and then mixes everything inside the frying pan along with the sliced mushrooms and little bits of garlic, throwing salt and pepper before mixing everything with a wooden spoon.

The whole thing doesn't take as long as he hoped it did, the meat getting done so fast that he has to put it on low heat for it to not burn while he drains the pasta and sets the table, and he finds it frustrating how the whole process only manages to occupy his mind for a few minutes. And so he stays there, taking off his hat just long enough to be able to run his fingers through his hair, looking down at the food on the frying pan without really having much to do other than stirring it absently until he hears the front door opening, Chopper running towards him with his little paws scratching the wooden floor, looking up at him and waiting for Law to pet him before heading towards the water bowl, drinking most of it in one go.

He turns around just in time to see Luffy taking off his jacket, stopping and looking at Law, tilting his head slightly to the side as he passes by him to put the frying pan on top of the table, slowly burning his fingers despite using a dishcloth to hold it. He feels Luffy getting closer then, standing right behind him, tracing the black lines of the tattoo on his back with ghost fingers, barely touching him but still leaving a burning sensation behind, and Law can't do more than just lean against his touch, feeling his whole body warming up, the hitch between his lungs suddenly appearing.

"I may have developed a new kink," Luffy tells him when Law turns around, his voice low and hoarse, looking at Law's torso, barely covered and with his nipples and most of his tattoo showing, his eyes seeming nothing more than predatory as they move up slowly to Law's face, him getting closer until Law hits the table behind him, grabbing the apron and not giving Law enough time to asks questions before he pulls him down in a harsh and urgent kiss, their teeth clashing together at first but Law quickly angling his face, letting Luffy take all he wants from him, letting him touch wherever he wants, letting him wrap his hands around the back of his neck, tucking at the hairs on his scalp to pull him down even more.

"You should sleep here tonight," Luffy says after a while, breathlessly, keeping his face so close that his hot breath hits Law's face like it's his own, Luffy's cheeks being all flushed, his lips red and shiny, he then giving Law a smile before continuing, a real one, genuine,  _intimate_ , "if I have to keep my window open I'll need a hot body to warm me up."

And Law can't help but to laugh down at him then, feeling lighter, his heart hammering against his ribcage, so loudly that he's sure Luffy can hear it too, and he realizes how he would've bent down, how he would've kissed Luffy again until they had to stop to breathe once more if only Luffy's belly didn't suddenly grumble with hunger. However, as Law's watches him sniffing the air towards the meal that Law prepared, now probably already cold, he finds that he doesn't mind it one slight bit.

.

.

.

On the weeks that follow, Law finds himself spending more nights at Luffy's place than at his own, finds himself meeting him at Bell-mere's once he's done with his classes and waiting for his shift to end, finds himself juggling his time in between going to campus, studying with his friends and just laying down on Luffy's couch while doing nothing productive, and he finds it weird really, how despite never having spent so much time outside of his cold and decrepit apartment before, how despite having his studies and his essays somewhat under control and how despite never before being so sexually active, he still feels stressed, restless, anxious, almost as if he's building up energy for something that he doesn't know about, almost as if his body is preparing itself for the impact that Law doesn't see coming, and it all is just so fucking frustrating. He finds himself once again caught in that loop of waking up at four am more often than not, for no particular reason, the only difference being that now most of the times he manages do doze off to sleep again, after a while of just looking around in the dark, counting sheep, or counting cells, or counting whatever the hell his mind comes up with, after a while of hearing Luffy's soft breathing, hearing him mumble in his sleep, bringing him closer whenever he's too far away for his liking, his skin always being warm and comforting against his own, after a while of just thinking, letting his mind go through whatever the hell it wants, running his fingers through Luffy's hair or drawing patterns over his skin while doing so.

Sometimes Luffy wakes up too while Law rolls into a more comfortable position or when he tries to steal some of the covers for himself, but those are rare, Luffy softly asking if Law's okay, if he needs something, if there's anything bothering him, but never managing to keep his eyes open for more than a few minutes after Law tells him that he's fine and that he should get back to sleep, his foggy mind obeying without complaining. And those nights are the worst to deal with, Law realizes, because his mind turns into a confusing mess of incoherent thoughts whenever Luffy snuggles closer to him, because his lungs seem too big to fit inside of his ribcage and to expand properly as he tries to breath whenever Luffy wraps his arms around him, despite Law not needing it, because he feels the hitch inside of his chest growing bigger and bigger whenever Luffy just tells him  _I'm here,_  quiet and softly next to his ear, because even though there's nothing wrong he just feels overwhelmed with the sudden care, with the sudden affection, and he can't do more than to just dig into Luffy's embrace like he's craving for it, like he's desperate for it, pressing his face against the crook of Luffy's neck and just taking in his scent as if he needs it to survive.

They never talk about those nights in the morning, either because Luffy doesn't remember them happening due to his sleepiness or because he expects Law to be the one starting the conversation, and Law can't quite pinpoint if that's a good thing or not, him then choosing to do what he does best and to just bury his intrusive thoughts and his questions into the depths of his brain, not even commenting about them with Shachi when he states that Law's acting weird again, teasing him about it but overall not being as persistent as he usually is.

One day, Law goes with Shachi to Jean's house when it's his day off, meeting Penguin along the way and the four of them end up just sitting on the living room's floor, eating pizza and drinking rum and tequila, mixing everything up inside of their stomachs without a care in the world about the hungover that they would have the next day, without a care in the world about the fact that it was still five in the afternoon and the sun was still in the sky, without a care in the world about the fact that it was a Wednesday, without a care in the world about the fact that they should be studying, that they should be doing something productive, getting ready for their upcoming exams, for their finals. But Law finds that he doesn't care at all, because it feels good to just be surrounded by his friends, because it feels good to have them laughing and talking loudly next to him, because it feels good to just have them  _there_ , and he ends up asking Penguin for a joint when he suggests smoking some weed, all of them looking at him with a surprised face but not asking questions when Law just says that it is for the old times' sake, them buying his lie too easily, him not even having to try that hard to find a plausible excuse.

It doesn't take long for him to start feeling lightheaded, weightless, but he smokes his joint to the very end, enjoying every inhale and every puff of smoke that leaves his mouth, then smashing its remains against the ashtray in between them, crushing it against the metal with his fingertips. And it's weird how he doesn't notice the night falling and the hours passing by, it's weird how he doesn't complain when Shachi suggests going downtown to enjoy the rest of their night, it's weird how the thought of neither of them having on proper clothes doesn't bother him as much as it should, Law instead following his friends closely, feeling his head spinning and his limbs suddenly ten times heavier.

He doesn't remember exactly how long it took them to get to Blueno's bar, doesn't remember at what point in the night Kid and his friends joined them at the balcony, drinking a round of shots with them, then two, then three, being loud and obnoxious but paying for most of it, keeping them all entertained and drunk for what feels like hours.

And Law can't help but to notice his body warming up until he feels like he's burning, the whole place suddenly getting too hot, too suffocating and too crowded, but him not finding enough energy to mind it one slight bit, to head outside to catch some fresh air, to just step away for a little while, because suddenly he sees a familiar face, right next to him at the balcony, tall and angry, covered in black from his hair to his clothes, glaring at him with a murderous look on his eyes. He barely has time to register it, his brain too foggy and too slow, and it's too late that Law realizes who the guy is, it's too late that he remembers how he was the one delivering Luffy the other night, like he was some sort of object, some sort of  _thing_ , it's too late that he realizes how he must be the Lucci guy that Nami talked about, and it's too fucking late that he remembers the bruises around Luffy's neck, him suddenly feeling the rage taking over his body, his blood boiling inside of his system, his vision getting blurred by red and alcohol, and it takes all of his will power to not go after him when the guy finishes his drink and just leaves, wanting to break every single bone on his body, wanting to peel off his skin, to punch him until his face got smashed inside of his skin, but stopping when Shachi puts a hand over his shoulder, grounding him back to reality, putting himself in front of him and giving him a concerned look.

Law shoves his hand away, more harshly than what he intended too, and proceeds to ignore his existence altogether, paying for the next round of shots and then accepting the other rounds that come, drinking until his head is spinning so much that it's like he's in a roller coaster, until he feels his legs so numb that it's like he's floating altogether, until there are moments where he almost doesn't manage to keep himself together, moments where he almost throws everything inside of his stomach right there on the floor, and it's only then that he reluctantly declares that he's done drinking for the night, although he doesn't really recall if he ended up still having a few more drinks after that or not, everything inside of his mind suddenly becoming a blur, everything starting to unfold so quickly that he isn't able to keep track all the things happening around him, on all the faces of the people surrounding him.

And it's weird how one minute Law's enjoying his time inside of Blueno's bar, and the next one he's just outside of it, standing next to the big and dark windows of the place that doesn't let him see through inside, ending up looking at the mess of his reflection instead but without being able to focus on his own face, to focus on his own eyes, Kid being right next to him, facing the other way, both of them smoking and letting out big puffs of smoke through their mouths. Law feels the cold breeze of the night hit his sweaty skin like sharp knives, gluing his clothes to his skin, but he finds it odd how it does very little to cool him down, his body not feeling warm anymore but instead burning, his system getting washed with a sudden wave of adrenaline, getting overflowed with a sudden sense of enthusiasm mixed with anticipation, his heart beating fast inside of his ribcage, pumping the blood furiously through his veins, and it all gets worse the more he stares at himself.

As he turns his head to look at Kid, he finds him already looking at him, a mess of black and red, and he doesn't do more than to finish his cigar in one big inhale, smashing what's left of it with the sole of his boot against the ground before throwing himself at Kid, punching the center of his face so hard that it makes him crash against the ground with a loud thud. Law feels his breathing fastening then, his vision clearing up just enough to see Kid spitting loudly, tossing his own cigar to the side and cleaning his mouth with the back of his hand, getting back up on his feet and smiling at Law, the blood on his lips making looking predatory, voracious, his eyes watery and his makeup smudged around his eyes, and Law barely has time to register getting painfully punched in the kidneys before he has to block another punch, and another, and another, Kid aiming to his face but meeting Law's forearms instead, Law quickly attacking back, recklessly, without thinking, giving and taking just the exact same amount, feeling the taste of blood inside of his mouth.

Their fight is brutal, violent, just like all the ones they used to have when they met each other, but Law can't stop himself from noticing how it feels different now, how despite Kid still fighting with the intention of hurting him, of breaking his bones, of making him bleed, he now waits a little while longer in between his attacks so that Law can punch him too, willingly taking it all without dodging, and so Law starts doing the same, not blocking when Kid tries to once again punch his face, instead raising his face and letting Kid's knuckles clash against the bridge of his nose, making his eyes water and his vision blurred once again, him not being able to see when Kid hits him again, this time on his the diaphragm, his lungs spasming inside of his ribcage as he tries to breathe.

And then suddenly it is all over, too soon, too quickly, their friends appearing and grabbing them, preventing them from going any further with their fight, Jean's arms around him being so strong that he barely even manages to try to wiggle out of them, his body too sore to be able to do more than to just pathetically try. Shachi gives him a stern look but Law doesn't pay attention to him, his mind too focused on Kid's face, on the blood all over it, on the bruises and the soreness getting already noticeable on his pale skin.

"I had started to think that you didn't have it in you anymore, Trafalgar," Kid tells him, smiling at him, his teeth bloody and gory, and Law can't help but to smile at him in response too, surely looking just as bad, just as gruesome, but he finds that he doesn't mind it one slight bit, because he needed it, because he was craving it for far too long, the pain, the injuries, all of it. "We should do this more often."

Law watches him as he leaves, laughing out loud with his friends following right behind, and it's only then that Jean lets him go, it's only then that he loses his grip around his arms until he's not touching him anymore, keeping himself close and making sure that Law won't be running after them, like Law's not to be trusted.

"What was that all about?" Shachi asks, positioning himself in front of him, crossing his arms around his chest and forcing him to look at his face, and for some reason Law finds that he can't stand his stern look, disapproving his actions to their very core, seeming confused, disappointed. "You guys haven't fought in years and now you almost kill each other."

"Don't be so dramatic," Law tells him, playfully, almost as if nothing ever happened, wanting to get rid of Shachi's expression but somehow only making it worse, making him narrow his eyebrows at him even more, although he doesn't say anything else, doesn't have time to many any comment because then Penguin appears and puts a hand over their shoulders, offering his apartment for them to crash there for the night, trying to cease the tension in between them.

And it works, for a little while at least, the three of them agreeing without much thought, Penguin's apartment being the closest one from their current position. Law ends up following them, stumbling on his feet while trying to keep himself close behind them, his body feeling sore, numb, foreign, almost as if he was run over by a truck, his numb legs barely having enough strength to support the rest of his body, taking in every step as torture, his muscles twitching underneath his skin, the adrenaline leaving his system and quickly being replaced with pure exhaustion. Shachi helps him at some point, taking pity on him, grabbing one of Law's arms and putting it over his own shoulder, holding him by his waist and releasing great part of Law's weight from his legs, making the act of walking a little less painful, a little less of a burden, but a lot more complicated.

At some point along the way, Law has to make a stop to throw up violently next to a random car, letting out all the pizza he had for dinner, mashed bits splashing against the sidewalk and the wheel along with an absurd amount of liquid. His body hurts, so much that he barely has enough strength to straighten and prevent himself from falling face-first on his own vomit, Shachi holding onto him once more, and as he sees his reflection on the dark window of the car, he finds that he barely recognizes his face, despite his vision not being blurred by alcohol and rage anymore, his lips and his cheeks being all swollen, his eyes and nose bruised, having scratches and dried blood all over. And yet he can't stop himself from feeling pleased to see his face like that, can't stop himself from feeling  _good_ , him then turning his attention to Shachi and not finding in his face any trace of disapproval anymore, any trace of disappointment, instead being met with a smile, kind and warm, one that Shachi only gives him when he gets what Law's feeling, when he understands him, and so Law lets himself lean against him a little more, until he's practically being dragged by him, until Shachi's complains and curses but without having any resentment or any angriness in his voice.

It takes them a little while to get to Penguin's place, all of them walking like dead men. Penguin gives them a few mattresses and pillows and then goes to his own bedroom, giving Law a tap on the shoulder before disappearing, leaving the door open just in case. Jean collapses on the couch after putting everything in place for Shachi and Law to lay down, improvising a bed on the floor and trying to make the best out of it, not even bothering to take off his shoes before dozing into sleep. Law looks at him for a while, watching as he starts snoring loudly not long after, standing in the middle of the living room until Shachi appears next to him, a bag of frozen peas on one hand and a pack of cigarettes on the other, motioning with his head for Law to follow him, leading the way towards Penguin's small balcony.

Shachi wraps the bag of frozen peas with a cloth and Law accepts when he hands it to him, despite knowing full well that it won't help with anything right now, not after so much time as passed, not with his face already too swollen, but he pressures it against his wounds either way, feeling the cold against his skin until it gets numb and he has to move to another area, the cloth becoming more red and bloody each time. Shachi offers him a cigar then, and Law accepts too, despite having already smoked too damn much that night for his own good, and the nicotine doesn't take long to enter his system, relaxing his body, relaxing his mind, and he finds himself telling Shachi about Lucci, about the little amount of things he knows about him, about how he and Luffy used to have a thing before Law entered the picture, how he was the one glaring at him back at Blueno's bar, and Shachi doesn't interrupt him once, doesn't say anything at all, just nods at Law whenever he looks at him to make sure he's listening.

"You shouldn't get all heated up with his past flings like that," Shachi tells him after he's done talking, lighting up his second cigarette, looking at him with a comprehensive look, giving him a smile after letting out a big puff of smoke, "after all you guys are in an open sort of thing."

And the thing is, Law knows that full well, knows that he doesn't have the right to get jealous of Luffy, not with his present flings and much less with his past ones, especially since Luffy told him they weren't a thing anymore, and yet knowing the existence of Lucci still bothers him, knowing that he's still circling around like a shark gets him unsettled, gets under his nerves, and the more he thinks about it the more he realizes how much he doesn't want Luffy seeing other people, how the mere thought of it makes him angry. But then Luffy's words play on his mind,  _I feel like relationships suffocate me_ , and it's only then that he realizes how he despises the idea of fucking up their alliance way more than the rest, how he doesn't want to suffocate Luffy, how he doesn't want to scare him away just because he's stupid and jealous.

"So," Shachi starts again, softly, probably sensing Law overthinking, turning his body fully towards them and wiggling his eyebrows, "have you guys fucked already?"

"Not quite," Law hears himself saying, and he finds it surprising how him asking doesn't annoy him as much as it should. "I mean we do have sex, but it's not-" he gestures with his hand, feeling the sudden urge to look away from Shachi, "-you know."

Shachi laughs at him. "Taking things slow, uh."

"If you want to put it that way," Law says, taking another cigarette from Shachi, putting it in between his lips and bending down just enough for him to light it up, letting out a few puffs of smoke in silence, just looking ahead but without paying attention to anything in specific, remembering how Luffy had said that they would do things at Law's pace, that they would do what Law was comfortable with without rushing.

"Wanna know what I think?" Shachi asks after a while, yawning loudly, and Law just shrugs in response, then looking at him and nodding once he doesn't continue right after. "I think you're pushing yourself too hard over this again. Just relax and enjoy." Shachi gives him a pat on the shoulder, shooting him a smile, and Law can't stop himself from noticing it is different somehow, although he's not sure how.

Shachi leaves after that, waiting just long enough to realize that Law wasn't following him, opting for staying for a little while longer, feeling his mind dizzy but overflowed with thoughts. He thinks about calling Luffy then, despite how early it is, despite the fact that he's most likely still sleeping, feeling the sudden urge to hear his voice, to hear him call him Traffy with a sleepy voice, but he quickly decides against it, and instead he just stays there, just looking ahead until he gets too tired and too cold, until the dark sky starts to become clearer, until he sees it turn into a soft shade of purple.

He goes put the peas back in the freezer, the bag being more than thawed by now, and then throws the bloody cloth to the trash before heading to the bathroom, washing his face with cold water but refusing to look at his reflection, to check his wounds, and instead he goes back to the living room, taking off his shoes and letting himself fall onto the improvised bed right next to Shachi.

.

.

.

Law doesn't see Luffy on Thursday when he wakes up in the middle of the afternoon, hungover and feeling like shit, barely even having enough strength to tell his friends that he wasn't going to the damn classes, to tell them to leave him the fuck alone, to let him sleep more, there, in the middle of Penguin's living room, and he doesn't see him the next day nor on Saturday, his face still being swollen, still being covered in nasty bruises, despite all the ointment that he puts over his wounds, despite all the care that he gives them. He ends up not going to Bell-mere's either, or to any of his classes, and in fact the only time that he lets the daylight hit his face is when he has to leave Penguin's apartment so he can go to his own, receiving all kinds of sided looks from the people that he passes by along the way.

But he does see him on Sunday. After getting too damn tired of staying inside of his apartment for so long, just sleeping and pretending to be studying, he calls Luffy, already knowing through Shachi that he is on his day off, asking if it's okay for them to meet, if it's okay for him to go to his apartment, and so he ends up waiting for him outside the supermarket, not having a reason to enter as Luffy was just finishing his grocery shopping by the time Law called. He ends up not waiting for long, but the high sun still hits him hard enough to warm his body to the point of making his forehead sweat, him feeling suddenly disgusting despite having taken a shower early that day.

As he looks at his reflection in the sliding doors' glass, he notices how his appearance is not the best, his face being a mess despite him now being able to fully open both of his eyes, despite most of the bruises having faded to a more yellowish tone than before, despite his face having returned to his natural structure with most of the swelling being gone, despite now being able to move it without hurting like hell, the dark circles underneath his eyes still being there despite the fact that he did nothing other than sleep during the last couple of days.

He takes off his hat and tries to tame his hair underneath a little bit more, it being so sweaty and so disgusting underneath his fingertips that he decides to shove his hat inside of his backpack instead of putting it on once more, letting the top of his head breathe and dry with the breeze. And that's when Law sees him, approaching the register with his shopping cart without noticing Law standing just outside, his straw hat hanging loose around his neck and his red cardigan covering all the length of his arms, and Law then suddenly feels the hitch in between his lungs growing, getting painful and uncomfortable when Luffy finally acknowledges his presence, shooting him a smile just before the sliding doors close right on Law's face.

It doesn't take long for Luffy to leave the supermarket after that, Law having to step out of the way to let the customers enter and positioning himself right besides the doors, leaning his body against the line of shipping carts and waiting patiently for Luffy to appear, his arms full of grocery bags, him refusing Law's help at first but letting him have some on the second try.

"What happened to your face?" He asks, looking concerned, staring intently at every part of his face, suddenly making Law feel self-conscious.

"Hello to you too," Law says, offering him a smile and trying to ease his worries, Luffy rolling his eyes but his expression softening right after, his concern being quickly replaced with pure curiosity, him looking up at Law with expectant and shiny eyes, and so Law tells him everything, tells him how much he has drunk throughout the night, how he has smoked with his friends right at the begging of it, how he one moment just felt like he was burning, consumed by rage and confidence, how he just looked at Kid and saw nothing but red, how he just needed some of his stress gone, how he just needed to release his energy in a fast and efficient way, and Luffy doesn't interrupt him once, keeping his mouth shut and just looking up at him, nodding every once in a while to tell Law that he was listening.

He doesn't mention Lucci also being in the picture, doesn't feel the need to, mostly because other than being there and being who he is he didn't really do much, mostly because he felt like mentioning his name would bring more harm than good, mostly because he felt like it would only lead to more questions than answers, but, as he looks down at Luffy through the space in between the grocery bags, Law can't stop himself from feeling like he's making a terrible mistake for not telling him, can't stop himself from feeling that in a ways he's lying to him, and that thought infiltrates his brain like a parasite, consuming him all the way towards Luffy's apartment.

And he finds it weird really, how he could easily resolve that dilemma by just casually mentioning that Lucci was there, not even needing to give him much importance inside the narrative, but he can't bring himself to, because Luffy's already talking about a totally different subject, totally unaware of the turmoil inside of Law's head, being all excited and explaining with a big smile on his face how he will start training again, how he found a coach willing to accept phased payments throughout the month, and Law can't stop himself from feeling proud of him, can't stop himself from smiling at him while seeing his face lighting up, him speaking so fast about how strong the guy is that he stumbles on his own words, sounding like a kid excited to receive a new toy as a present, and so Law shoves his negatives thoughts inside of his brain, instead enjoying Luffy's presence and his energy just like Shachi told him to.

He doesn't think much about how casual it all seems when he enters Luffy's apartment with his arms full of groceries and with Chopper trying to climb his legs the moment he steps in, jumping with his short paws and barking enthusiastically, almost as if he's happy to see him back, almost as if he has missed him, and so the first thing he does when he puts the bags on top of the counter is to crouch in front of him, petting him behind his ears, on the back of his neck where the fur is thicker and then on his belly when he just collapses on the floor, rolling and wiggling his small body underneath Law's hand. He doesn't think much about how Luffy makes him get rid of his shirt as soon as he gets back onto his feet, Chopper happily trotting towards his now full food bowl, Law rolling his eyes but not complaining, already too used to obeying Luffy's damn rule, and instead he feels his belly warm up as he notices how Luffy no longer averts his eyes from him as he does so, how he leans against the top of the counter and just watches the process, nodding in approval as Law does his way to throw his shirt to the back of the couch. And he also doesn't think much about the fact that he already knows where inside the cupboard and the cabinets most of the groceries should go, him helping put everything in order inside the kitchen while trying to pretend to not notice the soft and ghostly touches that Luffy gives him whenever they're too close. But then it's with shock that he opens the last bag, finding bread inside, all kinds of it, lots and lots of it, disgusting amounts of it.

"What is this?" He asks, looking at Luffy and seeing him turning his body towards him, seeming confused, tilting his head to the side and blinking at him, and so Law just grabs one pack of bread and shakes it in front of Luffy's face, his confusion only becoming even more noticeable.

Luffy looks between the package on Law's hand and his face, arching an eyebrow at him. "Bread?"

"It's disgusting," Law spits out, throwing the package back to the top of the counter like it offended him personally.

"You can't be serious," Luffy says, still confused, but laughing hard when Law just turns and glares at him in response, his mouth hanging open, grabbing his belly with both of his hands and just standing there, laughing loudly in the middle of his kitchen like a lunatic. "You don't like bread?" He asks after a while of mocking him, cleaning the tears from the corners of his eyes with the back of his hand and then approaches him.

"I  _despise_  it," Law simply responds, crossing his arms around of his chest and watching as Luffy grabs the packaging of bread, one by one, inspecting then closer, before opening one, looking up at Law with a sly smile on his face and then taking a small piece out and shoving it inside of his mouth. "Stop that."

"Why?" Luffy asks, acting innocently but chewing loudly, his mouth slightly opened and looking at Law while doing so, teasing him, mocking him, getting under his nerves. "I like bread."

"No bread when I'm around. That's going to be my rule," Law tells him, annoyed, and Luffy just laughs at him some more, not making any move to put the damn bread away, and so Law just heads to the couch, grabbing his shirt and preparing to put it back on.

"OK, OK, fine,  _geez_. You can have that boring rule." Luffy put down the packaging, raising his hands in surrender but still looking at him funny. "But I can't just throw it away, I don't waste food," he says, putting all the breath on top of the counter inside the cupboard, throwing it to the far end of it and almost hiding it from Law's view, "just forget it's there and I'll eat when I'm alone, yeah?"

Law nods at him in response, throwing his shirt back to the couch, this time not really minding where it lands, and watches as Luffy comes closer to him, slowly, taking off his straw hat and putting it carefully on top of the dining table on the way, then wrapping his arms around Law's waist and wanting a kiss, but Law doesn't bent down to meet in the middle like he normally does, and instead just cups his face with his hand and squeezes his cheeks together until he looks like a fish out of water, then smiling at Luffy's confused expression. "I'm not touching this mouth until I forget that you ate that disgusting thing."

"You're ridiculous," Luffy says once Law lets go of his face, pouting but seeming more amused by Law's behavior than anything else, keeping himself in the same position, pressed against his chest, his hands falling onto Law's hips. "Why do you hate it anyway?"

Law thinks for a minute, letting himself leans against the back of the couch just behind him. "I don't know. The texture is weird, and the flavor, and all of it really," he shrugs, but Luffy doesn't seem satisfied with the answer. "Don't you have any food that you don't like?"

"Not really, I like all food," Luffy says simply, looking up at him, and Law only arches an eyebrow at him, doubting, "but I once bought a cherry pie that didn't taste that well. I still ate it though."

Law rolls his eyes at that, but doesn't say anything else, doesn't question Luffy's ability to eat any sort of thing if he has enough hunger, after all he has been eating Law's poor excuses of meals like they're the most delicious thing that he has ever tasted, never once complaining, never once leaving anything on his plate, always eating with a smile on his face and seeming satisfied in the end, and it makes Law happy to remember those moments, to realize how he has never cooked so often as be does now, to realize how he didn't use to enjoy cooking that much before, how he only did it out of necessity to feed his body, how he never really had the time or the energy to really give it any sort of care. And so Law doesn't manage to suppress a small smile to form on his face as he looks down at Luffy, him having gained a bit of weight over the past few days, now looking a lot healthier, a lot stronger, and he doesn't mind when Luffy doesn't notice him staring at him, too focused on the bruises on Law's abdomen, now mostly gone, their faint tone of yellow not standing out on Law's skin but still being noticeable up close. He touches them one by one with the tips of his fingers, so slowly and so faintly that it's almost like he's afraid he will hurt Law if he puts too much pressure over them.

For a moment, Law wants to tell him how they don't hurt anymore, how it's almost like they're not even there, wants to grab his hand and press it against his skin, wants to feel his palms moving around his torso, wants to feel them touching everywhere, making his muscles underneath twitch, making his skin feel like it's burning. But he doesn't, and instead he stays still, like a statue, not moving and barely even breathing, just watching Luffy's face twitching whenever he touches a new bruise, too focused on them to realize the mess that Law's turning underneath his fingertips, just taking in the moment, just enjoying all of it, overwhelmed with the sudden care, with the sudden affection, with how intimate their whole alliance has become in a matter of just a few weeks. And it makes him feel weird, all of it, makes him feel fuzzy. He doesn't remember ever having anyone looking at him the way Luffy does, doesn't remember ever having anyone touching him so softly without it being in a sexual context, doesn't remember ever feeling that hitch in between his lungs that now seems to be a constant, almost as if vermin had entered his system and crawled all the way into his ribcage, feeding itself of his flesh and multiplying.

And the more he thinks about it the more he realizes how it has been like that for a while now, how it's not something new, how it's not something that just happened from one day to the other. He thought it was because Luffy was a guy in the beginning, thought it was just because everything with him was new, foreign, thought that it was only because for it that it was so exciting, so thrilling, but now he's not so sure anymore, not when Luffy just lets his hands fall onto his hips again, his thumbs pressing against Law's hipbones underneath, not when Luffy just comes even closer, until he's completely pressed against him, not when Luffy just kisses Law's exposed collarbones, tracing a path up to Law's neck with his mouth.

"What are you thinking so much about?" Luffy asks, low, kissing the area just underneath his ear with an open-mouthed peck, warm and soft, then leaning back just enough to be able to look up at Law's face.

"I don't know how to put it in words."

"Then leave it be," he says, smiling, and Law wishes he could just do that, wishes it were that simple, wishes he could just shut his brain from time to time

"It's easier said than done," Law tells him, and he's sure that he gets it, he's sure that Luffy's able to understand him just way too well, even though he doesn't say anything, even though his face doesn't even react to his words, even though he keeps his eyes focused on the bruises on Law's face, bringing one of his hands up to touch them as well, touching the one on Law's left cheek, touching the ones over both of his eyes, over his eyelids and up to his eyebrows, then touching Law's chapped bottom-lip. "I thought our alliance would answer some of my questions, but it only ended up raising more."

"Like what?" Luffy asks, shifting his attention from Law's lips to his eyes, his hand falling once again to Law's hip.

"Like-" Law grabs Luffy's face with both of his hands, curling his fingers around his soft neck, bringing his face up, closer, "-why didn't we start doing this sooner?" He brushes his lips with Luffy's, barely touching them, watching as Luffy closes his eyes and promptly parts them for him, his mouth hanging open, inviting, tempting, hot. "Or how can anyone have such a mouth like yours," he says, smiling when Luffy tries to close the space between them but doesn't manage to, Law stopping him, waiting for him to open his eyes before continuing, bending down just enough to be able to nib at his earlobe, "I still haven't forgotten."

He hears Luffy groaning in frustration then, letting his forehead fall onto his shoulder but still exposing his neck for Law to take, and so that's what he does, digging his face into the curve of Luffy's neck, sucking the soft skin there until he's sure it will leave a mark, nibbling it with just the right amount of teeth until he feels Luffy shivering underneath his touch, his breathing becoming shaky and more irregular, pressing his thumbs further into Law's hip bones. Law grabs Luffy's hair then, moving one hand to the back of his head, pulling it gently and just enough to be able to see Luffy's face, just enough to make him open his eyes and look at him again, and Law can't help but smile with what he sees, not being disappointed. He has never meet someone with such a sensitive neck before, has never met anyone that could become such a mess just by touching it long enough, Luffy's face being all flustered, his eyes unfazed, his mouth hanging open, begging to be kissed.

"Torao-" Luffy says, his voice rough, desperate, but Law doesn't let him finish, closing his lips with his index finger and smirking down at him.

"You're gonna need a lot more than that to make me forget," Law says, low, and he curls his fingers around Luffy's neck again, resting his palm against his esophagus, " _Luffy-ya_." Law presses his thumb against the arteries on the side of neck then, just lightly, but he still feels Luffy's heartbeat picking up, until he feels him swallow hard, his Adam's apple moving against his palm before he moves his hand away.

Law steps away from the back of the couch then, intending on leaving Luffy there and going to do something else to occupy his mind with, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to resist the urge of kissing him for much longer but wanting to tease him a bit more. However, Luffy doesn't let him, pressing his back against the couch once more, and something on Luffy's eyes changes then, although Law can't quite pinpoint what right away, being caught off guard, getting too mesmerized by the way he stares at him with sudden determination, it sending shivers down Law's spine. And suddenly Law finds that all he can bring himself to do is watch as Luffy grabs one of his hands again, bringing it closer to his face and wetting his lips as he analyses the tattoos on the back of his fingers.

Law notices how Luffy's pupils dilate before brushing his lips against Law's palm, slowly, deliberately, how he gives him a sly smile before taking one of his fingers inside of his mouth, how he looks back up at Law before taking another, and then another, until he has three pressed against the flat of his tongue, and Law's cock twitches inside of his pants with the sight of it, without missing how Luffy chose the fingers to specifically spell EAT, swirling his tongue along their length, making them wet with saliva, taking them in deep and making sounds, looking so dirty and so  _good_  that Law feels his blood pumping loudly on his ears, his heart hammering against his ribcage as he sees Luffy letting them slip out, not breaking eye contact. And Law gives in and kisses him sloppily then, one, two, three times, feeling Luffy press enthusiastically against his mouth in response, being demanding, desperate, grabbing the back of Law's neck and pulling him down, closer, digging his nails on Law's scalp, grabbing his hair and tugging it.

Law lets his hands fall down Luffy's body, bending down just enough to be able to yank him up, Luffy yelping with surprise but promptly crossing his legs around Law's hips for better stability as Law switches their positions, placing Luffy over the back of the couch so that their height difference is more even, digging his fingers into Luffy's thighs and angling himself in between his legs to get more friction, finding to his surprise that Luffy's already fully hard, the outline of his cock brushing against his stomach.

Law presses one hand over it through his shorts and he can't help but to smile when Luffy just moans against his mouth, arching his body further towards him, wanting more, almost climbing onto him, holding onto Law's neck to not slide down the couch and only letting go when Law tries to get rid of his cardigan and of his shirt underneath, pulling it up and off in a quick and smooth movement. He kisses Luffy until they need to breathe and then digs his face into his neck once more, attacking it more fiercely this time, without mercy, biting over the red marks already there and feeling Luffy tremble underneath him, making all sorts of noises.

"I have one question for you too," Luffy says, breathlessly, his voice shaky, small, gasping for air whenever Law bites another spot but still exposing his neck even further, offering it all for Law to take. "I said you would set the pace but I–" Law watches satisfied as Luffy suddenly isn't able to form proper words anymore, him tracing Luffy's jawline with his tongue, slowly, wanting to see his face as he slides his hand inside of Luffy's shorts, curling his fingers around his cock and taking it out. "–I want to ride you."

And Law can't help but to moan against Luffy's ear then, the thought of being inside of him suddenly crossing his mind, making his own cock demand for attention, but Law quickly realizes that he doesn't want to stop with the teasing just yet, that he's enjoying being able to turn Luffy into such a mess, that he's enjoying that power way too much, and so he catches Luffy's earlobe in between his teeth while simultaneously starting to stroke him with painfully slow movements, despite the angle, spreading his pre-cum over the length and making Luffy's gasp for hair, digging his fingernails onto Law's shoulder blades. "That's not a question," he tells him then, next to his ear, enjoying how Luffy groans with frustration right after.

Slipping his hands underneath Luffy, Law grabs his ass and squeezes it, holding him close while carrying him to the bed, then throwing him against the bedsheets, the whole bed creaking with the sudden weight. He gets rid of Luffy's shorts and underwear, letting him fully naked on the bed before climbing on top of him, claiming his mouth in a urgent kiss, Luffy parting his legs obscenely for Law to be able to fit in between, warping them around his hips once more and bringing him down, closer, deepening the kiss and moaning against Law's lips.

"Torao-" Luffy mutters against Law's mouth when he continues with the teasing, his voice broken, rocking his hips against him in protest after Law grabs both of his hands and brings them above his head, pressing them down against the mattress by his wrists, "- _please._ "

It's only then that Law realizes just how much he fucking likes to hear him beg, just how much he fucking loves that stupid nickname, just how much he fucking likes to have Luffy pinned down underneath him, fully naked and arching his whole body to try and get what Law keeps refusing to give him, and so Law tightens his grip around his wrists a little more, holding him in place, before bending his face down next to his ear. "Say it again," Law commands him then.

"I want to ride you," Luffy repeats, locking his eyes with him, trying to catch Law's mouth with his own but not managing to stretch his neck just enough to reach him, " _please._ "

Law agrees then, not managing to hold the urge to feel his own cock inside of him for any longer, to know what it is like, and so he let's go of Luffy's wrists and barely has time to analyze the perfect mess that Luffy is before he switches their positions with one fast movement, almost knocking them both out of the bed and sitting on top of Law, hands pressed against his chest, his whole body flustered, glowing, his skin so hot that it's almost like it's steaming. But it's over too soon, Luffy getting off of him and stepping away, Law missing his weight on his lap instantly.

Luffy goes search for the lube and condoms on the bedside table, but he takes so long that it gets painful, Law trying to take off his own pants in the meantime, his hands so shaky as he tries to open his belt and his mind being so dizzy that Luffy has to help him, pulling the damn pants until he gets rid of them, throwing them somewhere onto the floor, and then just stands there, at the end of the bed, looking at Law like he's hungry, licking his lips before putting a condom over Law's cock, Law feeling it twitch with the touch, with enthusiasm, finally getting some attention when Luffy bends down in between is legs and runs the flat of his tongue over the shaft, smiling up at him before climbing onto his lap again, sitting down and moving his hips in circular movements, so painfully slowly that all Law is able to do is grab his hips to press him down even more, wanting more friction, more skin.

Luffy smiles at him then, looking down and analyzing Law's face when he moves again, even more slowly, seeming pleased with how much of a desperate mess he's turning Law into. "I've been wanting to ride you ever since I first saw you," he says, bending down to catch Law's mouth in a sloppy kiss, "entering Bell-mere's all wet and grumpy," and Law can't help but mutter in agreement, his brain not even managing to register his words properly.

Luffy straightens up then and grabs the lube, pouring some on his fingers and reaching back, and it takes Law a while to realize what he's doing, takes him a while to come to his senses, him being too focused on looking at Luffy's face, too mesmerized by his expressions, by the soft sounds that escape his mouth. Law sits up then, grabbing Luffy's hips and pulling him closer, kisses the scar on his chest, one, two, three times before making his way up to Luffy's neck, then to his mouth, hanging open, waiting to be taken.

"Can I do it?" Law asks, kissing him, and Luffy moans against his mouth, giving him his consent with a few nods, watching intently as Law reaches for the bottle of lube and pours some on his own hand.

"I don't need much-" Luffy says as Law reaches his hand behind him, his voice shaky, gasping loudly when Law lets one finger slip inside of him, holding onto Law's shoulder blades until his fingernails are digging into Law's skin, "-been doing it alone."

Luffy lets his head fall onto Law's shoulder when he inserts another finger, feeling the skin stretching and getting used to them easily, Law moving them around experimentally, paying attention to the sounds leaving Luffy's mouth, to his moans getting muffled against his neck. "How many times?"

He grabs Luffy by his hair with his free hand when he doesn't answer right away, making him raise his head and locking his eyes with him o CE more. " _Too many._ "

"I'm imagining you-" Law says, mouthing Luffy's jawline and watching as his face twitches with yet another finger inside of him, his eyes falling shut and his eyebrows knitting together, "-doing this all by yourself."

Law sees Luffy opening his mouth to say something then, but everything that leaves his mouth is a soft moan, him grabbing Law by the back of his neck with both of his hands, digging his nails onto his skin painfully, scratching his scalp, leaving his hair sticky with the lube that still remains on his fingers. But Law doesn't mind, not at all, too occupied claiming Luffy's exposed neck, all stretched out for him to take, Luffy arching his body against him, fucking himself against Law's fingers, the same ones that he had inside of his mouth just a few minutes ago, and so Law doesn't stop, moving his hand to keep up with Luffy's pace, their cocks pressed against each other, and then he captures his mouth and claims it too until Luffy puts his hands on his chest and presses him against the bed again.

He makes Law watch as he angles himself on his lap, stocking Law's cock before taking it all in, slowly, and Law can't help but to groan at how tight he is, grabbing Luffy's thighs and not being able to do anything else besides dig his fingers into the flesh there, not being able to do anything else besides watch intently as Luffy starts moving, clumsily at first, until he finds the right angle, the right rhythm, then fastening the pace, groaning when Law starts to thrusts back up, closing his eyes but sinking the rest of the way to meet Law's hips.

Law holds Luffy by his thighs when he leans back further, rocking his hips in time with Law's, his cock bouncing against his stomach, opening his eyes to look down at Law, seeming blinded by lust, letting his mouth fall open but not letting anything out other than dirty sounds. Law curls his fingers around Luffy's cock then, only momentarily, swiping his thumb over the tip until it is covered with pre-cum, then bringing his hand up to touch Luffy's face, his thumb being quickly captured into Luffy's mouth, his tongue swirling against the pad before Law takes it out, then letting his hand slip down onto Luffy's neck where it belongs, pressing the thumb over the arteries just enough to make him feel light-headed.

And there's when Luffy's starts begging again, grabbing Law's forearm with both of his hands when he strengths his grip around his neck a bit more, not digging his nails onto Law's skin, not moving Law's hand away, instead just holding on to Law's arm as if he's holding on for dear life, barely keeping his eyes open, barely saying coherent words, but calling Law's name, over and over again, not Traffy, not Torao, but Law, Law,  _Law_. And so he pulls Luffy down, moving his hand to the back of Luffy's head, grabbing his hair until he's exposing his neck for him to bite yet again, slipping his free hand in between them and curling his fingers around Luffy's cock, give it heavy and fast strokes while continuing to rock his hils against him.

"I want everyone on the fucking building to hear you," Law tells him, biting into his Adam's apple as Luffy swallows hard, his breath picking up, his moans becoming more frenetic, louder until they turn into whimpers, loud and desperate.

And so Law thrusts upward harder, faster, until Luffy relents to simply bounce on top him, until he stops being able to keep up, turning into a mess on top of him, until he's only able to keep his head up because Law's still grabbing him by his hair, his mouth hanging open, letting out all sorts of sounds, whimpering loudly, begging, calling Law's name.

It's brutal and everything Law needed, but it also ends too soon. Law comes first inside of Luffy, but keeps thrusting through his orgasm, stroking Luffy's cock in the same rhythm until he's coming too, hard and hot against his belly, him shaking on top of him before he let's his head fall, pressing his forehead against Law's shoulder blade and groaning loudly with the release, panting and his breath being uneven for a long while afterwards. They stay like that for a few moments, Luffy only moving his hips for Law's cock to be able to slide off of him, but remaining in the same position, pressed against Law's torso until it too gets uncomfortable.

He lets himself roll down onto the ruined sheets underneath them then, smiling at Law but barely keeping his eyes open, seaming satisfied. "I could do this all day."

"Let me recharge first," Law tells him, playfully, surprised by the hoarse tone of his own voice, and Luffy only laughs in response, his face still flustered, his hair a sweaty mess on top of his head, his bangs covering most of his forehead.

And Law can't help himself but to smile at him too, noticing Luffy's skin covered with red marks from his mouth and bringing his hand up to touch them, slightly, softly, feeling proud of himself for being the one responsible for them.

.

.

.

He spends a whole week sleeping at Luffy's place after that day, only going to his own apartment to change his clothes and to grab a few books or dossiers to be able to study throughout the day, although most of them have already found a special place on top Luffy's dining room table. And it's weird to think that, even though they had an absurd amount of sex on that short period of time, most of their interactions have no sexual interests underneath, it's weird to think that they now have common routines, that they share a space, it's weird to think that they've gotten so comfortable around each other so fast, so naturally. And that's exactly what Law's thinking about one night while staring absently at the ceiling above him, having woken up with a car honking loudly on the street and without being able to get back to sleep, the light coming through the windows lighting Luffy's apartment just enough for them not to be completely surrounded by darkness. And maybe that's what keeps making Law wake up out of a blue nowadays, herealizes then, him being used to sleeping surrounded by complete darkness but Luffy preferring to leave at least one of the blinds open, stating that he likes to be able to see where he is if he wakes up during the night.

As Law changes his position, turning to his side, he realizes how Luffy's bed may as well be the best bed that he has even laid on. It's a cheap one, Law knows, since it's not like Luffy could afford a high prized one anyway. It creaks loudly when someone puts weigh on it or moves on top of it, and Law has to sleep diagonally for his feet not to be left out, but at the same time he finds that he really doesn't care, because it's just so comfortable and so warm and everything a bed should be. Luffy's sleeping beside him, curled up in a ball and with his bangs covering most of his face, looking peaceful, his breathing coming out softly, in a slow but steady rhythm, and it's hard for Law to look away then, it's hard for him to not think about how much Luffy has changed, way more than people can see, way more than what Law realizes himself, and sometimes it's hard for Law to believe that Luffy is still that young.

When Luffy lost his brother he also lost his shelter, his home, and despite being already nineteen at the time he was still obligated to grow sooner than what he was expecting. Law has never met Ace, and only knows his face by the few pictures that he has managed to see back at Luffy's old apartment, but it's not that hard for him to see that, with him gone, Luffy had to figure out life for himself, without having his big brother there to make things easier for him. And that helped, in a very disturbing and wrong kind of way, it helped Luffy learn how to live on his own, how to do tasks and chores, how to be responsible for himself, how to do the things his brother used to do for him, but it left a few marks too, the now healed scar on his chest, the smaller scars covering his forearms, the now permanent bags underneath his eyes because he still refuses to sleep until he's exhausted, the tension on top of his shoulders that refuses to go away, and so many more that Law knows he has but doesn't know where yet.

And, as Law watches Luffy turning around until he's lying on his back, he can't help but find it weird how he barely knows a thing about him, and yet he wants to, wants to get to know all of him, so much so that it surprises him. Law realizes then how he doesn't know what Luffy has so special about him, realizes then that he normally gets bored of most people because he finds them dull, stupid, unimportant, realizes then that the number of people who have managed to have an impact on him could be counted on one hand, and yet there Luffy was, laying down next to him, realizes then how he still hasn't got bored of him and at this point probably never will.

Law reaches out to him then, suddenly feeling an urge to touch him, to be close to him, but not wanting to wake him up, and he feels his heart being crushed inside of his ribcage when he rubs his hand softly along his cheek but finds the skin underneath cold, freezing. It confuses Law for a bit, him getting too taken aback, being confused, but then he notices how Luffy is barely even breathing, how his fists are clenched on the sheet covering him, and the reality suddenly hits him. He turns on the lamp on the bedside table next to him, letting it illuminate the room area, and then he calls Luffy's name, softly, repeatedly, fighting the urge to shake his shoulder and probably do more harm than good.

And Luffy does wake up, although not at all in the way that Law wanted him to, startled, full of fear, opening his eyes but not seeing anything in front of him, too blinded by the sudden come back to reality, running to the bathroom with shaky legs, stumbling against the furniture. Law follows him right after, finding him throwing up violently, grabbing onto the toilet seat as if his whole life depends on it, Chopper frantically trying to catch his attention, smelling and barking to see what's wrong, stepping away when Law couches down next to his owner and helps Luffy take his hair out of his face, slowing patting his back as he throws up everything he has had for dinner earlier that night, flushing the toilet every once in a while and telling him that it's okay when Luffy's starts repeating over and over again  _it's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault_  like he's stuck in a loop, his small body trembling hard, sobbing uncontrollably, his breathing so shaky and so irregular that sometimes it's almost like he has stopped breathing altogether.

Luffy tries to shove him away multiple times whenever Law got closer, tries to make him go away when Law just continues tracing paths on his back with his hand to try to calm him down, but all his attempts are weak, almost as if he has lost all the strength on his arms, almost as if all of energy was suddenly drained out of him. He almost knocks Law to the floor when he stands up, but he ends up just rocking Law's balance momentarily, him standing onto his feet too while watching as Luffy grabs his toothbrush, turning on the water of the shower and entering the bathtub without even taking off his clothes or waiting for the water to start running hot, scrubbing his teeth furiously and making his gums bleed.

"Leave me alone," Luffy tells him then, spitting the remaining toothpaste on his mouth to the drain and watching as it disappears, then throwing away the toothbrush without caring where it lands, his voice cold, distant, almost as if he's a totally different person.

And so instead Law just enters the bathtub with him, despite knowing that he's probably making a huge mistake, despite knowing that he's probably just making things worse, him not taking off his clothes either and feeling his whole body complain when the cold water hits his skin. But he ignores it, all of it, and just wraps his arms around Luffy's shoulders when he doesn't try to push him away again, when he looks away from him before Law's able to register how the anger in his eyes gets washed away and is replaced by sadness, him bringing his closed fists up to cover them.

Law keeps his hug light at first, barely touching him, not wanting to overwhelm Luffy even more, not wanting to cause him more stress but still wanting to provide him some kind of comfort, and they stay like that for a while, until Luffy starts sobbing against his dump shirt, pressing his face so much into Law's chest that it hurts, his hands grabbing him with so much strength that he feels Luffy's fingers craving into his skin, but all Law does is tighten his embrace around him, not minding it one slight bit. He tries to adjust the water temperature when it starts boiling hot after a long while, not stepping or moving away an inch from Luffy while doing so, and they stay like that for only God knows how long, just letting the warm water fall over them, Law tracing patters on Luffy's back, petting his hair as gently as he can manage.

At some point Law gets rid of their clothes, patiently, taking off his own first and then slowly helping Luffy out of his until they're both naked underneath the water springs. He throws everything to the other end of the bathtub and ignores the pile, letting them be a problem for when it's morning.

He starts washing Luffy's hair his with shampoo then, gently running his fingers over it, massaging his scalp for a long while, then softly rubbing his skin with soap until all of him smells like almond, until he feels some of his tension leaving his body. Not once does Luffy look at him, instead keeping his eyes closed, almost as if he doesn't bear to do it, pressing his eyelids shut while fighting the tears from pouring out of them, his lips trembling even as Luffy clenches his jaw so hard the trace of his molars gets visible, and it crunches Law's heart to see him like that, almost as if someone his grabbing his own hear and squeezing it in between their hands. And so Law kisses his forehead, then both of his cheeks, then the top of his nose, so gently that his lips barely even touch his skin, so gently that Law's sure Luffy can barely even feel it along with the water running down his face, and so he does process again, and again, and again, until Luffy finally looks at him with lost eyes, seeming small, fragile, but at the same time so beautiful that it makes Law's chest hitch painfully.

"I'm so tired of this," Luffy tells him, his voice so low that Law barely hears him above the noise of the water falling over them, and Law truly wants to tell him that he understands what he's feeling, that he gets it, but he doesn't, that would be a lie.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks instead, keeping his voice low and gentle, and he hopes that Luffy understands that it's okay if he doesn't, that it's okay if he says no, but he just nods in response and looks at Law's mouth, waiting for him to close the distance between them. And so Law does, kissing him gently, but deep and slow, not rushing, not wanting to make more out of it, stroking his cheek and just being there, holding Luffy close until the water starts running cold and they're forced to leave.

Law steps out first and wraps a towel around Luffy before doing the same for himself, drying Luffy's dripping hair with another one before taking care of his own. He follows Luffy back to the bedroom area afterwards, watching as the act of walking seems painful for him, and then accepts when Luffy just hands him a big shirt and a pair of loose shorts that fit him just fine, dressing them and looking as Luffy does the same, the process not being anything near sexual but still being full of intimacy in a way that Law can't quite explain.

Then they climb to bed again, and Law doesn't think much when Luffy just snuggles closer to him, instead wrapping his arms around him and hoping that he's comfortable like that.

"Want to talk about it?" Law asks him after a while, gently brushing his fingernails over the visible skin of his shoulder, his shirt hanging loose around his neck, seeming too big to be one of his own, making Law wonder if it may have belonged to his brother before, making him wonder if Luffy can still smell his scent on it at all. "Or do you want to be distracted from it?" He tries again, when Luffy doesn't give him any response.

"Just keep talking," Luffy tells him, his voice getting muffled against Law's chest, sounding fragile, and so Law does, for a long while, Law talking about everything and about anything at the same time, telling him stories, telling him what he did that day before coming to his apartment, telling him what he learned in his classes, not expecting Luffy to understand anything, and Luffy never once says a word, but Law finds that it's okay, that he doesn't mind, because at some point Luffy body stopped shaking, at some point his grip stopped being so tight that it hurt, at some point his breathing stopped sounding small and irregular, and they stay like that for what feels like hours, but never once did Law dare to grab his phone and check the time, never once did he dare to move away from Luffy.

Law doesn't know when exactly Luffy fell asleep again next to him, doesn't know how long it took, but he finds that it doesn't matter. He tries to do the same then, but he quickly realizes that he's unable too, his mind being too fuzzy, his thoughts all over the place. He realizes then how Luffy is the kind of person that gives you everything, including all of himself, but he's also the kind of person that expects you to do the same in return, and the more Law thinks about it the more he realizes that he doesn't know how he's supposed to do that.

And so he holds Luffy closer in between his arms, digging his face into his still wet hair and inhaling his scent deeply, focusing on the rhythm of his soft breaths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quarantine has got me wondering a lot of things. Like, this story has been around for quite some time now (it's been four years since I posted the first chapter on FF, and I'm still shook) and, I don't know, I sometimes just wonder if there are some fan arts about this piece around and that I don't know about. I'm not saying this to sound pretentious or anything like that, it's just that if those works exist I would very much love to see them, it would be like reaching the top of Mount Everest for me, you know?
> 
> Remember that sometimes it's okay to give up – that it's okay to give up on people that hurt or mistreat you, that it's okay to give up on things that don't do you any good, physical, emotional or mentally. Remember that it's okay to give up on something just to try doing it another way. Remember to not always connect the act of giving up as something negative, because sometimes giving up is the best thing you can possibly do.
> 
> Stay safe!


End file.
